by Dale Mayer
She followed slowly, her mind worrying about her future and her animals.
Her stomach, now devoid of food, cramped tight, and a shakiness worked its way up her legs. Hating the fearful thoughts overwhelming her common sense, she entered the house to find wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. She had no idea when she'd last eaten, but the smells highlighted how empty she was.
She took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Tripod greeted her as always, his comforting yelps of welcome and his soothing, caring energy so happy to see her. She crouched down and hugged him. The love so freely given helped ease the rawness inside. After his boisterous greeting, she straightened and walked over to her father, who appeared to be making chilli. In spite of her worries, her stomach growled.
"Dad, why are you still here?" She hadn't meant it to sound like an accusation but it slipped out that way. There'd been a lot of that in their relationship. Accusations and miscommunication. With her grandfather gone, her father had lost the chance to mend fences with him. But for everything else it meant a whole new day.
Especially for her and her father.
His back stiffened, the only indication that he'd heard her. "The chilli is almost done. Start setting the table, please."
With a look at his blank face, she slowly complied, hating the sense of impending doom.
"Can I help?" Ronin asked. He stepped in front of her, taking the plates from her hands. "I'll put these down. Maybe you could get the rest of the stuff."
She nodded and rushed to the sideboard for the cutlery. She didn't know what was wrong, but something was bothering her father. She wanted to ask him but the words wouldn't come out.
Tripod was underfoot and she accidentally kicked him. He yelped and bounded out of the way. She stopped and leaned her head back. Damn. Sorry, Tripod. She sent him soft, loving, apologetic energy. I didn't mean to hurt you. His response as always was generous and accepting. He whimpered from the side.
She bent and hugged him. "Sorry baby." Tripod and Tango, like all animals, were sensitive to moods and tension, and she'd been the one he was responding to. To her fear, her emotional pit and her energy blocks. The animal in him could do no less than respond. He leaned into her hug, almost knocking her over. She laughed. He woofed and wagged his tail happily.
Feeling better, she stood up and turned around. The table was set and her father had already served dinner.
Ronin held her chair for her – a nice gesture.
She opened her mouth to ask her father about the estate when he said, "Your grandfather's will is a bit convoluted."
Her appetite drained away as he spoke.
"It shouldn't be," she said. "I saw it a couple of months ago." She paused, remembering Stefan's message. "I gave you a box from Grandpa's desk. Full of his papers. Have you been through it yet?"
"No. I took a brief look but it didn't appear to be legal documents, so I left it for later."
"I need to see it," she said abruptly, her gaze sliding to Ronin.
His gaze widened in understanding. "It would be good if we could see that box tonight, if possible. It might have a connection to the break-ins going on at the center."
"Connected to the break-ins? Her father stared at her, open-mouthed, then adding, "Tonight?"
Tabitha nodded. "As soon as possible. There could be something in there regarding the will, too. Maybe it will have the information you need to help out with the estate stuff."
"That would be good." Her father nodded. "He had some bequests for people, but not much in the way of contact information for them."
"And you can't find them?" Ronin asked as he lifted a spoonful of chilli to his mouth.
"Not so far."
"Like who?" Tabitha asked.
"Jumbo. Now a last name would help, for a start."
Tabitha laughed. "That's so Grandpa. I have Jumbo's contact information. If he's still alive." She shrugged. "I haven't seen him in a couple of years."
Her father frowned. "And Chester."
"Chester is another old carny buddy, but I'm pretty sure he died of cancer last summer."
"That's what I mean. How am I supposed to find these people?" her father complained.
"Is that why you're here?" she asked. "To find out about his friends?"
Her father's face lowered and he played with his food. So obviously not. She put her spoon down and looked at him. "What's wrong? Is there something in the will that I'm not going to like?"
His eyes opened wide in shock. "No. Not at all. The house is yours. Exotic Landscape is yours. There's a little cash but…" He looked at her apologetically. "Not much."
She snorted. "That's nothing new." She smirked. Inside she smiled with relief. The place was hers. Thank God. "Grandpa never had much."
Leaning back, she closed her eyes briefly. The panic started to unknot, the band around her chest loosening, and she opened her eyes. "Thanks, I needed to hear that."
With a shake of his head, he smiled reassuringly. "Sorry, I should have made that clear right from the beginning. He had more than you think. I've been trying to get him to invest for years. We'll need to talk about what you want to do with it, but you aren't destitute."
Removing her hand from her heart, she sighed happily. "I have a roof over my head and the animals are safe, so we're good."
"This house needs some work," he said. "A new paint job inside and out. New furniture. I bet the plumbing needs to be updated."
She snorted. "As you said, there isn't much money." She swallowed her mouthful. "Besides I'm, not ready to make changes."
"Don't wait too long. I know you loved him, but it's time to make this space yours and not just live in his house."
She tilted her head. Interesting choice of words. "Is that what you felt, Dad? That it was never your home? That is was always his?"
"It was always his house. I didn't live here long enough to change that."
His words rang true, but there was something more going on here. But what? She knew little about her father's friends, his likes, his dislikes. Except for his business associates like Eric and Germaine. She'd heard a lot about those two. Then her father had a talent for business. He was good at making money, but not at relating to her.
Or she to him.
"You never really felt at home with him," she said intuitively. "The house had nothing to do with it."
His face set and he refused to meet her eyes.
"Why was that? What was so wrong between you two? I get that you don't like animals in the same way as I do, but there's got to be something else there. Something that drove a wedge between you two."
He gave a mocking laugh. "Everything was black and white with him. Right or wrong. His way or the highway." He stabbed the contents of his bowl viciously. "I chose the highway."
Tabitha stared, shocked. She knew the two hadn't been close but hadn't realized the level of animosity. It saddened her. Her grandfather had been everything to her. Her father almost nothing. Why was that?
"Was it me?" If it was, that would make her feel worse, but she'd rather know now. She'd lost her grandfather. She didn't want to lose her father as well.
"What?" He shook his head. "No. Not at all." For the first time since they sat down, he smiled at her warmly. "He was very happy to have you."
"Well, whatever your problem with grandpa was, it's over. He's gone." And damn if she didn't feel the tears collecting in the corner of her eyes again. She sniffled them back. "It's time to make peace with whatever it is and move on."
"That's what I'm hoping to do here and now," her father said without looking up.
She looked at him in surprise, her full spoon halted in midair. "With me? What do I have to do with it?"
She glanced over a Ronin who sat eating quietly across from her. He listened but stayed out of the conversation. That was probably wise. She turned her attention back to her father.
"In a way, everything." He put his spoon down and dabbed his mouth clean. Then he put the nap
kin down. Tabitha slowly put her spoon in her bowl and waited. Whatever this was, it was big. And difficult.
She studied him closely for a long moment. Unable to handle the suspense much longer, she asked, "What's wrong, Dad?"
He took a deep breath, raised his eyes to stare at her and said, "The real reason my father and I never got along..." He gave a short laugh. "We had a huge fight about it. Once he knew the truth...well...I think he honestly hated me." He stopped, glanced at Ronin, then back at her. "I told him..."
She prodded. "Told him what?"
With his gaze locked on her face, he said, "I told him I was gay."
***
As bombshells went, this one was big. Like over the top, completely re-evaluate your life type of big. Ronin kept quiet, but he watched the shock dawn on Tabitha's face. Only it didn't appear to be as big a shock as he might have expected. Had she known? Had she any inkling?
He couldn't image hearing that himself. From a close friend, sure. Even a sibling. But from a parent? Wow. Having no parents himself, he didn't have an understanding of how that relationship would work.
Both Tabitha and Ronin had been raised by their grandfathers. But for different reasons.
The silence at the table grew and he realized that perhaps he should leave. Give them privacy. No one said anything to him. In fact, they were oblivious to his presence, but he felt as if he was in the way. He polished off his chilli and damn, it had been good. He realized he had a perfect excuse.
He stood up and said into the shocked silence, "You cooked, so I'll do the dishes. Tabitha, eat up."
"Don't worry about it, Ronin. I'll do them," Tabitha said, her eyes never leaving her father's face.
He walked over to her side and nudged her plate closer. "No, you won't. One, you should be in bed, and two, you have more important things to work on right now."
Ronin walked to her father's side and collected his empty plate. "Thank you. It was excellent, by the way." Loaded with dishes and silverware, Ronin headed to the kitchen.
Whew. There were some times when people really should be alone.
This was that time for them. And he'd be happy to clean up. He'd seen the kitchen earlier, enough to know that Dennis was a decent cook and cleaned as he went, so whatever washing up that was left would be minimal.
Maybe by the time he was done, they'd have worked through their differences, and they could put their heads together to solve at least some of the problems facing them.
In fact, he wanted action. Not this damn waiting for something to happen. He'd found many leads, but there was nothing concrete. His mind went back to the mess at Tappet's house.
What had the person been looking for? The coroner had the book she'd found in Tappet's boot, but it was in code. She'd sent it to the lab. It would be analyzed, and if there was time, someone would try to decipher the code. All she'd added was that she'd seen a lot of WC listed. That meant nothing to anyone he'd asked. He'd already requested to have the pages scanned and sent to him. With any luck, they would be waiting for him when he logged onto his email.
That wasn't all. This was a busy and frustrating day. He'd already run Fez's name through the databases and come up with nothing.
So far the search for a Timothy, vet or pre-med student, was resulting in a huge list. He needed something to narrow it down. There were just too many to contact personally.
There were so many elements at play. The tiger on the black market connected to Tabitha. The break-ins at Exotic Landscape. The man on the video cameras. If he'd been wanting to release the lynx, why hadn’t he taken them?
If he hadn't wanted them, then why did he bother to cut the pen open?
"Maybe he put something into the pen?" he murmured to himself. Considering that idea, Ronin thought about all the things that could have been slipped into the pen without showing up on the surveillance camera. And dismissed the idea. The staff had searched the pens for the animals, and would have noticed anything majorly different.
He checked the time then called his brother.
"How's Tabitha doing?" Roman asked.
"She can't keep this up. Hell, she was slim before but now she's one step away from being gaunt."
"I can imagine." Through the phone, Ronin could hear his brother sigh. "Okay brother, what do you need?"
"Did you get the security system checked out on Exotic Landscape?"
"I did. There are some uncompleted sections, but that's all part of the new office expansion happening in the back of the building."
Had he heard anything about that? Ronin wasn't sure. "I don't think she wanted everything monitored. She's operating this as a reserve, not a zoo."
"Except she needs to bring in donations to keep the place running, and live web cams bring an audience. That brings in money." Roman continued. "But they also bring in the bottom feeders. These camera feeds clearly show where the animals are located."
Ronin ran his fingers through his hair. "There is decent security, strong fences and as much as most people might want to keep these animals, to go and stealing them is a much bigger step than most of the general public is willing to take."
"And that other level of the world already has suppliers for these animals." Roman's voice deepened. "I'm getting the feeling that the two incidents aren't related."
"So do I. And that just pisses me off. I'm not making any headway on finding Fez or figuring out how Tappet was connected to Tabitha's tiger."
"Black market specialist, Bruce Tappet? What's going on with him?"
Ronin brought his brother up to speed.
"So someone offed Bruce. No surprise there. He was working for Colby."
Ronin's gaze widened. "Winston Colby? Jesus, I forgot about him."
"You don't want to do that. Turn your back on that guy and you'll get you head cut off. "
That's when he remembered Tappet's code book and the multiple WC entries.
Chapter 19
Monday late afternoon
Tabitha stared at her father, shocked, confused...and yes...she felt betrayed. How long had he kept this bottled up inside? Telling her years ago would have helped them both?
She'd been very close to her grandfather, but she'd turned to him because she had no one else. In her heart, she'd wanted her father. But he hadn't wanted her. That had been her belief.
With his disclosure, she felt her whole childhood being flipped. Her surety disintegrating.
He sat across from her, staring at her steadily. Those soft gray eyes willing to accept whatever judgement she'd placed on him.
What he must have gone through.
Her grandfather hadn't been an easy man. In fact he'd been damn hard. Unyielding. And no way in hell would he have accepted his son's sexual orientation.
But times had changed. At least for other people. For her grandfather, his best days had been while he was in the circus. He'd loved the life. Loved the people. When he left the circus community, he'd changed. Or maybe it had happened after Tabitha’s grandmother passed away. In recent years the animals were the only things he'd continued to love and he’d forever reminisced about the good old days.
If her father had grown up in today's world, he'd likely have found acceptance amongst his peers. Forty years ago, the phenomenon hadn't quite started.
"I'm sorry."
His gaze widened. That was obviously not what he'd expected to hear.
Then again, it was not what she'd expected to say.
She took a deep breath and clarified. "I'm sorry that grandfather felt so threatened that he couldn't accept the truth. I'm sorry you felt so threatened you couldn't share the truth with me. And...I'm sorry for me."
Then she added in a soft voice, "I spent a lot of my childhood wondering what was wrong with me that you didn't care enough to be around. What was wrong with me that I was so unlovable? I turned to animals, like Grandpa, because they loved me back. Unlike you."
A horrified sound ripped from his mouth. He leaned forward and covered Tabi
tha’s hands with his and said, "There's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect. You always have been."
"And yet Grandfather raised me. You were never here," she accused, pain rising to the surface. "Ever."
"I couldn't." So concise, so clean, so cold.
She sat back and closed her eyes. "Tell me."
In a halting voice, this man who ran million-dollar corporations shared how hard it was when he told his father. How he'd been kicked out. How he'd been forced to leave the animals he'd loved and never come back. How he'd tried to be straight. How he'd wanted to be normal. And for a little while, he succeeded. With her mother…