by K. L. Myers
Sean stands and stretches, placing his hands on his lower back, and arches forward. “Fucking chair is so uncomfortable,” he complains, then continues, “Sounds like you and Rocky have it all under control. I’ll do whatever you need me to. I’m in.”
I laugh for a minute. “I thought that was your favorite chair. If it’s so uncomfortable, why do you sit in it all the time?”
Sean clasps my shoulder. “Simple, CJ, Patricia bought it for me on our anniversary. I hate the damn thing, but I’d never tell her that. She put a lot of thought and love into that purchase, and no matter how uncomfortable it is, I’ll tolerate it because I love her. That’s what you do for someone you love. You take the good and the bad and love them regardless. You might want to think about that.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Sean? You know how I hate it when any of you talk in riddles,” I say as I follow him to the front door.
“Someday, you’ll figure it out, CJ, but until then,”—he opens the front door—“get out. You were late, and I have plans for the rest of the day that you are making me late for. See ya, buddy.”
For three days, I’ve tried to come up with the perfect way to see Kayla, but nothing came to mind. Let’s face it; I’m downright scared she’ll slam the door in my face. I’m not afraid of anything, but when it comes to her, I’m absolutely terrified. I’ve had more arguments with the voice in my head than I care to admit. Every suggestion I come up with, he immediately shoots down, only confirming that when it comes to Kayla Marshall, I’m not a Rock God but just an ordinary man. My fame and fortune don’t impress her like they do most women, and without that, what do I have to offer her?
Day after day, I try to find what is it that I can possibly offer Kayla. I’m nothing special. As a child, I was a confused and lost boy who believed that love was nothing and happily ever afters didn’t exist. As a man, I still held those same beliefs until my mom set me straight. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone who wasn’t just sexual gratification, and even then I was selfish about my needs and avoided anything that would let a woman believe she could ever be anything more than a one-night stand. I’ve never put a woman above myself, and I’ve shied away from anything remotely similar to commitment. Now, I want everything I never believed in until I met Kayla. These are the things I ponder for weeks as I find the strength inside myself to know I can be everything she needs and I’m willing to do anything it takes to show her. As luck would have it, Kayla is doing a book signing at a local store in Phoenix called The Blazing Book Bar. I didn’t even know we had such a place, but it exists. It’s a combination of a bookstore, wine bar, and small restaurant all in one, and in two weeks, Kayla will be there promoting the release of her book in paperback and signing autographs. This is my one chance to see her and talk to her again. That gives me two weeks to figure out what to say to her, and two weeks after to make her mine before I leave for a month to tour abroad. If all goes well, by the time we get back to the USA, I’ll be able to convince her to travel with us for three months before we hit the Asian portion of our tour and I’ll be gone again for another two months.
When I enter the room, Kayla is standing at a microphone talking about ‘Love’s Lost Melody.’ She is breathtakingly beautiful dressed in a sleeveless pale blue dress that ends mid-thigh. I’m so mesmerized that I don’t even hear a word she’s saying. I just stand there watching her. Her lips are moving, but I can’t hear anything over the beating of my heart. I make sure to stay out of sight for fear she will have me thrown out of the place if she sees me.
When she asks if the audience has any questions about the book, hands are raised throughout the room. Kayla calls out to a young girl probably in her early twenties sitting in the second row.
“Hi, my name is Talley, and my question is, why didn’t Lara ever tell Richie how she felt? Did you even think of writing the book from that perspective? I’ve read all your books, and they always end with the couple finding themselves together. This is the first book where I was sad at the end.”
My heart speeds up even faster as I wait to hear what Kayla has to say. “Nice to meet you, Talley, and thank you for being a loyal fan. Honestly, I never saw a happy ending for this couple. Lara was too afraid to tell Richie how she felt. She knew she meant nothing to him, and he was always so sure that love never occurred in real life, so in my mind, she didn’t see a reason to make a fool of herself.”
Quickly, Kayla moves on to the next hand raised that belongs to a man sitting next to an older woman located halfway into the seating area. “Yes, sir, what is your question?”
The man clears his throat before he speaks. You can tell by his body language that he is a little uneasy. “I read this story with my girlfriend.” He looks over at the woman sitting next to him. “She’s a huge fan, by the way, but we have different perspectives on the two characters. I actually think Lara was the weak one in the story, not Richie.”
Gasps come from all over the room, and a few rude comments are made before he has a chance to finish. “Hold up, ladies, don’t castrate me just yet.” A few laughs echo around him. “Why does it always have to be the man who chases after the woman? If Lara was so in love with Richie and was brokenhearted, why not just tell him so? What’s the worst thing that would happen? He would deny having the same feelings, and she would be no worse off than she currently was, but at least she’d know there was no hope? What if he professed that he felt the same way and was too afraid to say so himself? Wouldn’t they have been able to overcome their hurdles and be together, then?”
Heads begin nodding all around the man, and Kayla’s face shows that she is contemplating what he said. After a few moments, she speaks up. “I guess you could be right, sir. Maybe she was too afraid to find out the answer, and if she was stronger and actually asked the question, the ending could have been different. But as luck would have it, the book is already finished, and the ending is the ending. Maybe I should add you to my beta staff.” Laughter erupts throughout the room at Kayla’s comment.
Several more minutes of Q&A continue before attendants start filing everyone into a line to have their books autographed. A hand appears in front of me holding a copy of ‘Love’s Lost Melody.’ “You’re not as inconspicuous as you think, son. Now, take this and go have her sign it. Say hello and be nice.”
I should have known that my mom would be here. “Thanks, Mom, but I think I’ll pass. I just wanted to see how the book release went.”
With a slap to the back of my head, I stumble forward. “CJ, you are a complete idiot if you think your mother is so naïve as to why you are really here. Take the damn book and say hello. In fact, stay put right here, and you can get her to sign it when she goes into the back room after everyone leaves. I’ll let Patricia know.”
“Why the fuck is everyone always slapping me over the head these days?” I ask while my hand rubs away the sting still remaining on my skull.
Without hesitation, Mom responds, “Apparently, because we all know what an idiot you’re being and you’re the only one who is too blind to see it. Now, do as I say before I slap you again.”
I stand out of sight as I watch my mom walk over to Patricia and whisper in her ear. Patricia’s eyes glance in my direction, spotting me, and then she smiles from ear to ear. The line of readers dwindles down slowly, and the longer I stand waiting, the more uneasy I begin to feel about my decision to come here tonight. Just about the time I decide to make a run for it, Mom curls her finger at me, telling me she wants me front and center. Shaking my head, I mouth the words “never mind” to her, but she is having none of it. Mom’s hands go to her hips as she mouths the word “NOW.”
Feeling like a five-year-old child being scolded, I slowly saunter over to where my mom is standing, book in hand. Mom quickly laces her arm through mine and starts pulling me toward the back room, where I see Kayla standing with her back to me, talking to Patricia.
“Kayla,” Mom says, “you have one more book to sign. Oh, an
d Pat, can you help me clean up out here, please?”
Kayla turns, and her eyes meet mine. Those beautiful hazel eyes lock with mine and grow the size of quarters. Kayla’s mouth opens and closes like a fish gasping for air. Both Pat and my mother left the room, and I know it is now or never if I’m going to get a chance to talk to her.
“Hi,” I stammer quietly then clear my throat and start again. “Hi, beautiful, care to autograph a book for me?”
Kayla doesn’t acknowledge my presence; she just stands there and looks right through me. A sick feeling churns in my gut as I stand there and stare back in silence.
Chapter 9
Kayla
The last person I ever expected to see at this event was Cayson. I have pretty much written off ever seeing him again in my book. To say I am surprised is an understatement. Excited and wet would be more accurate. My body betrays me and my heart. I stand there looking at him, drinking in his deep blue eyes, the color of sapphires. His wavy brown hair rests on his shoulders. Those shoulders are the ones I clawed my fingernails into the day he had me shaking and screaming out his name. My thighs press together to quell the excitement that is building between them. Taking a deep breath and letting it go, I speak.
“Wow, what a surprise, Cayson. I never thought I’d see you here. How are you doing?”
Without hesitation, Cayson strides over to me. The book he’s holding, my book, falls from his hand and lands on the floor. As I look down at it, his hands clasp my face, raising it until our eyes meet and his mouth presses to mine. His lips are soft and tender the way I remember them. A moan quietly leaks from my mouth as my lips part, giving him the access he wants. His tongue darts between my lips, finding my tongue and twirling around. Our kiss becomes desperate and claiming, speaking volumes without saying words. When Cayson breaks it and steps back, I just stand there, lost in the moment and craving more.
I watch him slowly crouch down before me, picking up the book he dropped. A smile spreads across his lips as his left hand rises to my face, his thumb stroking across my cheek. “I’ve missed you, Kayla. I’ve dreamt about kissing you again since that day you left.” His lips softly cover mine again for a brief moment before he pulls back again, yet I just stand there like a statue looking into those sexy-as-fuck eyes of his.
I thought I was over the emotional baggage I’ve been dragging around with me for months now, but apparently, I was wrong. My eyes become moist, tears pooling and then slowly leaking from the corner and rolling down my face. I still can’t move. I just stand there looking at Cayson, in shock that he’s here before me, and remembering the feel of his lips on mine once again.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as his thumbs brush away my tears and his lips place tiny kisses on my forehead first, then down my nose, and finally settling on my mouth. Again, the kiss is gentle and tender before he pulls away.
“I’ve missed you, Kayla, more than you know. I read your book, and I didn’t like how it ended,” he says.
“Of course you didn’t like it. You told me how you felt about my books when we first met.” Anger overtakes the lust I was feeling. I may have lost my sanity for a brief moment, but that won’t happen again. “Like I asked before, Cayson, why are you here? Don’t you have someplace you’d rather be? Like maybe balls deep in some bimbo.”
Shit, I know the minute I let the words fall from my lips that I just gave away my cards. I see the look in Cayson’s eyes the minute he realizes I’m jealous and nursing a broken heart. I’m an amateur when it comes to hiding matters of the heart, and I just proved it to him.
“I had to see you, Kayla. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve missed you, and I didn’t mean I didn’t like your book; I meant I didn't like the ending.”
“You mean you missed my pussy, Cayson? Because the last time I saw you, you couldn’t get your clothes on fast enough to get away from me.” My voice cracks as I say the words. My hands tremble as I try to stand my ground and act as if he has no effect on me whatsoever.
“No, Kayla, you’ve got that all wrong. I wasn’t running away. I was trying to protect you from anyone knowing what we had been doing. I wasn’t trying to get away from you. If I had my way, I would have never left, but I saw the look in your eyes when you heard everyone return. You were embarrassed and scared. I wanted to protect you from the ribbing the guys would have given you when they saw you. Never once did the thought of not seeing you again cross my mind until I returned after the show to find you gone.”
“Come on, Cayson, you expect me to believe that, honestly? I haven’t heard from you since that day. I’m finding it hard to believe that someone who wanted to be around me hasn’t tried to reach out and talk to me once.”
“You’re wrong, Kayla, and I’m going to show you just—” Before he can finish what he is saying, a deep booming voice calls out my name, and in walks Randy along with Rusty and Kathy. Randy looks at me and Cayson as he walks toward us before bending down and kissing my cheek once he is by my side.
I pull back slightly. “Hey, Randy, what brings you and Rusty by? I know why Kathy is here.”
Randy looks a little put off by my comment when he speaks. “We were just dropping Kathy off, and besides, since when is it a crime to want to stop and see my girl?”
I cringe when Randy calls me his girl, but I recover quickly and introduce everyone. “Cayson, I want you to meet my friend Randy, his friend Rusty, my best friend’s brother, and Kathy, my best friend. Everyone, this is Cayson Razor.”
“Holy Shit!” Randy says, pulling away from me and extending his hand toward Cayson. “Nice to meet you. I didn’t know you and Kayla were friends.”
Cayson looks anything but pleased, but he graciously accepts Randy’s hand and shakes it, telling him it is nice to meet him as well. Kathy looks at both men and me, assessing the situation. “So, are you here to have Kayla autograph a book for you?” Kathy asks Cayson. When Cayson looks down at his hand and sees he is in fact still holding a book, he pushes it forward toward me. The whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable, so I take the book, walk over to the table, and reach for a pen, scribbling inside.
Cayson,
Thank you for showing me what the “REAL WORLD” is like. I’ll never forget you.
ALWAYS, KAYLA
I hand the book back to Cayson and then turn to my friends. “You guys ready?” Everyone answers in harmony. “Sure.” Turning to Cayson, I give him a huge hug. “Thank you for stopping by to see me. It was good to see you again.” Then I turn and leave. Leaving my heart once more ripped from my chest and with Cayson Razor.
As I climb into Randy’s car, my phone vibrates in my purse. Once I’m seated in the back, I pull it from my purse and see his text.
ROCK GOD: This isn’t the end, Kayla, I need to see you again. I’m coming for you.
Chapter 10
Cayson
I watch Kayla walk away from me and know I can’t let this be the last time I see her. I immediately reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to send her a text.
I have two weeks to make her mine. Two weeks to wipe every thought of this Randy character from her mind and remind her of how good we can be together.
Looking down at the book in my hand, I open it to see what Kayla has written for me.
Cayson,
Thank you for showing me what the “REAL WORLD” is like. I’ll never forget you.
ALWAYS, KAYLA
I haven’t read many good-bye letters. In fact, I don’t ever think I’ve seen a good-bye letter, but if I had, Kayla’s autograph would probably have mirrored the sentiment. I just stand there looking at her words, so lost in thought that I don’t hear anyone enter the room.
“What happened with Kayla?” Patricia asks with a look of surprise on her face, looking at my mom and then to me.
“Yeah, Cayson. What did you say to Kayla?” Mom questions me with a look of dissatisfaction on her face.
“What the hell? Why does everyone assume I did somethin
g wrong?” I ask. Both women look at me, raising their eyebrows as if to question why I’m asking that. “Really,” I snarl, “I did nothing wrong. Kayla’s friends interrupted us and then she left. I never got to tell her how much I liked her book. In fact, I never got to tell her anything. This is so fucked up.”
“Language, Cayson.”
Patricia laughs at my mom when she scolds me. “Honestly, Brenda, you are such a prude. I don’t remember you being like that in college. In fact, I remember—”
“STOP! I don’t want to hear another word you have to say about my mom or your college days,” I say to Patricia. “My mom is a saint in my mind, and I want to keep it that way.” I shake my head as I walk toward my mom. Kissing her on the cheek and walking past the two women cackling like hens.
Once outside of the bookstore, I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone again, seeing that I have missed a text.
KAYLA: Please don’t. Let it go.
Kayla Marshall has another thing coming if she thinks I’m just going to walk away and leave her alone. Not going to happen.
The next day, I get a call from my mom telling me if I want to see Kayla, I can find her in Pinetop at Patricia and Sean’s cabin. Patricia gave her the keys yesterday so she can get away and start writing her next book. The call is short and sweet, but Mom's voice is stern when she says, “Cayson, this could be your last chance to tell her how you feel before you leave. If you want any hope of building a relationship with Kayla, now is your chance.”
I can be stubborn if I want to be, but this isn’t one of those times. I’ll gladly tuck my tail between my legs and beg for her forgiveness. Tossing a couple of items in my duffel, I throw the bag in the back seat of my sports car and head north with the wind in my face. The two-and-a-half-hour drive gives me an opportunity to think about what I want to say to her and how I’m going to say it. When I finally arrive in town, it’s evening, and the sun is almost gone. Luckily, Sean’s cabin is in Pinetop Country Club, so I don’t have to worry about dirt roads. There are no streetlights, though, which means I need to find his cabin before the sun completely sets. Elderwood Pine Lane is located at the back of the country club, away from people coming and going. I should have known Sean’s cabin would be anything but a cabin. Nestled back in the pines sits an enormous three-story log home. The parking area is all gravel that butts up to a two-car detached garage. The walkway to the home is about fifteen feet from the front door and made of concrete and stone.