“Try them out,” he’d said. Not a question. I’d been afraid. Could I even control them? But I never questioned Nik. And he’d said that I would never learn what I was capable of if I didn’t learn to trust my instincts. And so I did. I took a breath, stretched out my wings, and they did the rest.
I tried to explain to Lexi how it had felt, feeling them suddenly come to life, as if they’d been waiting for the opportunity, hearing the sound of them beating furiously in the air for the first time, experiencing the sensation of rising effortlessly into the sky, weightless. I was up high above the roof of the barn and Nik was nothing but a speck. The world below me had disappeared and I was simply flying. Powerful and strong and fearless.
If Nik had called after me or worried about me at all, I never knew it. “All other flying experiences have paled in comparison to that first taste of freedom. Until I met you,” I told her. I liked the thought that she’d been able to be part of that world, even for those brief moments in time.
When evening came, we were ready. We had finished packing, checked and re-checked our route, and counted Lexi’s cash. Just before ten, we crept down the stairs to Eric’s waiting, rusted-out, red four-passenger car. I wondered again why I was going through with this. Of course, I had nothing worth losing anyway. Except Lexi, and I never really had her in the first place.
Eric drove and Lexi sat in the passenger seat beside him. There was no room in the back with me anyway, with my wingspan and necessarily awkward sprawl. I sat in the center of the bench seat, my four wings stretched across the car, filling the space beside me and following the curves of the side window. Anyone looking inside would think we had hung translucent, shimmering curtains—strange, of course, but not nearly as strange as the truth. Eric adjusted the rear view mirror to look at me. “Ready?” he asked.
“Of course.” I gritted my teeth as he repeated his question to Lexi.
“As I’ll ever be,” she said. The car sputtered to life, and he pulled away from the curb.
The city looked different from street level. Congested. Dull, even. As we waited for the light to turn green, I watched an ordinary couple pass by, hands clasped, laughing about something. People were the same everywhere.
That first night’s journey was more arduous than it should have been. Adjusting to the rolling motion of the vehicle was not as easy as I’d assumed, and it didn’t help that Eric’s stereo didn’t work. My wound had been healing better than we’d expected and the absorbable stitches had already started to disappear, so the last thing I wanted to do was reopen it. Even outside the city, surrounded by open space, sleep alluded me. Of course, I didn’t generally sleep at night anyway, so it didn’t surprise me that I spent the first leg of our journey wide-awake. And with the noise of the highway and the wind, it was impossible to hear anything beyond brief snatches of the conversation in the front seat. Their attempts to make small talk with me, therefore, were wasted. Not that I was sure I could say anything intelligible anyway. Riding in a vehicle produced a very different sensation than flying did. They entertained one another by what seemed to be light banter and maybe less than riveting conversation. What did I care, anyway?
I wondered if whatever Eric was scheming was dangerous. Was this a trap? Maybe, like Marcus always feared about every person he met, Eric intended to hand me over to the government for secret testing. I looked at the back of Eric’s head, his shaggy brown hair pressed comfortably against the torn, faded bucket seats. It was unlikely he’d be working for anyone in power. He was undoubtedly planning something though. After some time, as the sunrise began to light the sky, Eric shifted in his seat. “Hey, Man, you hungry?”
“Getting there.” Or at least, I should be. I couldn’t tell, with the rolling motion of the car making me lightheaded and turning my stomach to an ocean.
“There’s a place up here where we could stop. Lexi and I could bring you something.”
I made a sound that I hoped meant I was agreeable.
“Eric says it’s a diner,” Lexi said. “Want something specific or should I surprise you?”
“Surprise me.” I tried not to grimace. As they walked towards the small, off-white diner, I slouched in the back seat and tried not to picture them sharing a plate of hash browns, laughing at some private joke.
When they came out ten minutes later, I’d managed to work myself up into a fairly unfriendly mood, but seeing them return so quickly took the edge from my voice. “Thanks, Lexi,” I told her genuinely as she handed me a breakfast sandwich and slid into her side. Eric slammed his door.
“You’re welcome,” she answered, opening the paper wrapping on hers. “We thought it would be quicker to take it to go. Plus, I didn’t want you to get cold out here.”
“I told her I’d left you the keys,” Eric said. “You could have started the car and let it run.”
“Waste of gas,” she shot back. I heard him sigh heavily as the car sputtered to life. “So,” she asked me over the cough of the engine, “how’s your trip been so far?”
“Amazing,” I replied dryly, and she laughed, catching my meaning.
“I can imagine.”
“And what about you? What have you been chatting about up there?”
“Nothing amazing. Just keeping each other awake. Talking about school and stuff.”
“Do you miss it?”
“Not really. And I guess I’ll go back again someday, to college or something...” She trailed off, not sure how she would finish that sentence. She attempted weakly, “When I figure out what I want to be.”
I didn’t miss a beat. “Obviously a doctor.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. Those stitches aren’t gonna be pretty.”
“Don’t you know? Chicks dig scars. And besides, you saved my life.”
“You’re welcome.” She flipped around in her seat again, as the car continued flying down the highway. I was still sick from the drive. There was no way I could eat this, no matter how nice the sentiment. I reached past my large wing to roll down the window and let the wind take my sandwich. The air funnelled past, filling the car with a cool breeze. Eric closed window and I heard him click the child lock. No fresh air for me.
I watched the sun on the horizon. We had to have been on the road for a good eight hours, maybe more. I didn’t ask about the time though. The thought of another twenty hours cooped up in here was almost unbearable—to have an exact number seemed worse somehow. I leaned back and closed my eyes. Maybe I could sleep. Normally, I’d have been in hours ago and sound asleep by now. If I could just shut out the motion and the highway, I’d be able to relax. A thumping from beneath the car assured me that sleep wasn’t going to be a luxury I’d get to enjoy anytime soon.
“What’s that?” Lexi asked, as Eric pulled the car to the shoulder.
Eric sighed. “Sounds like a flat.” I wished I could see his face. Was this another trick? An opportunity to stop and meet up with someone?
“Do you have a spare?” I asked.
He turned to face me. His forehead creased in a deep frown. “You think I’m an idiot?” Debatable. “Of course I have a spare. I just... it’s just annoying.” The flat was clearly unplanned. But he didn’t like the delay, which affirmed what I already knew. Somebody was expecting us.
“I’d offer to help...” I said.
He rolled his eyes. “Right.” He opened his door. “It’s fine.”
“I could help,” Lexi offered, but he was shaking his head before she finished.
“Ever changed a tire?”
“No.”
“Then you’ll slow me down. No offense.”
“None taken,” she said.
“I’ll be quick,” he said, slamming the door. I settled myself, trying to get as comfortable as I could as I waited.
I heard her shift in her seat. “So, seriously, how’s the drive been for you so far? You didn’t give me a real answer before.”
“Uncomfortable.”
“Bet you
wish you were flying.”
“Sure. But makes more sense for me to be here for now.” I wished I could see past my wings, stretching over the glass of the windows.
“Because you don’t know where we’re headed?”
“Because I can keep an eye on that guy.”
She laughed. The sound was almost musical in the small vehicle. “Eric’s harmless.” She turned in her seat to look at me. “And he saved your life, Joshua.” The car jerked as Eric jacked it up.
“You saved my life.” I corrected her. She raised her eyebrows. I shrugged. “But I guess Eric helped.”
“Right. You really still don’t trust him, hey?”
“I don’t.”
“Then why did you come?” It was a fair question. I wasn’t quite sure I knew the answer.
“I made the front page. Eric’s offer to help me lay low seemed... intriguing. And I didn’t see many other options.” We both knew it wasn’t true, at least the part about the options. There were always choices. Maybe less than ideal ones, but surely better than traveling across the country with someone I didn’t trust—and wasn’t fond of on a personal level either. “And anyway,” I added slowly, “I had nowhere else I needed to be.”
“Fine,” she said. “Why else?”
I stared at her for a moment. “Maybe I wanted to know what he was up to,” I finally admitted. “He clearly knows where we’re going. He has some kind of plan. I want to know what it is.”
“Why don’t you just ask him?”
“Right. Like he’s going to suddenly feel the need for honesty. This seems like the most direct way to get the truth. I just wish you hadn’t insisted on coming.”
She blinked. “Wow. Thanks.” She turned around abruptly, settling back into her seat.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Lexi, you know I didn’t. It’s not that I don’t want you here. It’s just that I don’t know where we’re going. And I don’t trust him. I shouldn’t have let you come, because what if I can’t protect you?”
She laughed again, but this time there was no music in the tone. “First of all, you don’t get to decide where I go. Eric’s running this trip, and he said I could come. So here I am. Second of all, I didn’t ask you to protect me. And I don’t need you to. You say you don’t trust him? All you do is lie to me. Don’t forget how we met.”
“I don’t.” I reached forward and touched her shoulder. She was right, of course. I was a liar and a thief. Or I had been. Now, I didn’t know anything anymore. “It changed my life.” The words were out before I knew I was going to say them. “You changed my life.”
She tilted her head, resting her ear against my fingers. The car jolted as it moved back down. We were out of alone time. It was probably a good thing. I didn’t need any more time to admit to things I had no right to feel in the first place.
Chapter 11
“Miss me?” Eric said with a grin as he swung his lanky frame back into the car.
“Desperately.” She cleared her throat and then smiled lightly at him. “Can I drive the next stretch?”
“Sure. I’ll show you how she drives best,” Eric said. They switched spots and Lexi turned the key. I leaned back. Already, the noise of the car was drowning out their words, but I could see Eric explaining to her how to grasp the gearshift and demonstrating the precise technique needed to pop the clutch. They were laughing. Her brow was furrowed, but she looked relaxed, happy. This was how things should be for her. Not with Eric, of course, but with somebody. She deserved to be happy.
I fought the new motion sickness as she worked to figure out how the gearshift worked, but she eventually got the hang of it. We drove for what felt like an eternity before we turned down a stretch of gravel road and drove a few miles off the main highway. “We’ve been on the road for twelve hours. Just under halfway there. I’m thinking you need to stretch your legs,” Lexi called back to me, “or your wings or something.”
“Lexi...” Eric said, touching her hand.
“That would be great,” I interrupted him. She was right. I was aching to get out of the car. The fact that Eric didn’t want us to stop only intensified the need. Finally, she pulled to a stop and I practically fell out of the car. Solid ground had never felt so beautiful.
I sensed my wings anxious to be in the air. I barely managed to glance around to ensure there were no onlookers before I let them carry me up. The pressure of the wind and the open sky seemed to bring me back to life. Twelve hours in a tiny space like that was too much. “Joshua!” Eric called faintly from below. I knew I would be little more than a spec by now. I was pretty sure he wished I were tethered to his wrist. I was tempted to just keep flying –over the fields, away from Eric with his scheme and Lexi with her inexplicable hold on me.
The sky was so different out here, not only because it was daylight, but because there were no buildings or artificially bright lights. Only sky above and earth below. “Joshua!” Eric’s barely discernible voice beckoned again. I could keep going, but then I’d never know what he wanted with me. And I’d never know that Lexi was safe.
I forced myself back down and, wordlessly, I got into the car. Lexi looked hurt, and I suspected she’d wanted me to offer to take her up. I hadn’t even thought of it. Eric would have been watching us. I wasn’t sure why, but it seemed like it should be something private, something between Lexi and me. Eric took the wheel. As we started our drive, I closed my eyes. It was still morning, but that made it my nighttime, and I was tired of feeling, anyway.
I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next leg of our journey. At one point, they stopped for food but, through my fog of sleep, I declined their offer to bring me some. The road didn’t agree with me. When I finally woke, it was pitch black, aside from our headlights shining down the highway before us. I could hear a quiet, steady breathing and, through the rear-view mirror, I could see Lexi at the wheel and Eric, his head on the passenger side window, sleeping beside her. My movement in the back must have caught her eye because she subtly shifted her gaze and looked at me in the mirror. “Good morning, so to speak.”
“Good morning.” I leaned forward, raising my voice over the sound of the highway.
“Sleep well?”
“Not particularly.”
“Could have fooled me. You were snoring pretty hard back there.”
“Boredom,” I insisted.
“How’s your injury?”
“Good. Can barely feel it now.”
“Mm.” She looked in her rear view mirror again at me. “That’s good. Here, eat something.” She handed back a wrapped sandwich. This time, I ate it. “It’s a good sign,” she said. “It means you’re feeling better.” She was right. I was getting used to the motion of the car and the sound of the highway, although I was still a long way from liking it.
“So, how long until we’re there?” I looked at the dark road in front of her. “We must be getting pretty close.”
“A few hours. It’s just after ten. Eric and I are taking turns now.” I saw her stifle a yawn.
“So, how’d you get stuck on the night shift?”
“Volunteered, of course.”
“Why’s that?”
She looked at me through the mirror again. “Why do you think?”
I shifted and changed the subject abruptly. “Do you think Eric would mind if we pulled over for a few minutes again?”
“He’s not the one driving, is he? Where should I get off?”
I scanned the darkness. My eyes, of course, functioned much better than hers in the dark, and I could see a great deal farther. “You could turn down one of these side roads, if you want. Or you could just pull over along here. There’s hardly any traffic.”
After a moment of indecision, she pulled the car over. I hesitated. Then, I heard myself saying, “Listen. I don’t have a harness with me. But if you trust me, and you’re up for it, I can take you for a quick flight. You know... if you want.” Apparently, I hadn’t regained my sanity. In the middle of
nowhere, on a main highway, with no safety precautions. At least it wasn’t daylight. I was instantly rewarded with one of her childlike grins.
“Of course.” No doubt. We quietly got out of the vehicle. I could imagine Eric’s face if he woke up while we were gone and the scenarios that would run through his head. I hoped that he would wake up and that he’d think we’d flown off together.
Instead, our flight was short. I tried to commit the moment to memory, to take a mental snapshot of the way her arms felt snugged around my waist, clutching the back of my shirt in her fists as if her life depended on it, my arms supporting her weight entirely, and the night sky enveloping us as if we were the only two people in existence. If nothing good ever happened again, I hoped I could remember the way this moment felt, with her body, tight against mine in the cool night air. I knew it would be enough to carry me through.
Too soon, we were back in the car, back on the road, making our way west. Eric was still asleep, and Lexi’s light chatter made the ride bearable. After a few hours, he woke up, and they switched spots. As Eric got back into the driver’s side, he shot a quick glance my way. “Good to see you’re still here. I dreamed you’d up and flown away.”
I forced civility into my voice. “Wouldn’t dream of leaving.” Eric and I both knew that Eric was planning something and lying about his intentions. But he was, at the same time, being entirely himself. He was also obviously enamored with Lexi. I couldn’t blame him for that.
Soon, Lexi’s breathing deepened, a rhythmic hum filling the car. I smiled into the darkness. Finally, she slept.
“She’s kinda something, hey?” Eric asked. I wasn’t sure if he were actually talking to me or simply thinking aloud, so I didn’t answer. “Do you see yourselves together?”
I realized he was addressing me. “What do you mean, together?” I asked, although I was pretty sure I knew.
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