by Calia Read
Macsen stares at me heatedly and leans close. “What other things?”
“I’m not going to tell you here.” I pull back and that makes Macsen frown. “Maybe later.”
It’s like I didn’t even speak. Macsen moves even closer. “Are you still sore?”
“Don’t ask that here!” I whisper with my eyes wide with shock.
“Why not?” He hooks both feet underneath my seat and pushes me closer to the table.
His knee brushes against my thigh. I squirm and adjust my skirt. “We’re in public,” I practically croak out.
Macsen’s eyes never leave my face. “Now that I know you’re thinking about it, I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“So stop talking about it!” I hiss and look back down at my textbook.
A few seconds pass by, and Macsen’s eyes are still on me. I can feel it. “You know what would take my mind off it?”
“What?” I ask distractedly.
“There’s a section on the second floor where no one goes.” My head shoots up. Not because of his words, but how he’s saying those words. At this point, I think I’ll do whatever he wants me to do.
I shake my head, even though I’m dying to agree. “We can’t do that,” I protest quietly.
Macsen sees through my denial and gives me a naughty smile. “Why not? I haven’t even finished what I was going to say.”
My heart drums wildly. “What were you going to say?”
“I was going to say that if we go upstairs, you could tell me the things you were thinking about and I could do the thing I was thinking about.” He lifts a brow and his green eyes gleam brightly, but all I can see is what he could do to me again.
“This is a library,” I remind him. Even as I speak, my foot taps against the floor restlessly. It’s been a few days since I’ve been alone with him, and I’m dying to touch him.
His leg rubs against mine underneath the table and I keep myself from gasping. That’s just one simple touch, but it makes me shake. Looking across the table, I stare at him and can’t look away. “I want you everywhere, Emilia,” he admits seductively.
I’m ready to say no, but he’s looking at me like he could take me right here. Heat pools in between my legs, making me feel reckless and carefree. Gently, I place my pencil on top of my notebook.
I stand up and lean my hands on the table, feeling braver than I’ve ever felt. Macsen swallows and I know I’ve caught him off guard. “Wait five minutes. Then come find me,” I say firmly.
Before I lose my courage, I walk away. If I turn around, I know Macsen will be watching me, so I keep my eyes forward and walk past the rows of books and people quietly reading. Quickly, I hurry up the stairs. When I reach the second floor, I walk toward the aisles of books. I have no idea where I’m going, but I figure it won’t be hard to find.
“You’re going the wrong direction.”
I turn around and Macsen’s right behind me. “It hasn’t been five minutes!”
“You said five minutes?” He plays stupid before he grabs my hand. “Shit. I thought you said five seconds.”
A goofy smile is on my face as we walk past tables with students studying. None of them look up at us, as we take sharp turns. Soon we’re going deeper, into a part of the library I’ve never been in. “How big is this place?” I ask.
Macsen squeezes my hand. “Pretty big.”
He takes one last turn and lets me walk into the aisle first. Shelves filled with old books surround us. Turning around, I smile at him. He only lifts an eyebrow and smirks. His arms are gripping the bookshelves on both sides before he springs forward with a carnal look on his face.
He grabs my face in between his hands and kisses me urgently, showing me how much he wants this. I gasp in his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck, trying to bring him even closer.
His tongue strokes against mine as he walks me slowly backwards, until my shoulders touch the wall behind me. Macsen’s hard body touches mine and I stand on my tiptoes, molding myself against him.
“Wrap your legs around me,” Macsen tells me quickly.
I hook my legs around him, making my skirt hike up. Macsen groans when he looks down and both of his hands glide up my thighs. My eyes close as he slips past the barrier of my underwear. I’m eye to eye with him. He’s staring deeply into my eyes and all I can see is his lust. It builds the anticipation for me, making me wonder what he’s thinking. My hands dig into his neck, trying to push him closer.
There’s nothing soft about his kiss. It’s swift and urgent. His tongue sweeps into my mouth and his head angles to kiss me deeper. I inhale sharply through my nose and grip his hair in my hands, as I tangle my tongue with his.
My hands move against his chest and I fumble to unbutton his shirt. The last button slips free and I take in his chest and perfectly defined abs. I become greedy and drag my fingers down his skin. He groans and pulls away, panting and staring at me with a wild look.
I’m starting to become familiar with that look and rest my head against the wall. Macsen wraps a large hand around my neck and kisses his way across my jaw. My brain can’t keep up—not with the way Macsen has me caged in with his large body. His clean scent, mixed with his mouth dragging further down my neck, has me forgetting all the reasons why we shouldn’t be doing this here.
I try to be the voice of reason. “We’re in public,” I whisper.
Macsen moves away from my neck and his eyes lock with mine. “We’re hidden. No one will see us.”
I open my mouth to make another point, but his hand drifts down my body and possessively clutches my right hip. His eyes never leave my face as he wraps his hand around the material of my underwear and tugs hard. I gasp and look down at my underwear. It slides down my left thigh.
His finger brushes in between my legs, and I start breathing wildly at his simple touch. But I lose it when he slips a finger slips inside me. I buck against him and whimper. Blindly, I reach for him. My fingers grasp the sides of his stomach and I move against his hand.
“Fuck, Emilia!” Macsen hisses.
Wrapping an arm around me, he turns us around, and in the next second, I’m sitting on an open shelf.
I don’t waste time; I unzip his pants. They’re loose and hang low on his narrow hips. My heart hammers wildly in my chest as I look down and see his erection tent his boxers. A rush of anticipation passes through me because I want him inside me again. Anxiously, I pull down his boxers and stare him straight in the eye as I wrap my hand around him. His eyes become hooded as I move my hand up and down. I watch his face with fascination because I know that it’s only a matter of seconds before he’s going to pounce.
His chest heaves as my hand starts to move at a quicker pace. Abruptly he cages my face with both hands. “I can’t wait.” He kisses me hard on the mouth. It’s the kind of kiss where I have no choice but to accept him and kiss him back.
It’s aggressive. It’s exciting. It pulls me over the edge and makes me guide his dick in between my legs, right where I need him. Macsen doesn’t wait. He slides into me quickly and I gasp into his mouth over the feeling.
His eyes slam shut as he fills me completely. The muscles trailing up his neck are corded and strained. His breathing becomes harsh as he pulls out slowly and thrusts back in. I move my hips restlessly and Macsen grasps them firmly.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he admits with a groan.
All I can do is nod my head. I look down at where the two of us meet. There’s something thrilling about watching him move in and out of me. Soon he’s moving so fast I can barely keep up. I let him take control and when I do, I let myself go. My lips are tightly shut and a groan escapes me. I grip the shelf above me and just as I climax, two books fall off the shelf and land on the ground loudly. I cry out. I don’t even care if we’re caught at this point. I feel too good to worry.
He moves faster inside me and his fingers tighten around my hips. I watch with my lids half-open as he closes his eyes, and rests
his head on my shoulder. When he comes, a quiet groan escapes him.
Macsen breathes deeply before he looks at me. He doesn’t pull away. His eyes are rooted on my face. He tries to smile widely, but it comes across shaky. “This is fucking insane.”
“What is?” I ask him cautiously.
“Me and you.” He glances down and pulls at my ripped underwear. “This. How out of control you make me feel.”
He’s right. It is insane.
I’m never this careless. I never react before I think things through, but there’s a freedom in my new actions.
Maybe it’s only because Macsen makes me feel this way.
Chapter Twenty-one
EMILIA
One week later
I’m on borrowed time. I know this. Every single day I feel it. In my mind, there is an hourglass with sand inside, slowly dropping the time away.
And maybe that’s what makes me afraid. Time can drive your actions. When you have all the time in the world, your thoughts and actions are slow and well thought out. But my thoughts are desperate. I take each moment I have with Macsen and savor it.
Slowly, I fold the shirt in my hands and place it in my suitcase. Tomorrow I will be flying home. There’s not much happiness inside me—just a lot of dread and sorrow. Thanksgiving break isn’t supposed to be so dark and sad. But for the last three years, it has been nothing but gloom for my family.
Severine watches me from her bed. She says nothing to me, but her glare says more than enough.
“Are you excited for break?” she asks.
Looking over at her, I lift a single brow. “Not really.”
“Why’s that?”
My foot taps on the ground nervously. Severine’s talking to me as if this is a common occurrence for us. She has a gleam in her eyes that shows me she has something planned. I’m ready to get out of here. I’m ready to see Macsen. And I’m ready to get far away from Severine.
“I like it here,” I assure her. She doesn’t look convinced. “Do you like it here because you can trick Macsen?”
Macsen’s name coming from her mouth makes me abruptly turn around and narrow my eyes. “I’m not tricking him.”
“You’ve magically changed?” she challenges.
“Whatever I say, you’re going to find a way to make it sound bad.”
Leaning forward, she points a finger at me. “You’re using him!”
“No, I am not!” I say harshly.
Her head pulls back. This is the first time I’ve raised my voice to anyone other than my siblings. It doesn’t happen to me often. I can handle her dark looks in my direction. Expressions are harmless. It’s when Severine tries to take something that I value in my life that I stand tall and refuse to back down.
Exhaling loudly, I look down at the floor and back up. “I know you’ve told everyone to warn Macsen about me.”
“Can you blame me?”
I don’t answer her question. I pick up my luggage and walk to the door. I’m two steps from the hallway when I’m suddenly halted by her words.
“He’s going to find out!” she says sharply.
Gripping the edge of the door, I turn and look over my shoulder. “If he does, let it be from me, not you, an ex-girlfriend who looks more insecure than worried.”
That hits a nerve with Severine. She rushes forward and stops in the middle of the room. “I’m not insecure, I’m concerned!”
“Go to him then,” I demand firmly. “Call Macsen right now, and tell him everything.”
She says nothing.
“Come on, Severine,” I say softly. “If you were really concerned, you wouldn’t give up until he knew everything. Let me tell him the truth. Let me tell him that everything has changed.”
I leave her standing there with anger written all over her features.
My steps are sure as I walk down the hall. I pass by a few girls in my dorm and give them polite smiles, but my heart’s thundering in my ears as I hurry down the stairs and out the front door.
Something ugly came out of me when I talked to Severine. Something possessive leaked out of my heart and is controlling my mind.
I’d do anything. Say anything. Be anything. Just to keep Macsen.
Dark love hurts.
My phone rings and I jerk it out of my bag impatiently. “What?” I snap out.
“Emilia?” Aniston asks with concern.
I slow down my steps and take a deep breath. “Yeah?”
“What’s wrong?” my brother asks.
“Nothing,” I say with a sigh. “You just caught me at a bad time.”
“Are you okay? Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Aniston rushes out.
“I’m fine,” I tell him firmly. “I’ve just been studying a lot.”
Guilt clogs my throat. Sometimes it’s never-ending.
Terrible, my conscience whispers. You’re a terrible person.
I know I’ve been ignoring my brother, without caring how it would affect him. But I haven’t been ready to talk to him yet. He can read me like a book.
“Everyone is excited to see you tomorrow.”
“I’m excited to see everyone too,” I lie. Quickly, I speak up and try to push past my thoughts. “What are you doing?”
“I just woke up.”
“Aniston, it’s 3 P.M.”
“I had a late night.”
A late night drinking. That’s what my brother isn’t telling me.
“Okay…” I drag out. There’s not much I can say after that. “Just be up before 3 to pick me up tomorrow, alright? I don’t feel like hanging out at the airport all day.”
He laughs. “I’ll be there … along with Eden.”
I start to smile because he hasn’t mentioned Macsen … or my Burn List. “Sounds good.”
“You can tell me all about Macsen and what you did to him.”
Dammit.
I cringe and hurry toward my car. “Can’t wait,” I croak out.
I take the coward’s way out and quickly hang up before he can say anything else. When I’m in my car, I take a deep breath and lean my head against the seat.
I’m dreading tomorrow.
~
I grab a slice of pizza and lean against the counter. Macsen’s way of ‘making dinner’ is pretty good, but many more meals like this and I will never fit into my clothes. I take another big bite.
My nerves are still making me shake. I keep replaying the conversation with Severine in my head. Her words are right there. It’s like a gun is pressed against my back pushing me to admit the truth. But it’s my last day with Macsen before I leave. I look over at him as he picks up the kitchen.
“You are always picking things up around here,” I comment.
“I live with Chris,” Macsen says from the opposite side of the kitchen. “If I didn’t clean, this place would be condemned.” He dumps a few old plastic plates into the trash and looks over at the fresh pack of cigarettes on the counter. Quickly, he grabs the pack and tosses them into the trash.
My eyes widen. “Macsen! Those were Chris’s.”
Shrugging, Macsen leans an arm around me to grab a slice of pizza. “I’m doing him a favor. Smoking is fucking nasty.”
I wipe my hands on a napkin. My eyes are trained on Macsen the whole time. “You don’t like smoking?”
He leans his hip against the counter and shrugs. “It’s just gross.”
I open my mouth, but the strong smell of cologne stops me. Chris walks through the living room. He’s dressed to go out and snatches a slice of pizza.
I shoot him a look and he only winks at me. “Hey there.”
“Hey.” I grab another piece of pizza before Macsen and Chris can steal it. “I thought you had a date?”
“Yeah.” Chris frowns. “In an hour, why?”
I point at the food in his hand. “Aren’t you going out to eat?”
He gives me a dry look. “No, I’m taking her to a ritzy, fucking cocktail lounge where we will sip on mixed dri
nks all night,” Chris says sarcastically before he taps a finger to his temple. “Look alive, Rapunzel. I’m eating my dinner now. And when I take this girl out, anything that I eat will be recharge ... you know, before all the sex.”
Crossing my arms, I look at him skeptically. Macsen just grins and asks, “And who’s the lucky girl that’s going to have the Bresloff experience?”
Chris frowns down at the counter. And for the first time, since I’ve known him, he looks serious. “Some girl.”
“Chris is lying,” I say with a smile.
He shoots me a dark glare. “You’re my mom now? It’s just some chick I met.”
Macsen leans against me and plays along. “Are you sure?” He points to Chris’s face. “I think you’re blushing.”
Chris’s mouth opens, before he presses his lips into a thin line. He whirls around and stomps toward the door. “Fuck you two! I’m out!”
The door slams behind him, and I laugh while I shut the empty pizza box. I turn around and bump right into Macsen. The gleam in his eyes makes heat unfurl in my belly. His hands rest against the counter behind me, and I’m boxed in between his arms.
“I finally have you alone,” he says in a sexy whisper.
My stomach flip-flops with anticipation. He makes me forget about leaving. Makes me forget about my conversations with Severine and Aniston. All those worries fall off my shoulders like heavy weights.
Grinning up at him, I pat his chest. My fingers linger on his stomach. “You do.”
“You want me to carry you to my bedroom, all alpha male?” His brows move up and down.
A laugh escapes me as I duck under his arm and throw away the pizza box. “You really are hung up on that, aren’t you?”
Macsen crosses his arms, “I know you read them!”
Turning back to him, I rest my hand on my hip. “I think you want me to read romance books. What if I read sci-fi novels?”
Macsen takes a sip of water and tips the drink in my direction. “Then you just got even sexier to me.”
“But what if I just read nothing but romance books?” I counter back.