“Or you could hide in here forever, fearing for your life while it waits outside your window,” Felix said, flipping over his paw in an uncannily human gesture.
“But—”
“Others might be harmed, too. What about that friend of yours, Sarah? Would you endanger her too? Would you want her to meet the same fate as Lea?” Felix’s voice was meek, but it was enough to stir me. No. No, I couldn’t put Joy in danger. Not Joy, who had been so kind when things had grown so bleak. She was near to me, too. If the familiar was stalking me, then he could easily get to her. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Joy—I couldn’t lose another person I cared about.
“And you think this Poe guy will know what to do? You think it might even be his familiar?” I tested the waters.
“It’s a strong possibility. I don’t think Arthur was lying to you.”
I sat up in my bed, looking at both of my hands as I considered what choice to make. I thought it over for several long moments, then reached my decision.
“You’re right. We’ve got to find out what he wants. I can’t just stay here. I won’t let this become my prison. But if I make you promise me something, then you have to do it, right?” I asked, feeling quite grave.
“If you make a pact with me, I must obey your every command by the laws of my being. For now, if you give me a gift of food, I shall have to follow your commands for a short while. You’ll have more than enough time if you issue them now,” Felix told me, and I took a deep breath. Once I said it, there was no going back.
“If I’m about to lose my mind there, in Unreal City—if you know for sure that there will be no hope for me, I want you to promise me that you’ll kill me. You’ll kill me here in this world.”
Felix smiled. “I promise.”
THE SCISSORS CLIPPED and another lock of my hair came loose. I offered it to Felix, who ate it off my hand with gusto. It must’ve tasted like a steak dinner to him.
My familiar ordered me to wait, then leapt out the open window. I shut it after he left, frightened that something else might get in during his absence, and opened it again when I heard his claws scratching with squeaks against the glass. He’d returned with that pretty little box that always seemed to disappear by the time I awoke from the fantastical dream. I opened it with caution, and instantly that irresistible smell and the memory of the ambrosial taste hit me. I plucked the petit four from the box and took a deep breath. This could be the last moments of this life as I knew it. An urge to text Joy a goodbye occurred to me, but I knew I couldn’t do that—no matter how much it would comfort me. So instead I sent:
Joy, you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me. I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done.
The text found its home, and a sense of finality rose within me. Bracing myself for what was to come, I turned back to the box and devoured the cake in a single bite. No matter how many times I ate it, it was always like tasting that flavor for the very first time. The wonderful poison covered my tongue, and I lay down on Lea’s bed as I chewed, waiting for my spirit to leave this world behind for greener pastures.
The departure was smooth. I was floating up, up, up, following the light burning behind Felix’s green eyes like a ship nearing a lighthouse. The period of stillness came and passed, and then I was standing in my garden.
It was overrun with plants now, resembling a northwestern rainforest. The first thing I could see was Lea’s skeleton, still engulfed by greenery, humming with the artificial life of my world, just like the redwoods. It was host to many things, a living society of different organisms growing out of rot. Yet as I stood there in my quiet misery and looked at those green, blanketed bones sitting so peacefully in the light-falls cascading from the treetops, I had to admit it was beautiful. I approached her, watching the butterflies flutter around the peaceful scene, unaware of the skull buried under the moss and flowers. I touched my hand to the pillar and held it there, checking for the hum of life in what used to be Lea. It was there, even if it was tiny—like a mouse’s heartbeat or the hurried beating of wings.
Before I had reached the threshold to the other gardens, I felt the presence of my neighbor. I headed for the opposite end of the rainforest with its dewy leaves and crawling insects, figuring that before I went into the abyss and perhaps forfeited my life trying to discover the truth, I might as well tell someone I had tried.
As I walked I crafted a little piece of paper with a collection of names and numbers on it, then put it inside my pocket. Checking to see that the astral version of the paper still remained in my pocket, I stepped over the threshold into Angus’s garden.
I found Angus lying under the shade of Aodh, who resided within the trunk of a massive tree in the center of a magnificent metropolitan paradise. His blue-flame lanterns grew brighter as Felix and I neared. Angus sat up and opened his eyes, greeting us with a warm grin.
“Miss Sarah, it is always a pleasure,” he yawned, stretching. “How did it go with creepy Arthur? Didn’t mean to drop out on you like that.”
“It was fine,” I said with a dismissive wave, wanting to get straight to business. “Listen, Angus, I’d like you to do me a favor. I figured out how my sister died.”
“What?” Angus sat up and straightened his cap. “Did Arthur work it all out after I left?”
“No, I did. It was a familiar, one from this world. But it’s gone…insane or something. It’s coming after me and killing people at my school. I think it’s got something to do with Poe. That he might be after me for some reason. I think he’s sending his familiar to hurt me in the real world, so I’m going to go talk to him.”
“Sarah!” Angus yelped, jumping to his feet. “Are you out of your mind?! You’ll be torn apart. Poe’s a maniac. There’s no reason he should want to hurt you. He doesn’t even know you! You’re making an awful mistake!”
“I’ve already made up my mind and Felix will—will help me if things get too scary. I just want to ask you to—if I don’t come back, if I get messed up there—tell my parents how Lea and I died. Even if they think it’s crazy, will you just tell them?” I pulled the paper out of my pocket and put it in his hand.
“Sarah, you can’t do this. I won’t let you. You’re going to end up like—”
“My mind is made up, Angus!” I shouted at him and turned to leave. I hoped that if worst did come to worst, he’d have a good enough heart to carry out my request.
“Wait! Sarah, there’s something I need to tell you first. Stella said not to say but—”
“I don’t care about warnings. I don’t care about safety. I don’t care about the right thing to do,” I seethed, my anger appearing out of nowhere once again. “I’m going to find out why my life was ripped apart, come hell or high fucking water.”
“You bleedin’ idiot, I’m trying to tell you that—”
I ran. I ran until I pierced into my garden, and then set to erecting a wall around the entire place. No one was getting in now. I looked down at Felix, who also looked a bit melancholy, but the more upset everyone was getting around me, the more my courage was fueled. I was going to roll right up to Poe the madman and take what I wanted from him, guns blazing.
“The fastest way will be to fly, right?” I asked Felix, and to my surprise he shook his furry head.
“Poe is different. You can’t just drop in to people’s gardens who don’t want visitors. Arthur’s was open because he encourages others to come by. Poe’s sealed his up as much as he can. He’s paranoid. You’ll have to find a crack in the perimeter. I think there’s one somewhere near the bottom of his neighbor’s garden, from what I remember.”
“We’ll walk then. Take me there, Felix,” I requested and he bowed his furry head and began to stretch out like one of Dalí’s elephants. I hopped on his back as he grew and he used his long, crooked legs to step over the wall and into the next garden. He sprinted across Angus’s city, stomped through Stella’s swamp, and waded across Ranjit’s underwater kingdom. The
horned familiar swam around Felix’s legs as he navigated the choppy waters. Below the surface, diving bells flickered in the dim light.
We crossed his kingdom without incident and made it into the antique Mexican village garden, where the sky took on a twinkling curtain of stars and colored lanterns glowed in the sudden shade of night. As Felix tiptoed between houses, I saw the lavish village was decorated for a festival. Huge bouquets of flowers, banquets streaming with tantalizing scents, and sculptures of skeletons engaged in the height of revelry lined the streets, but there were no people at this celebration.
I thought we would pass right through, but all of a sudden Felix seemed to miss a step and tripped forward. I was thrown from his back and went tumbling toward the dusty, desert ground. Screaming, I expected the fall to crush me and leave me with a slew of broken bones and a smashed nose, but the ground below me crumbled upon impact. I kept falling, getting buffeted as I smashed my way through caverns against the hard and jagged stones.
At last the terrible fall came to an end and I lay moaning at the bottom of a sandy pit, bleeding, and with the sensation of broken glass filling my arm. I took several gasping breaths and managed to sit up. My ribs felt shattered and I could do little but sit there and gasp as waves of pain assaulted me. The little shaft of moonlight where the ground had broken apart looked miles above me. I was lost amid the darkness of an underground system of caves. A shallow layer of water and sand filled the caverns, but they seemed relatively clean and spacious. It might have been interesting, had I not been bashed to pieces.
With a hoarse voice I called up to the surface, hoping that Felix could hear my cries, but no reply came. I took a deep breath, which felt like nails being driven into my sides, and tried to stand without success. I had failed even before I got to look Poe in the eye. I prayed Felix would fetch me so I could return to my garden and heal.
Rapid footsteps interrupted my thoughts; someone was barreling toward me through the caverns. Within moments a woman with long black hair wheeled around the corner, hyperventilating. It looked as if she meant to run past me, but I shouted to her and she came to an echoing halt.
She clutched her chest with obvious panic. “¿Quien eres?” she questioned, pointing at me with a shaking hand. “¿Qué hace usted aquí?”
“I…I’m sorry. Uh, lo siento,” I stammered, reaching out pathetically and wishing I’d paid more attention in my high school Spanish classes. “Mi—mi bones. I’m hurt. Por favor, um—ayuda me!”
She began talking rapidly and pointing backward, but I would not be swayed by her hysterics though her react frightened me. If something was coming I needed to be able to run. I kept pointing to my legs and ribs and screaming, “Ayuda me.” I hoped that my memory served me and this meant “help me” like I thought. She realized what I meant and hurried to my side, placed a hand on my legs, and I felt much of the pain ebb away. Although I still ached, I could at last stand again.
“Apúrate! Corre!” she said. “El balsero, el viene!”
Without another glance in my direction she took off running. I had no idea what she’d said, but she sounded terrified. I stood there a little longer, frightened of what I might see coming down the tunnel after her.
“Felix!” I screamed up to the patch of light so far above my head, but still no answer came. In the silence after my echo dissipated I could hear a scuffling sound echoing through the caves. Water sloshed, sand shifted. The sound of something scuttling and clicking on stone grew closer.
I froze, pressing myself against the cavern wall as a set of four eyes, devoid of pupils and glowing with the singeing light of the familiars, loomed out of the shadows. Each was as wide and round as a dinner plate. I gasped as a monstrous crab scuttled into the feeble light. Its body was covered in razor sharp spines and horns, and it had one massive claw it dragged along in the shallow pools, flexing it as if itching to catch something.
Not daring to breathe again, I waited for the massive creature to pass by on its hunt for the poor, tormented woman. Either it had no interest in me, or it hadn’t seen me, because it left without as much as a sideways glance. Trying to catch my breath and slow the manic pounding behind my ribs, I crouched down and hugged my knees. I don’t know how long I waited there, but I kept my eyes closed until I heard Felix calling to me from the surface. I screamed back. I couldn’t navigate this world without him. My wonderful, wonderful cat fluttered down as if riding upon a breeze and landed beside me.
“Sarah, forgive me,” he said, rubbing his head against my aching legs. “I lost my step. But we’re almost there. I think we can get to Poe’s garden through here. Are you in pain? Can you walk?”
“I’m okay. A woman came by and helped me,” I told him, getting to my feet and taking a few steps forward, gritting my teeth every time my foot hit the ground.
Felix led me onward through the dark. I staggered and huffed the whole way, hearing my ragged breath bounce off the cave walls. Felix picked up speed, and it felt as if my legs would snap apart again if I kept up with his pace. I came close to begging that we turn around and return to my garden, where I knew I could be safe and free from pain, but I pressed onward, determined to have my answers at last.
At the darkest part of the cave, where almost no light penetrated except the brilliant green of Felix’s eyes, we hit the membrane that separated gardens. Except instead of passing through it with a simple step like normal, there was a wall of black rubble blocking the way, covered in a mess of graffiti. I saw letters that looked like a made-up, disorganized form of writing, beside things like “Toynbee Idea in movie 2001 resurrect dead on planet Jupiter”, “Kill every cameraman”, and “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate”. I touched the stones with their strange collage of words, and they felt sharp, but porous, like volcanic rock.
“How do we get through?”
Without answering Felix swatted at the side of the wall with his paw. The force of the impact was unbelievable: most of the rocks blew apart in a shower of dust and bits of stone. Through the hole that he’d created I could see little bits of blackness and rushed forward to move some of the rocks out of the way. Felix assisted me with controlled swats.
A tight, jagged crawl space appeared at last. The idea of entering, however, scared me more than anything else thus far. What if the tunnel led to nothing and I got trapped in there, unable to turn around? What if the other side caved in and I got stuck, crushed by the ground, suffocating and undying like before?
“I’ll go first,” Felix offered, sensing my aversion. “If we get caught, I can claw us out.” Without hesitation, my brave little spirit wormed his way into the hole and I followed, crawling on my hands and knees while my bones screamed in protest.
The sides of the rock cut and poked into me. The air grew stale and full of dust. I coughed so much it hurt to breathe.
“I don’t think I can make it,” I rasped after only a few minutes. The space was getting too tight and I was getting cut to shreds by the rocks. I couldn’t get through, and I couldn’t go back.
“No, Sarah. You can’t stop halfway through. You have to keep going,” Felix insisted. “Your wounds, your pain—they will be impermanent. Endure it.”
My face damp from tears and my lips slick with spittle from the coughs likely ripping wounds in my throat, I crawled forward, not caring how pathetic I looked or acted. We weren’t even close to the end, not at all. We’d only gone about one-fifth of the way, and it seemed as if I would lose my mind before we reached the place where the tunnel let out. When Felix at last swatted at the end of the wall and blew a hole that sent a wave of fresh air and light flooding toward us, I scrambled out like a wild animal running for its life. I tumbled out of the rock tunnel, assumed the fetal position on the ground and lay there, crying. It only took one tear-clouded look at my hands and arms to tell me that I’d become the human equivalent of Santiago’s prized marlin. Felix pawed over to where I lay trembling and licked at my wounds.
I drew away as a spi
ke of panic drilled at my heart. My blood, did he taste my blood!?
“The pact cannot be made in the Unreal City, Sarah. It’s not your real blood, don’t worry,” he reassured me, and went back to licking my arms and face.
It somehow made the pain feel less real, and I let him tend to me for a while before I rose to my feet and wiped as much of the blood on my pants and shirt as I could. The worst part was having to pull two flags of loose, torn skin off my arms, but once I left them lying there on the barren, rock-littered ground, I felt a reluctant, yet strong second wind fill my tired body.
We stood in the middle of a dry wasteland. The ground was parched, yet above the sky was pregnant with black, swirling rainclouds. Not a sprinkle of moisture was in the air, but the air shivered with the threat of lightning. The long-dead, dehydrated skeletons of trees dotted the dry expanse, and it seemed as if this arid, parched hell stretched on forever.
“Find him,” Felix instructed. “Time’s already running out. You don’t want to have to go through all of this again, do you?”
“No,” I sighed, disheartened at the ugly eternity of desert that stretched out before us.
“Then you should run.” Felix took off like a black fish streaming through the ocean and I had little choice but to follow.
I ran until I was sure the memory of this pain would remain in my physical body for months after this nightmare. My lungs stung and my body was drenched with sweat. At least four of my toes felt broken and blisters formed, then split open on my heels. Felix shouted back to me over and over again, urging me to keep hurrying. If I gave up now, it would all be for nothing.
My thoughts became distant and hallucinatory. I was barely conscious, barely understanding where I was, letting my legs propel me forward as I got further and further away from my pain. In the very distance, I thought I could see a little hovel sitting in the center of the wasteland. As we neared it, Felix picked up speed, his eyes wild.
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