“Do you know of a lingerie place that’ll be open on your way out here? Or is there a place out here?”
“Liane, what in God’s name are you talking about? You’re not making any sense. What does lingerie have to do with Ronan calling you?”
“He’s coming here,” I say, a little squeal making its way out of my mouth before I can stop it.
“He said that?” I can hear Mia putting things in her car and starting the engine.
“He asked me where I was,” I answer.
I hear Mia breathe out slowly. “Liane,” she starts. “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?”
The smile drops from my face. Take what the wrong way? “Okay.”
“Unless he said he was coming there, I wouldn’t get your hopes up, okay? I’ve seen this so many times, sweetie. I know you want nothing more than for him to grovel at your feet and say he’s sorry, but from what you’ve told me, I just don’t know if that’s what is going to happen. So please, don’t do this to yourself. If for some reason he does show up, you can be pleasantly surprised. But him calling and asking where you are could be just that; him wanting to know where you are. You haven’t been home in a week and I’m sure he has been by and knows that.”
Tears fill my eyes again at her words. Why is she being so mean? Of course he asked where I am because he’s coming here; he loves me. He was just confused last week, and now he’s come to his senses. “Mia,” I choke out.
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes, Liane. Okay? I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me. I want nothing more than for him to come to his senses, but think of everything we’ve talked about for the last week. You can’t be co-dependent on him; you need to be your own person. And if that’s with Ronan or without him, then so be it.”
I turn and find myself looking out at the water again. She’s right. I’m doing it again. I want him to be sorry so badly that I’m ready to just drop at his feet and take him back. Where’s the pride I need to have in myself? “I don’t know if I can,” I cry to her, and that’s exactly how I feel. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to endure being ‘my own person’ when all I’ve ever been was ‘Ronan’s person’.
“I’ll be there soon. I’m bringing breakfast. Go sit on the porch and relax. Okay, Liane?”
I nod before realizing she can’t hear me. “Okay.” I throw the phone on the coffee table and open the slider to the porch. I still want him to show up today like nothing I’ve ever wanted before.
“GIRL, YOU ARE toast,” Mia giggles. After sitting on the beach all day, drinking and talking, Mia and I are now in my condo, drinking more and eating dinner. Not surprisingly, Mia had been right and Ronan hasn’t shown up. I’m still hoping that he will, but as the minutes and hours tick by, my hope is dwindling.
“I am not,” I say, waving my hand in front of my face. “I’m perfectly fine. Let’s go swimming.”
“Swimming?” Mia looks out at the beach, enveloped in the night sky.
“At the pool. There’s a spa there, too.” I’m up and into my room before she can say anything else. After changing into a suit and cover up, I look at my phone one more time before heading out. Nothing from Ronan, but I do have a text from Kinsley asking how I am. After writing her back quickly that I’m okay and am headed to the pool for a night swim and will call her later, I debate on whether I should bring my phone with me to the pool, just in case. I know what Mia will tell me when I go out to the living room, and she’s right.
“Ready?” I walk out sans the phone to see Mia, looking model gorgeous in her two-piece. God, I love to hate her. “Why are you so gorgeous?”
Mia laughs, looking down at her body and then at me. “Seriously? Have you looked in the mirror, Liane? You don’t look a day over twenty-five.”
“You’re a funny girl,” I laugh, opening the door so we can go soak our troubles away at the pool. I’m so thankful she’s staying with me tonight, or there’s no question I’d be sobbing all night once again.
“HE’S NOT COMING, is he, Mia?”
Mia turns to me, the lights from around the spa the only thing illuminating her face. “Well, I’m no psychic, but it doesn’t seem that he is, Liane.”
“So why did he call me and ask where I am?” I know when the words leave my mouth that she’s already told me this at least ten times today, but I can’t stop it.
She just smiles instead of telling me she wants to kill me, which I’m sure is what she’s thinking. I would want to kill me if I were her, too. “I can only speculate, sweetie. But the fact that he contacted you is a good sign, I’m just not sure it’s the sign you want it to be.”
I sigh, leaning my head back against the edge of the spa, allowing the jets to pulsate into the knots in my shoulders. “Let’s talk about something else. Tell me about Tony.” Tony is Mia’s newest ‘toy’, and she has been distracting me from my problems by talking to me about him on and off all day.
Mia’s eyes go over my head and then get wide. “What’s the matter?” I turn to follow her gaze but don’t see anything.
“I just saw a shadow of a fine specimen. He crossed over there,” she points to the dark shadow of the corner of the pool, “and I’m hoping he comes back. He was wearing a bathing suit and carrying a towel.”
I roll my eyes at her. “What about Tony?”
She laughs. “That’s the great thing about not being in a relationship. I can see whoever I want. And that guy was younger than me, for sure, but he’d be a nice distraction tonight.”
“Hey! You’re supposed to be with me tonight!”
Mia laughs again, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. “Well… if he has a place nearby, I could be quick…”
I smack her shoulder, both of us dissolving into laughter. She’s nuts, and I love it. It’s interesting that all the friends I choose in my life are complete opposites of me. Nothing that she or Kinsley do would ever be something I would be brave enough to try. The thought makes me sad, missing Gretchen. She had been opposite of me, too. She had been taken so tragically. I try to keep in touch with her husband, but he had remarried and the woman had adopted Gretchen’s child so it was a little awkward for me.
“There he is again,” she hisses between her teeth. “It looks like he’s coming to the spa. Oh my, look at that body. Turn around slowly, Liane, and watch my next toy come meet me.” Her eyes widen as she follows this poor unsuspecting guy, so I finally turn to see him. She seriously looks like she’s about to start salivating.
The first thing I notice is that the man is seriously beautiful. His body is cut and sculpted like he spends hours a day in the gym, and even in the dim light from the pool deck, I can tell he’s tan. His board shorts hang low on his hips, and the defined cuts of muscle on his chest and abs is enough to send women running to him and dropping at his feet. Had I been a single woman, he would definitely be my type. My eyes lift past his impeccable body to the face and head that’s attached, and that’s when my heart completely stops. I must’ve gasped out loud, because I feel Mia turn and look at me as he gets closer.
I feel my mouth drop open as his eyes meet mine for the first time in years. “Blake.” He stops in his tracks, both of us staring at each other for what seems like every moment of the time we have been apart. I can’t believe he’s standing here, and had it not been for Mia standing next to me, I might’ve thought I was dreaming.
“Liane?” The timbre of his voice sends shocks throughout my body. The last time I had seen Blake, he had been a handsome eighteen year old man. But this man standing in front of me is the epitome of every woman’s fantasies. While I would’ve recognized him anywhere, there’s so much about him that has changed for the absolute better. How is it that men always look better with age?
My eyes travel on their own accord to his left hand, where the absence of a ring has my heart soaring before I mentally chastise myself for even looking. What’s wrong with me? Somehow I register that Mia is moving closer to me in the water, but I can’t make my mouth move to intr
oduce her, and she’s surprisingly shocked silent. She knows all about who Blake is; I have spent the last week filling her in on our sordid history.
Our gazes locked, I lift myself out of the water on autopilot. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I have to look at him face to face and see that it really is him and he isn’t a figment of my imagination. Blake McIntyre, my lifelong friend and one summer romance, is here in front of me. As soon as I’m standing in front of him, I regret it as his eyes drop from mine and scan my body, making me want to cover myself. I hear Mia sloshing the water behind me. I can’t worry about her right now; my whole life has just turned upside down. Again.
He lifts his eyes back to my face, a small smile playing on his lips. “Well, well, well,” he drawls, his South Carolina accent more pronounced than I remember. “Look what the cat dragged in.” He smirks at me before hauling my dripping wet body to his. The second our skin touches, I inhale sharply. It isn’t lost on me that we’re wearing the equivalent of underwear and our bodies are pressed together like they belong there. His hard muscles press into my softness as his hands caress my back, and my mind goes back to that alcove all those years ago where we had first touched. I’ve purposely stayed away from that area of the beach since I arrived; there are some things better left alone.
I feel frozen, unable to decide if what I’m doing is okay when I hear Mia clear her throat behind me. I step back, our connection lost as I try to keep myself upright. My hands are shaking so badly I clasp them together to keep control of myself. I’ve thought about this moment for so many years. After everything that happened (or the lack of closure, honestly), I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to see him again. Yet, here he is.
“Blake,” I find my voice. “I can’t believe it’s you. It’s great to see you. This is Mia, my friend. Mia, my friend Blake.”
Her eyes snap to mine, then back to his. I can’t help but notice that he doesn’t peruse her body like he had mine. What does that mean? He holds out his hand to shake hers, and I watch, transfixed at him standing here. “Nice to meet you, Mia.”
“You too, Blake,” she responds. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” I want to groan when he starts smiling. Of course she would throw me under the bus.
“You have, huh? So I guess you know that it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, right?” Blake turns back to me, and I see something I don’t recognize in his gaze. “What are you doing here, Liane?” He sounds angry. At me? Because I’m here? Dread settles in my gut like a rock, and I fight the urge to turn and run. Who am I kidding? I don’t know Blake anymore. I don’t know the person that had walked away and left me without a fight. So maybe I should be angry, too. He has a lot of explaining to do. And I have a million questions, none of which are appropriate for right now.
I look over at Mia, and see the same surprise I feel written on her face. “I’m staying at my parents’ time share. What are you doing here?” If he’s going to give it to me, I’m going to give it back. I want to smirk at Mia and say, ‘See? I can listen to your advice.’
Blake looks away from me, another look I can’t decipher flitting across his rugged features. “I come here every year,” he says softly. I don’t know what to say to that, and it takes some wind out of my sails. When I don’t respond he turns back to me, his eyes locking onto mine. My heart stutters, remembering the last time I looked into the eyes of the boy I once loved. Saying goodbye had been brutal, but had I known it would be goodbye forever, I might’ve held on a little tighter. I know Mia is there, but for the life of me I can’t break my gaze from Blake’s. The eyes that I loved for so long are staring holes through me, the air around us having suddenly changed at his admission.
“I’m going to go back to the condo, Liane,” she says, touching my arm. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to do that, but my mouth isn’t forming words. “Talk,” she whispers so only I can hear. “Take your time.” I feel her turn and leave, and I feel like a terrible friend. Here I am, inviting Mia to come out with me so she can keep my miserable self company, and the first chance I get I’m letting her go back to the condo herself. And I had been worried she was going to ditch me for a hot guy. The hot guy that’s standing in front of me right now. Blake looks over my shoulder, watching as Mia disappears into the night.
“I can’t believe it’s you,” he says, reaching for me. I allow him to hold my hands, willing them not to shake. “There’s so much I want to say, Liane.” I can’t help but notice he’s not calling me Li, and for some reason that makes me want to cry. But Li is meant for a girl that he once loved and I’m no longer that girl. “Can we walk?” He nods towards the beach, and I stare, the memories playing through my mind like a slideshow. I don’t want to go and I want to go more than I’ve ever wanted anything both at the same time. Why does this always happen? Why is it that every time I’m put in this situation with Blake, it’s right after something horrible has happened with Ronan? It’s like fate’s cruel joke on us both. But isn’t that what you were secretly hoping, coming here this week, to run into him again? I’ve only been looking for him in every nook and cranny, including watching the door to his condo to see if anyone was coming and going. He must’ve just arrived today, because I know he hasn’t been here before now.
I nod, not trusting my voice. Blake drops one of my hands so we can walk, but keeps hold of the other one. He’s holding my hand like we did as friends: no fingers laced, just my hand tucked into his. I can’t help but notice that his hand dwarfs mine even more than it did before, and they are the hands of a working man. I want to ask him so many things, but I’m terrified to open the box that’s been padlocked shut for so many years.
HER HAND IS tucked in mine like we have done so many times before, and I can smell her shampoo when the wind blows through her hair. Time’s been very kind to Liane. While she had practically dropped me to my knees when I was eighteen, to see her now was like shooting me straight through the head—the kill shot. It’s like someone turned on a time warp machine and here we are. Same place, but fast forward through a lifetime of heartache and misery. Well, for me at least. I wonder what it has been like for her, but I don’t want to know how ‘amazing’ Ronan is, or her 2.5 perfect kids with him. Even his name sparks fire inside me. I wish I could tell her everything, but there’s nothing good going to come from me badmouthing her husband.
I hoped all these years that he was being good to her, treating her the way she deserved to be treated, despite the character he’d shown me. I’d kept myself from asking my parents how she was doing; I knew that they knew. After all, our parents are still best friends despite the fact that Liane and I had almost ruined that for them. Well really, it had been me. As far as I knew, Liane knew nothing about the behind the scenes activities that had taken place all those years ago. But it had been radio silence as far as Liane Kelly (Collier, ugh I hated that name for her) was concerned. It was almost like she never even existed. Except she did. The box that I kept hidden in the back of my closet, that I only brought out once a year, reminded me that she had in fact existed. The permanent hole that existed in my heart reminded me, also. She had been the reason why I could never fall in love. Not the right way. Not the everlasting way. That love was born with Liane Kelly and died the day she became Liane Collier. That was the day I became a shell of the person I used to be.
My right hand is holding her left, so I sneak a peek at her ring finger. I try not to let hope bloom that I see it empty, but I also know it could mean many things. She could just not want to lose her rings at the beach, she could be getting new ones, or… it could mean what I want it to mean, that she isn’t with him anymore.
Her hair is still blonde and she kept it long, though when she was younger it was more often curly. I knew she’d had a baby; well, at least the last time I knew anything about her she was pregnant. I assume she has a child, maybe several. But looking at that body, I know that she either works really hard at keeping herself fit, or she’s supremely bless
ed. Either way, her toned but womanly body sets me on fire like it never has before.
I can’t go down that path; not again. I have so many questions for her, but I don’t want the answers. This woman has wrecked my entire life, though she has no idea. How could she? I’d been the one that dropped off the Earth with no explanation. What will you do if she’s really not with him anymore, if they’re divorced? Separated? Something? Fear grips my heart, remembering the last time she had told me she wasn’t with Ronan anymore. As great as it is to see her in person after so many years of yearning for her, there’s no way I can go down that road again. I won’t survive it.
We walk in silence for a few minutes, both of us trying to come to grips with what is happening. Have I secretly wished for her to show up here every year? Yes. But that had been wishful thinking because I knew she’d never come. Now that she’s here, it’s thrown me for a loop. What’s the first thing I should say to her? What do we need to talk about, to clear the air? Is it too late?
“You look great,” she says finally, looking over at me. My heart trips over itself and begins pounding at her soft words. No matter what my brain tells me, my heart isn’t listening. It’s so beyond excited to have her within reach again, it doesn’t care what havoc she’d caused in my life. I want to laugh, but I don’t. “I always wondered…”
“You’re even more beautiful than I could’ve imagined,” I answer without thinking. I know I’ve interrupted her, but I had to say it before I lost nerve. A small gasp escapes her lips, and she looks away, dropping her hand from mine. Even after all of these years, I know something is wrong. She still has the same tells she’s always had. She stares out at the water, her arms wrapped around herself. I know she probably has just as many questions as I do; maybe more. After all, I’d been the one that disappeared without a word to her.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, knowing she won’t tell me unless she’s ready.
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