by Deon Meyer
Alexa Barnard was sitting up against the cushions. He saw the bandage on her forearm, then the look of dawning disappointment.
'I was expecting the other detective,' she said slowly, words not well formed. The medication had not wholly worn off.
'Afternoon, ma'am,' he said neutrally, because he could use her drowsiness; he must avoid conflict and win her trust. He dragged a blue chair closer, nearly right up to the bed. He sat down with his elbows on the thin white bedspread. She stared at him with vague interest. She looked better than she had this morning - her hair was brushed and tied back in the nape of her neck, so that her unobscured face appeared stronger, the faded beauty like a fossil in a weathered rock bank.
'Captain Griessel is not on the case any more,' he said.
She nodded slowly.
'I understand better now,' he said quietly and sympathetically.
She lifted an eyebrow.
'He was ... not an easy man.'
She searched his face until she was convinced of his sincerity. Then she looked past him. He saw the moisture collect gradually in her eyes, her lower lip's involuntary tremble. With her healthy right arm she wiped the back of her hand over her cheek in slow motion.
Better than he'd hoped. 'You loved him very much.'
She looked somewhere beyond Dekker, nodded slightly, and wiped her cheek again.
'He hurt you so much. All those years. He kept on hurting you over and over.'
'Yes.' Barely a whisper. He wanted her to talk. He waited. She said nothing. The sound of a helicopter came through the closed curtains in front of the window, the wap-wap increasingly loud. He waited till it subsided.
'You blamed yourself. You thought it was your fault.'
Her gaze shifted to him. Still silent.
'But it wasn't. There are men like that,' he said. 'It's a disease. An addiction.' She nodded, agreeing, as though she wanted to hear more.
'It's a drug for the soul. I think they have an emptiness inside here, a hole that is never filled, it might help for a little while, then in a day or two it starts all over again. I think there's a reason, I think they don't like themselves, it's a way of...' His command of formal language left him stranded.
'Gaining acceptance,' she said. He waited, gave her time. But she gazed steadily at him, expectantly, pleading almost.
'Yes. Acceptance. Maybe more than that. There's something broken in here, they want to make it whole. A hurt that has come a long way, that never completely goes away, it just comes back every time, worse, but the medicine helps less and less, it's a ...' His wave of the hand sought a word, deliberately now.
'A vicious circle.'
'Yes ...'
She would not fill the silence that he had created. At first he wavered, then he said: 'He loved you, in his way, I think he loved you a lot, I think the problem was that he didn't want to do it, but every time he did he thought less of himself, because he knew he was hurting you, he knew he was doing damage. Then that became the reason he did it again, like an animal gnawing at itself. That can't stop. If a woman showed she wanted him, it meant he wasn't so bad, then he didn't think any more, he just felt, it was like a fever coming over him, you can't stop it. You want to, but you can't, however much you love your wife ...' He stopped suddenly, aware of the fundamental shift, and sat back slowly in his chair.
He watched her, wondering if she had caught on. He saw that she was somewhere else. Heard her say: 'I asked him to get help.'
He hoped. She looked at the little table beside her bed. Above the drawer was a slit where a tissue dangled. She pulled it out, wiped her eyes one by one and crumpled the paper in her right hand. 'I think there was a time when I tried to understand, when I thought I could see a little boy in him, a rejected, lonely boy. I don't know, he would never talk about it, I could never work out where it came from. But where does anything come from? Where does my alcoholism come from? My fear, my insecurity. My inferiority? I have looked for it in my childhood, that's the easy way out. Your father and mother's fault. They made mistakes, they weren't perfect, but that's not enough ... excuse. The problem is, it comes from inside me. It's part of my atoms, the way they vibrate, their frequency, their pitch, the key they sing in ...'
He had an idea where she was headed.
'Nobody can help ...' he encouraged her.
'Just yourself.'
'He couldn't change.'
She shook her head. No, Adam Barnard couldn't change. He wanted to prompt her: 'So you did something about it,' but he gave her the chance to say it herself.
She slowly sank back against the cushion, as though she were very tired.
'I don't know ...' A deep sigh.
'What?' he asked, a whispered invitation.
'Do we have the right? To change people? So that they suit us? So that they can protect us from ourselves? Aren't we shifting the responsibility? My weakness against his. If I were stronger ... Or he was. Our tragedy lay in the combination, each was the other's catalyst. We were ... an unfortunate chemical reaction ...'
His fifteen minutes expired. 'And something had to give,' he said. 'Someone had to do something.'
'No. It was too late to do anything. Our habits with each other were too set, the patterns had become part of us, we couldn't live any other way any more. Past a certain point there is nothing you can do.'
'Nothing?'
She shook her head again.
'There is always something you can do.'
'Such as what?'
'If the pain is bad enough, and the humiliation.' He needed more than this. He took a chance, gave her something to work with: 'When he starts cursing and threatening you. When he assaults you ...'
She turned her head slowly towards him. At first expressionless, so that he couldn't tell if it was going to work or not. Then the frown began, initially as though she was puzzled, but with increasing comprehension and a certain restrained regret. Eventually she looked .down at the tissue in her hand. 'I don't blame you.'
'What do you mean?' but he knew he had failed.
'You're just doing your job.'
He leaned forward, desperate, trying another tack. 'We know enough, Mrs Barnard,' he said still with empathy. 'It was someone with inside knowledge. Someone who knew where he kept his pistol. Someone who knew about your ... condition. Someone with enough motive. You qualify. You know that.'
She nodded thoughtfully.
'Who helped you?'
'It was Willie Mouton.'
'Willie Mouton?' He couldn't keep the astonishment out of his voice, not sure what she meant, though a light seemed to have gone on for her.
'That's why I asked the other detective ... Griessel to come.'
'Oh?'
'I must have been thinking like you. About the pistol. Only four of us knew where it was, and only Adam had the key.'
'What key?'
'To the gun safe in the top of his wardrobe. But Willie installed that. Four, five years ago. He's good at that sort of thing, he was always practical. In the old days he did stage work for the bands. Adam couldn't do anything with his hands, but he didn't want to bring outside people in, he didn't want anyone to know about the gun, he was afraid it would be stolen.
This morning . . . Willie was here, he and the lawyer, it was a strange conversation, I only realised once they left ...' She stopped suddenly, having second thoughts, the hand with the tissue halfway between bed and face.
When she stopped he couldn't stand the suspense. 'What did you realise?'
'Willie always wanted more. A bigger share, more money. Even though Adam was very good to him.'
'Ma'am, what are you trying to tell me?'
'Willie came and stood here at my bed. All he wanted to know was what I could remember. I last saw Willie more than a year ago. And then here he was this morning, as though he actually cared. He made all the right noises, he wanted to know how I was, he said he was so sorry about Adam, but then he wanted to know if I remembered anything. When I said I d
idn't know, I was confused, I couldn't understand ... he asked again: "Can you remember anything - anything?" Only when they left a while later ... I lay here, the medication . . . but I heard his words again. Why was he so keen to know? And why was his lawyer here? That's what I wanted to tell Griessel, that . . . it was strange.'
'Ma'am, you said he helped you.'
She looked at him in surprise. 'No, I never said that.'
'I asked you who helped you. And you said Willie Mouton.'
The door behind Dekker opened.
'No, no,' said Alexandra Barnard, totally confused, and Dekker wondered what was in the pills she had taken.
'Inspector,' said the nurse.
'Another five minutes,' he said.
'I'm sorry, that's not possible.'
'You misunderstood me,' said Alexa Barnard.
'Please,' said Dekker to the nurse.
'Inspector, if the doctor says fifteen minutes, that is all I can give you.'
'Fuck the doctor,' he said involuntarily.
'Out! Or I'll call security.'
He considered his options, knew he was so close, she was confused, he wouldn't get another chance, but the nurse was a witness to this statement.
He stood up. 'We'll talk again,' he said and walked out, down the passage to the lift. He pressed the button, angry, pressed it again and again. So close.
The door whispered open, the big lift was empty. He went in and saw the G-light on, folded his arms. Now she wanted to point at Willie Mouton. He wasn't going to fall for that.
The lift began to descend.
He would go and talk to the maid, Sylvia Buys. He had her address in his notebook. Athlone somewhere. He checked his watch. Nearly twenty past four. To Athlone in this traffic. Maybe she was still in the house in Tamboerskloof.
Willie Mouton? He recalled the chaos this morning in the street, the militant Mouton, the black knight, shaven-headed earring- wearer on his fucking phone. To his lawyer. Mouton, who was desperate for him to arrest Josh and Melinda.
The lift doors slid open. People were waiting to come in. He walked out slowly, thoughtfully. He stopped in the entrance hall.
The lawyer who had been with him all day, the spectre of a man, so grave. Mouton and Groenewald here, with Alexa. 'What can you remember?' Why?
Was the drunk woman lying?
Adam phoned me last night, some time after nine, to tell me about Ivan Nell's stories. His cell phone rang. He saw it was Griessel, who believed she was innocent.
'Benny?'
'Fransman, are you still at AfriSound?'
'No, I'm at City Park.'
'Where?'
'At the hospital. In the city.'
'No, I mean where in the hospital?'
'At the entrance. Why?'
'Stay there, I'll be with you in a minute. You're not going to believe this.'
Chapter 46
With the crooked pliers of the Leatherman that had saved his life, Benny Griessel cut Rachel Anderson's hands free. Then he went and fetched four sleeping bags, asked Vusi to call for backup and medical support, spread two sleeping bags on the floor for her to lie on and covered her shivering body with the other two.
'Don't leave me,' she said.
'I won't,' but he heard Oerson groan and went to find the Metro officer's pistol before sitting down with her, taking out his cell phone and calling John Afrika.
'Benny, where the fuck are you? I've been phoning ...'
'Commissioner, we got Rachel Anderson. I'm sitting with her now. We're in Observatory, but I just want to ask one thing: send us the chopper, she needs medical assistance, she's not bad, but I'm definitely not taking her to Groote Schuur. ‘There was a heartbeat of silence before Afrika said: 'Hallelujah! The chopper is on its way, just give me the address.'
'I'm sorry, Mr Burton, but I just don't believe you,' said Bill Anderson over his cell phone. 'There's a warning right here on the US consulate's website, stating that fourteen Americans have been robbed at gunpoint after landing at the OR Tambo International Airport in the past twelve months. I've just read that a South African government Minister has said police must kill criminal bastards, and not worry about regulations. I mean, it's the Wild West out there. Here's another one: "More police were killed in the years since the end of Apartheid than in the previous period in that country's history."
‘“Armed robberies at people's homes have increased by thirty per cent." And you are telling me we won't need protection?'
'It sounds worse than it is, I can assure you,' the American Consul reassured him.
'Mr Burton, we are flying out this afternoon. All I want you to do is to recommend someone to protect us.'
Dan Burton's sigh was audible. 'Well, we usually recommend Body Armour, a personal security company. You can call a Ms Jeanette Louw ...'
'Can you spell that for me?'
Just then the house phone on Anderson's desk began to ring and he said: 'Excuse me for one second,' picked up the receiver and said: 'Bill Anderson.'
'Daddy,' he heard the voice of his daughter.
'Rachel! Oh, God, where are you?'
'I'm with Captain Benny Griessel, Daddy ...' and then her voice broke.
Griessel sat with his back to the wall, both arms around her. She leaned heavily on him, her head on his shoulder, while she spoke to her father. When she was finished and passed the phone back to him, she looked up at him and said: 'Thank you.'
He didn't know how to answer her. He heard the sirens approaching, wondering how long it would take the helicopter to get here.
'Did you find the video?' she asked.
'What video?'
'The video of the murder. At Kariba.'
'No,' he said.
'That's why they killed Erin.'
'You don't have to tell me now,' he said.
'No, I have to.'
She and Erin had shared a tent the whole tour.
Erin had adjusted easily to the new time zones, slept well, got up with the sun, stretched pleasurably, yawned and said: 'Another perfect day in Africa.'
Initially Rachel struggled to fall asleep at night. After the firstweek it improved, but every night, somewhere between one and three, her body clock woke her. Later she would vaguely recall moments of consciousness while she reoriented herself and wondered at this astonishing adventure, this special privilege, of lying listening to the noises of this divine continent. And she would sink away, carefree and light as a feather, into cosy sleep.
At Lake Kariba the moonlight had taken her by surprise. Some time after two in the early hours, near wakening, she had become aware of the glow and opened her eyes. She thought someone had switched on a floodlight. Then truth dawned - full moon. She was enchanted by its brightness, its immensity, and was ready to drift back to her dreams. In her imagination she saw the moon over Kariba, the beauty of it. She realised she must capture it for her video journal. It could be the opening shot of the DVD she would make at home on Premiere Pro. Or the background of her title- sequence animation in After Effects, if she ever found enough time to unravel the secrets of that software.
Carefully, so as not to disturb Erin, she crawled out of her sleeping bag, took her Sony video camera and went out into the sultry summer night.
The camp was quiet. She walked between the tents to the edge of the lake. The view was as she had suspected, another breathtaking African show - the moon a jewel of tarnished silver sliding across the carpet of a billion stars, all duplicated in the mirror of the lake. She switched the camera on, folded out the small LCD screen and chose 'Sunset & Moon' on the panel. But the moon was too high. She could film either the reflection or the real thing, but not both in one frame. She looked around and spotted the rocks on the edge of the lake about a hundred metres away. An acacia tree was growing out of them. It would give her height, a reference point and perspective. From the top of the rocks she tried again. She experimented with the branches of the tree, until she heard the sounds, below, scarcely fifteen metres
away.
She had turned to look. Two figures in the dark. A muffled argument. She sat down slowly, instinctively, and knew it was Jason de Klerk and Steven Chitsinga at one of the trailers.
She smiled to herself, aimed her camera at them and began to film. Her intention was mischievous. These were the chief teases, the head guides who mocked the European and American tourists about their love of comfort, their bickering, complaining, their inability to deal with Africa. Now she had evidence that they were not perfect either. She smiled, thinking she would reveal it at breakfast. Let them feel embarrassed for once.
Until Steven pulled open one of the large storage drawers under the trailer and bent to get something. He jerked roughly at it and suddenly the shape of another person stood between them, a smaller figure beside the lankiness of the two guides.
A man's voice called out one word. Steven grabbed the smaller figure from behind and put a hand over his mouth. Rachel Anderson looked up from the screen now, dumbstruck, she wanted to be certain the camera was not lying. She saw something shiny in Jason's hand, bright and deadly in the moonlight. She saw him drive it into the small figure's chest and how the man slumped in Steven's grip.
Jason picked up the feet, Steven took the hands and they dragged the figure away into the darkness.
She sat there a long time. At first she denied it, it could not be real, a dream, a complete fantasy. She turned off the sound of the video and played it back. The image quality was not great, the camera was not renowned for its results in the dark, but there was enough, until the truth struck home: she had witnessed a murder, committed by two people to whom she had entrusted her life.
The next day passed in a haze. She realised she was traumatised, but didn't know what to do. She withdrew. Again and again Erin asked her: 'What's wrong?' Later: 'Did I do something?' She just said: 'I'm not feeling well.'
Erin suspected the first symptoms of malaria. She cross- questioned her about symptoms and Rachel answered vaguely and evasively, until her friend gave up. She wanted to report the murder, but to whom? There were so many rumours about the police in Zimbabwe, so many stories of corruption and politics that she hesitated. After a visit to the Victoria Falls, they left the country and passed into Botswana. Then there was no more opportunity. Just the dismay she carried with her and the knowledge that the murder in Zimbabwe by Zimbabweans was not the concern of another country's police. Not on this continent.