Tears stung Miranda’s eyes. In another world, one where Simone was alive and well, her father would’ve been happy to pass on his skills to the next generation. In this world, her father hadn’t picked up a carving tool in at least two years. “Maybe. But I think today we need to focus on Grandma. Okay?”
“Okay. How can we help?”
“Well, I thought we could offer to help her clean up a little bit. She has a hard time organizing, so I thought maybe if we helped her, then she would be able to get a start on a very big job. Now, here’s the important part and I need you to pay attention.... Grandma’s really sensitive about her house. So try to remember not to make a comment about if it smells or if it’s disgusting. We don’t want to hurt her feelings. Okay?”
“Does it smell like fish? Fish stink. Mamu’s kitchen always smells gross when she makes her fish stew.”
Miranda laughed. “I don’t know what it will smell like but it likely won’t smell good. But try to think of it as an adventure. A smelly adventure.”
Talen nodded. “Okay, Mom. Maybe we’ll find buried treasure.”
Hopefully we don’t find a buried body, Miranda thought with a mild shudder. There was no telling what they’d find in that mess.
They pulled up to the house and Miranda shot a quick look at the shop before heading to the front door and letting herself in. As before, the front door was nearly blocked by junk and she had to push to gain entrance. “Mom? Are you here? It’s me and Talen. We’ve come to visit.”
Her mother appeared from what used to be Simone’s room and quickly shut the door behind her, a startled expression on her face. “You should have called. I didn’t know you were coming.”
“We wanted to surprise you.”
“I’m surprised.” Jennelle’s eyes lit up with genuine joy when she saw Talen. “There’s my beautiful grandson. Come and give your grandma a hug.”
Talen walked tentatively over the mounds of stuff to his grandmother and gave her a good squeeze. “We’ve come to help you clean your house. It’s a real mess.”
Miranda winced when Jennelle arched her brow and shot Miranda a dark look over the top of Talen’s head. “Oh, is that so? And here I hoped it would just be a visit for a visit’s sake.”
“It’s going to be an adventure, Grandma. We might find buried treasure!”
Miranda smiled wanly and shrugged, and before her mother could shoot her down, Miranda jumped in quickly. “I thought about what you said and thought maybe I could be more helpful rather than critical,” she added. “So, here I am with Talen, hoping we can help you get a little more organized. What did you used to say? Many hands make for light work,” she reminded her mother.
Jennelle’s gaze softened and she nodded. “Yes, I did used to say that.” She glanced around, distress in her eyes as she struggled with her own issues, and Miranda held her breath until Jennelle reluctantly agreed to some help. “I suppose I could use some help organizing some of these things.”
“Maybe we should start in the kitchen?” Miranda suggested, even though she had a sinking suspicion it was probably a hazmat zone.
“No, I’d rather stay in this room,” Jennelle said. “Besides, I rarely cook any longer, so it’s not imperative that it be in tip-top shape.”
Yes, but shouldn’t you be able to at least reach the stove without fear of toppling something over? Miranda bit her tongue and smiled instead. “Okay, we can tackle the kitchen another time,” she said, trying for compromise.
Armed with trash bags and plenty of patience, Miranda, Jennelle and Talen worked all day to clear a spot in the living room but it was painfully slow going as Jennelle was being an obstacle to their overall success.
“That’s not trash,” Jennelle said stridently just as Miranda was about to toss a magazine that was at least five years old and had water damage.
“Mom? Are you kidding me?” Miranda asked, losing her patience. “It’s ruined and it’s outdated. What could you possibly want with this magazine?”
“I haven’t read it yet.”
Miranda turned it over and glanced at the cover. “News flash—none of this is relevant any longer. In fact, it’s so outdated that some of these people aren’t even alive anymore!”
“Maybe I was going to clip recipes or coupons.”
“Come on. You can’t be serious.”
“I am serious. Put it down.”
“Where?” Miranda asked. “I don’t have a pile for outdated, useless trash. Oh, wait, yes I do. It’s called the living room!”
“And there it is. I knew your offer to help came with hidden agendas. You can’t just listen to me when I say I don’t want people telling me how to live my life. I think we’re done tidying up for today,” she announced.
“We still have hours’ worth of cleaning to do,” Miranda said, irritated. “We should keep going.”
“I don’t want to keep going. I want to rest. Being with you and your constant criticism is exhausting.”
“I didn’t say a word today until just now,” Miranda pointed out. “And I thought you said you wanted to spend more time with Talen? Well, if that’s what you want, then you have to clean up this mess because it’s unsanitary.”
Jennelle looked offended and her bottom lip trembled. Talen stood off to the side, his trash bag in his hand as he waited with a worried expression. Miranda drew a deep breath and knew if she didn’t end things right now, a fight was going to happen. She backed down with a choked apology. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m just trying to help.”
“Yes, well...” Jennelle sniffed, communicating just how little she thought of her daughter’s brand of help. She ignored Miranda and smiled for Talen’s sake. “I had a lovely time with you, little man. Next time we’ll have to meet at the park and have lunch.” She shot her daughter a look. “If your mother approves, of course.”
“That’s not fair,” Miranda said in a low voice. “You never stop hitting below the belt, do you?”
“I’m merely saying—”
“I know what you’re saying and it’s bullshit.” Jennelle’s eyes widened at Miranda’s foul language but Miranda didn’t care. “Talen, get your things. It’s been a long day and it’s time to go.”
“But Grandma’s house still stinks,” Talen said, looking worriedly at the mess.
Miranda glared at her mother as she helped Talen into his coat. “Grandma likes it that way,” she said with disgust. “Let’s go.”
They left and Miranda felt deflated. She’d tried to make her mother feel safe enough to trust her with the cleanup but each item seemed to have some special significance in Jennelle’s life. Mostly all they’d done was move piles around. Jennelle had only allowed Miranda to throw away the equivalent of one garbage bag in an entire day of work.
What a waste of effort.
“Why is Grandma so messy?” Talen asked as they drove home.
“I don’t know,” she answered her son. “She didn’t used to be that way. She’s different now.”
“Why’d she change?”
“I think when Aunt Simone died, Grandma’s heart and mind changed,” she said. “But only Grandma knows for sure. Thanks for all your help today. You were awesome and I think you deserve some hot cocoa for that.”
Talen smiled. “I don’t mind. Someone has to help Grandma because she’s all alone. Except for the ghost but I don’t think they talk all that much.”
Miranda didn’t know if Talen meant a figurative ghost or a literal one. She hoped it was figurative. That was all she needed to deal with on top of everything else—a real ghost haunting her damn mother’s house!
“Well, we managed to clear the sofa enough for people to sit somewhere,” she said, trying to look for anything positive so it didn’t feel as if the whole day was ruined.
“Yep. And now Grandma ca
n stop sleeping in the bathtub.”
“Bathtub?” Miranda was appalled. “Why do you think she sleeps in the bathtub?”
“I saw blankets and a pillow in there.”
Miranda didn’t know what to say. She swallowed and forced a smile. “Yeah, a sofa is probably far more comfortable than a bathtub to sleep.” Lord have mercy... She hoped Trace got here soon. She was this close to turning her mother over to the authorities and letting them sort everything out. Somehow, she had to push from her mind the knowledge that her mother was sleeping in the bathtub because she’d been pushed from her own bed by her disease. If she didn’t, she’d turn the car around and drag her mother out by her ear and demand that she come to her senses.
Not that it would work.
Her mother had a stubborn streak that was damn near legendary.
Kind of like her own, she mused.
She thought of Jeremiah and her stubborn refusal to send his letter of recommendation for her when she’d submitted for that position. He’d been right: she had been cutting her nose to spite her face but she’d been angry and hurt.
Now she just felt stupid.
How did she manage to keep making dumb decisions that could potentially affect her entire future? She glanced at Talen and felt an overwhelming surge of love and despair. She wanted the best for Talen...but so far she’d done a terrible job of providing it.
How was she supposed to fix that?
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
IT’D BEEN TWO WEEKS since Jeremiah and Miranda had said their piece to one another and in that time Jeremiah had done plenty of soul-searching. He’d vowed to make some changes in his life, starting with one very important thing.
As he pulled Tyler’s pictures from the box, he was bowled over by the wash of emotions they stirred—both happy and sad. When he wasn’t sure if he could suppress the sadness, he let it knock him down and he sobbed until his voice was hoarse and his nose ran with snot. It was an ugly cry, the kind they never show in the movies, because sometimes human biology was gross.
But when he emerged from that dark place, his soul felt light. He knew there would be more tears and more grief but each time there would be less. This was the process he was supposed to go through when Tyler had died but he’d run away from it, refusing to succumb to the natural stages of grieving. Perhaps by not grieving, his subconscious was made to believe that he could pretend that his son hadn’t died. Who knew? All he knew was that it felt good to remember Tyler and look at his pictures without immediately shying away from anything that had to do with his son.
For the first time since Tyler had died, he wasn’t afraid to think of the good times, which made him remember that he’d loved being a father. Did he have what it took to be someone else’s father? He didn’t know but he felt ready to try.
Of course, first, he had to convince Miranda, and after his grand and noble speech in bed that night, he might have to do some serious groveling.
Jeremiah drove to Miranda’s house, and when he began to knock, he realized his palms were sweating. Miranda opened the door and startled when she saw Jeremiah. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “It’s the weekend.”
“I know. I’m here to talk. Can I come in?”
“My son is here.”
He wasn’t sure if she was saying that for his protection or to put a wall between them but he was ready to show her that he was making changes. “I would consider it an honor if you would allow me to meet him.”
“Excuse me?” She eyed him suspiciously. “Have you been drinking?”
He smiled at her confusion, and even though it was freezing outside, he was prepared to stand there and explain himself even if it took all night. “I said a lot of things and they were true at the time but I’ve had some time to really think about how I’ve been structuring my life and I realized I was being an idiot.”
“It’s only been two weeks. What kind of grand epiphany could you have possibly had in two weeks?”
“A big enough one to set some necessary changes in motion.”
“Such as?”
“Such as finally seeing a grief counselor,” he admitted. “I’m set up for regular appointments every week. I’ve already seen my counselor twice and I’ve made promising strides. I’ve even hung Tyler’s pictures on the walls.”
Her eyes widened and she lost some of her attitude. “Are you okay? That must’ve been so hard.”
“It was. Hardest thing I’ve done since attending my son’s funeral but you were right. I can’t stop living. My son wouldn’t have wanted me to curl up and die with him and that’s essentially what I did. I mean, on the surface I seemed fine but deep down I was destroyed. I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ve begun the rebuilding process and I would like to know if you would be willing to rebuild with me.”
He held his breath until it hurt. He knew she was struggling because he’d hurt her pretty bad but he could only hope that she sensed how serious he was about making things work.
“Why?” she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes. “And what if you change your mind? I can’t put Talen in that position where someone comes and goes from his life. If you’re on board, you can’t jump off when the path gets rocky. There are things in my past—very unflattering and embarrassing things that you might not want to know. I was a different person at one time. I was self-destructive and did a lot of things that I’m ashamed of before I had Talen.”
“No one is an angel and I would never put that expectation on you.”
“My family is so screwed up. I tried to help my mom clean up her place but it didn’t end very well. This isn’t a problem that can be wished away or handled with a day of cleaning. Likely, this is something I’m going to have to deal with a lot in the coming months.”
“I’ll do whatever I can to help you through it.”
She made an exasperated sound. “Stop being so accommodating,” she said. “This is serious.”
“And I’m being serious.”
“What about my position? How are we going to get around Stuart and his stand on office dating?”
“That’s not going to be a problem.”
“Why isn’t it?” She paled. “Are you firing me?”
He chuckled. “No, you goose. It’s not official yet but I have it on good authority you’re going to get a call tomorrow with an offer.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Oh, my God, did Stuart say something to you?”
“Let’s just say my letter went a long way toward pushing him in the right direction.”
“You sent the letter?”
“I did.”
“Even when I told you not to?”
“Are you mad?”
She allowed a tiny, giddy smile as she admitted, “I’m relieved. I was being stupid. Thank you.”
“No, you were angry and hurt. Never stupid. I’ll always have your back. Even when you don’t want me to.” Her smile warmed and he knew he was making the right decision. “I’m not interested in jumping anywhere without you. If you’ll let me, I’ll go the distance with you and Talen.” He took a step toward her, and she flattened against her front door but gazed at him with longing. “We can go slowly. I want to spend time with you and your son. I want to ease into a relationship with him so he knows he can trust me, too.” She smiled and a tear slipped down her cheek. He wiped away the moisture with the pad of his thumb. “Say you’ll give me another chance....” he murmured just before claiming her mouth and pulling her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, her answer in her kiss. God, he loved this woman. He loved her more with every passing moment and the fact that she felt the same made him giddy as a teenager.
When they finally broke the kiss, her lips were swollen and reddened—and she’d never looked more be
autiful. “I got the job?” she whispered.
“You got the job,” he confirmed.
“Then it doesn’t matter who sees us kissing right now?”
“Not at all. Unless your neighbors simply enjoy a show.”
She giggled and pulled him to her for a second kiss. “All right,” she said softly against his lips. “How do we start this?”
“You could invite me in for dinner....” A slow grin crept across her face and caused him to ask, “What’s that for? You don’t eat?”
“I don’t cook.”
He matched her smile. “Then you’re one lucky woman. I’m an excellent cook. Show me what I have to work with and I’ll knock your socks off.”
She laughed and grasped his hand to lead him inside. There were pictures of her son everywhere, just the way a normal house with children should. He smiled privately when the anticipated painful zing was merely an echo of what it used to be and he knew for certain he was ready.
“Talen,” Miranda called to her son, who was watching television. “Come here, buddy. I’d like you to meet a special friend of mine. Talen, this is Jeremiah.”
Talen, a striking dark-haired boy, regarded Jeremiah with intelligent coal-black eyes. “Nice to meet you, Jeremiah,” he said. “Are you here to have pizza with us?”
Jeremiah looked to Miranda and smiled. “I have a better idea.... How about we see what’s in your kitchen and you can help me whip something up.”
“I don’t know how to cook,” Talen said.
“You don’t know until you know.... Would you like to learn?”
A slow smile crept across his young face and he nodded vigorously. As they headed to the kitchen, Jeremiah sent a warm look to Miranda as he mouthed, “I love you.”
And his heart soared when she mouthed it back.
* * * * *
Be sure to look for the next book in THE SINCLAIRS OF ALASKA series by Kimberly Van Meter! Available in 2014 wherever Harlequin books are sold.
Keep reading for an excerpt from BETTER THAN GOLD by Mary Brady.
That Reckless Night Page 25