by S. D. Grimm
I turned toward the door.
Gwen.
My heart plummeted.
Chapter Forty
Cade
Nick had told me not to think about Yuki. He needed me to have a clear head for tonight. And he needed me to wait for Ava.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. Did my fool of a brother know me at all? Of course, I was going to think about Yuki.
Since I saw the reasoning behind his warning, I tried not to. I picked up a box of frosted cereal and pulled out a bowl. Dinner of champions.
And someone knocked on the door.
What was this, Grand Central Station? I ran to the door, hoping it was Ava. It wasn’t, but I moved aside, mouth dry. “Yuki. Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She stepped in and I closed the door behind her. “No. I had a memory.” She seemed really shook up, so I guided her into the back room. We sat on the couch. She’d never told me about a memory before, but after this evening with Nick telling her what she was—things started to make sense to her.
I kind of wished I’d listened to Nick more when he’d carefully coaxed memories out of me without making me feel like I was going crazy. Or telling me too much and making me think he was crazy. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
Eyes wide, she nodded.
I didn’t like seeing her so scared, so I grinned. “Am I in it?”
She narrowed her eyes. “You are actually. And your weird older brother.”
Nick? Perfect. I stopped myself from slumping as I fought the faint and clearly unfounded thought that Nick stole the thunder in my love life often.
Then again, maybe it was totally founded.
She started to tell me. She said it was in Japan. Nick and Ava were there, fighting monsters and losing. We had to get Ava out of there. She paused and looked at me, seeming to study my face, and I swallowed, not wanting to move, not wanting her to forget a second of the memory. Because for some reason, I felt like I was there, too. And for the first time, this memory didn’t hurt.
We were surrounded. And there stood Gwendolyn, flanked by five monsters. She raised her hand and another monster rose up from the earth. How was she doing that?
I slashed into another of her monsters, and it fell. They were weak, hollow almost, but she’d created them.
I ran toward her, but another monster blocked my path. I cut its head clean off and it crumpled to the ground. And Gwendolyn was gone. Where to? I whirled around in time to kill another beast. As it fell away, I saw Yuki. She fought valiantly, but there were too many. A monster with bloody jowls and red eyes lunged at her from behind.
“Yuki, look out!” I raced toward her.
She turned too late. The creature stabbed her through the heart with its long claws. She fell, hard, fast, motionless. I screamed and it rang through my ears. I ran, calling all of my speed, and stuck the monster clean through with my silver-coated sword. The creature fell, and I raced past the disintegrating body to Yuki’s side. I fell to my knees, crushing bruised and ruined sakura petals, and pulled her head onto my lap.
She tried to speak and ended up touching my arm. Blood trickled out of her mouth.
I looked back at Nick, fighting for Ava. I—I couldn’t let Yuki die. But I didn’t have time. I had to decide now, without talking to Nick. Would he forgive me? Healing her would put her on my cycle. Make her attached to me in more ways than one. She’d fall for me. Forever. She’d love me.
I could feel Yuki’s life force slipping, and it tugged at the power inside of me. And I looked at her. At the hole in her neck. The dark blood on her clothes. Sweat beading on her face.
She knew how to save my brother.
I pressed my hands against her.
“Cade! No!”
Nick’s scream registered, but I didn’t care. I had to do this. Yuki knew where the blade was. How to use it. She could help us. More than that, she belonged with us. After all she’d done. I wasn’t going to let my brother stop me. I didn’t care what he’d thought about love or how reckless this was. He was stupid. I would save her.
And bright light glowed around both of us, until Nick pushed me off of her.
My head hit the ground.
The memory stopped.
I sat on the couch next to Yuki. My voice didn’t want to work yet.
She looked at me, a tear in her eye that she wiped away. “You saved me?”
“Are you sure?”
“I feel it—in the memory, I mean.”
“But you died.”
“For a little while.”
My heart slammed into my chest. I had saved her. Nick had told me not to fall in love, and I’d apparently fallen in love with Yuki. And saved her. I didn’t care if Nick would be angry.
I looked into Yuki’s eyes and grabbed her hands. “How much do you remember?”
“So, I’ve been alive before?” She shook her head. “Were those monsters real?”
I nodded. “Reapers. Saki—her name is Gwen this lifetime—she makes them from werewolves and vampires and, I don’t know, dirt? But the blade. Do you know what that is?”
Her eyes met mine tentatively. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
My heart thundered. Not yet. She’d remember. She had to remember. Because I still didn’t know what it was or why we needed it, which meant I had to get Nick to unlock that stone for me.
A strange shuffling noise echoed outside the door, and I looked at Yuki.
“Nick?” she asked.
“No.” I crept toward the weapons safe and opened it.
Yuki was right behind me. She reached in and grabbed two katana swords. She arched an eyebrow. “You know how to use these?”
“You?”
She smiled. “What makes you think we need—”
I pressed my finger to my lips, signaling her to be quiet. I smelled something in the air that seemed off. “We have to get out of here.” I took her hand and ran. We made it out the back door, but not to Yuki’s car before three dark, massive figures outside the house jerked their attention toward us.
“What are those things?” Her voice shook. She handed me one of the swords.
I took it and shielded Yuki, praying I remembered how to use a katana. “I think they’re called reapers.”
Chapter Forty-One
Ava
I walked through the reeds and found a trail that headed down by the river where a small tree sat near a half-sunk dock that extended out into the water. The sound of someone rustling in the leaves caught my attention, and I noticed Wyatt by the water’s edge. He wore a pair of blue jeans and seemed to be shoving another pair of jeans into a backpack. My heartbeat sped. He must be getting his things ready because he’d be changing tonight.
Not wishing to startle him, I headed closer. But a memory enveloped me before I made it.
My hands pressed against the gaping wound in his chest. I was back outside the marquis’s home with Wyatt, trying to get him inside. But he’d fallen to his knees. I’d been in this memory before. Just not this far. But just like before, he wasn’t healing.
“Why aren’t you getting better?” I’d removed the bullet. I checked the wound. Strange black lines seemed to spread out from it beneath his skin. My heart clutched. Was there nothing that could save him?
“Silver,” he said, breathless.
I fisted my hands. I wasn’t about to let Wyatt die. Not here. Not now. Nick would never forgive me. It didn’t matter. Nick had already lost his chance, falling in love with someone he wasn’t willing to heal wasn’t my fault. He of all people should understand what happened when a Phoenix fell in love. I wasn’t going to lose Wyatt. “I have to get you out of here.”
“The poison, Ava. It will kill me.”
“Not if I can help it. Can you stand?”
“Ava. It’s no use. I—” He buckled over in pain.
“Who shot you?” I helped him lie down.
“I—I don’t know. I—”
He was dying. The bullet
I’d removed was silver. But Nick and Cade wouldn’t, would they? Tears streamed down my face. I pressed my hands against his gaping wound and heat so bright and so deep filled the depths of me. My soul. My strength. This bright light filled all of it, every crevice of my being, and with one surge, I pumped everything into him.
And Wyatt gasped. His eyes popped open. He gripped my hands.
“Ava. What have you done?”
“I saved you.”
He shook his head. “Nick will never forgive you. I’m—I’m a monster.”
“You’re not. I’ve seen you. You’re still you. As long as your heart pumps warmth, you will keep the darkness at bay.” A tear slid down my cheek. “Besides, I wasn’t about to lose you. Not now. Not ever.”
He hugged me back. Crushed me so close I could feel his heart beating against my chest. Then he kissed the top of my head. “Thank you, Ava. For loving me enough to save me.”
I hugged him tighter.
As the memory faded, the feelings didn’t. They joined the ones I’d started making for him in this lifetime. I stared at this young man down by the river. The curve of his back. His muscular shoulders. My heartbeat sped. He glanced at me askance and smiled.
I sucked in a breath. “You knew I was here?”
“It’s hard to sneak up on me, Ava.”
He started walking toward me. “How did you find me this time?”
This time? My mouth went dry. Lifetimes of finding him. It didn’t seem normal. Falling this deep with someone I barely knew. “Do you remember the day I saved you?”
“Of course.” His eyes grew intense. “You?”
I nodded, unsure of my voice. “You’re always saving people, aren’t you? That night at the accident site, when you shielded me, did you know who I was?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember the first time you saw me?”
“Yes.”
No hesitation. No trepidation. Just yes. That warmed my heart. “So, how does your memory compare to mine?”
He looked down and scuffed his boots through the grass. “The first time I saw you, you had no idea I was even standing there.” He glanced up shyly.
“What?”
“Do you remember the marquis’s nephew?”
“Yes! Spoiled brat with more callers than he knew what to do with. He was seriously an older version of The Bachelor, parading women past one another.”
“Yes. And he wanted you.”
“No, he did not! I was a servant.”
“The one girl he couldn’t have. Remember that day in the garden, while you were playing shove ha’penny. And he asked you to teach him?” The wisteria had been in bloom, and the summer sun beat warm and friendly. My dress was heavy and cumbersome, and I missed my hunting clothes. And that man had tried to get me to take his arm. Not one, but three times. And I’d kept denying him and his cocky smile. He wanted more than I was willing to give. And it was so strange because I was not nobility. He could be flogged.
“The third time he tried to get you hold his hand—”
“A chestnut came from nowhere and hit him square in the eye!” I started laughing. Wyatt laughed, too, and I looked into his eyes, brighter in the rising sun. “Tell me that wasn’t you.”
“You clearly weren’t interested in his advances.”
I could not contain my laughter. “You’re kidding me! What if you’d missed?”
He shrugged. “I couldn’t have you being taken before I even got to meet you.”
“Oh? And what if I’d denied your advances?”
He stopped and stared at me, pulling me in with a gaze. “You didn’t.” His strong fingers laced between mine. He took my hand in his and kissed the back of it. Such a strange gesture except that it brought so much history full circle. “Do you regret that decision?”
“No.” My voice seemed to be swallowed by the sound of the waves against the shore. My heart seemed like the sand, soaking in every new memory, already wet with every old emotion. And just when I thought my heart would burst from feeling so much, I looked right at Wyatt. “I’m supposed to save everyone from Gwendolyn. Nick says he thinks she’ll come tonight. Maybe tomorrow.”
Wyatt’s eyes narrowed. “Are you asking me her plans, because I don’t know. I haven’t had contact with her aside from with you today.”
“Nick thinks you should stay away from us when we fight her. He thinks you’re dangerous.”
“I agree with your brother on this.”
I walked away from him, closer to the water, and immediately regretted it. He’d been shielding me from a bit of chill.
He followed. Stood behind me. Didn’t put his hands on my arms to warm me like I wanted him to. “I saw you stand up to her.”
“And you saw how hard it was. She wasn’t even at full strength. The things she can make me do with a snap of her fingers…I can’t let her get that hold on me again. Nick won’t let it happen if he can stop me. We have an understanding.”
My heart dropped like a stone to the bottom of the river. “What kind of understanding?”
He was silent for so long that I turned to make sure he’d heard me. He glanced my way and the sorrow in his eyes told me he’d heard. “Ava, the things I’ve done…”
“As a werewolf.”
“It’s still me.” His gaze turned sharp. Like a blade.
“But it’s not. You help people. I’ve witnessed it. In this lifetime. In other lifetimes.”
“It’s never enough to atone for what I’ve done.”
I faced him fully. He looked so broken. “But that’s not why you do good. Right?”
His smile was more of a wince. “Of course not. I just… There’s a monster inside me. It’s always clawing to get out. The darkness wants to overpower me.”
“But darkness, no matter how deep, can’t snuff even the smallest of light, Wyatt.”
He sort of smiled. “Ava, that’s what I love about you. When I—” His finger touched the side of my face and trailed over my jaw line, down my neck. Over the spot where he’d scratched me all those lifetimes ago. And Wyatt’s eyes brimmed with tears. He swallowed. “Do you remember?” His voice broke.
A tear slid down his cheek.
I grabbed his hands. “You won’t hurt me.”
“That’s the thing, Ava. I already have. I almost killed you.”
“But you didn’t!” I squeezed his hands. “You didn’t, and you won’t.”
“You shouldn’t put so much faith in me. The last time you did—”
“What did you mean when you said you and Nick have an understanding?”
“Ava, there’s no doubt about the way I feel about you. But I don’t ever want to hurt you again. I don’t want to hurt anyone again. I made Nick promise something, and I’d like to ask you the same favor.”
My heart shuddered.
He breathed deep. “If I ever do anything to hurt you. If I ever do another thing on that massive of a scale that I”—he swallowed—“that I did before. Please, don’t make me continue to be a danger.”
I backed away from him. “What are you asking me?”
“You’re the only one who can do it. You brought me onto your cycle. Only you can take me off.”
“No!” I walked right up to him and fisted my hands. The hurt in my chest threatening to choke me.
“Ava, all I’m saying is—”
“Stop!” I whirled away from him, tears threatening. Why would he want to leave me? The one person I’d chosen to be with forever and he wanted to leave. I pressed my hands against my face to hide my tears.
“Ava, please listen to me.” He grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. “I love you.”
Those words made my heart stop. He…? I blinked rapidly, trying to catch up with the feelings exploding in my chest right now. He loved me. I shook my head. Why did everyone who said they loved me leave? I pushed against him with the same force I tried to push back against the coming tears. “Then don’t leave me!”
T
he words burned my throat. He pulled me in to him even as I pushed against him.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to become the monster again.” His chest heaved against me.
I looked up at him, the ache in my heart pulsing with each beat. “You won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you called me your light in dark places. When you need a light, Wyatt. When you think the only thing inside you is darkness, remember that it isn’t. As long as you love me, there’s light. And as long as there’s light, there’s hope.” I touched his chest with my palm. “I believe there’s good in here. More than you think. Can you cling to that?”
His heart beat beneath my palm four times before he answered. “I can.”
“Good. Then don’t ask me to do away with you. My job is to hunt monsters. I know one when I see one.”
He touched the spot on my neck that he’d scratched all those lifetimes ago. “Yes, ma’am.”
I smiled. “Don’t ‘ma’am’ me.”
He chuckled, and the sound was so freeing, it seemed to warm the wind.
I stared into his eyes, touched the side of his face, and coaxed him closer. His gaze traced my face. My lips. And I saw the longing inside as if he’d opened a door to his soul. He was trusting me. I let my walls fall, and I pulled him in and kissed him. His lips met mine, and warmth nonexistent on this cold night exploded through every part of me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me so close. So tight. His strong hands pressed against my back, my waist, as if he never wanted to let me go. He never had to. I held him back just as tightly while memories danced in my head. Summer and winter and fall and stars. So many nights spent under the stars. His hand in mine. His skin warm against mine. And those eyes. They drew me in. This kiss replayed all of it. But the memories rising to the surface most were from this lifetime. This Wyatt. The kiss ended and I held him tight. Looked into his eyes, my arms wrapped around his neck. Something about his expression seemed happy and sad all at once.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Except that I have to go.” I released him and he picked up his bag. “Thank you,” he said. “For giving me a chance. To atone.”