by Kylie Chan
My breath left me with a gasp as I realised. ‘You had to do that because of my mistake in bringing them here. Even though they can be completely trusted, they could still be captured and their minds read by a powerful enough demon. I should have brought an Immortal or Shen, not ordinary humans.’
‘Now she understands.’
I leaned my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. ‘I am totally unfit for this job.’
‘So am I.’ He levered himself off the door, still holding me. ‘But we do our best, and make mistakes, and hope that not too many lives are lost when we mess up. In this case, it was just a short-term memory for a couple of students and they’ll be proud to have made the sacrifice.’ He opened the door. ‘Let’s go up and find something to eat. Neither of us had breakfast and it’s already lunchtime.’
‘I don’t feel like eating,’ I said.
‘Neither do I. But we will eat anyway because we need to be strong.’ He raised his head and his eyes unfocused. ‘The Jade Emperor has requested an immediate report on this meeting.’ He turned to me. ‘You weren’t summoned too?’
‘No, thank the Heavens,’ I said. ‘He’s finally giving me a chance to recuperate.’
The summons hit me and he saw it. I sighed and he took my hand.
The trip to the Celestial Palace never knocked us out: the Jade Emperor was probably helping. But it didn’t stop us from clutching each other, dizzy, as we landed. We nodded when we were both ready and strode into the minor audience hall. The Jade Emperor was sitting there as if he hadn’t moved since we’d seen him last. We knelt before him and he waved for us to sit.
‘What is your opinion of sacrificing the Earthly to retain control of Hell and Heaven?’ he said as we sat.
John and I shared a look; this level of directness from him was unheard of.
‘I think we can hold the Earthly without compromising control of our side of Hell,’ John said.
‘I agree. When he returns tomorrow with the new treaty, wait the full two days then tell him no. He will immediately attack Hell. Be ready, Ah Wu.’
‘I will, Majesty,’ John said, his voice cold and grim.
‘Dismissed,’ the Emperor said. ‘Use these three days to prepare our defences.’
‘Majesty,’ we said in unison, rose, saluted him and went out.
Your eleven o’clock appointment is here, ma’am, Yi Hao said the next morning.
‘Come on in, Kenny,’ I shouted at the door.
Kenny was a sweet American senior who was a complete genius with energy. He’d arrived after the Mountain had moved back to Heaven and had never known Lok, so he’d asked to speak to me about a personal matter. Lok needed to rebuild his status as a trusted advisor for the students, but it wouldn’t take long.
Kenny fell to one knee and saluted me, and I waved for him to sit on the other side of the desk. ‘What can I do for you, Kenny?’
He looked down at his hands, obviously uncomfortable. ‘I love being here. This is the greatest place I’ve ever been, I’ve learned so much …’ He looked up into my eyes, his own full of pain.
‘There’s no shame in leaving,’ I said. ‘It’s completely your choice and we respect that.’
His eyes went wide. ‘How do you know I want to leave?’
‘You’re the fifth student this morning.’
‘Who else … No, it doesn’t matter.’ He dropped his head again. ‘Do you remember what I was like when I first arrived?’
I made a soft sound of amusement. ‘You were a complete tool.’
He grinned. ‘That’s the word for it! Although Mui Linh uses the word “douche”. I can’t believe that stupid car was so important to me. And wearing other people’s names across my chest …’ He shook his head. ‘What was I thinking? I took martial arts purely to kick people’s asses. To feel like a big man by beating people up, by physically …’ He searched for the word.
‘Dominating them,’ I said. ‘It’s the ultimate argument winner, the ultimate proof that you’re better: by violently defeating someone. Back then, it was all around you and it was important. I’m glad you saw through it.’
‘So am I. “Things” were important,’ he said with regret. ‘Competition to have things. I had that damn car, I had designer shit …’ He winced. ‘Sorry, ma’am. Well, I had stuff. Things. And they didn’t make me happy. Showing them off to other people was supposed to make me feel big and important, and maybe it did for like, five minutes, and then the other people walked away.’ He smiled slightly. ‘So I bought more stuff to feel more important. Shinier stuff, gold stuff, more expensive sunglasses … damn.’ He shook his head. ‘I was such a tool.’
‘I have to admit that I was completely astonished when you passed the DN4.’
He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, confused. ‘What’s the DN4? I don’t remember taking any test called that.’
‘You’ll know when I describe it. Back in the first week, you were called out of bed at 4 am and told to report to the mess. Remember?’
‘Oh yeah. There was nobody there, so I waited a while and then realised it was probably Juan’s idea of a bad joke and headed back to the barracks. But there was this girl outside …’ His expression filled with understanding. ‘That was a test?’
‘Anyone who would behave even slightly inappropriately towards a drunk naked woman they found outside the barracks at 4 am isn’t worthy of the Mountain uniform.’
‘I never even thought of that. I just wanted to help her.’ He smiled, remembering. ‘I gave her my T-shirt with the designer name on it.’
‘That was the beginning of you finding out what really makes you important.’
He lit up again. ‘You helped, ma’am. Remember how much I complained when you gave me two first-year students to mentor instead of one? I thought you were picking on me.’
I hissed with laughter. ‘I was.’
‘And then they both moved up and thanked me for helping them — and that was worth more than any name on my chest.’
‘I’m glad.’
‘Anyway, that’s all behind me now. I just wanted to say thank you. But I don’t want to be involved in a war. I don’t want to fight in an army. That’s not me any more; I’m not a soldier.’
‘You have gained so much wisdom in three years, Kenny.’ My voice thickened. ‘I am so damn proud of you.’
He was silent for a long moment, then wiped his eyes. ‘You’re not disappointed?’
‘Of course not. I’ll arrange for someone to take you home, with our blessings, and I hope that you can return when this is all finished, because you are a fine practitioner and a magnificent human being.’
‘I don’t want to go home.’ He saw my confusion. ‘I mean, I do want to leave, but I don’t want to go back there.’ He wiped his eyes again. ‘Is there a monastery somewhere that would take me? Or can I join one of the temples here? I want to continue to help people.’
‘No,’ I said. ‘You’re not ready to withdraw from life. You’re far too young and have a lot of living to do. Maybe when you’re older, but for now: no.’
‘But it’s what I want.’
‘Good. You should go home and be with your family.’
‘They’re abusive fucks,’ he said with venom, then winced again. ‘Sorry. It’s just … they’re not good people. I talked to Master Liu about it, and she agrees with me. If people are toxic then sometimes it’s just best not to be near them.’
I had an inspiration. ‘Okay, then, I have a job for you. The orphans are being moved to a tropical beachside resort in Australia, and we need guards and,’ I smiled slightly, ‘the kids will need “camp counsellors”. I think you’d be perfect for the job.’
He grinned broadly. ‘Seriously?’
‘Leo will be there too.’
He sat straighter, bouncing in his chair. ‘You really mean it? This is true? Wow, ma’am …’ He was wide-eyed with delight. ‘Helping kids? Orphans? On a beach resort?’
Tears st
arted to stream down his face and I handed him the box of tissues.
He ripped a couple out and unselfconsciously wiped his eyes, then blew his nose. ‘Count me in.’
‘Stand up,’ I said sternly.
He jumped to attention, serious but still tearful.
He watched me, nervous, as I rose, walked around the desk and gave him a hug. He was much taller than me and he jerked with surprise, then bent to hug me back.
‘Thanks, Emma,’ he said.
‘Yi Hao,’ I said loudly without letting him go. ‘Contact Brother Chang. Tell him that this young man is to join the orphans in Australia, to help guard and care for them.’ I released Kenny and patted him on the shoulder. ‘You’ll do great.’
Kenny fell to one knee, saluted me, then took some more tissues and went out.
He poked his head back in with a huge grin. ‘You’re the best, Emma.’
I waved him down and went back behind the desk. I thought with regret about what I was doing: war was the ultimate way of winning an argument by force.
I stiffened; John had summoned me exactly the same way the Jade Emperor did, demanding my presence in the war room. I rose and stomped out of my office.
At Yi Hao’s desk I stopped and spoke to her. ‘I’ve been called. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’
I patted Kenny on the back and stormed towards the war room.
Sorry, my mistake, John said. That was just a general summons to some senior Mountain and Heavens staff. We have a difficult decision to make.
I shook my head as I headed towards the war room at a more leisurely pace.
18
The demons had already set up the war room for a meeting. A black and silver embroidered cloth depicting ancient warriors in battle on horseback and on foot covered the conference table. Some of the warriors on the cloth were recognisably John and the Thirty-Six.
John sat in the centre of the group and all of the senior staff were there: the Lius, Martin, Yue Gui, Ma, and even Guan Yu had come from guarding the Gates. I stopped when I saw them all sitting grimly at the table. John gestured for me to join them, sitting at his right hand. I nearly argued about the inappropriateness of him having a low-ranking human concubine at his right hand — a more senior position than both his Number Ones — then decided to leave it. This looked serious; they hadn’t even saluted.
When I was sitting, John opened a scroll and read from it.
‘Supreme Emperor of the Dark Northern Heavens, Celestial Master of the Nine Mysteries, et cetera et cetera, from His Loathsome Majesty King of the Demons and so on.’ He glanced up. ‘I’ll skip the formal bullshit. He wants to give us the treaty at noon today.’ He dropped the scroll and raised his hand. ‘Before you all shout at me for dragging you here when we knew it was noon today anyway: he wants to give us the treaty in person, in his own throne room in Hell, and he will only give it to Emma and myself.
The two of us, and only the two of us, must go there to collect it, otherwise the deal is off.’
There was complete silence.
‘Don’t,’ Meredith said.
‘Are we ready for war now?’ Yue said.
‘Yes, but another two days would be significant,’ Ma said.
‘More significant than losing me?’ John said.
Ma leaned back. ‘Hard to say.’
John spread his hands. ‘That’s why you’re here. Risk me, or go to war now. Choose.’
‘Has he guaranteed our safety?’ I said.
There was a chorus of derisive noises.
‘Yes,’ John said. He indicated around the table. ‘And it’s obvious what everybody thinks of that.’
‘Make the choice, then check the future to see where it leads,’ Liu said.
‘I am,’ John said. His eyes went wide. ‘No.’ He looked around at the gathered Shen. ‘We can’t do this! There has to be some other way.’
‘We must,’ Guan Yu said. ‘We are sworn to protect the Celestial. All of us are. It must be done.’
‘Well?’ I said.
John didn’t reply. He studied the Demon King’s scroll. The other two Generals shifted uncomfortably.
‘Tell me!’ I said. ‘I can’t advise you if I don’t know all the facts.’ Then I realised David Hawkes had said nearly the same thing to me. I looked around the table, then back at John. ‘Dear Lord, it’s really that bad?’
‘We smaller Shen need to know as well, my Lord,’ Meredith said, her voice full of compassion.
John stared into her eyes.
‘Not good enough,’ I said. ‘Out loud. You tell her, you tell me.’
Meredith’s face filled with shock, then dismay. She rose and went out.
‘So we lose,’ I said. ‘Either way, we lose. Which choice gives us a loss with fewer casualties?’
‘No, we may still win,’ John said. ‘If both of us go down and collect the treaty, we could still win this. If we don’t go down there, we will definitely lose. We will lose everything: Hell and the Earthly will be overrun, and Heaven will fall.’
‘Then we go collect the treaty,’ I said. ‘Why the grim faces? We just go get it.’ I understood with an electric shock down to my feet. ‘We lose Lord Xuan.’
‘We aren’t sure of that.’ John fingered the scroll, his face a mask of misery. ‘I cannot be predicted. I am too primal and chaotic.’ He gazed into my eyes. ‘But your future is easy to see.’
‘What?’ I said, glancing around the table at their rigid faces. Nobody said anything. ‘What?’
‘Tell her,’ Ma said, gesturing towards me. ‘She needs to know, my Lord. This is just as much her decision as it is ours. More, even.’
‘No,’ John said.
‘Tell me,’ I said.
John was quiet for a long time, studying the scroll.
‘Only one of you will return,’ Guan Yu eventually said.
‘Which one of us?’
‘That is our choice. Him or you.’
‘If you return with the treaty, he will remain in Hell, joined with the Serpent and imprisoned,’ Ma said.
John put his forehead in his hand.
‘If he is imprisoned, we will lose. That is definite,’ Guan Yu said.
‘So he has to come back with the treaty,’ I said. ‘But without me?’
‘If he returns with the treaty, he will return alone,’ Ma said.
‘So what happens to me?’ I said. ‘They’ll hold me hostage?’
‘You will die,’ Guan Yu said.
Everything blanked out for a minute as the shock of the knowledge hit me, then I pulled myself together. ‘The only way we have a chance is if I die?’
‘Yes,’ Guan Yu said.
‘I will definitely die?’
‘Yes,’ Ma said.
‘So it’s either me or the whole Celestial?’
‘Good,’ Guan Yu said. ‘You understand what’s at stake. Not just the whole Celestial. The Earthly and Hell as well. You, or … everything.’
I dropped my head for a moment, saddened that I didn’t have time to say a proper goodbye to everybody.
Ma spoke, his voice soft and urgent. ‘Please be willing to do this.’
‘Of course I’m willing,’ I said.
John slumped in his seat, still with his face in his hand.
‘You’ll Raise me,’ I said to him. ‘You promised.’
He didn’t move or speak.
‘That is not something we can predict. The Dark Lord is too primal and powerful to foresee; we can only see the future around him,’ Guan Yu said. ‘But if we are to have any chance of winning this war, then you both must go down and collect this treaty, he must return with it, and you will die.’
‘Will you shut the fuck up and stop telling her she has to die!’ John shouted. He spun in his chair and turned away.
‘Is there another option?’ I said.
‘Of course not,’ Ma said. ‘If there is, hurry and think of one. You have less than an hour to be there. But I don’t think even you are that clever.’
‘What does the Jade Emperor say?’
They went silent.
‘We must decide,’ Ma said. ‘He says the decision is obvious but we must make it ourselves.’
‘Seeing into the future isn’t an advantage sometimes, is it?’ I said. ‘We would all sacrifice ourselves in a second if it would keep the Heavens safe.’
‘This is not sacrificing myself. This is sacrificing the one I love,’ John said, still turned away.
‘This is not your sacrifice to make. This is mine,’ I said. ‘You have no say in the matter.’
He spun to face me and glared into my eyes for a long moment without speaking.
‘Thank you for not arguing with me.’ I shrugged. ‘You vowed to Raise me anyway. It will happen.’ I rose. ‘Let the Demon King know that we’ll go down and collect the treaty. I’ll be outside passing my final wishes on to Meredith. You know what needs to be done.’
I kissed the top of John’s head, patted his shoulder, and went out to find Meredith. She was sitting on a bench in the courtyard outside the war room with her head in her hands.
I sat next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. ‘You really shouldn’t let the students see you like this.’
Her voice was hoarse with emotion. ‘Bloody good for them to see that we’re not invincible.’
‘Don’t be so upset at the prospect of losing me. I’m just a friend. You’ve lost thousands of friends over your long life.’
‘You’re more like a daughter, dear,’ she said.
‘He’ll Raise me.’
‘I hope so.’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ‘It’s not just you. There’s a very good chance that we could still lose this war, the Heavens will fall, and everyone we love will be enslaved. Our students and families will be singled out for particular torment.’
‘Losing is not an option. There’s a couple of things I want you to do for me.’
‘Anything.’
‘Call Simone in so I can say goodbye.’
‘She’s already on her way.’ Meredith’s expression filled with wonder. ‘She understands.’
‘Of course she does. Tell my family goodbye, and that I loved them, and that I’m sorry I put them through so much grief. Where’s Leo?’