“Ethan, I’m here. What’s wrong?” I ask him but all I can hear is him sobbing. “Ethan, please speak to me.” I sit up in bed. Something is wrong. “Ethan.”
“Please come Lib, I need you.” He rushes the words out.
“Ethan, you need to take a deep breath and slow down. Tell me what’s wrong.” All I can think is something has happened to the baby.
I hear him trying to calm down. “Libby, the car it came from nowhere, there was nothing I could do.”
I look at Jeff who just seems angry, not at all concerned about my crying brother, his friend, on the other end of the phone.
“What car?” I ask. “Where are you?”
“At the hospital—it’s Lindsay, she’s in a really bad way.” He cries harder. My heart breaks for him. I jump out of bed still with the phone to my ear.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Hurry, please.” He ends the call.
Jeff watches me, his eyes are growing darker as I get dressed. “Where the hell are you going?”
“The hospital, there’s been a crash, an accident and Lindsay is in a bad way,” I tell him, putting my shoes on.
“You’re not going,” he says jumping out the bed. “I need you here. I have something you need to take care of.” My eyes run the length of him and stop when I see what he’s talking about. He holds his erection in his hand, drawing his hand back and forth on his length. He has got to be kidding me?
From the look in his eyes, he’s deadly serious about me taking care of his needs. “Jeff, I need to go and you should come too.”
“Oh, I’ll be coming alright, but you are going nowhere.”
“I’ve not got time for whatever games you’re playing tonight,” I snap as he walks toward me.
“Who says I’m playing games? I want you, now and badly. Look you can take care of my needs one way or another.”
He lifts his hand to my face, I flinch as he strokes my cheek. I can see the anger in his eyes.
“Jeff, get out my way. I need to go.”
“No.”
I push past him, but he grabs hold of me and laughs. That does it; he’s not the only one angry now. I lift my hand and slap it hard against his face and leave him standing in the middle of the floor. I rush downstairs and pick up my car keys and leave without looking back.
I’VE PUSHED JEFF TO THE back of my mind, because I don’t need to be thinking about him as I enter the hospital. He’s not worthy of my concern at the moment. I need to find Ethan and find out what’s going on. I ask at the reception of A & E; the receptionist types the details I’ve given her into the screen in front of her. A sadness sweeps over her face, only for a split second, but I do see it. She makes a call and within a minute I’m being shown to where Ethan is waiting for news about his wife.
Opening the door to the private waiting room, he rushes at me with floods of tears. I take him in my arms and just hold him for a few minutes, comforting him.
“Thanks for coming,” he says.
“Where else would I be? I couldn’t leave you on your own, knowing how much pain you’re in. If you’re in pain, so am I. You know this.” It’s true, as I walked through the hospital, I could feel my own pain getting stronger the closer I got to him. I know people think the whole twin thing is just rubbish. The connection we have and share, no it’s not rubbish, it’s very real.
“Come and sit down,” I tell him. We both sit down, I take his hand in mine. “Tell me what happened tonight.”
I take a deep breath and he turns to face me.
“I took Lindsay out for dinner. She’s been down for a few days. I think she just didn’t expect to feel like this when she stopped working. The room is ready for the baby, the house is spotless, she’s bored with nothing to do. I kept trying to say another few weeks and she wouldn’t be bored when the baby is here.” He takes a deep breath and sighs.
“We had a great night. The food was amazing and Lindsay looked so much better. I loved seeing the smile that was on her beautiful face tonight. The car came from nowhere; I couldn’t do anything to get out its way. The passenger’s side took the full impact. I can’t lose them. Libby, I can’t, I need them.
“They will both be fine.” But as the words leave me, I’m not so sure. We sit huddled together in the room waiting for some small piece of news. The reassurance that Ethan needs, that his family will be okay. Time seems to come to a complete stop, the hands on the wall clock don’t appear to be moving. It’s as though time has frozen still. After what seems like an eternity, the door opens and in comes a doctor.
The doctor explains all of Lindsay’s injuries, but Ethan doesn’t take in what the doctor is saying. I do, and I don’t like what I’m hearing. There is nothing more they can do for her; her body is shutting down. This isn’t what I was expecting. I thought at most they would’ve told us she has broken bones, but not this.
“What about the baby?” I ask as I say a prayer to myself. God couldn’t be so cruel to take them both from him.
“This is what I wanted to speak with Mr. Stewart about. Mrs. Stewart has made her wishes very clear,” the doctor tells us, but Ethan is sitting with his face buried in his hands sobbing.
“I’m sure she has,” I say, thinking about my childhood friend. She always knows what she’s going to do and I’m sure just now is no different. Determined, springs to mind.
“We are going to deliver the baby by an emergency C-section.”
“You can’t, Lindsay doesn't want that. She wanted as natural a birth as possible. No drugs if she could manage without them.” Ethan stands and shouts at the doctor. My brother is going to fall apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
“Mr. Stewart, your wife wants this, please,” the doctor says.
“What about her injuries? Wouldn’t moving her to a maternity hospital . . .” The doctor doesn’t let me finish.
“I will be doing the operation, here. Moving Mrs. Stewart would be putting the baby in danger as well.” I nod understanding what he’s trying to tell us.
“Is Lindsay awake?” I ask.
“She has been and I’ve spoken with her. But she has been drifting in and out since her arrival.”
I turn to Ethan. “Please, Ethan, you have to let the doctors do what’s best for the baby. I know Lindsay and this is what she would want.”
“What about what I want?” he cries. “I want my wife and baby and now . . . Now I’m only going to have one.”
The doctor looks on sympathetically, as I try to help him.
“Would Ethan be able to be there?” I ask.
“Of course, and given the circumstances, I’m sure we can arrange for you to be there as well.”
“I can’t sit and watch my baby being born knowing my wife is going to die,” he screams and leaves the room.
I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes, in an attempt to gather my thoughts. I can’t break down and cry—Ethan needs me. He needs me to be strong.
“Miss Stewart.” The doctor’s voice distracts my thoughts. “If you can get Mr. Stewart, someone will come and get you both when we are ready.”
The doctor leaves and I take my phone out of my pocket to call Ethan, when I see I have twenty-eight missed calls from Jeff. Twenty-eight—he knew where I was going. He could have come here for support. What the hell has got into him tonight? There are four text messages from him as well.
Libby you should really be at home with me.
I still have a matter that needs taken care of.
You should be at home with me not running around town after your brother and his tart.
Maybe I should get a tart of my own, or Ethan might share her.
Really, he thinks this will help his cause? The only thing it’s doing is making me angry and making me think back to my conversation with Kirsty earlier; she is right. How bloody dare he. Who the hell does he think he is? I feel used like some tart after his earlier treatment. I can’t believe he would say that about
Lindsay; he and Ethan are friends. He really has some nerve.
Kirsty. I should call her later. I need to talk with someone about Jeff. Ethan enters the room.
“Am I doing the right thing?” he asks.
“Yes and deep down you know it is. Lindsay wouldn’t want you to lose the baby, if it could be helped. I’m here for you Ethan; you know that.” I wrap my arms around him. “Someone will come and get us both shortly.”
“Will you stay with us?”
“Of course I will. Always.”
A nurse comes for us after about ten minutes of floor pacing from Ethan. We are shown where to go and wash and what to put on. We enter the emergency room where Lindsay is. Her eyes follow us as we cross the room to be with her.
I feel a pain grow within me as I look at her. My beautiful friend is fully aware of everything going on. That thought makes me so sad. I walk round and take the seat on the furthest side. I lean over and kiss her head softly, and take her hand. Ethan does the same, as he sits at the other side of her.
Ethan talks to her. Tells her a few things about his job, a new contract. He’s babbling on, because he’s not sure what to say for the best. She replies to him with short answers. I can hear her struggling with her breathing.
The room is eerily quiet as the doctors work away. I can only presume this is hard on them as well, given their job is to save lives. Only they will save a life today, a baby’s life.
A soft crying, halts all conversations.
“You have a beautiful baby girl,” the doctor announces.
I turn my attention to Lindsay; she has tears running down her face. From the moment she found out she was pregnant, she wanted a daughter. Ethan has tears in his eyes as well, as he gazes lovingly at his wife.
“Lucy Stewart,” Lindsay says.
The doctors place Lucy on Lindsay’s chest, Ethan holds his daughter there with his hand. Lindsay doesn't even have the strength to hold her on her own. She lifts her hand and gently strokes her daughter’s tiny head. The smile on her face is a mixture of love, happiness and sadness.
After a short time together, the doctor asks to speak with Ethan. Ethan asks me to go with him. He explains that other family members should be called now. So everyone can get a chance to say their goodbyes. Ethan really struggles hearing the words. The doctor urges him to go back into the room with her.
I stay with the doctor. He tells me that, although Lucy is very healthy and close enough to full term, that when the time comes, Lucy would be taken to the special care baby unit for a full check-up and observation for a few days. He stresses that it will only be for a few days, and it would give us time to make the necessary arrangements.
I leave Ethan with his family and make the calls, the first one to Lindsay’s distraught parents, then to my own. I know it won't take them all long to get here. I hover over Jeff’s name, but decide against calling him. I call Kirsty instead.
“Libby, what’s wrong?” she asks, answering almost instantly.
“Oh, Kirsty I’m at the hospital. There was a car crash; Lindsay is in a bad way.” I sob.
“Do you want me to come down? Is Jeff with you?” she asks.
“No and no. Listen, when I do eventually leave can I come and see you? I need to talk some things over and Ethan is going to have enough going on.”
“Of course you can come to me anytime. What about the baby?”
“They’ve just delivered a little girl by emergency C-section. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve just made the call to her parents and ours; the doctor said if there were other family members they should come in now. She’s not going to make it through the night.”
“Shit, are you sure you don’t want me to come there?”
“No, honestly I don’t know how long I’ll be here. We will need to sort things out for Ethan with the baby. He’s in no fit state just now, so I can only imagine how he is going to take this. I’m sorry to land this on you, but I do need to talk.”
“Look I’m here for you always. Just call me. I love you.”
“Me too.” I end our call.
I go back into the room, there’s only a doctor and nurse here now. Ethan has his tiny daughter in his arms. I melt watching him with her.
“Let Libby hold her,” says Lindsay. I smile at her even though I’m just a bit uncomfortable with the idea of holding this tiny bundle of joy.
I sit down and Ethan brings me Lucy and places her in my arms. He sits on the bed holding Lindsay’s hand. I glance down at the precious girl in my arms and in this moment, I know I will do everything I can for her. Take care of her, love her. I know it will never replace the love and care that her mother would provide. But I know I don’t want this little girl to go through any more unnecessary pain in her life.
Ethan leaves the room as soon as he sees our parents and Lindsay’s outside the room. I know he wants the doctor to speak with them all.
“Libby, will they both be okay?” she asks through tear-filled eyes.
“Yes, I hope they will. They will have me to look out for them,” I tell her because I do believe it will take Ethan a long time to recover from tonight.
Lindsay’s parents come in. Moria is struggling to hold it together, she sits on the bed and wraps her arms around her daughter. I stand, giving Tom my seat and hand him his granddaughter. His face lights up as he looks at her, then I see the sadness as he looks at Lindsay.
I go to leave.
“Libby, wait I want to speak with the three of you.” I turn and sit down. “I know I can rely on everyone to help Ethan with Lucy,” she says, her voice a little shaky.
“Oh, honey,” Moria sobs.
“Please, Mum, crying is not going to help. Libby, I would really like you to keep an eye on Ethan, keep him on track. You are the only one who can—and you won’t let him take advantage of you. I don’t want our daughter being passed about; I want him to bring her up, with a little help. Mum, I know you will try to do everything for both Ethan and Lucy, but do try and let him get on with it.”
Tom, Moria, and I all give our tearful assurances that we will all help. The four of us talk until my parents come into the room followed by Ethan. It’s not long until Lindsay closes her eyes for the last time and drifts away surrounded by the family that love her.
I watch on helplessly as my brother’s life crashes around him and he falls apart.
“LIBBY, SWEETHEART, YOUR DAD AND I are going to take Ethan home. He doesn’t want to go and see Lucy just now. Do you want to come with us?” my mum asks. Right now, Jane Stewart looks a lot older than her forty-five years of age. Her eyes are dark and red from crying. My dad, Phil, has his arm around her, comforting and supporting her.
“No, Mum, I’m going to stay. The doctor says there will be a few things needing sorting out. Moria and Tom are staying as well; they want to go to the baby unit and spend time with Lucy.”
“Will you be alright driving home?” she asks with concern in her voice.
“Yeah, Mum I’ll be fine. I won’t be far behind you, although I’m going to see Kirsty, then I’ll come and see Ethan before going to work.”
“Libby, I’ll send Luke a message and tell him what’s happened. You can have as much time off work as you need,” my dad tells me. “She was your closest friend as well; you need time as much as Ethan does.”
I kiss both my parents before they leave with Ethan. I tell him I’m going to see Lucy, but he’s not interested. I spend a few more hours in the hospital with Tom and Moria going over some details for Lindsay and spending time with Lucy. The doctor hopes that Lucy can go home on Saturday afternoon. He doesn't want to keep her away from Ethan too long. I tell the doctor that I will come with Ethan on Saturday to collect her. Moria and Tom thank me for staying at the hospital with them. They tell me they will come to Ethan’s around lunchtime today; well, it is after four am now, to start making arrangements.
The police also called round to see Ethan before he left, but he was in no fit state to speak with them.
They did tell us the other driver was in custody. I gave them all my details to get in touch with me. They will call at the house to see Ethan later in the day for his statement.
As I leave the hospital, I check my phone; Jeff has called repeatedly since I last checked and seen his twenty-eight missed calls. I can’t deal with him now, so I send him a text;
Still at hospital Lindsay didn’t make it but delivered a healthy baby girl before she passed.
Straight away he replies;
Your parents and Ethan got home a short time ago, so where are you?
Me; Still at hospital with Moria and Tom. I won’t be home before you go to work, but call me later to see where I am. I will probably be with Ethan
Jeff; I still need you
Me; Ethan needs me more I’ve no time for this
Jeff; Please Libby
I don’t answer him again. I just want to get away from here now.
I don’t drive straight to Kirsty’s instead I go in the opposite direction and before I know it I find myself in the hotel grounds. I just need to think. The peace and tranquility even if only for a few moments, because the next few days will be anything but peaceful. I park the car, alongside the loch. It’s raining now and the sun is just beginning to rise. Even though its raining and early in the morning I can feel the heat in the air.
I don’t bother with my jacket as I leave the car and walk along the Loch shoreline. The world around me is quiet, only the odd bird singing in the background. I love it out here, so beautiful even on this day. I stop and look around I’ve walked further inland than I would usually.
There are hills not far away and a small burn running in front of me. The rain is heavier now, it splashes as it lands on some rocks at my feet. I used to come here a lot, when I was younger when I needed to think. And now is no different, I have a lot on my mind; Jeff, Ethan, Lindsay and now of course the beautiful Lucy.
I look at the time I should really make a move, but part of me wants to stay standing here longer. This place seems to have a magical affect. All my troubles seem to disappear as I stand staring into the beautiful countryside I’m surrounded with.
Family Ties: A Captured Series Novella Page 2