If the Shoes Fit

by Pauline Lawless

  They were directed to Intensive Care where Jeffrey and Bart, two of Edward’s close friends were waiting. They both kissed her, hugging her tight.

  “How is he?” Tessa asked tersely, afraid of what they might say.

  “He’s still the same, Tessa, no change,” said Jeffrey.

  “Thank God.” She gave him a grim smile.

  “You can see him, Tessa, if you ring the bell there,” Bart informed her.

  “Where’s Claudia?” Tessa asked as she rang the bell.

  “She’s at home. She said she couldn’t cope with it all,” Jeffrey replied, disapproval written all over his face.

  Tessa said nothing but pursed her lips in anger.

  Just then a nurse came to the door and, when Tessa explained who she was, opened the door to let her in. “And this gentleman?” the nurse asked politely, nodding at Carlo.

  “I’m her husband,” Carlo answered quickly, ignoring Tessa’s look of surprise.

  They were admitted and Tessa started crying gently as she saw how emaciated her father was. She kissed him and held his hand, shocked at how ill he looked. He’d failed so much, even in the week since she’d last seen him. Now he lay pale and lifeless, a shadow of his former self. The only sound in the room was the bleep-bleep of the heart monitor.

  “Daddikins, it’s Tessa,” she said, lapsing back into her childhood name for him. She kept talking to him, non-stop, although it appeared that he couldn’t hear her. She’d read somewhere that even though people were unconscious and didn’t respond to you, it didn’t mean that they couldn’t hear you. She was determined to get through to her father.

  Carlo looked at her with pity, wishing he could do something positive to help.

  “Would you like me to leave?” he asked her.

  “Please stay,” she beseeched him, reaching out to him.

  He stroked her hair, wanting to comfort her. He hoped that his presence was helping her a little.

  They sat by her father’s bedside as Tessa talked and stroked his hand and head. It was three hours later when he finally responded.

  She felt him squeeze her hand.

  “Daddikins, it’s me, Tessa. I love you so much!” she cried. “Please don’t leave me.”

  His eyelids flickered momentarily and he seemed to be making a monumental effort to open his eyes, but he managed it.

  “Love you, Princess,” he whispered hoarsely. “It’s time.”

  His eyes moved to Carlo and he gave a little smile. “Good,” he said, looking back at Tessa, “die happy.”

  The heart monitor suddenly stopped its bleeping.

  “No, Daddikins, no!” she cried, but with a huge sigh he was gone.

  Carlo rang for the nurse.

  When she came in she looked sadly at Tessa. “I’m sorry my dear, but there is nothing we can do for him now. He’s at peace.”

  Carlo folded her in his arms, stroking her hair as she sobbed. Her grief brought tears to his eyes but he was happy to be the shoulder that she cried on.

  He finally persuaded her to leave and Jeffrey and Bart hugged her when they realised that Edward was gone.

  “Would you like us to call Claudia?” Bart asked.

  “I’d appreciate that. I’d better call out to see her,” she said, unable to keep the contempt from her voice.

  Carlo saw the sympathy for Tessa in the two men’s faces and also the underlying disapproval of Edward’s wife. They both went in to say a last goodbye to their dear friend and Tessa asked Carlo if he wouldn’t mind driving her to her childhood home.

  “Of course not,” he replied gently, keeping his arm around her waist as they walked to the car. She was such a tall, confident woman but right now she was like a little girl lost.

  Carlo was unprepared for Gloucester House, the beautiful Georgian house which Tessa called home. As they drove up the long driveway he admired the wonderful horses grazing in the fields.

  “Dad loved it here,” she sighed. “It was his life’s work and his passion. I don’t know what will happen to it now. Claudia has no interest in it aside from entertaining her cronies here.”

  They entered the magnificent house, Carlo taking in the beautiful furniture and paintings. This was the house of someone with exquisite taste.

  “Dad had great taste,” Tessa broke into his thoughts as if she’d read them. “This is all his doing.”

  “It’s beautiful,” he exclaimed, awe in his voice as he looked around.

  She led the way into the grand drawing-room where a number of people had gathered and were talking quietly. Carlo saw a small dark woman, impeccably made-up, hair upswept in a chignon and dressed in a black dress which fitted her petite figure perfectly. She looked like the hostess at an elegant soirée.

  “Tessa, darling,” she said, detaching herself from a group and coming towards Tessa with outstretched arms. She embraced her stepdaughter awkwardly and Tessa had to stop herself from recoiling at her touch. Claudia was so tiny and Tessa so tall that they looked incongruous together.

  “How can I cope with this?” Claudia cried, dabbing at her eyes. “What will I do without your father?”

  “It’s always about you, isn’t it?” Tessa said through gritted teeth, bitterness oozing from every syllable.

  “Not here, darling,” Claudia said quietly, drawing her out of the room into the large hall.

  “My stepmother can’t stand scenes,” Tessa remarked to Carlo, “sure you can’t, Claudia? Which is probably why you missed a very sad scene a short while ago when Dad passed away.” She looked at her stepmother accusingly. “You couldn’t even be with him at the end.”

  “There was no point, dear,” Claudia excused herself. “He was unconscious.”

  “He came round at the end,” Tessa hissed. “And before you ask – no, he didn’t mention you.”

  Her stepmother recoiled a little at the vehemence in Tessa’s voice.

  “Go back to your friends, Claudia. The party must go on, as always.”

  She saw her stepmother go pale as she put her hand up to her throat.

  “I will never forgive you for this,” Tessa continued, her voice breaking, “never, as long as I live. You’re truly on your own now.” She turned on her heel and swept out, Carlo following.

  Looking back Carlo saw Tessa’s stepmother re-enter the salon, a smile on her face, as if the devastating scene had never taken place.

  Chapter 46

  Pete was at his wits’ end. Lesley had become a total nightmare and was ruining his life. Gone was the fun, sexy girl who’d moved in with him. In her place was an argumentative, demanding, jealous witch. He had even tired of the sexual games she demanded night after night and longed for a straightforward, caring relationship with normal loving sex. More and more he was thinking of Amber and how it would have been with her. What a mistake he’d made! Why hadn’t he waited for Amber? Now his problem was how to get rid of Lesley. He didn’t know how he could stick her for another day and yet what choice did he have?

  He was staying out more and more but then he eventually had to face home and the tantrums and screaming match that would ensue. And that was when she was sober! If she’d been drinking, then it became like hell on earth.

  His beautiful pad, which had been his haven of peace, had now been turned into a battle zone. In desperation he enlisted Tim’s help but for once his friend was not willing to help him.

  “I warned you,” was all Tim said. “Maybe this will teach you a lesson.”

  Great! With friends like that, who needed enemies?

  Finally, last weekend, things had come to a head. He’d come home late that night, having downed more pints than usual, to find Lesley practically foaming at the mouth. They’d had an unmerciful row and he’d finally told her to pack her bags and get out. She’d looked at him disbelievingly.

  “You’re not serious?” she’d asked, her big blue eyes wide with hurt.

  “Deadly serious,” he’d replied. “Out!”

  He went into his
office. Some time later he’d heard the door slam and then . . . peace! He couldn’t believe his luck. Coming into the living-room he quickly locked the door, just in case she changed her mind. Plonking down on the sofa he let out a long sigh. Never, never again, he swore. Never would he bring another woman into this place. What a close shave!

  Lesley was livid. How dare he throw her out like a piece of shit – and after she’d been so good to him! She’d even ironed some of his poncy shirts! Maybe she’d been too hasty. Maybe he hadn’t really meant it. She decided that she’d go and stay with her sister for the night, although they couldn’t stand one another, and then tomorrow she’d go back and make up with him. Yes, that’s what she’d do. Let him miss her and the great sex, for one night, and tomorrow he’d be waiting with open arms for her. Yes, let him suffer and he’d be crawling all over her when she went back.

  Amber was beginning to worry. She’d heard nothing from Tessa since she’d had her meeting with Carlo. She’d tried Tessa’s mobile at least ten times and left messages for her but so far had received no reply.

  “Don’t worry,” Luke assured her. “Maybe she and Carlo got it together.”

  “You think so?” Amber said, twirling a curl around her finger. “I hope so. She really fancies him, you know.”

  Luke pulled her close and was just nibbling her ear when her phone rang. Checking the number, she jumped up when she saw it was Tessa.

  “Hi, where’ve you been? I’ve been worried about – what? Oh, Tessa, I’m so, so sorry. Why didn’t you ring me? Oh my God! Where are you now?”

  As Tessa explained, Amber covered the mouthpiece with her hand and whispered to Luke, “Tessa’s father died in Galway today. She’s on her way back from there.” The shock on his face mirrored her feelings.

  After the call, Amber sank down on the sofa and Luke put his arms around her.

  “How awful for poor Tessa,” he said. “Was she with her father when he died?”

  “Yes, thank God. Carlo drove her to Galway and she spoke to her father before he died.” She kissed Luke and added, “Sorry I can’t stay but Tessa will need someone to be with her tonight.”

  “Of course you must go,” he said, kissing her gently.

  “Thank you. I love you,” she told him, slipping into her coat.

  “Love you too,” he replied. “Call me if you need me.”

  It had been a shattering day and an emotional one too, thought Carlo. On the drive home from Galway, Tessa had opened up to him about her childhood and he understood now just why she’d been so angry with her stepmother. The more he heard of Tessa’s life story, the more he admired her. He was happy when she finally fell asleep and he tried to drive as smoothly as possible so as not to wake her. She woke with a start as he pulled up in front of the apartment.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop off,” she apologised, flustered. “God, I must look a mess,” she added, smoothing her hair.

  “You look beautiful,” he smiled at her.

  “Carlo, I can’t ever thank you enough and –”

  “Don’t say another word,” he said gently, reaching forward to stroke her hair. “I’m glad I was able to be with you today. I have to fly to Rome in the morning but if you need me I can be on the next flight back here.”

  His kindness touched her and she felt the tears starting again. He reached over and kissed her cheek, tasting the salt of her tears. “Have a good sleep and I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, getting out of the car to open her door for her.

  “Goodnight, carissima.”

  She went up in the lift touching her cheek where he’d kissed her. She was so confused with everything that had happened that she was afraid to read anything into it. He was probably just being kind.

  Amber hugged her and sat her down to eat the supper she’d prepared for her. To Tessa’s surprise she was ravenous and wolfed it down. Then after soaking in the bath that Amber ran for her, she fell into bed exhausted to dream of her father and Carlo, the two men she loved most in the world.

  Lesley arrived back at Pete’s apartment the following evening. She’d had a dreadful row with her sister, Yvonne – what’s new, she thought – and was looking forward to seeing Pete again. She was feeling really hot for him now after a night without him and was wearing her black leather underwear as a special treat for him. It would be one of those nights! She tried her key in the door and was surprised when it wouldn’t open. She rang the bell. No reply. She began to have a scary feeling in her stomach. She rang his mobile and was relieved when he answered. Time to eat humble pie, she decided.

  “Pete, honey, I’m so sorry –” she began, but that’s as far as she got.

  “It’s no good, Lesley,” he said. “Sorry won’t cut it, I’m afraid.”

  “I can’t get into the apartment!” she wailed.

  “That’s because I’ve had the locks changed.”

  “Oh babe, I’ve missed you,” she said, in her best little girl voice.

  “Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to go on missing me, Lesley. It’s over. Finished,” he said in his coldest voice.

  She resorted to the only ploy she had left. “I’m so hot for you, babe. I’m wearing my –”

  “I don’t give a damn what you’re wearing. Just give me an address where I can send your things. I don’t ever want to have anything to do with you again.”

  And with that, he hung up.

  He realised what an ass he’d made of himself. Now he’d probably have to change his mobile number. Lesley wasn’t the type to let go easily. He’d also probably have to cut his ties with If the Shoes Fit. He couldn’t very well stay on if it meant bumping into Lesley all the time. He’d really miss all that. Well, that was the price he’d have to pay for his stupidity. Tim was right. It was time to settle down. He must give Amber a ring when this was all settled. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too busy now to see him.

  Lesley was distraught. He was really a louse. After all she’d given him! Where could she go now? Not back to Yvonne’s, that’s for sure. Yvonne had told her never to darken her door again. Maybe she shouldn’t have called her all those names . . . Well, there was only one thing for it – she’d have to go back to Paul. She was sure he’d be delighted to have her back and in a way it suited her better. She’d have the garage again to store her orders now that Yvonne’s was no longer available. Yes. That’s what she’d do.

  She pulled up outside her old house, checking her make-up in the mirror and fixing her hair. Not that she ever gave a damn how she looked for Paul – but better to make an effort, just in case.

  She opened the door gingerly, calling out, “Hey, babe, I’m home,” as if she’d just been gone for a couple of hours, not three weeks. At least he hadn’t changed the locks! There was no reply.

  She crept into the living-room, thinking that he was probably engrossed in some sport on television. He was engrossed all right – but the sport was sex. Lesley took in the sight of female legs wrapped around her husband’s naked butt.

  “What the hell!” she cried, as she belted him on his very vulnerable rear.

  “Ouch!” he yelled, jumping up in pain. “Give over!”

  It was then that she saw the owner of the legs. “Val! What the fuck are you doing here screwing my husband?” she yelled.

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” Paul yelled back at her. “We’re a couple now.”

  She didn’t know what surprised her more, the fact that he’d said he was with Val or the fact that he’d shouted at her. She felt that her whole world had turned upside down. Nothing was working out the way that she’d planned it.

  She sank down on the armchair, finally finding her voice.

  “What do you mean you’re ‘a couple’?” she asked him, her voice coming out in a squeak.

  Val finally spoke, grinning wickedly. “He means that I’ve moved in here now.”

  Lesley wanted to punch her and wipe that smirk off her face.

  “What about me?’ she asked her h
usband.

  “What about you?” Paul replied.

  “Where am I supposed to live?” Lesley looked at him appealingly.

  “With your lover boy – or has he turfed you out already?” He saw from the look in her eyes that this was exactly what had happened. “He saw through you pretty quickly, then. Now if you don’t mind, you interrupted us at a very bad moment.”

  Val smirked at her again.

  “You little tramp!” Lesley hissed at her. “You’ll never last here.” Turning to Paul she tried to cajole him. “Paul, babe, I have nowhere to stay tonight and after all this is my home.”

  “Well, if Val doesn’t mind you can sleep in the spare room.” He turned to Val. “Is that okay with you, honey?”

  “Sure, why not?” Val replied, enjoying every moment of this crazy scenario. “As long as she leaves us alone now,” she added.

  “You heard the lady,” Paul said, returning his attentions to Val.

  With gritted teeth Lesley turned on her heel, not able to watch any more. “Lady, my arse,” she muttered as she slammed the door and marched up to the spare room.

  Chapter 47

  Niamh was feeling stronger every day but Gavin was still clucking over her like a mother hen, insisting that she put her feet up and keeping the kids away when she was resting. Her mother was, as always, a great help and between the two of them she felt cared for and cosseted.

  A nurse, Moira, came every day to change her dressings and was surprised by how quickly Niamh was recovering.

  “My, but you’re a strong wee lassie,” she’d said in her Scottish brogue. She agreed that it was good for Niamh to walk about a little and told Gavin this.

  “Yes, but she wants to start back to work next week,” he complained.

  “Well, that might be no harm,” Moira said, “as long as she takes it easy. Niamh tells me that she can work from home and it would keep her occupied. No driving of course,” she added, “until that wrist is better.”