by S. J. Sylvis
My eyes slowly opened, enjoying the little bit of sunshine coming through the window, but then I felt something tickling my long eyelashes. Whatever it was, it was making a strange, scratchy sound. I reached my hand up and felt a thin piece of paper.
It peeled from my skin in one slow movement, and once my eyes adjusted, I tried to make out the words on the bright yellow sticky-note.
I sat up and looked around, realizing that I was in Luke’s bed, covered by a dark grey, fluffy blanket. A smile slowly formed on my lips and excitement shot through my body. I shook my head and held the paper in my hand, scanning it quickly:
Doc,
Had to go to base to help with clean-up. You almost bit me when I tried to wake you up. I’ll see you later.
* * *
Soldier boy (Big, mighty Marine)
P.S. Please don’t regret last night…
I was swooning over the last sentence of his note. I couldn’t regret it even if I tried. I didn’t even regret it as I felt my swollen middle ache with every movement I made. I couldn’t regret it and I couldn’t (wouldn’t) forget it. Last night would forever be burned into my memory. Luke would forever be burned into my memory.
Eighteen
On the way over to my house, I made sure that the cat underneath Luke’s porch had made it through the hurricane safely. It had, thankfully. If it had died, it definitely didn’t die underneath there. Our street was lined with fallen leaves and several tree limbs, but from what I could see, there wasn’t any excessive damage. Both of our houses looked okay. The yards were a mess, but it could have been much, much worse.
I ran into my house with a little pep in my step despite the awkward movements I had to use because my vagina felt like it was three times its normal size. I secretly liked it, though; it just kept reminding me of last night and the most amazing time I had ever had.
Luke took my body and treated it like it was gold. Every touch was full of caring caresses. He knew how to take care of my body, and I liked it. Scratch that, I didn’t just like it…I loved it.
After taking a quick shower and throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt, I was on my way to grab some food and then start cleaning up my yard. The power was still out and my phone was dead as a doorknob, so I would have to wait to contact my mom and JoJo to let them know I was okay.
The second I put the untoasted strawberry Pop-Tart up to my mouth, I heard my door open. I glanced into the long hallway and a smile overtook my face. Butterflies lifted me up so high I could have touched heaven.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, as Luke walked down the hallway to stand in front of me.
His eyes bounced back and forth between mine, and I found myself doing the same. Neither of us said a word. We only exchanged hungering looks with one another. I didn’t realize it at first, but I was actually holding my breath.
“You know how we said that last night was a one-time thing?” he asked right before his tongue darted out and licked his lips.
I replied by nodding my head very slowly, all while staring at his mouth. I longed for it. I wanted it on my mouth.
“Can we maybe make it a two-time thing? Or a three-time thing?” My eyes left his mouth as I peered up at him. I already knew my answer was yes.
“Let’s just make it an all-the-time thing…” I whispered, and a devious look overtook Luke’s face. He reached for me quickly, causing me to drop my Pop-Tart on the floor at the same time that he scooped me up.
I squealed, “What are you doing?”
“Like you have to ask?” He started to walk me back to my bedroom, my legs flopping on his front as my hair hung down over his back. “I’m taking you to bed, Cammie.”
I squealed again and cackled with laughter as he threw me on my bed and went to claim me, once again.
* * *
Luke was gone by the time I woke up the next morning. We had spent the entire day and night together, tangled in my sheets. We ate cold Pop-Tarts for energy, played truth or dare (*kinky truth or dare*), and spent all night laughing at one another. Luke made me laugh, and he made me laugh hard. He was funny, even more so when he wasn’t picking on me.
After having sex, for the third time since the previous night, we rinsed off in my overly small shower, and then tumbled into my bed and fell into a deep sleep.
This morning as I stood over my steaming coffee, waiting for my phone to regain some battery (thankful that the power came back on), I realized I felt liberated. I felt like I was alive again. I was actually looking forward to something. I hadn’t looked forward to something for so long. My life had been on repeat, just getting through each day, and I hadn’t even realized that I was a complete zombie.
Luke had somehow put the life right back into me.
I grabbed my phone the second I saw it finally come to life. I wanted to make sure to let everyone know that things were okay before I went outside and started to clean up the yard. I first texted my dad (yes, maybe sex with Luke had softened my bitchy outer shell…whatever), then I shot my mom a quick email explaining that I was fine and so was the house.
Then I smiled and dialed JoJo’s number, excited to tell her about my night. She would be proud, and just as elated as I was.
She answered on the first ring and I giggled, realizing that I was literally prancing around my kitchen; that’s how excited I was. I was dancing like a freaking lunatic.
It was JoJo’s surprised voice that had me stopping in my tracks. Holy shit, I hadn’t been this happy in…at least a year? That said something, right? I was already finding myself bending the rules for Luke; it was like sex with him was a cure or something.
I was pretty sure it could cure anything at this point.
JoJo laughed, “What the hell is going on over there, Cammie?”
I laughed, too. “Oh, Sista. You are never going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”
“Is everything okay? The house?”
I pulled out the bag of chocolate chips from my pantry and ripped it open, laughing again when they spilled all over my island. “Oh yeah, it’s fine. You guys are good, right?” I asked, getting ready to spill the good news.
“Yeah, the hurricane didn’t even touch us at Ryan’s parents’.”
“Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s talk about the really exciting shit.” I started to make a really pitiful rendition of a drumroll, and JoJo laughed even harder. “LUKE AND I DID IT!” I exclaimed.
“Did what?”
“We did it. The deed. We did the deed…three times! He buttered my biscuits, and let me tell you, they were buttered to perfection.” I sighed. “JoJo, I have no idea why I didn’t take your advice before. Luke and I are…” I couldn’t even come up with words. “See, I’m speechless! That’s how good it was!” I was basically yelling at this point, but I slowly stopped cleaning up the chocolate chips when there was silence on the other end of the phone.
I pulled it away from my ear, seeing that JoJo’s name was still on the screen.
“JoJo?” I asked, making sure she was still there.
She cleared her throat, “Yeah…uh.”
My heart started to descend to my lower stomach “What?”
“Um,” JoJo started to stutter. Nothing good ever came from when she stuttered. “Cammie—“
“What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
I could hear her shutting a door in the background. “Ryan told me last night that a few guys were being pulled in for support for some troops in Afghanistan.”
My stomach ached painfully. “Is Ryan going?” I basically screamed, “He just got back!”
Her voice was low, “Ryan’s not going.”
“Oh, okay. Well, then, why are you being weir—” My mouth fell open and my eyes traveled to my kitchen window, over in the direction of Luke’s.
“Oh…” I started, but she interrupted me.
“I thought he would have told you. They found out days ago; Ryan just mentioned it last night in passing.”
I was silent, at a loss for words. He didn’t tell me. He didn’t tell me he was leaving. For how long? Is it going to be dangerous? I rolled my eyes at the thought. Of course, it’ll be dangerous. It’s a fucking war zone. I slapped my hand onto my forehead, cursing myself.
And just like that, all the giddiness and happiness I had felt seconds ago disappeared so fast I couldn’t have held onto it if I’d tried.
He didn’t tell me. He fucked me senseless, sank his claws into me, knowing he was leaving, and he just didn’t tell me.
He didn’t tell me.
He didn’t fucking tell me!
I busied myself with cleaning up my yard for the next two hours. Sticks, broken branches, and lone leaves spilled all over the place…it was a good distraction, but as soon as I heard the rumbling of Luke’s engine and saw him hopping out of that sleek car with a lazy smile on his face, pointed right in my direction, I dropped the bundle of sticks in my arms and marched right up to him.
He was leaning against the hood of his car, probably ready to spew some sexual comment, but when he saw the look on my face, his smile fell.
“Cammie?” his voice held an uncertainty in it.
I crossed my arms, breathing deeply before I spoke. “Were you going to tell me?”
My face stayed even and my eyes stayed dry. I didn’t want to give away too much emotion. I wasn’t very tough on the inside, but at least I could be tough on the outside.
Luke stood on the sidewalk, scanning my face, no doubt trying to come up with a justifiable excuse.
“When do you leave?” I asked with such a coldness in my tone that it even surprised me. His jaw visibly clenched.
He croaked, “Two days,” and then he looked away. He knew this would be an issue for me, regardless of whether we slept together or not. I considered him a big part of my life and now that I had officially recognized that he had weaseled his way into my heart, I was doomed.
I laughed loudly and it sounded just as sarcastic as I’d hoped.
“Don’t act like that, Cammie.” He propped his hands up his on hips, just below his dark t-shirt.
I spanned my arms out wide, not giving two shits if the neighbors were about to watch us throw down, because that’s exactly what we were going to do.
“Don’t act like what? Mad that you fucked me senseless THREE times, and then failed to tell me you were leaving for a deployment in TWO days?” I propped my hands on my hips, feeling the anger form all around me.
“How could you? How could you not tell me, for starters, and then act like nothing was wrong the last two days? What the hell, Luke!” I was full-on yelling now. Even the birds were listening in the trees, munching on popcorn, enjoying our little daytime drama.
Luke rolled his eyes and I could sense the irritation rolling off his shoulders. “I hardly thought it mattered. You were the one who pointed out that it was,” he took his fingers and made air quotes, “a one-time thing.”
I rolled my eyes right back at him. “Cut the bull-shit, Luke. We both knew it wasn’t a one-time thing. Plus, we kind of abolished that yesterday when we made it a three-time thing!”
He groaned, taking his hands and rubbing his face harshly, “Well…”
I put my hand up to shush him. “Why would you do that?” My voice came out weak and I could feel the anger slowly slipping away, and we all know what comes after anger: pain.
“I’ve had some other things on my mind, Cammie.”
I stepped back, pushing my arms out questioningly. “Like what?” My eyebrows furrowed, expecting to hear some elaborate answer.
“Just stuff…”
I laughed again, harsher this time. “Oh, great. Now we’re being cryptic. Whatever, Luke.”
I started to walk away (okay, I stomped away like a three-year-old) and he called after me, “Cammie, come on.”
I spun around quick, finding him on my heels. “There is no ‘Cammie, come on,’ leave me alone, Luke. After all, it hardly matters, right?” I threw his words right back at him and I saw a glimpse of pain through those light green eyes.
I hoped he felt just as betrayed as I did.
I ran up my steps and through my front door and slammed it shut, rattling the picture frames along my wall.
Luke yelled through the door, “So this is how we’re going to leave things? Like this?”
I yelled right back, nose touching the door. “Yep!” Then I turned around and rested my back on the door, sliding myself slowly to the cool floor, willing the tears to stay away.
His voice was softer now, hurt, even. “I’m sorry, Cammie. I should have told you sooner.”
I sniffled, pushing myself off the floor and walking all the way to my bedroom. I glanced at the photo of Alex on my dresser before collapsing onto my bed and crying my eyes out.
The sucky thing was, I had no one to blame but myself.
Nineteen
The night passed without another peep from Luke. I wasn’t falling into his trap again. If he wanted to act like our little cat-and-mouse relationship meant nothing to him, or that “it hardly mattered,” then I would do the same.
I didn’t leave my house once last night, and then today I crawled into the kitchen on my hands and knees so I wouldn’t be tempted to look through the window right across from his.
No. I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t fall for his shit again. He was leaving, anyway. There was no point. Right?
Wrong. I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was hooked on Luke and even when he did leave tomorrow, I knew I would still be worried regardless of whether we reconciled or not. I cared about him, even if I was angry.
And I was definitely still angry. The anger was still there on the surface, lying right on top of anxiety over the fact that he was going back to Afghanistan.
Three loud bangs on my door had me squealing and falling off my couch with a loud thump.
My heart was straining in my chest as I lay on the ground like a fucking Ninja. I knew it wasn’t JoJo at my door; we had just talked a few hours ago and she was still in Raleigh with Ryan. That meant it was Luke. I pressed my face flat on the floor, thanking God that I’d shut my blinds so he couldn’t peek through the window.
I looked over at the clock. It was four p.m.; he would be gone tomorrow at this time.
Three more loud bangs ricocheted off my door, then his rough voice muffled through it, “Cammie, open up!”
“No!” I yelled, still lying on the floor in my robe. Okay, so sue me. I was wallowing in my robe with a half-eaten pizza on my coffee table with Twilight possibly playing on the TV.
“I swear to God, I will break the door down; don’t tempt me.”
I thought for a second…he was a Marine, which meant that he could definitely break down the door if he wanted to. Hm, I think I’d like to see him try.
“Go right ahead.”
A pregnant pause passed and I thought that maybe he’d given up. I started to inch up on my hands and knees, but then slammed my body back down to the floor when I heard a jingling noise. My eyebrows folded inward as my gaze landed on the doorknob…which was twisting ever so slowly.
Before I knew it, the door swung open and Luke stepped inside my house. My mouth was open wide, and when he found me on the floor, he tilted his head and let out an exasperated sigh.
“What’re you doing?” he mumbled, raising one eyebrow. I tried really hard not to focus on how perfect he looked with that tiny scar in between his raised eyebrows, but I fell a little short.
“Just checkin’ out the floor,” I answered, resting my forehead on the coolness of the wood.
“Cammie,” he whispered and I suddenly found myself maturing during the next three seconds, so I slid up on my hands and knees and stood slowly, adjusting my robe so that I could hide all my body parts. I mean, I hadn’t expected company, so the fact that I was completely commando underneath my cotton robe was totally acceptable.
His eyes filtered over my body and I felt myself involuntarily squeeze my legs s
hut. Great, now that I had actually had his dick inside me, it was all I wanted. I’d never tried drugs before, but I was guessing that Luke’s dick had very similar addictive qualities.
Luke stalked towards me, so I stepped backwards, all the way until my back hit the wall. Damn you, tiny house!
He stood before me, towering with a glint of helplessness in his eyes. We stood there, inches apart, both of our chests rising rapidly. Should I slap him? Or should I kiss him? Fuck, make up your mind, Cammie.
Slap, it is.
I raised my right hand, preparing to smack him in the face, but he caught it just centimeters before I felt his skin on my palm. He held my wrist softly and lowered his eyes toward me. I tried to whip my wrist out of his grasp, but he tightened his grip. His eyes fell to my lips and my eyes did the same.
The air crackled with an angry tightness and the only way I knew how to release it was to either push him away or pull him in closer. He must have had the same thought because when his lips touched mine, I instantly melted into his body.
He quickly let go of my wrist and I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His hands were in my hair, pulling and tugging just as I was doing to his. He groaned and I moaned. We sucked on each other’s mouths until they were swollen and puffy. He quickly yet softly lowered my body to the hardwood floor and ripped the shirt off his back.
I ran my fingers down his defined muscles and stifled a moan. He peeled the robe off my shoulders, quickly untying the thin string that was tied so loosely in the front. When he saw that I was completely naked underneath, his eyes widened and he dipped down to suck on my breast at the same time his bare palm grabbed my thigh.