by Tina Leonard
A smile tugged at Cody’s lips. “Driving Ma crazy.”
“Oh, no! She’s not misbehaving, is she?”
“No way.” He shook his head. “But you know how it is when little kids visit their grandmother. There’s something fascinating in every closet, every drawer. Ma’s having the time of her life trying to keep up with her. Today they made Popsicles, and Mary put hers outside for the birds to eat. Ma finally convinced her that the birds would rather have something else for dinner.”
Mary’s antics brought a real smile to Annie’s face and she relaxed, finally able to let some of the tension ebb out of her. “Your mother’s awfully good to Mary.”
“She’d do anything for her. You know that, Annie.” Unspoken words hung in the air. Nothing changed because Carlos died. Yet Annie never felt comfortable asking Mrs. Aguillar for assistance of any kind. A lingering resonance of guilt that Carlos had died too young, too soon, trying to help her hang on to the farm kept Annie from wanting too close of a relationship with her mother-in-law.
“I know,” she replied. “Mary’s lucky to have a place where she can go and just be a little girl.” Far away from the worries that plagued her mother.
Cody nodded, seeming to understand the meaning behind her words. “How’s Travis?”
“He’s taking this whole thing like a trooper. If no complications appear, the doctor says he’ll be able to go home in a few days.”
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“Yes. I was too. Papa’s chomping at the bit to get out of the hospital as it is.”
“He’s going to be chomping when he gets home too. Have you figured out what you’re going to do about his recovery?” Cody slanted a questioning glance at her.
Annie sighed. “Frankly, no. Everything’s happened so fast that I’ve been surviving moment to moment.” She pushed a hand tiredly through her hair, noticing that the braid was mostly undone. A few fingernails were chipped, and her denim skirt and white blouse looked like she’d worn them for a week. No, she hadn’t thought about her father’s rehabilitation, nor much of anything else beyond surviving the panic of the first few days.
Cody patted her leg briefly. “Ma and Pa’ll be glad to help you any way we can. Just tell us how, when you figure it out.”
“You’re doing enough by taking care of Mary. I’ll be all right, really.”
Cody didn’t reply as he pulled in to the long driveway. There were no lights on to herald a safe haven. Annie wondered if she’d ever feel right again, if the sense of overwhelming confusion would ever go away. It was like she was walking a crooked path blindfolded, without any sense of what lay in store for her at the end.
“I’ll wait for you.” He turned the car off and folded his arms. “Take your time; nothing’s pressing me.”
“Cody…” Annie stared at him. “I’m going to take a shower and change my clothes. You can’t wait on me all that time.”
He leaned his head back against the headrest. “Sure I can. Get something to eat while you’re in there.”
She couldn’t let him do it. “Please, I’ll be fine. You go on—”
“You walking to my house?”
Annie put a hand to her forehead, rubbing lightly. “How silly of me. The car’s broken. I’m not thinking.”
“You’re thinking fine. You’ve got a million other things to think about right now. Go on.”
She managed a tired smile. “I think there’s some leftovers in the fridge, and maybe a soft drink or two. Come on in, so I won’t feel bad about you sitting out here.”
He grinned at her before opening the car door. “At least if I’m foraging in the kitchen, I might convince you to eat a bite.”
Annie shrugged and got out of the car. “I can’t think about food until I’ve had a shower. I feel like the smell of the hospital is clinging to my skin.”
He waited while she unlocked the front door. She reached to turn on a light. Nothing happened. “That’s strange,” she murmured. “Maybe it’s burned out.” Gingerly, she moved into the hall, stepping into the kitchen to feel along the wall. She flicked the switch, but the ceiling light didn’t come on. “I wonder what’s wrong?”
A hot flash of panic enveloped her. She didn’t need this right now, didn’t know if she could handle one more problem, trivial as this probably was.
“Hang on. I’ll check the box.”
She heard the sound of a lighter flaring, and a tiny flame illuminated Cody’s features. Annie drew in her breath. She’d forgotten how very much Cody resembled his brother. Without being able to see the shoulder-length raven hair and the feather earring Cody sported, he looked disturbingly like Carlos. Although Cody was like a brother to her, it hurt to see the resemblance. She turned away, unable to look at the face of the past. “The box is in the kitchen closet, and there’s a flashlight on the wall.”
He edged past her into the kitchen. A moment passed before he came back out of the closet. “I don’t see any problems.”
Annie frowned. “I don’t get it.”
“Me either.” In the flashlight beam, she could see concern in Cody’s eyes. “I feel dumb for asking, but did you pay your electric bill?”
She closed her eyes, suddenly feeling inadequate. “It’s still sitting on my dresser where I put it to be mailed.”
He chuckled. “Stress’ll do that to you. Still, it seems like they shut you down awfully fast.”
Annie turned away, not wanting her embarrassment witnessed. “We’re not what you would call a good credit risk, I guess.”
Cody pulled her gently around. “What are you saying?”
It was almost more than she could bear. Confessing her treacherous financial position would make it real, would make it impossible to ignore. She’d been holding on for so long, fighting, praying, desperate for anything to keep the monetary wolves at bay. But the pitiful wall she had erected against the odds was crumbling. “Things were bad when Carlos was alive, despite everything he did to save the farm. He almost had us solvent when he…had the accident. But since then—” Annie choked to a stop, fearing tears would spill from her eyes any second. A sense of nervous anxiety rose inside her, and she felt weak, defeated. “I’ve done everything I can, but it’s not enough. It’s never enough,” she whispered.
Cody gathered her into his arms. “You’re doing a great job, Annie. It’s tough for a lot of people right now. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Sobs racked her body. “You don’t know.”
He patted her back soothingly. “The banks are full of people desperate for assistance. You’ve done the best you can with almost nothing.” Cody leaned back, touching the flashlight beam to her face.
Annie was ashamed of the tears streaking down her cheeks, ashamed that she was falling apart. She looked a mess and felt worse, like an incompetent fool. Ducking her head, she tried to escape the searching glare of the light. “I’ve made so many mistakes.”
“Everybody makes mistakes.” He put the flashlight on the kitchen table, so the beam pointed to the ceiling. “I make mistakes, too,” he said, sliding into a chair. “So what? This one’s easy, anyway. I’ll go down to the electric company tomorrow and pay the bill.”
“I can’t let you do that, Cody.”
He pointed her into a chair. She complied, feeling too defenseless to stand up. Despite her reluctance to bare her disastrous economic situation, it felt wonderful to be able to unburden herself to someone she could trust.
Not like Zach. He would never understand how someone could get into such a bind. What did he know about sacrifice, about hard times? He’d pity her for being such a fool. And maybe his pity would be deserved.
“You can let me do it, Annie. I insist. You can pay me back later.”
Cody’s voice broke into her ruminations, spurring her memory. If you sold your land, you’d be well off financially. Ah, Zach’s honey-smooth voice, working to get what he wanted. Her land, her pride—her very soul.
Yet how much would all that be worth if she h
ad to go begging to family relations for handouts? Annie’s back stiffened at the thought. A small loan now to cover the electric bill, next week a little more to cover groceries. Then there would be the discreet charity: new school clothes for Mary, a pair of shoes now and again. All under the well-meaning guise of familial love, but she’d know. And it would cut her soul.
“I can’t let you do that, Cody. But you’re kind to offer. The check’s on my dresser, and I’ll run it down tomorrow.”
He shook his head. “Let me do it. You need to be at the hospital. It’ll take some time to argue with them about reinstating your service.”
Cody got up and crossed to the refrigerator, pulling out some soft-drink cans. Annie picked at one of her ragged nails. He was right; she did want to be at the hospital for the few short blocks of visiting time she was allowed. Allowing Cody to run the errand wouldn’t be such a great drain on her pride if she didn’t allow it to be. “Thanks. I’d really appreciate it.”
He popped the top, setting the drink in front of her. “Now that we’ve hashed that to death, why don’t you go take that shower? It’ll be shorter than you might have wanted, since the water’ll be cold, but maybe you’ll feel better. Or you can get a change of clothes and shower at our house.”
Annie jumped up from the chair. “No, that’s all right. The water won’t be too cold if I’m fast. I’ll be right back.”
Cody moved around the kitchen, guiding himself with the lighter. “Take the flashlight. I can find food in the dark.”
With uncertain fingers, she picked up the flashlight and walked slowly down the hall. Annie knew she’d feel more comfortable bathing in her own home, despite chilly water. She felt suffocated, as if it were almost a fact that she was going to become a philanthropy of the Aguillars’. A charity case. Annie knew Cody didn’t intend to make her feel that way, but she also had a funny feeling that her check was never going to be the one cashed by the electric company. Yet she’d acquiesced, realizing the fight was slowly ebbing out of her.
Ten minutes later, Annie made her way back into the kitchen with her mind and body stingingly refreshed. Cody had dug out an old kerosene lamp from somewhere and was opening a jar of salsa. Tortilla chips were in a bowl on the table, next to some cut vegetables.
“It’s not much,” he said, jerking his head toward the table, “but I’m afraid to make sandwiches. I don’t know how long the electricity’s been off.”
“It’s okay. I’m not that hungry. What you’ve put out looks great,” Annie said. She sat down at the table and shot a pointed look at Cody. “When you run that errand for me tomorrow, be sure you use my check,” she instructed.
“What are you saying?” Even in the dim light, she could see he appeared confused.
“I don’t want you paying my bills, Cody. Please understand that I have to be responsible for my own family.”
“I was planning on it.” He sat down across from her. “But I hope you realize what a long haul you’re in for.”
Annie picked up a carrot and munched it absently. “I think I do.”
Cody stared at her. “I talked to the doctor myself at one point. Even though your father came through his operation fine, he’s still got a long way to go. The doc says the recovery side is the hard part.”
Awareness crept into Annie’s brain. Cody was talking rehabilitation, which she’d figured meant working with her father some to keep his muscles fit. But the way he was talking, it sounded like money might be involved. “What else did he say?”
“You’re going to need some physical therapists to come and help you, Annie. You can’t do it all.”
“I always have,” she replied tartly.
“Okay.” Cody picked up a chip and dipped it into the salsa before eating it. “Let me get this straight. You’re going to raise Mary, take care of your invalid father, and bring in those crops all by yourself. Just trying to get Travis to do his exercises is going to be a major chore,” Cody said with a grin. “He’s not going to let you tell him what he’s supposed to do, Annie, and you know it. And did you get the part about your father having to wear shorts so his legs can heal where they stripped the veins for the bypass?” Cody broke into a snort of laughter. “I’ll be older than your father before I ever see him wearing anything but jeans for work and trousers for church.”
He shot her a wry glance. Annie sat still, feeling glued to the chair. Somewhere in her mind, she knew Cody was making sense, but didn’t want to acknowledge it. I can do it had always been her motto. It hurt not to be able to say it now and know it to be true.
“As I said earlier, I haven’t thought much past the urgency of the moment,” she said, feeling very weak even as she fell back on the truth.
Cody ran a hand through his hair before giving her a searching glance. “I know, Annie. God knows you haven’t had time to do much of anything. But your pride may cost you if you’re not careful. You’re going to have to let Ma and me help you out.”
Her shoulders sagged. “Maybe you’re right. But how are you going to run two farms?”
“I have some help I can spare. Plus my farm’s in good shape.” He stopped a moment, dragging his hand through his hair once more.
“You’ll run yourself ragged going back and forth,” Annie pointed out. “And you’re talking about a lot more than just helping me over a rough spot.”
Cody leaned back in his chair, studying her by the soft yellow light of the kerosene lamp. “It won’t be too much of a problem. But I’ve thought about this a lot, and getting married might make matters easier on both of us.”
Chapter Seven
Zach ripped a check out of his checkbook, stuffed it into an envelope with his father’s name on it, and tossed it on the edge of his desk for the secretary to mail. It was insanity, plain and simple, but after all this time he still felt responsible for Pop. A vision of the man he’d grown up with, hungry and without basic necessities, haunted him into writing that check.
Zach glanced around the office, noticing with relief that the calendar on the desk showed there were only a few days left until he was a free man. Two weeks after that, he’d be married and on to a new, better phase of his life.
The door opened and Carter poked his head in. “Got a minute?”
Zach nodded. Something his father had said was bothering him, and he wanted to ask Carter about it, so the visit was timely. “Sure. What’s up?”
“I just got a phone call that the bank is going to foreclose on the Aguillar land if the taxes aren’t paid up by the end of the year,” he said, strolling confidently into the room.
Carter paused, obviously expecting some reaction from Zach. When he didn’t respond, Carter sat down in a leather chair facing the desk and leaned forward. “This is a hell of an opportunity for us. It could be the sale we need in that area to put Ritter in a direct position to compete for commercial real-estate deals along the new state highway placement.”
Zach shook his head. “No. Fortunately for the Aguillars, they’re sitting on a bumper crop of corn. They’ll make their taxes. And anyway, I’m out of it.”
“You’re giving up on an opportunity Ritter should have.”
Zach shrugged.
Carter held up a hand. “Let’s talk about this.”
“I have nothing to say. Wrapping up my client load will keep me busy enough for the next three days. Someone else will have to go out there.”
Carter pursed his lips, studying him silently. “You’re awfully opposed to this. Did something happen out there you’re not telling me about?”
“Hell, no.” Zach wasn’t about to sit and have a tête-à-tête about the effect the Aguillar family had on him. “I’ve got a lot to do, and I wasn’t hot to take on another deal in the first place.” Zach met Carter’s eyes firmly. “LouAnn and I have a lot to do to get ready for the wedding, and it’s nearly impossible for me to be away now.”
That was all very true, but it wasn’t the real reason he wanted to wash his hands of the Agui
llar deal. The whole thing had been a mess from start to finish—he’d never had a deal go south on him as fast as that one had. And he’d never expected to find a ravishing, courageous woman on a run-down, dusty little farm in the middle of nowhere. The desire to bed her had risen up out of some primal place inside him he couldn’t name, nearly blinding him to common sense and decent behavior.
Hell, no. He wasn’t going back there.
He shook his head decisively. “LouAnn and I’ve got some details to iron out, so I’m taking her to dinner tonight. I may be in a little late in the morning,” he added.
Carter ignored that comment. “Let’s not be hasty. You might change your mind.”
Don’t hold your breath, was Zach’s immediate thought. Aloud, he merely said, “I don’t think so. And while we’re talking, what were you doing at my father’s house the other day?”
For a moment, Carter eyed him thoughtfully. Then he picked up the envelope Zach had finished addressing to his father, studying it for a moment. He looked at Zach, then purposefully held the envelope up to the hot, bright light streaming through the office window. Even Zach could clearly see the outline of a check through the paper.
Carter put the envelope back on the desk. “I wasn’t far from his neighborhood, so I stopped to let him know you’d been held over in Desperado. I didn’t want him worrying about you.”
Zach snorted. “Cut the crap, Carter. He hasn’t worried about me since day one. Pop told me you’d mentioned the land deal to him, and that it had fallen through. And you also told him about the earrings I gave LouAnn. Since when did you two become such bosom buddies?”
Carter gazed at him with soulful gray eyes. “Your father’s lonely, Zach.”
“Oh, jeez. Give me a break.”
“Well, he is. What does it hurt me to stop by and spend a few minutes with him?”
“What does it gain you, you mean. You told my father more about my life than I ever have. What I can’t figure out is why.”
Carter stood up. “I like your old man. And as I said, I was in the neighborhood.”
They stared at each other silently for a few minutes. Then Zach said, “Getting my father to goad me into finishing that deal isn’t going to work, Carter. I’m way past caring what Pop thinks about me.”