I'm not sure what will happen with Trent and me. I obviously love him. I love him so much that I can literally feel my heart trying to escape from my chest, aching for him, screaming for him. He saved my life in more ways than one. He saved me from the girl I was turning into after John. He saved me from myself. He saved me from my mentally disturbed attacker who had my life in his cold, careless hands. I may not get to stay with Trent, but at least I got to be with him. I got to experience his love and endless kindness, even if I feel like it was too short.
I'm lying in the bathtub, warm water soothing my tired, achy muscles.
Relaxing me.
Calming me.
I close my eyes and slide farther down into the bathtub, only leaving my head peeking above the water line. I place my foot on the faucet, feeling the cool metal graze my skin. My head is clear for the first time in what feels like forever. I take a huge, profound breath, and it feels like it's been ages since I've been able to breathe without my chest protesting. This feeling is wonderful. I hear the bathroom door open and shut quietly. My eyes flutter open to find Trent, still dressed in his navy blue scrubs, gazing down at me; his smile is breathtaking.
"Getting naked without me, I see?"
My lips turn up into a grin. I think this is the first time I've smiled in days. "Sorry, Casanova. I couldn't wait. My muscles needed some soothing."
Trent squats down near the tub and rests his elbows on the porcelain edge, dipping his hands in and splashing a few bubbles towards my face. “I could help with the soothing…”
“I don't doubt that.” I flick water towards him with my index finger.
“I missed you. How's my Ellie girl?” I see concern cross his eyes for the briefest moment. I can only imagine the hell I've been putting him through over the past several weeks. I've been so closed off, so distant; I'm sure he feels like I've completely checked out from our relationship. Deep down I'm scared that my emotional state has given him reason enough to leave Charlotte and go back to his life in Seattle. I fear that I've ruined us. Ruined this amazing thing we've shared. I just want to enjoy the time I have with Trent from here on out, even if the time is short, nearing an end. I want to savor him, relish in the way he makes me feel.
“I'm better actually. I had a nice conversation with my mom. She made me finally open my eyes. I've got some work ahead of me, but I'm not letting what Frank did take over my life.”
Trent lets out a breath, almost like a massive weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. “You're so strong, baby. So god damn strong. I'm always here for you no matter what, okay?”
I don't let the fact that I know Trent is going to go back to Seattle soon crush this moment. I take his words for what they are right now, right this very second. “Thank you.” My eyes are kind, appreciative for what he's done for me. “You have no idea how thankful I am that you came in that night and saved me. You saved my life, Trent.”
His eyes close and he shakes his head back and forth subtly, running his hands through his tousled, jet-black hair. “I will never let anything or anyone hurt you. Never.” His eyes open and the intensity nearly rips my heart out of my chest.
I reach my hand out of the water and place it upon his cheek. “I love you.” Water droplets slowly drip onto his skin.
“I love you too.” Trent places his palm over my hand, his warm caress causing the tips of my fingers to tingle. “I'm not sure if you remember, but I leave for Seattle tomorrow. I'll only be there until Friday, just a few things to get settled with University Hospital and my old apartment. There are some things I want to talk to you about…”
I immediately place my fingers over his lips, quickly shutting him up before I have to hear that he's leaving me for good. I adjust a little in the tub, lifting my chest above the water, my breasts in full view above the bubbles. His glances down and a lustful smirk crosses his face, my lips returning the favor. I want to savor this time with him, bring back the fun, witty banter we're so good at. We haven't been intimate since before my attack, and my body craves him.
“Let's talk about those things later. Where's my kiss, Dr. Thrust Me?” I giggle a little before pushing my bottom lip out, giving him my best pouty face.
He leans in to give my lips a small peck, and I immediately pull him off balance when I wrap my arms around his neck and drag him into the tub with me, water and bubbles splashing everywhere. “Shit! Ellie!” He yells before he starts laughing.
I'm still giggling with a very shocked and still fully clothed Trent lying on top of me, soaking wet. “Whoops!” I say, feigning innocence.
Grinning at my attempt at being coy, he starts to tickle my ribs, making me laugh even harder. Now I'm begging him to stop. “I see how it is, little spitfire!”
I'm cracking up and gasping for air. “Stop! Please stop! Trennnnnnt!”
He is beaming down me with his beautiful blue gaze. He kisses my lips, gently entwining his tongue with mine. My nipples are instantly hard at the feel of his mouth on mine, his warm skin piercing my body through his wet scrub top. I kiss him back intensely, ardently, as I wrap my legs around his waist.
His arms embrace me before sliding around my ass, pulling my body closer to his. Trent takes me off guard by quickly standing up with me still in his arms. Water is sloshing out of the tub, onto the bathroom floor.
“Trent! What are you doing?!” I squeal when the cold air hits my nude body.
He steps out of the tub and heads for my bedroom, a lascivious grin etched on his face. “I'm getting ready to give that sexy body of yours some serious attention.”
“Oh my god! You're getting everything wet!” I whine as he stalks through the hall, sounds of squeaky shoes echoing off of the hardwood floor. Once he steps into my bedroom, he throws me down on the bed, and I laugh as my butt hits the mattress.
Oh god, how I've missed him.
Being with him. Letting him take charge of my body and do wicked, delicious things to me.
“I most certainly am going to get everything wet.” He gives me a mischievous grin before starting his assault on my now very wet and stark-naked body. All thoughts of Frank and Trent moving back to Seattle are long gone. Right now, I'm only thinking about how good he feels, how much my body is yearning for him to be inside of me.
And my body gets exactly what she desires for hours and hours and hours…
Chapter Thirty-Three
“In order to get what you really want, you have to take your balls in your hand and put yourself out there, vulnerable and exposed.”
Trent's flight was delayed for a few hours, and Amy decides that it's high time I enjoy a Friday night out with her. Friday night Karaoke at Murphy's Pub. This used to always be our little October ritual. Johnny started this tradition a few years back, and every Friday night in October, we'd get sloshed and watch people make fools of themselves singing Like A Virgin, as if they were actually Madonna. I agree fairly enthusiastically to the much needed night out, and I'm extremely happy to see my sister Lizzy tag along.
Things have been really rough on her over the past few months, but I've seen a change in her. She's different, in a good way, a better way. She's really taking time for herself, finding out who she is and what she wants. I support her in anything she decides, and right now, Lizzy has decided to divorce Matt.
She just recently got back to Charlotte from another week-long trip to Louisville. She spent time with Matt, with my parents. Things were said, feelings were expressed, and it sounds like divorce is her final decision.
She broke this news to me yesterday. I held my breath, prepared for her to be a sobbing mess, but I was surprised to see that she was calm, collected, and completely rational. I just want her to be happy. I just want Lizzy to have the life she wants, not the life someone else wants for her, and that's what I think really happened with her and Matt. He had an idea of who he wanted Lizzy to be in his head, and well, that wasn't the person she wanted to be.
I've only had a few, far too short phone
conversations with Trent over the past couple of days while he's been in Seattle. I'm avoiding the whole conversation of Trent moving back home. Dr. Grey is due to come back from his medical leave of absence in less than a week, and the thought of Trent leaving me is pretty much eating me alive.
I hate it, and I'm too scared to hear him say the words, so what do I do? I continue to be a chicken shit and avoid. I'm avoiding the conversation, I change the subject whenever he brings it up, and I can feel it in his voice that this is driving him crazy. The last time I talked to him, he sternly told me, "Damnit, Ellie. You can't keep avoiding this conversation. When I get home tonight, we are going to have a nice long chat and you are going to listen to every single word I have to say, even if I have to scream it through a god damn megaphone."
What could I say to that?
Trent is a patient man, but when the time comes for him to make his message known, his patience goes out the window. I'd say we're at that point. I just hope I can hold it together when he breaks my heart. I know what you're thinking…
Why don't you just move to Seattle with him?
And I would do that in a heartbeat if he wanted me to, but I'm not sure he does. The past few weeks have been rough, and my subconscious keeps telling me that Trent Hamilton needs a break from Ellen James's craziness. I know the attack and my closed-off, emotionless state I was walking around in for weeks have been a huge strain on him. I could see it in his eyes as each day passed.
So what am I going to do about it?
I'm not sure of my exact plan of action, but giving him some time and then stalking him in Seattle is on the list of possibilities. I just don't think I can let him go.
He's it for me.
Amy, Lizzy, and I take a seat at one of the high top bar tables toward the front of the makeshift stage. Johnny brought us over a few beers and now we're just sitting here, enjoying the ambiance that is drunken karaoke. The song list has ranged from Don't Stop Believin' to Baby Got Back. A whole lot of classiness all up in this pub.
I'm enjoying this time with my best friend and my sister. We're laughing and cutting up about each boozed-up singer that graces the stage. There is nothing like a good night of watching people who think they are the next Adele, sing their little hearts out. There has yet to be any true talent, but enthusiasm and interesting dance moves help to make up for a lot.
Amy's mouth gapes open as James slides into an empty barstool at our table. Yes, the very same James she refuses to speak to, acknowledge, or even talk about. Dr. Limp Dick, as she so fondly calls him. She's still pissed that he refused to sleep with her drunken vagina after the Regency golf charity function. Amy is the type of girl who is proud of her pussy. And I mean this in the most extreme form possible. Vaginal hubris. She owns her shit, and the fact that James didn't take her up on the offer for a little boom-boom after the charity function, well… That didn't go over to well with Amy.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Amy nearly gives James whiplash with her curt tone.
Shit, even I felt that sting of that one…
James smiles, which makes my jaw drop. If I were him, I think my balls would have crawled up inside of my stomach. “Everyone keeps talking about these famous karaoke nights at Murphy's and I figured I'd come out and see what all the fuss is about. Plus, I heard you were going to be here… So here am I.”
“What makes you think I'd want to see you?” Pissed off isn't even the word for her look right now. I think she might start shooting laser beams from her eyes.
“I didn't think you wanted to see me, but I wanted to see you.”
Damn, he's good.
I glance at Lizzy, and we both exchange a knowing grin. I know that James has just dropped the gauntlet on her ass. She's been left a little speechless, and I'm just dying to see what she does with his response.
“W-W-Whatever,” Amy stutters. She is scowling while James is still smiling as silence consumes our table. The bastard is just sitting there, completely relaxed and without a care in the world. A laugh escapes me, and I think Amy is about to shoot daggers into my chest.
God, she's stubborn.
I've attempted to have several chats with her about James, trying to get her to open her obstinate eyes and see that he showed that he is truly a nice, respectable guy when he didn't have sex with her that night. Let's just say theses attempts at conversations about James did not end well. His nickname of Dr. Limp Dick is still going strong, and she's still continuing to be a total and complete cunt whenever he tries to talk to her. I was honestly feeling bad for the guy, but now seeing the way he handles himself around her, I can see that Amy has for sure met her match with him.
“I'm going to head up to the bar. Anyone need anything?” James asks before standing up from his barstool.
Lizzy and I both thank him for the offer but politely decline. Amy, well…
“Nope, and no one fucking cares where you're going.”
Remind me to never piss Amy off. Ever.
James just smirks at her cuntiness and walks towards her barstool, standing close to her. Amy takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. He softly brushes her hair behind her ear, leaning down slowly and whispering loud enough for Lizzy and me to hear. “You look beautiful tonight.”
And with that, he turns around and walks away, leaving a very shocked and speechless Amy.
“What an asshole,” Amy spits out once she regains her equilibrium.
Lizzy and I both look at her with questioning expressions.
“Right? He's such an asshole!” Amy glances back and forth between us, trying to get us to agree with her absurd comment about James. Because seriously, she's completely off her rocker. She can be so stubborn sometimes, especially when it comes to her ego. And let's face it, James gave her vagina's ego a hard blow, and unfortunately for him, Amy's vagina apparently holds grudges. Big. Time.
“I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole. That shit is between you and him. I'm staying out of it.” I raise my hands in the air, showing my refusal to give her my opinion on the entire situation.
“Elle! Seriously? You're not going to agree with me that he's a total asshole?”
I vehemently shake my head no.
“Lizzy? What about you? I know you have to agree with me!”
“I'm also staying out of this one, Amy.”
“All three of you are assholes!” Amy screams in frustration.
I give Amy a minute to reel in her anger before testing the waters a little. I know my best friend, and I decide to throw a little comment out there just to see if James has managed to loosen her guard at all.
“Did he really tell you that you looked beautiful tonight?” I take a sip of my beer and watch Amy like a hawk, waiting for her reaction.
She's looking down at her beer, slowly peeling off the label from her bottle. For a split second, her eyes light up a little and the corners of her lips threaten to turn up into a smile. I start to grin in response, and then she looks up, locks eyes with me, and replaces that happy look with a death glare. “Fuck him and his limp dick.”
Damn, he really is good. Somehow, James has actually managed to get Amy to let a little bit of her guard down. My money says that James has his work cut out for him when it comes to winning over Amy's affections, but the man has for sure managed to put a few small cracks in her iron-clad wall of grudge-holding and never-ending stubbornness.
After a few more displays of drunken hilarity on the karaoke stage, I notice Amy look down at her phone. She glances up at me and a huge grin spreads across her face. Her fingers are quickly typing out a text message, and once she hits send, she rests back in her seat, takes a swig of her beer, and seems to have a smug look about her.
"What's going on over there, dickhead?" My eyebrow is quirked at her.
"Nothing you need to be concerned about, sweet cheeks." Her eyes are amused, and I get the feeling that she's hiding something from me. I know Amy almost better than I know myself, and believe me, I know when th
is chick is trying to keep something from me.
"You didn't start another online Twitter relationship with a fictional character, did you?" My fingers are peeling the label off of my beer bottle as I slyly glance up at Amy.
She slams her beer bottle on the table, foam dripping from the top. "Shut up, asshole! First of all, I thought we agreed to never talk about that little mishap again, and secondly, NO, I have not. I learned my fucking lesson the first time."
Lizzy is looking at Amy with curiosity on her face. "Online Twitter relationship with a fictional character? I need details. I really, really need details."
"Well—" I start to say before Amy curtly cuts me off by slapping her hand over my mouth.
"We agreed. End of discussion. You talk about it, and I swear I will shove this beer bottle straight up your ass," she says with far too much attitude while giving me a pointed stare.
Lizzy and I start laughing at Amy's very serious demeanor. She's now glowering at us, completely pissed off that I even brought it up, but I couldn't help myself. That has got to be one of the funniest situations I've ever seen my best friend a part of. Yes, Amy fell in love with a fictional book character on Twitter and proceeded to have a two-month love affair through tweets, direct messages, and emails. The book character was a guy named Grant Evans. The book is Love & Forgiveness by E.M. Marks. Fantastic book, by the way. I wish I could let you in on this little story, but Amy would quite literally cut off my right labia if I spilled the beans.
The Infamous Ellen James (Infamous Series) Page 23