by Ruth Thomas
Leaving the house, Mrs Winter had been quite worried. But arriving back, to find her daughter safe and sound after all, anger took the place of anxiety. She forgot her good intentions, she opened her mouth and launched into a tirade.
‘Don’t you go staying out like that again. You come straight home from school like I told you. Never mind if you’re in trouble. I know you’re in trouble. I’m in trouble an’ all because of you. What’s that you’re hiding?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Yes it is. What’s that under the bed?’ Mrs Winter dragged out the holdall and tipped its contents on to the floor. ‘What’s this then? Where d’you reckon you’re going with all this?’
‘Nowhere,’ said Julia, miserably.
‘You put all them clothes back where they come from. Go on – do it this minute, while I’m watching you. I can’t turn my back on you for a minute, can I!’
Helplessly, her mind a turmoil of frustration and fear, Julia did as she was told. Further screams of rage told her that her mother had discovered the mess in the bedroom. Julia thought of Nathan waiting in the empty house. She had no idea how she was going to get to him. Useless to ‘just run out’, as she had said. Too late she realized that she would only be followed and caught, if she did that.
‘Have you finished?’ Her mother was coming back to see. ‘Right – then you can get in the lounge and stay there. Where I can see you.’
The ‘lounge’ was a section of the original upstairs front room, now partitioned into two. It was well furnished, as was all the rest of the flat. Short on sympathy she might be, but Mrs Winter had done her best, with limited means, to make a comfortable home for the two of them. The other part of the original front room was the kitchen, and since you had to go through the kitchen to get to the lounge, and since Mrs Winter had started to work in the kitchen and showed no signs of going anywhere else, Julia found herself well and truly trapped.
‘I’m still waiting to hear where you really got that money from.’
Here it came, this was it. Julia sat in the armchair, bracing herself.
‘Julia!’
No answer.
‘All right, I ain’t got time to get it out of you tonight. Vince is going to be here any minute. You made me waste a hour, a whole hour, Julia, looking for you! But I’ll make you talk – don’t you make no mistake about that. Put the telly on for now, and try and look a bit human, for gawd’s sake!’
Julia sniffed, but did not move from the armchair.
‘I said put the telly on.’
Julia went on sitting.
‘All right, be like that! But I ain’t having you around with that miserable face when Vince comes. Gawd, it’s enough to turn the milk sour! You better go in your bedroom. You better go now. And don’t think I won’t be watching you stay there, because I will. I’ll bring you down some supper later on.’
‘I’m not hungry,’ said Julia, getting up to go.
‘Don’t talk so silly. Of course you’re hungry. You got to eat.’
Julia’s room was at the end of the long passage which led to the back of the house. The stairs were in the middle. Julia’s mother could see the top of the stairs from the kitchen as easily as she could see the lounge. Julia was still trapped.
Inside her cosy bedroom, Julia closed the door and tried to think of a way to get out of the house. She went to the window and looked down to the ground. But it was too far to jump, and there was nothing to climb down on, even if Julia had been any good at climbing. And anyway, there was only the tiny back garden below, surrounded by high walls with no access whatever to the road.
She lay on the bed in all her clothes, and presently she heard the doorbell ring, and her mother welcoming Vince in the hall downstairs. She heard their footsteps going into the kitchen, and then, a long time after, her mother’s footsteps coming down the passage – bringing the promised supper, no doubt.
Suddenly, Julia knew what to do. It might not work, but it was worth trying. She turned her face into the pillow and began breathing, deeply and evenly.
‘Julia?’
Her mother’s voice was a sharp whisper. Julia went on breathing. She sensed her mother standing there, not sure what to do. Then she heard her mother going out of the room. Some instinct kept her lying on the bed, still pretending to be asleep, and a moment later her mother came back, and Julia felt a blanket being placed over her, carefully so as not to wake her up. Then footsteps tiptoed out of the room and Julia was alone, the bedroom door left slightly ajar.
Confused, and irresolute now, Julia went on lying there. She couldn’t remember the last time her mother had tucked her up. Perhaps my mum does care about me after all, she thought. The home she was about to leave seemed extra cosy, suddenly, and secure. There were still the police, of course, but perhaps her mum would stand up for her – stand between her and whatever terrible things the police might want to do. If her mum would stand up for her, Julia thought, she would change her mind about running away.
Perhaps they were talking about her, her mum and Vince. Julia got out of bed and crept to the door of the lounge. She was not above listening in to other people’s conversations, she had done it plenty of times before. She might get caught, of course, but so what? Things could hardly be worse than they already were.
Julia put her ear to the door, and heard her mother’s voice ‘ . . . Anyway she’s done it now, she’s really done it now. She’s always been naughty, Vince, you got no idea, but she’s really been and done it now.’
Vince murmured something Julia couldn’t quite catch and then her mother’s voice, shrill and clear, came again. ‘But what am I going to do with her? You tell me, Vince, what am I going to do?’
‘How about beating her to an inch of her life, for a start?’
That was clear enough. Julia froze in horror.
‘That’s a good idea,’ Julia’s mother laughed. Of course she would never really allow Julia to be beaten but she thought Vince would expect her to laugh at his joke.
Julia crept back to her room. So they were going to beat her, and that was just to be the start! And her mother had actually laughed. How cruel! Julia looked for something to put her clothes in.
The canvas holdall, of course, was back in its place on top of her mother’s wardrobe. The only container she could find was the plastic bag she used for taking things to school. It was large enough for her underwear and the cardigans, but she had to leave the spare pair of shoes behind. She put her anorak on, because the evening was quite chilly now. She took a fresh twenty pound note from the packet of money round her waist, and put it in her anorak pocket. She was ready.
There was a new sound now – the television had been turned on in the lounge. It was evidently showing a cops and robbers film, and there were a lot of screeching cars and loud American voices.
Carefully, Julia opened the bedroom door a little wider and crept into the passage. Her heart was a drumbeat – almost drowning the sound of the television in the lounge. Suddenly the screeching cars and the American voices were twice as loud, and a shaft of light from the opened lounge door beamed through the kitchen and into the passage. Someone was going to the bathroom.
Julia slipped back into her bedroom and stood behind the door, hardly daring to breathe, hoping no one had noticed her stealthy movements. She heard the toilet flush, and Vince’s heavy footsteps returning to the lounge. Once more she crept out, and tiptoed this time to the head of the stairs.
Down the stairs. Why had she never noticed how loudly two of them creaked? The sound was like gunshot when you trod on them. Surely someone must come.
But no one did. The screeching cars and the American voices were coming from Mrs McCarthy’s flat now. The thunderous noise obliterated any sound Julia made crossing the hall, opening the front door, and stumbling into the street.
As fast as she could go, on ungainly legs, Julia ran to the end of the road. It hardly mattered if anyone saw her. The time was only half past eight on a summer
evening – not conspicuously late for an eleven-year-old to be out. Afterwards, when she was missed, when questions were asked, someone might remember seeing her. But by that time she and Nathan would be far away.
Now she was in the road where the empty house was. There were quite a few people in the street, and Julia knew she should be careful not to let anyone see her going in – but she was past caring, and come to think of it, that didn’t really matter any more, did it. If only Nathan hadn’t given up waiting for her, that was.
She pushed open the rotten door, and floundered into the passage. ‘Nathan, you there? You still there?’ she called.
He was there. He was crouching in a corner, on a pile of rubbish. ‘Shut up, Rat-bag,’ he told her fiercely. ‘You want everybody to hear?’
The tears, shaming and unbidden, were rolling from under his glasses down his cheeks.
‘Why you crying?’ Julia asked, in a hoarse whisper.
‘Nothing. I ain’t.’
Naturally, he wasn’t going to admit to her that he was crying with relief because she had come, when he had thought she wasn’t going to. When he had almost given up hope that she would.
‘Come on,’ he said, gruffly, ‘let’s go.’
‘Where?’
‘Let’s just go.’
Anywhere was better than here. Anywhere away from the strap, and the police, and the unknown horrors. ‘They’ll be looking for us soon, let’s go quick.’
‘All right, Nathan, I’m coming. I’m coming with you.’
It was all right now there were two of them. His confidence surging back, Nathan led the way out of the empty house, and Julia followed.
5
Taking off
They left by the back door. Ahead of them, at the end of the tiny concreted yard, were iron railings topped with sharp spikes. Beyond was the railway embankment, and in a deep cutting there were tracks where trains chugged or thundered past at intervals.
‘We’ll get on the line,’ said Nathan. ‘No one won’t see us there.’
‘Over that fence?’
‘Course.’
‘I can’t climb that.’
‘It’s easy.’ Lithe as one of his cats, Nathan sprang at the rails and vaulted the spikes. ‘Come on.’
‘I can’t.’
‘Come on. Someone’ll catch us if you don’t hurry up. They’ll be looking for us any minute.’
‘They won’t be looking for me. They think I’m asleep in bed.’
‘Well they’ll be looking for me. Besides, we aren’t allowed to be on the railway line.’
Julia looked for something to stand on. A tub which had once held flowers raised her high enough so that she could lift one leg, fearfully, over the railings. ‘Hold my foot,’ she told Nathan. She threw the plastic bag on to the embankment, and grasped the railing with both hands.
‘Jump now,’ said Nathan. He could see she wasn’t going to make it, but there was no alternative. Julia lurched clumsily, and her foot caught Nathan square in the face as they both crashed to the ground. There was the sickening sound of cloth ripping as Julia’s skirt tore on the spiked railing. Nathan’s glasses were kicked off, and Julia sat on them as she fell. Neither child was hurt, but the back of Julia’s skirt had a long jagged tear and Nathan’s glasses, when they found them, were cracked right across on one side. It was a bad start.
Julia stood up, to inspect the damage to her skirt.
‘Get down,’ Nathan hissed.
Julia sat in the long grass.
‘Right down,’ Nathan insisted.
‘You said no one wouldn’t see us here.’
‘They will if we stand up. We got to keep down in the grass. We got to crawl.’
They crawled on their stomachs, the long summer grass waving around them. Anyone looking out of the windows of the houses opposite could have seen them quite easily, but there was at least the illusion of cover. It was uncomfortable going. The ground was soft from the recent rain, but there were hard stones under the grass which were rough on knees and elbows. Julia felt her knees being rubbed raw. She didn’t think she wanted much more of this. ‘How much further, Nathan?’ she whimpered.
‘Not far. There’s a opening on to the road soon.’
‘But where we going after that?’
Nathan had no idea. ‘I dunno. Somewhere. A long way.’
‘Are we really running away, Nathan?’ She couldn’t wholly believe it, even now.
‘Course we are, stupid.’
A train pounded deafeningly past, only a metre or two from where they crawled.
‘Where’s that train going to?’ asked Julia, who hardly ever went anywhere.
‘Euston, I think,’ said Nathan, who had sometimes crossed London, visiting other members of his family.
‘Shall we go to Euston then? On a train?’
‘All right.’
It was as good a suggestion as any.
They reached the gate which led to the pavement. Nathan raised his head and looked carefully round, peering as well as he could through one cracked lens and one whole one.
‘Now!’ he said, delivering the command in a theatrical hiss.
They bolted through the opening, which was ankle deep in litter. There were a few people on the pavement outside, but no one took the slightest notice of the children. They were used to kids playing illegally on the railway line, and anyway it was none of their business. The children were, of course, open to be spotted by any of Nathan’s sisters who might have been sent out to look for him, but the risk was small as it was only a short step from here to the station.
When Nathan thought about his sisters he thought about his mum too – and then he made himself not think about his mum. He felt bad thinking about his mum. He even felt a little bit bad thinking about his dad. It made no difference though – he had to go, he had to.
‘I’ll get the tickets,’ said Julia, ‘and you hide. We don’t want the ticket man to see us together, he’ll think it’s funny.’
Nathan loitered outside the station, while Julia went inside.
‘Two tickets to Euston,’ she said to the man in the little office.
‘Halves?’ said the man.
‘Oh yes, halves,’ said Julia.
‘Returns, or singles?’
‘What?’
‘Are you coming back?’
‘No,’ said Julia. ‘Singles please.’
She’d forgotten about halves and singles. She’d almost slipped up there. She had a story ready about her sister, who was just coming to join her on the journey to Euston – but the ticket man was not interested. He was not even interested in the twenty pound note. Julia had another story to cover her possession of the twenty pound note, but no one wanted to hear it. The ticket man handed over the two tickets and the change, without comment.
Julia went outside to give Nathan his ticket, and the two passed separately through the barrier and down the steps to the platform. The train came soon, and they joined the other passengers in the big, yellow-panelled open carriage with the green and brown seats. No one challenged them, no one noticed them particularly. Even the cracked glasses and the torn skirt attracted no attention, it seemed. Now they were really on their way, it was all being almost too easy.
‘Are we really running away, Nathan?’ Julia asked again.
‘Yes!’
It was true. It was really happening. Julia’s knees felt weak; she was glad she was sitting down.
‘Are we nearly there?’ Julia asked.
‘Shut up,’ said Nathan, scowling, ‘What you keep asking that for?’
The train slowed down and they saw it: EUSTON, in big letters. ‘What does that say?’ asked Julia.
‘Can’t you read?’ said Nathan, forgetting that indeed, she could not.
Julia blushed, and turned her head.
The station was quite different from the friendly sunlit one they had started from. This station was covered over, dark and gloomy and somehow forbidding. The children sho
wed their tickets at the barrier, and walked up the long ramp to the entrance. The vast marbled hall they found themselves in amazed them – even Nathan, who had seen it before but forgotten how big it was. There was an appetizing smell of frying food coming from somewhere.
‘I’m hungry,’ said Nathan, who had had nothing to eat since lunch time, and Julia discovered that she was hungry too. They located a beefburger booth, one of several places in the station selling cooked food. They bought beefburgers and cans of Coke and looked for somewhere to sit down. There were very few seats, so they sat on the floor.
They ate ravenously, in silence. ‘I’m going to have another one,’ said Nathan. He was discovering the joy of having unlimited funds. You could have two beefburgers if you liked – three if you wanted them. Julia bought two bars of chocolate instead of another beefburger. She felt a little sick after she had stuffed them down, but she was beginning to enjoy herself. Running away was all right, she decided, though there was still a nasty sinking frightened feeling, somewhere in the depths of her stomach, nothing to do with the chocolate, when she remembered what an awful thing they were doing.
There were other people sitting on the floor besides Julia and Nathan. Some of them looked rather peculiar. ‘They been drinking too much beer,’ said Nathan, disapprovingly.
Those who had been drinking too much beer were taking no notice of Julia and Nathan. But one or two other people were beginning to give them funny looks. ‘Let’s go now,’ said Julia. ‘Somebody might ask us what we’re here for.’
‘All right. I’m tired now anyway.’
‘Where we going to sleep?’
‘Dunno. Somewhere.’
Until that moment it had not really registered in either of their minds that they had no bed for the night. They contemplated the harsh reality with some misgivings.