by Erin R Flynn
My temper didn’t spark enough that I did anything stupid, like wander off into the campus woods alone when my guards were at a meeting and so was Mel. I did learn from my mistakes or lapses… Or so I told myself.
Instead, I went to the training center. I doubted Coach Khan would be around, given he was lazy as fuck, and most of the other faculty were in meetings. Campus wasn’t really even open yet, so it seemed the perfect place.
I took off my boots and socks before taking out my sword. I didn’t want to risk scuffing the gym floor that I would have to handle later and get annoyed again. Plus, the boots weren’t the best to wear while going through drills. Colton had been working with me once a week through the summer, and I practiced more than that, so it was easy to switch gears into what I knew.
It was a good hour before I needed to stop and by then, I’d worked out more than enough of what was in my head. I’d also come to a few decisions, including taking better care of myself like Izzy had said.
The whole summer had been work and studying and more stress. No fun. Okay, that wasn’t fair, as we’d had a lot of fun eating all over Japan and at the pool… But none of that typical college kid fun. And given how ridiculously bad my last attempt went to have college kid fun, I needed a redo. Something simpler.
Something Izzy and I would enjoy. It actually had me smiling as I arrived back to our room.
“We’re going out tonight,” I announced as I walked inside.
She frowned. “Where?”
“A nightclub. We’re going dancing.”
She shook her head. “No, we’re not going to the supe clubs. That’s just—”
“One, I didn’t know there were supe clubs, so I need the info on that. Two, I meant human a one. I’ve got a fake ID, and we can get you one with magic.” It was my turn to shake my head. “We’ll be safe. Mel will come with. We’ll take Zack and Ray and act like they’re our boyfriends or something. No one will notice if we slip into a busy human nightclub and onto the dance floor.”
She worried her lower lip and I knew I had her. “I have always wanted to go. I could ask a woman to dance if it was a human one.”
“Sure you could!” I agreed, excited now. “We go to New York and no one will care. I’ve had women ask me to dance and everyone’s mostly cool, so people are polite if it’s not their thing. We don’t even have to go long.”
That broke the rest of her resolve. “Yeah, like an hour. Yeah, we can do that. We’ll be safe. We’ve been super safe.”
“Exactly.”
We were plotting as we unpacked when Mel swung by. At first she was against it, but then I suggested inviting a few of her cousins, assuring her we wouldn’t stay long.
“Mel, I’ve been in lots of dangerous situations where I was being pursued and someone hot on my ass and still handled it fine. Even the Underground won’t blast into a human nightclub on a report someone saw me. And what are the chances someone really sees me?”
She snorted. “With your luck? High, but I know if you can’t ever fly, you run. Fine, I’ll see who can come for an hour or two, no more. We do it safe.”
“Always.” It wasn’t hard to agree with that, given there were a lot of threats against me, and they were real.
After that, it was a rush to unpack, unload when Marshall arrived, coordinate, and get ready. Marshall and Sean opted to go with and pretend to be the dates of a few of Mel’s cousins. Part of me wondered if that pretending was for me, as I was pretty sure Sean had a huge thing for Avril.
But it wasn’t my business.
I ended up picking out a super sexy black dress that was one of the co-op’s possible designs. It was a short slant skirt that barely covered my ass cheek on the right and went down to past my knees on the left. The top wrapped around my neck and had a lot cut out almost to my belly button and on the back. Normally I wouldn’t think of it given I had big breasts… But there was a rune for that.
Yeah, really.
It was like a magical bra, but not everyone could pull off the rune, so I understood why witches still bought bras. However, it was nothing for a few hours.
Izzy demanded to do my hair and makeup since we were going all out. I really liked the dress, so she also took some promo shots for the co-op once I had put on strappy high heels as well. Even I had to admit I looked smoking, the fat braid she had done with my hair that had curls falling out all over the place pushed me over the edge for sure.
And the guys seemed to agree from the way they were cursing under their breaths, as if the only possible problem tonight would be the Underground.
Twits. Who said I was going to dance alone?
We went to some hole-in-the-wall, fabulous burger joint for a late dinner and stuffed our faces before Mel got us to the right portal close to the club. It was then that Izzy realized she didn’t have an ID to get in, but Mel simply snorted and handed her the fake one we’d long since set up for her.
Of course, we had a bailout ready for her as well. Silly woman.
The moment I felt the bass thumping after we paid cover, tension and stress I didn’t even realize were there started melting away. Mel and I dragged Izzy right out onto the floor. We put her in the middle and turned on just about every straight guy there, grinding on her and having fun.
A finger tapped me on the shoulder, and a guy asked me to dance. After checking Mel and Izzy were fine, I accepted.
The music was great, and I had fun dancing, but he wouldn’t keep his hands to himself, way over the line, so after the third time shoving him off of me, I ditched him. There was another guy waiting to take his place, which was the best part of clubs. This one was respectful, but didn’t have much of a beat or any clue what he was doing.
I liked adorably clueless though, so I helped him out until he needed a break. I saw Izzy and Mel wanting to take one too, so we went to the bar and got water. They wanted more time, but I chugged mine and went right back in, finding someone else to dance with.
But four guys who wanted more than to dance found me as well.
I spun around and moved my back to my partner’s chest and locked gazes with Darby… Then Lucca, Hudson, and finally, Craftsman. What was with them being together again? Were they a new boy band?
That thought amused me and I snorted. It also amused me that they looked pissed that I was dancing with a guy and having fun. Fuck them.
I smirked at them and looped my arms back around the guy’s neck, letting him pull me closer.
“You’re getting friendly,” he chuckled in my ear.
I turned my head and pressed my lips against his ear. “Don’t get the wrong idea. You’re not getting anything but dancing from me, but I’ve got some exes over there who aren’t happy. I’m just reminding them that I’m not theirs, but mine and I do what I want.”
“We should make sure the message is clear,” he kindly offered, moving his hand from my hip and up my stomach.
I stopped him when he almost reached my breast. “Behave, or I break your hand.”
“Okay then,” he drawled, sounding like he didn’t believe I could in the slightest.
Idiot. More and more women were learning basics to keep themselves safe. Men assuming women were nothing but prey would be their downfall.
I did grind my ass into his groin more, knowing full well the four of them could see it. It was their fault for following me and trying to make some statement.
Actually, I didn’t even want to engage with them. I turned and moved my leg in between the guys, him getting the idea and dancing the way I wanted. He gladly did it and was very happy to be there.
Someone else moved behind me and pressed against me. I was just about to tell them to fuck off, but I knew that body and who it was even before he spoke.
“Dance with me, agra,” Darby breathed in my ear. “Dance with us, not these guys.”
I closed my eyes and fought against the desire to simply give in, lean into him, and enjoy dancing with him like I missed so much. No, we were done. I
wasn’t doing this. I pulled away and went to take my partner to a different area on the floor… But in those seconds of internal debate, my partner was gone, and Craftsman was now there.
His deep emerald green eyes were as beautiful as I remembered… And looking into them this close nearly killed me, because it made me think of all the times I had before.
He saw the pain or grief in my aura and flinched, reaching for me, but I quickly turned around. Darby was easier to deal with than Craftsman.
But I couldn’t look at him either.
Instead, my gaze caught Mel laying into Hudson and Lucca, who both looked annoyed they were hanging on the sidelines. I knew large men could dance, so that wasn’t the problem. Large men who were dragons and bear shifters weren’t meant for the dancing at a nightclub. Formal? Sure, I’d seen both of them waltz, and they did it well.
Not much else though.
“You look breathtaking, love,” Craftsman breathed in my ear.
I didn’t even realize I was throwing an elbow until he grunted. I shoved at Darby’s chest, but he didn’t move.
“We’ll dance all night, as much as you want, agra,” he said when I tried to escape again. “But we’re not letting other guys touch you.”
“Even if we were still dating, I could dance with who I wanted,” I snapped. “You never owned me. We respected—I thought we had respected each other—but clearly not. At least have enough respect for yourself to not become a stalker.”
He flinched, and I was glad at least he heard me they were going to far. I tried to get away from him, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, spinning us away from Craftsman.
“I would never try to own you,” he choked out.
I mentally winced, not having meant to throw salt in our wounds by implying he really did date me to continue his family’s “business” of branding fairies and using them like blood cows. I opened my mouth to clarify, but a body pressed against my back, and my heart hurt as I knew it was Craftsman, recognizing him like that too.
“Let me go,” I demanded, my voice cracking.
“I can’t,” Darby rasped, lowering his forehead to mine. “You know it was real, we were real, and my feelings for you. I gave you the time you—”
I shoved him hard enough he stumbled into other people. I couldn’t hold back my sneer. “Don’t act like you were nice and let me take a break. I ended our relationship, and none of you fought me. Did you call and say you didn’t want to break up? I missed the months of you trying to win me back?”
He apologized to the people he had bumped and came closer. “You blocked my number. You blocked all our numbers. You went and stayed in there that night. We were scared you might not come back.” His voice cracked that time, and I realized he was serious.
Wow. I hadn’t known people thought I might stay in Faerie after what Collins did to me. I couldn’t have survived without anything to eat, but they didn’t know that. I mean, plants and vegetation were coming back now, but months ago, there was only grass. So staying there for good wasn’t an option yet.
“I wrote letters that I begged Melody to give to you,” he pushed when I got lost in my head. “I tried to talk to you a lot before school ended. You kept telling me to go away, leave you alone, and I owed you the space you wanted. I thought I deserved a real conversation before you would truly dump me.”
That wasn’t unfair, but the situation was so fucked up, it wasn’t fair either. I yanked away from Craftsman and stood so I could face them both, staring at Darby’s chest. “You’re not wrong, but things went epically bad—and you know I think people overuse that word—that there was no normal or—what could really have been said? I think there are lines that, when crossed, it’s just over.”
“You’re not wrong, and I can’t even imagine how bad it was for you. It was for me too though, Tamsin. You weren’t the only one who suffered that night, and I was on your side. We were both hurt and taken. I’m still on your side.”
“Are you?” I cut in. “I needed tonight to have fun. I needed it, because seeing you guys hurts me. I needed it, because all I’ve done is work all summer, and I’m tired. I’m exhausted, and I just wanted a night to let go before the next round of too much. But you’re all here because you don’t want me dancing with other guys or… I don’t even know, but not because it’s what’s best for me.”
“We were worried about your safety,” Craftsman argued.
I couldn’t even look at him. I couldn’t even speak to him.
And I wasn’t going to try. I turned away from them both and got lost in the crowd, using a barrier and shadows without even thinking about it.
“She’s gone,” Zack yelled over, searching for me. “Fuck. I’m going to pound those assholes. She fled.”
I pulled off my magic and grabbed his arm. “I didn’t. I’m here. Sorry.”
He yanked me into a hug, kissing my hair. “I get it, kid. It’s fine, you default to it now, which is good. I got scared we failed you again.”
“I thought they had mates?” Hudson shouted from behind me.
“They do, and they’re MIA, so don’t be a dick,” Izzy blasted. “I don’t care you’re the prince like Mel does. Right now, you’re just one of the dickheads hurting my friend. I was on your side to make amends because I thought you could make her happy, but coming here tonight to pee around her was shitty. We weren’t doing anything wrong.”
“I’m sorry I ruined our night,” I grumbled. “I’ll go; you guys stay.”
“We came for food and to see you have fun. I do not dance,” Zack promised me, Ray snorting behind him. “You guys staying?”
“No, we’re coming,” Mel answered, her voice icy.
“Wait, we didn’t want you to leave,” Lucca called over. “Come on, don’t go. We didn’t mean to—”
“Shut up, Lucca,” Izzy snapped. “All of you just shut up. You didn’t even fight for her. You let her think you were done too for months when you know she’s got abandonment issues, and now suddenly give a shit after her sexy photo shoot and she’ll be back at school? I don’t like any of you anymore!”
That sounded almost childish to say, but Izzy was so nice and sweet that it would hurt worse than all the foul language and insults in the world. She was almost on the level of the hobgoblins, where you might cry if they hated you.
“Agra, please, we just—” Darby tried again.
“Gang up on her,” Ray snarled. “Your new ploy is to gang up on her because none of us would help you see her. She dumped you. Accept that.”
Everyone must have joined us and gotten their stuff because Zack quickly led us to the door. My ears rang from the music once we were outside, Marshall leading the way to the public portal.
“Move or we will make you move,” Zack growled, making me finally raise my head. Hudson had moved in front of our group, and people looked ready to throw down.
“You know some of this is instinct,” he snarled, chuffing because his dragon was riding him. He met me gaze and winced. “Other men are taking you away from River and I. I know I deserve as much, but I walked in to find a strange man with his hand on your ass, and you won’t even see River. I’m trying to keep control, and you said you needed time. I gave it. Tell me what to do.”
I opened my mouth to say I wouldn’t ever be with him, but remembered what his parents had begged me before, and how his mate denying him would make him go feral. No matter how hurt I was, I didn’t want that either. I didn’t think there was any world in which I could ever be with him, but I would die if Hudson went feral.
“I’ll come meet River in the dragon territory tomorrow for lunch. You can’t just expect a pass, or forgiveness, because of what we are. I don’t deserve that, just because fate decided something for me, and you didn’t respect me. You need to come up with a game plan so your parents’ fears aren’t ever realized.”
He swallowed loudly, understanding I was telling him to figure a way not to go feral. He looked pale and ill as it sunk in,
but then he shook his head. “I can make this better. I can fix this and show you fate was right.”
I felt my lower lip quiver. “But I don’t want you to.” I moved past Zack and shoved Hudson out of our way, energy dancing all over my skin, trying to bring us together.
He was faster than I could get away from him, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer. He leaned down so our foreheads touched. “Fuck fate then. I will show you what we had was real, I was real with you. I fucked up, but it was not my lack of respect for you. I cared, you know I did.”
“I can’t—”
“You deserve it,” he whispered. “You deserve to stop feeling so much pain.” He swallowed loudly. “Even if you never let me be with you again or grow what we had, I’d still do it. You deserve to know the truth and how I felt—still feel, and I will show you, because words won’t do when I messed up everything by not saying what I should.”
Well damn. Like dayumn. My heart fluttered, and for a second, I almost wanted to say I hoped he could really pull it off.
But I didn’t think it was possible for anyone, not just him. Too much had happened and damage done.
Instead, I decided to say something I knew would at least help him keep control, since he needed to. His family kept people safe, and they couldn’t afford the problems his losing control would have.
“River, I wasn’t doing anything bad,” I whispered. “I’m not looking for another mate. I hurt, and I went to have fun and dance. I’m free to do what I want, and you have to let me fly when I need to. I deserve that. I deserve to pick my mate and if the time is ever right, to mate, not have one forced on me.”
“He’s sorry,” Hudson mumbled. “That makes more sense to him. He didn’t want to give you space, and maybe he was right that I made the wrong decision. I thought I was doing what was best by you. I want to do what’s right so badly, Tamsin, but I just don’t know what makes it worse or helps.”