by Kylie Chan
‘All right, all right,’ I said, and dropped my voice. ‘Mother.’
‘To quote Master Leo, “I heard that”,’ she said loudly from the doorway.
An hour later she was back, hesitating at the doorway.
I looked up from the printouts. ‘Yes?’
‘He’s asking for you, ma’am.’
I jumped up and ran to the infirmary. John was awake and sitting up, having an argument with Edwin.
‘Emma, talk to him,’ Edwin said with exasperation as I entered. ‘He can’t just leap out of bed and go fight a war like this. He needs to slow down.’
‘Are you feeling okay?’ I asked John.
‘Tired, and I ache all over, and some painkillers for the headache would be most welcome. It feels like Gold stuck a glass blade through my brain, but I’m good.’
‘Do you need a hand back to your office?’
‘Hold Edwin down while I escape.’
We both turned to Edwin. He gestured angrily towards John. ‘You need to rest!’
John levered himself off the bed and winced as his feet hit the floor. He bent to put his forehead in his hand. ‘Just something for the headache, Edwin.’
Edwin made a loud sound of frustration and stormed out.
I held my hand out and John looked at it for a long moment. I shoved it at him to make the point. He slumped even further and took my hand so I could check him.
‘Don’t do anything, just check,’ he said.
I looked inside. The pain in his feet and head were feeding off each other, running through his meridians and multiplying with the stress, but his energy levels weren’t as bad as I thought they’d be.
And then I was sucked into a huge dark vortex and I was inside his meridians, riding the energy through him, experiencing the rawness of his feet and the pounding in his head, and my centre was a huge gaping abyss that I needed to keep carefully under control to protect my beloved family when it would be so very easy to release the darkness and destroy everything …
My brain exploded with a blast so cold it was like a brain freeze, and I jumped back and took a long defensive position. I cast around for whoever had struck me, checking behind me as well. I dropped my hands when I saw John standing in front of me.
‘Just call my name, dammit! There was no need to snap-freeze my brain.’
‘I did call your name, multiple times. I tried everything. We’ve been merged for nearly a minute.’ He leaned back on the bed, grim with defeat. ‘The Serpent is right. We’re absorbing you.’
I took a step closer to him and gazed up into his eyes, and he stretched back, still pinned against the bed, to avoid touching me. I wrapped my arms around him and he relented and hugged me back, resting his cheek on the top of my head.
‘Can you swallow me slowly until I’m completely lost into you?’ I said. ‘Never mind. Of course you can. That’s how we snakes devour our prey.’
He pulled me tight. ‘Focus on being yourself, a separate entity from me.’
‘Is that a yes, you can swallow me?’ I said.
‘I’ve never done it.’
‘This is a unique situation.’
‘That it is. But I like to think both of me love you too much to do this to you.’ He dropped his voice. ‘If we ended this relationship, separated and lived apart, then neither of us would ever have to worry about this again.’
I pulled back to see his miserable face. ‘Do you want to end our relationship?’
‘No. Of course not.’
‘Then we’ll stay together.’
‘Emma …’
‘But we may consider a temporary separation as a last resort.’
‘Very well. Once I am whole I will be able to control it. But if we become too much in synch, I warn you now that I will ask you for a separation until this is no longer an issue.’
‘And I’ll reluctantly agree, but I won’t be happy about it.’
‘Good. That’s a relief.’
I shrugged. ‘We’re both so busy we hardly see each other anyway.’
‘That’s true. I have a million things I need to do.’
We released each other.
‘Uh … if you two merge and she becomes a part of you, part of the Immortal Dark Lord,’ Edwin said from the doorway, ‘…does that count as you Raising her?’
We gazed into each other’s eyes again. We both knew the answer to that, and replied together.
‘No.’
‘Go right in, sir,’ Yi Hao said outside my office.
Leo walked in and sat across the desk from me. I shuffled the student files to one side.
‘You wanted to see me?’ he said.
‘They drugged him through an IV in the Serpent’s back,’ I said. ‘Whatever it was worked so quickly he didn’t have a chance to neutralise it. Edwin analysed his reactions and says they probably anaesthetised him.’
‘At least they didn’t attack while he was out.’ He studied me intensely. ‘And you need to get some rest, Emma. Both of you are pushing yourselves too hard.’
I gestured towards him. ‘You haven’t been using your wheelchair lately.’
His expression went emotionless.
We sat looking at each other in silence for a long moment. Eventually I caved and put my forehead in my hand. ‘Martin’s turtle?’
‘This is really none of your business,’ he said.
‘Maybe I should talk to your husband.’
His voice sharpened. ‘Maybe you should butt the hell out.’
‘Leo, John’s a turtle too.’
‘And?’ he said, still irate.
‘He’s asked me.’
‘He’s asked you what? Stop talking in riddles and come to the point.’
I struggled to explain it without being crass and direct, then gave up. ‘He asked me to have sex with his turtle.’
His face went blank, then filled with sympathy. ‘Are you okay?’ He reached across the desk to hold my hand. ‘I hope this hasn’t put a rift between you two. Your relationship is like a solid rock that holds the Mountain together.’
‘Same with you two and the Northern Heavens,’ I said, squeezing his hand. ‘I’m not upset with him, I understand why he’s asked. It would heal him. He’d have his feet completely back. He wouldn’t be in pain any more. He’d stop trying to merge with me —’
He interrupted me. ‘What?’
I waved it away. ‘He’s desperate to rejoin, and I’m close and I’m a reptile too.’
‘You should have told me, Emma. If you’re at risk then you should separate.’
‘That’s one of the reasons I’m asking you about this turtle thing. If we were to do it, he’d stop trying to merge with me.’
‘I see. But …?’
‘But it’s just so damn freaky!’
‘Damn straight it is,’ he said. ‘It’s something I thought I’d never do. Hell, I was freaked out more than you are when Ming brought the subject up.’
‘And?’
He released my hand and leaned back. ‘Exactly how much do you want me to share here? I know you women discuss just about every single damn detail of your sex lives, but I’m a guy and you’re like my sister and this is starting to feel really awkward.’
‘Would I regret saying yes?’
‘To having sex with him as a turtle?’
‘Yes.’
‘What form would you be in? Human or snake?’
‘What form are you in with Martin?’
He hesitated for a long moment, then said, ‘Both.’ He saw my confusion. ‘Sometimes human, sometimes lion.’
‘You’ve done it more than once?’
He smiled slightly. ‘Hell, yeah. So human or snake?’
‘Human. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with my snake.’
‘That’s a shame,’ Leo said, the smile not shifting. ‘The truer your form, the better it is.’
‘Are you saying I wouldn’t regret it?’
He visibly relaxed. ‘It would be one of the g
reatest experiences of your life. Absolutely euphoric. Completely transcendental.’ His eyes turned inward and his smile widened. ‘Like a really good shen energy meditation, but with all your brain’s pleasure centres lighting up at the same time. I don’t know how he does it, but damn it’s good.’
‘Those are some of the words the Tiger used.’
‘Don’t ask the Tiger about this. Martin says he has no experience in the matter — the female turtles won’t have anything to do with him.’
‘I know. I didn’t ask the Tiger; he’s been pushing me to do it so that it’ll heal John.’
‘It will. It’ll heal you too,’ Leo said. He spread his hands slightly. ‘Look at me. Out of the chair for a week every time we do it.’
‘Way too much information.’
He waved me down. ‘I think we’ve shared more information in the last five minutes than we ever have.’
I smiled at him. ‘I know, and it wasn’t nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. Thanks for being frank. I am so glad I have you.’
‘Anything else you need, ma’am?’
‘Should I do it?’
‘That’s your choice. If the idea freaks you out too much you won’t be able to fully appreciate the experience. But …’ He leaned over the desk to grin knowingly at me. ‘If you’re willing to let go of your inhibitions and relax into it, it is completely worth it. It would be incredibly good for both of you. It would be so good for him — and make him so strong — that I’d like to say go right ahead and do it, because having him back to full strength will give the Celestial an edge we really need.’
‘You are the last person in the world I’d expect to say go have sex with an animal,’ I said.
‘Hey, we’re all animals. I’m a lion, you’re a snake and these two are turtles.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s a goddamn zoo around here. Couldn’t get much weirder if we tried.’
‘How’s Butterfly?’
His grin widened. ‘Buffy. She’s settled in, decorated her room completely in pink lace and sparkles, loves fairies and princesses, and is the most wonderful thing ever to happen to us.’
‘You make sure you give her trucks and Meccano as well as fairies and princesses,’ I said sternly, poking my index finger at him. ‘Don’t you dare limit that child’s experiences just because of her gender.’
He nodded. ‘Don’t worry, she has cars. She just likes the girly stuff, you know? Maybe it’s because she didn’t have anything really pretty at the orphanage. I’m sure she’ll grow out of it in no time and hate pink as much as Simone did.’
‘Simone had a Hello Kitty T-shirt on the other day,’ I said. ‘She said she was wearing it ironically.’
‘Damn,’ he said. ‘Our daughter the hipster.’
‘So many children in our lives. We have to protect them and keep them close.’
‘And having him strong will give us an edge,’ he said. ‘So seriously, think about it. It won’t hurt you — in fact, the experience is thoroughly worth it — and it would be really good for him.’
‘That’s very similar to what the Tiger said. Have you been talking to him?’
‘Absolutely not,’ he growled. ‘That damn cat stays well away from me. You can’t have two big male cats anywhere near each other. One day I will take him on in True Form and we’ll see whose claws are sharper.’
‘I would like to see that.’ I went around the desk to give him a quick hug around his huge shoulders. ‘Thanks, Leo.’
‘No problem, honey,’ he said, and went out.
I sat behind the desk and opened the spreadsheets but didn’t really see them. Having John strong could possibly mean the difference between victory and defeat.
A stone appeared above my desk with an audible pop.
‘Can I help you?’ I said.
‘Help, General Danahuo,’ she said. ‘My Ronnie — there’s something terribly wrong with him.’
I leapt to my feet. ‘Where is he?’
‘In the demon quarters here on the Mountain.’
I tapped the stone and didn’t wait for it to reply. ‘Stone. Ronnie Wong’s in trouble. Call Edwin —’ I changed my mind; he needed a demon master, not a human doctor. ‘Call LK.’
‘LK’s with him,’ the stone said. ‘Silica, you know what this is.’
‘Your demon master is wrong. He’s just sick,’ Silica said, floating next to me at eye level as I headed towards the demon barracks. ‘He looks so old, and he hardly knows who I am.’
I stopped. ‘Oh dear Lord. I am so sorry, Silica.’
She changed to human form. ‘No, he’s sick. He’s unwell. He has to be.’
‘He’s Ascending, dear one,’ the stone said with compassion.
Her face crumpled. ‘He’s just sick.’
‘Go directly back to him. You don’t have long to say goodbye,’ the stone said.
Silica released a huge gasping sob, changed to stone form and disappeared.
‘Does the Dark Lord know?’ I said.
‘He does. He abandoned a meeting to be present at Ronnie’s Ascension. This is a momentous occasion.’
‘Not for Silica.’
‘It is highly unusual for a demon to Ascend and leave loved ones behind.’
‘I know. Ah Yat cried for a long time because she didn’t want to leave Simone when she went.’ I dropped my voice. ‘I wonder where she is now.’
‘She is on a journey. She is searching for the Way. Now that she has gained free will and a higher consciousness, she will find it more easily. Be happy for her, Emma,’ the stone said.
‘I am.’
I arrived at the demon barracks to find a group of demons gathered around the door. I went inside and through the sparsely furnished main quarters to Ronnie’s private rooms at the end.
‘… and I refuse to go,’ Ronnie was saying.
He was lying on his bunk with Silica, LK and John kneeling around him. Silica was next to his head and held his hand. Ronnie was hardly recognisable: he had aged twenty years, but at the same time seemed glowingly youthful.
‘The fact that you deny Ascension is proof that you are ready for it,’ John said, his voice calm and low. ‘Be glad that you are Ascending. Your will is now your own.’
‘But I won’t remember who I am!’ Ronnie said, trying to lift himself and failing. ‘I won’t leave Silica and forget what I had with her!’
‘You will remember eventually,’ John said.
‘Do you remember all of your past?’ Ronnie said.
‘When you are Raised it becomes part of you again, but not a complete memory — even the mind of an Immortal cannot handle the weight of all history,’ John said. ‘It is said that when you attain the highest level and become a Buddha, all of your past lives are laid before you and the full wisdom you have gained from many lifetimes is finally accessible.’
‘Let yourself go,’ Silica said, now much calmer, but with tears streaming down her face. ‘You will have free will and the opportunity to be something much greater. I love you and I will miss you, but this is what you need to do. I will go on without you and I will be just fine.’
‘I will find you again, Silica,’ Ronnie said. ‘I will always love you, you made my life so happy for this short time. Search for me, because I will always be searching for you …’
He collapsed back onto the bed then exploded into a cloud of glowing black particles.
We held our breath as the black particles hung suspended in the air. They changed to gold, coalesced into a shining ball of light, and descended through the floor. We all let out our breath with relief.
I wiped my eyes. He’d made it, but it was hard to feel happy for him with Silica sitting next to the bed, her face blank with shock.
‘It happened so fast,’ she whispered.
‘That is often the way when we lose the ones we love. It takes only a moment and they are gone,’ John said, his voice mirroring her grief.
‘I am glad I had a chance to tell him I loved him.’ She looked up at John. �
�Is that possible? For him to find me?’
‘The long answer to your question is: if your bond is true and your hearts are destined to be together, then nothing can keep them apart.’ John glanced at me, then turned back to Silica. ‘The short answer is: yes.’
She nodded. ‘Thank you, my Lord, you have eased my pain. He will find me.’ She disappeared.
John took my hand to help me to stand, and we went out.
LK followed us. ‘While I have you here, can I talk to you for a moment?’
‘As soon as we’ve resolved the current Hell situation we’ll find you a successor,’ John said.
‘I already had a successor lined up — but he just Ascended.’
‘A demon can’t be demon master,’ I said.
‘Just because it’s never been done before doesn’t mean it can’t happen now,’ LK said. ‘There’s no reason why a smart strong demon can’t be demon master, and they won’t have the problems that we do.’
I nodded. ‘You have a point. Do you have anybody else who would be suitable?’
LK shook his head.
‘Take your time and find a new master when everything has settled down,’ John said.
‘I can’t. Look.’ LK raised his hands. His fingernails and the tips of his fingers were black.
John studied them. ‘You should have told us. Does it burn?’
‘It’s keeping me awake at night.’
‘Then we need to find someone right now,’ John said.
‘Nigel’s offered to take the job back until we can find someone new,’ LK said. ‘We just need to do the handover in your office.’
‘Nigel can’t do it,’ John said.
‘He has to; he’s the only one available with the knowledge to handle it,’ LK said.
‘He’ll deteriorate quicker than you,’ I said. ‘You have to find someone new.’
LK spread his hands. ‘Everybody’s busy with this war business. Nobody’s free.’
‘Did you ask the Tiger?’
‘He can’t spare anyone either.’
‘You are stood down,’ John said. ‘You are to have no more contact with demons. Your full-time position is now finding a replacement for yourself. Search the Celestial from top to bottom — and I include Hell — to find someone, because you are off demon management immediately.’
‘But —’ LK began.