Phoenix Fire

by S. D. Grimm

  I looked at her, touched her face. “How do you know?”

  She smiled sadly. “Because I can see it in your eyes.”

  She could see it in my eyes. I knew that’s what she’d say. She always said that. My eyes told her my secrets. My fears. I could keep nothing from her. “Three.” My voice broke like sandals sliding over crushed stone. I’d killed three Dark Phoenixes tonight. Two women and a man. People I’d known once. They’d become so different. Animalistic. Wild in a way that didn’t seem free and untamed but rather desperate and hunted.

  The darkness they’d embraced was tarnishing them.

  “I’m sorry.” She linked her hands around my neck and pulled me in. Kissed me with fervor and support and desire. Everything inside of me broke away from the walls I tried so desperately to raise. To keep the hurt inside. And she pulled it away from me with a kiss. Filled me with strength.

  When we broke away, she smiled, sadly. “Thank you for protecting us. I am sorry you must wear the burden of killing friends.”

  Born a Taker, I had the ability to kill other Phoenixes permanently. No more cycles. Their ashes blew away in the wind. Specs of a forgotten hope. Gone. It was my burden.

  Ava’s burden if I failed.

  Which was why, no matter who my father and his council sent me to kill, I would do it and save Ava the heartache.

  Dinah grabbed my hands and her eyes drank in every part of me. “I’m sorry I cannot carry this burden with you.”

  I squeezed her fingers. “But you do. Every time I come to this door to report to my father what I’ve done, you carry what I can’t take in there.” My sorrow. My shame.

  Her fingers slipped from my hands and she pressed them against the back of my neck. Her eyes smiled as she looked at me. “If I could do more, I would.”

  “I love you.”

  A sultry smile stretched her lips. “Do you want to know what I learned?”

  My glance darted to the door. “You were listening in?”

  “Of course, I was.” Her gaze drifted away.

  I touched her chin to try and bring it back to my eyes. “What is it?”

  “Gwen. She’s fallen in love.” Now she looked at me and her brown eyes were wide. “With a human.”

  My heart sputtered. “No,” I whispered. “She didn’t go before my father, did she?”

  “She told the whole council, in no uncertain terms, that their ashes could blow in the wind for all she cared. No one would stop her from healing the human.”

  I pressed my hand against my forehead, feeling the dried blood spots from my victims tonight. Dark Phoenixes. Those who defied the council’s rules and chose to stand up against us.

  I hadn’t agreed with this name we’d given them at first. Not until I saw their true motives. Not until I witnessed how they cared nothing for the good of humanity. That they wanted to destroy it.

  Gwen used to be a Phoenix who could create new Phoenixes—a Giver. Her powers had been stripped of her when the Elder Phoenix took that power from everyone. Only Cade had that power now.

  Not everyone knew about his dormant powers, though. But Gwen did. If she still had her power, she’d be able to turn the human she’d fallen in love with into a Phoenix. “Did she ask for her powers back?”

  Dinah nodded. “It didn’t go well for her.”

  “I need to talk to her. Will you please give my father my report?”

  “I will.”

  I headed down the hall, and Dinah stayed rooted. She held my hand for as long as possible as distance tore it away from her.

  When I made it to Gwen’s room, I spotted candlelight beneath the door.

  “Gwen?”

  “Go away.”

  “Please, let me talk to you.”

  “You just want to tell me what I must do.” She sighed.

  I stepped into her room. She sat in the corner on a pile of pillows. Candlelight flickered over the walls, making it possible to discern her puffy eyes. “Have you been crying?”

  She stared at me, mouth agape. “I told you to go away.”

  “Only you can tell others what they must and mustn’t do?” I cocked an eyebrow. She stared at me, eyes growing wider, and I realized my mistake. I’d forgotten to wash the blood off my face.

  “You killed more,” she whispered.

  I leaned my back against the wall, removed my sword, and sank to the floor.

  “Why do you do what Father tells you?” Her eyes hardened.

  “He is the leader of Phoenixes.”

  “Of Light Phoenixes.”

  A strange weight settled in my stomach and I leaned forward. “That includes you, right?”

  “Cade still has his powers.” She looked at her hands.

  I ran my fingers along the sheath of my weapon. “So do I.”

  “Because you’re a Taker. Since when did ending life become more important than giving it?”

  “Gwen, this isn’t about—”

  “Yes, it is. You’re too blind to see it. What if the Dark Phoenixes kill Cade? Shouldn’t there be another who wasn’t stripped of their Giver powers?”

  “It was all or nothing, you know that.”

  “Except Cade and Ava.”

  “They were in Mother’s womb.”

  “You think Grandfather didn’t know that? Now Cade has his power, and they have their Phoenix fire.” She looked at her hands. “Father won’t even let them fight, and they have our kind’s most effective weapon.” When her eyes met mine, a strange hatred seemed to fill them. “The Dark Phoenixes will figure out how to get their fire back, and you will be left with nothing.”

  I swallowed, aware that nothing right now would be good enough to appease her. “When the Dark Phoenixes are gone, Cade will make more. Someone needs to fight the monsters and protect humankind.”

  Her eyes darkened. “Yes. We are to protect them, but what of loving them?” Tears sprang into her eyes. “I love him, Nick.” Her voice was but a whisper. She clutched a pillow in her fisted hands and squeezed. “If I had my powers, I could put him on my cycle as a Phoenix. He wouldn’t be a human. They wouldn’t have to worry about the corruption. About my powers being drained.”

  “But the rules—”

  “To the wind with the rules! One man corrupted a few Phoenixes long ago. That’s not my Jon, and that’s not now!”

  “Gwen, I—”

  “Don’t tell me you understand.” Her voice grew dark. “Dinah is a Phoenix. You are allowed to love her.”

  “You are allowed to love a human as well. You just can’t heal them from the brink of death.”

  “I can if I become a Dark Phoenix.”

  My lungs emptied. “Gwen!” I leaned forward and held out my hands, signaling her to quiet down. “Their powers have been stolen, too. They created an image of their old powers through a deal with evil monsters. You can’t trust that kind of magic. It taints you.” I recalled today stabbing my sword through an old man who twitched and writhed in his own body because the dark magic had finally gotten to his brain.

  Tears streamed down her face, and she glared at me as if I’d hurt her. “Phoenixes are supposed to be allowed to fall in love with other humans. It was the original design.” Her voice broke. “We’re supposed to be able to heal them so that other Phoenixes with powers like Cade’s”—she thumped her finger into her chest—“with powers like the ones Grandfather stole from me, could then make them Phoenixes if they were deemed worthy. Don’t you see?” She pressed her head in her hands and grabbed fistfuls of hair. Then she added quietly, “Everything is ruined.”

  I took her hand in mine. “Gwen, you know that the Dark Phoenixes arose because humans are susceptible to a darkness we do not possess. Because the wrong humans were turned into Phoenixes. That is why we are forbidden to turn—”

  Her tearful eyes narrowed as if she was disgusted with my answer. “What do you know of love, Nick? And what of death?”

  I gasped.

  She motioned to my sword. “You are sen
t to eradicate them.”

  The heaviness in my chest dropped. Everything inside me squeezed painfully. “They’re monsters, Gwen. They try to kill me. Kill all of us.”

  “Us.” She said the word quietly as she nodded. The way it hung in the air, hard yet almost a question, almost like that one word opened a forbidden door, chilled my very soul.

  She chewed the inside of her cheek while she stared at me. “And love?”

  “I know how real it is. I know that when a Phoenix falls in love—”

  “It’s forever, Nick.” She used that same quiet, soul-chilling voice. Then she stood. Elegance in her steps as she walked past me and to the door, where she paused. “I’m sorry, brother. I thought you of all Phoenixes would see my side. But now I know you are as blinded by the love of law over the love of what is right.”

  I scrambled to my feet and my heart thundered. “Gwen, what do you mean? Why are you sorry?”

  A delicate smile touched her lips, ruefully. “Because I want what I can’t have.”

  I pulled out of the memory there. No reason to relive the carnage of that day.

  I realized I held Kelsey’s ID so tightly that my hand trembled. I glanced around the coffee shop, and no one else was looking my direction. I desperately tried to calm my shaking nerves and loosen the tightening in my throat.

  I thumbed through the library book, while I waited. The only result the library had yielded on my search for the Phoenix blade. The book spoke of a legendary knife that could be used to shear a Phoenix’s feathers off and make it so the mythical bird could no longer fly. That was the thing about these interpretations. When a race of beings meant to keep humans safe from evil creatures was formed, there was no telling the people about them; otherwise, the people would know about the vampires, werewolves, wraiths, shadow puppets, redcaps, shifters, and—well, the list went on.

  It basically made my search of a way to separate my connection with Gwen impossible. Even if this blade was a literal blade—like the woman whose family I’d met in Japan seemed to think—this book didn’t know any more than I did about how to find it.

  I closed the book and tapped Kelsey’s ID against the cover.

  I was no closer to my goal.

  Someone walked in and I glanced at the door. Kelsey stood there, sunshine illuminating her crown like a halo. She spotted me and smiled. The tiny wave of her fingers sent the lump right back to choke me.

  Why was I doing this?

  I waved back, showing her the plastic card between my fingers.

  She walked up to the table I’d snagged and pulled her purse off her shoulder as she sat down. Her eyes beaming. The scarf around her neck—red—reminded me of the crimson sash we wore when fighting. I crushed my eyes closed and fought the urge to stand up right then and leave her.

  But I’d invited her.

  I had reached out to a human. For what?

  “Hey.” She sighed and placed her elbow on the table, leaning forward with her chin in her hand and her eyes so full of life. “I never expected you to call me. Not in a thousand lifetimes.”

  I passed her the ID across the smooth Formica tabletop as her choice of words slayed me. “Yeah?” My voice broke and I cleared my throat. This was a mistake. “You left this at my house yesterday.”

  Her fingers touched mine and warmth shot into me. I swallowed and looked up at her. “Thank you! I was looking all over for this. I hoped I hadn’t dropped it on my run, and then I saw your text. You saved me a lot of worry.” She put the ID in her purse as she prattled on, and I realized how different she was from Dinah. She motioned over her shoulder. “I think I’m going to order something.” She looked at my cup. “Do you want anything else?”

  I shouldn’t do this. It would be so much easier to let go if I didn’t foster a relationship with her now. “You know what, I think I should go.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened and her lips remained in the little circle, as if she were frozen in the moment. Then her eyelids blinked rapidly. “Yeah.” She picked up her purse and stood. “You know, that’s good because…I wanted to head to the—” She paused and looked at my book. “You have an interest in ancient artifacts?”

  “Yeah.”

  Her sparkling eyes appraised me again. “I am going to be an archeologist.”

  “Really?”

  She nodded. “I’ve actually seen this book before. My brother checked it out once. It’s fascinating. Do you think any of those things actually exist? I mean, I have my own theories, but it’s very rare to find someone else interested in this stuff.”

  Wyatt had looked at this book? That caused my stomach to tighten. What could he possibly want with it? My heart stalled. Something for Gwen. Of course she’d be looking for it, too. I glanced at my watch. “You know, I have a few minutes. I wouldn’t mind spending some time with you before I have to leave.”

  “You wouldn’t? I mean, of course. Do you mind if I get some coffee?”

  “Please.”

  That smile found its way back to her face, and she walked up to the counter. How was I going to describe to her that I just wasn’t like most high school boys? That I had lived through things—experienced more things—than anyone my current age? That relationships were not on the table for me, no matter the attraction I felt to her? I couldn’t.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ava

  By the time I finished baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies, Wyatt still hadn’t responded to my texts, so I put two dozen homemade reasons for him to give me answers into a disposable plastic container and headed over to his house.

  Way more nervous than anticipated, I knocked on the front door. A woman answered. She looked much different than when I’d seen her in the picture. Sadder somehow. “Can I help you?”

  “I’m a friend of Wyatt’s.”

  “If his car is here, he’s in the shed out back.” She motioned to the driveway where his dull red Toyota with the retractable headlights sat. She didn’t even invite me in, so I assumed I should head out to the back shed. I made my way down the walkway to the driveway and past the ancient Toyota. One of the headlights remained visible while the other hid in its compartment. The driveway led to a well-worn path with a couple of half-buried stepping-stones. I followed that to the little shed out back. It had to be the size of an old carriage house, and it was in need of a serious paint job. The door was warped, but the knob and lock looked newer. I breathed deep to calm my jittering, raised my fist, and knocked.

  “Yeah?” It was Wyatt’s voice on the other side all right, but he sounded terrible. At least I knew he wasn’t lying about being sick.

  I waited for him to open the door, but no one did. What did “yeah” mean? Was I supposed to go in? Or just wait out here? “I missed you in school, and you’re not answering your texts.”

  “Ava?” A bit of shuffling and ten seconds later he opened the door a crack and looked down at me with one eye squinted closed.

  “Rough night?” I smiled and held up a tin. “I made cookies.”

  His squinted eye opened slowly, and he stared at me for a beat too long to be considered normal surprise.

  I rattled the container, hoping they’d at least earn me an invite inside. “Does the word Phoenix mean anything to you?”

  He expelled a breath then said quietly, “You remembered.”

  Those two words hung in the space between us like a mist I could almost see but most definitely feel. And the relief on his face sent a shiver through my core. Hope rose inside me, but so did a spike of ice in my blood. All this was real. And Wyatt would finally give me answers.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.” He opened the door, and I stepped inside the room. That’s all it was. One room with two windows. A drawing table sat near the door. A coffee table near the tattered couch where a tossed-aside blanket told me he’d likely been sleeping.

  And shelves and a work bench lined the back wall. Books, test tubes containing who knew what, and papers filled th
e shelves.

  “Nice place.” I turned around to face him, and that’s when I saw blood and bruises all over his left arm. “What happened?”

  “I broke it.”

  My pulse thrummed. “What?” I reached for it, then wasn’t sure I should touch him. His arm was still pretty swollen, but there weren’t any hospital bandages. Then again, if he was also a Phoenix, he’d be healing, right? “Are you okay?”

  “I will be.”

  That was what Cade had said.

  Wyatt led me to the couch with the ripped seat cushion. He moved the cream-colored blanket and offered me a seat. I took it.

  Gingerly, he sat down. “It takes me longer to heal after—” He winced and breathed in through his teeth when his arm bumped the couch’s armrest.

  He leaned toward a bag of ice on the table beside the couch.

  “Let me help you.” I reached it for him. “Maybe you should take it easy.”

  “Thanks.”

  He breathed deep and positioned himself on the couch. I didn’t really understand all of this, but what I did know was that my…brothers…had been hunting monsters last night. Apparently Wyatt had, too. And after what I’d seen from Cade, I understood that it sometimes took time to heal. For Wyatt’s sake, I hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

  “What do you need?”

  “I’m okay for now.” He smiled ruefully. “All things considered.”

  I looked into his expectant eyes. It was time for me to let him closer, wasn’t it? To stop keeping him at arm’s length? If I were to trust him, I’d have to let him past a wall or two. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I always remember before you.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “I know by now not to rush your memories. You always find me when it’s time.”

  “I do?”

  His smile lost its sadness, and he lifted the cookie container. “Yeah. And you typically bring me some kind of bribe.”

  Something in my chest warmed. “Is that so?”

  He nodded. “Something about your eternal optimism that I’ll reveal everything over a plate of sweets.”

  Eternal—it hit me like bricks. Each time I’d met him, were we always the same? No wonder I’d felt so comfortable with him. “And does it work?”