by Keisha Ervin
“Hostess, with the thick icing,” Niecy added as her eyes began to water.
“We talked for hours and every day after that we talked and kept each other minds sane. We never overstepped the line because we needed each other as friends. It wasn’t until I got locked up that I realized I wanted to see her and hold her. Especially after we started writing each other and I found out so much more was going on that she couldn’t look me in my face and tell me. It fucked me up that I couldn’t protect her,” he said with a very disturbed look on his face.
“I thought she was keeping a diary, writing her problems away,” Niecy said.
“Naw, I was her diary, her release. I read your life, her life, yo’ brother life and Janelle life every day.” She looked at him, confused. “Naquala, I know about your older brother coming home from jail and raping her and your brother. That’s why he got that forty years. I remember she said your mom used to come and finger y’all stuff to see if you been fucking and if y’all stink. If she smelled something, she would beat the shit out of y’all. I was fucked up when she wrote me and told me about your moms making y’all hold her down, and she burned her with the iron because she had on a wrinkled shirt.”
“That shit was fucked up,” Niecy said with a straight face and squinched lips. Anytime that crossed her mind, she realized how much she hated her mom.
“I remember when they took y’all from her and put y’all in foster care for a month, until Brenda said y’all could live with her. She wrote me while sitting in Norfolk General waiting on you. That was the last straw, when she jumped on you and beat you like you were a woman in the street.”
“She beat the shit out of me. I was twelve and she walked in like, ‘Bitch, you think you grown,’ and started swinging, I couldn’t do shit, but scream, and then all of a sudden shit went dark. I woke up and found out she had grabbed a hammer and bust me in my head three times. Would have killed me if my brother didn’t come in. All the man across the street said was, ‘You better watch Naquala.’ She went off,” she cried, shaking her head, still confused more than ten years later. “Know what, Poppa? What hurt even worse was to find out my brother saved my life and got sent to a boys’ home til he was eighteen.”
“No, your brother got sent away because your mom and your older brother fucked him up. Your mom beating him senseless and your brother fucking him and making him suck dick and dress up like a girl. And your mother knew about it.”
“She was scared of my oldest brother,” she said quietly.
“But your brother snapped. He fucked your moms up. Damn!”
“He beat that bitch with everything she ever beat us with, then he sodomized her, just like he had been done. Then hit her in the back of the head with that same hammer three times like she did me. Bitch deserved it,” Niecy said, going into a deep stare.
“Naquel wrote me when y’all moved out Lake Edward. Then when she moved with y’all other sister. I got, like, five disturbing letters and that was the last time I heard from her. I didn’t find out for days that the nigga killed her,” he said angrily.
She looked at him, surprised. “Everybody thought it was suicide, but I always knew, Poppa, I always knew. That’s why I was glad when they found that nigga fucked up and tortured, body tossed out Ingleside.”
“Beaten, cut up, burnt up to his motherfuckin’ head, then they tossed his ass in the back of the projects.”
She looked at Poppa wide-eyed and surprised.
“He’ll never do that shit again. When I came home, I became the judge and jury. And, motherfucker, I find you guilty,” he said, standing up and sipping his Remy. “See, Naquala, we both fucked up and scarred for life. We need to find sane people, you and me would be headed for disaster before it began. You’re beautiful and sexy, even while you pregnant, but I’ve learned to look past the physical and see the real side of things. So after I get my nut, what do I want with a woman. I got to feel a bitch now, connect on some other shit.”
“I can respect that, and I feel you. But I want you to feel me,” she said. She could no longer control her urge. She looked at him as that strong man she needed all her life. She walked into the room, lay across the bed, and began to cry softly. She was fucked up inside, but she could deal with real love; where and when was it gonna come her way? As she drifted out, she felt her body find a place to relax. Her entire body leaned back and found support as she felt herself being comforted into the arms of love. She fell into a deep, deep sleep.
“Oooh! Oooh!” Poppa said, exhaling as his head leaned back. That dream felt so real, he thought as he woke from his sleep. The Remy was still having an effect as he tried to focus on the figure giving him head; the darkness was preventing the picture from coming clear. All of a sudden, it stopped. The figure stood on the side of the bed and removed her clothes. Niecy’s silhouette instantly made his dick harder. The full big breasts, and that big ass that jingled with her every move. She climbed on the bed with her back to Poppa and eased back until her warm, soft ass smothered his rock hard dick. The warmness of her body made him wrap his arms around her and squeeze. Niecy lifted her leg and reached back, guiding Poppa into her hot, wet, snug vagina. Poppa never let her go as he moved in and out of her slowly. He eased his hands to her breasts and massaged them, while holding her nipples firmly between his fingers. With her mouth held open, all she could do was gasp for air while sticking her ass out. He sped up as he massaged her ass, then gripped it as he bounced off it. His body began to tingle, then a feeling of ecstasy rose in his groin and slowly flowed through his entire body for about five seconds before his body began to jolt. She waited for him to get up, but he never moved. Not a word was spoken for minutes, then he began to move in and out of her again, grinding until he was hard again. She just stuck her ass out and let Poppa enjoy the love she was able to give. Before he knew it, his body was shaking again.
“Damn, I can’t last in this ass. This shit is ridiculous,” Poppa said, rubbing her butt. She waited for him to get up since he was finished, but he pulled her to him, stretched out his left arm so she could relax comfortably against him. Then he reached around her and placed his hand on her belly, kissing the back of her neck. “Damn, you got some good pussy and sexy as shit,” he said. “You’re a wonderful woman and I enjoy all the time we spend,” he said, smiling. She smiled and fell into his frame, and went back to sleep feeling wanted, happy, and not used.
The following day, Choice and Janelle were out rolling around town trying to figure out the game plan.
“What’s the deal, ma?” Choice asked as he drove down Virginia Beach Boulevard in his Escalade, pumping Plies’s new shit.
“Whatever, long as I’m rolling with you. You said we was chilling all day,” Janelle said with attitude.
“I just said what up? And you flippin’ already. I don’t want you to go nowhere, right here beside me. Right here,” he said, smiling and reaching over to his hand on her leg. He stared at his girl and took in all her cuteness in just a glance. Her tight black jeans, her snug short white T-shirt, and the new black-and-white Jordans. I love that look, he thought.
“So what up? Thought you said you needed a cut.”
“You right. I hope this nigga up here don’t got a lot of people. I got to go,” he said.
“I heard that, Mr. C-Rich ain’t got no pull, he gots to wait,” Janelle joked. “Wait ’til I tell Sha-kar Akbar Allah Mohammed God,” she added, laughing. He started laughing too. He knew she was talking about his brother, who had changed his name from Anthony to Askia (Ahmad).
“You know Sherman don’t give a fuck, every customer the same.” They continued talking and joking, enjoying the warm feeling they gave each other, but their attitudes changed as they pulled up and saw Jah, Nitty, and Los standing up front, with two more cats. “Hold tight, let me see who Sherman got,” Choice said, opening the door, and letting his new Jordans hit the concrete. He adjusted his new white T-shirt to conceal the chrome 9 mm with the wood-grain handle, but exposing his new Blackberry.
He walked up and gave Pop a pound, then Big Herb, then Los. “What up, son?” Choice asked Los. He never ac-knowleged anybody else. Niggas stood around, cautiously wondering when he had gotten out. They knew of the beef his girl had with niggas, so anything was subject to jump off.
“Making it do what it do, C. When you get home?” Los said, hoping his friend would move on. He had a funny feeling.
“Couple days, my dude. I had to get a few things straight before I stepped back on these Norfolk streets, know what I mean?”
“No doubt, partner.” Los said, not knowing what Janelle had told Choice, which kind of had him feeling uneasy.
“I’ma hollah in a few,” Choice said, easing off.
As Choice walked into the barbershop, he heard Nitty say to Janelle that she could get out, she ain’t gotta be scared. Choice quickly turned around. “Fuck she got to be scared of?” Choice asked, looking at Nitty and Jah.
“She know the deal,” Nitty said.
“As long as I’m here, she ain’t never scared, believe that shit.”
“Yo,” Jah, said getting Choice’s full attention. Everybody stood, staring in silence. “Fuck your girl,” Jah said, pointing at Janelle. “And fuck you, too, partner.”
“Naw, son! Fuck with me. If you think you built like that,” Choice said, stepping closer, ready for whatever. Or so he thought, until he was caught with a two piece from Jah. But Choice rolled with the left punch that landed on his right jaw, and the right was too weak to be recognized. Jah was totally caught off guard when Choice came back, throwing a fury of punches that landed to the face leaving Jah dazed. But the surprise punch to his left jaw from Nitty almost dropped him. He felt his knees buckle, and that was just enough time for Jah to get his composure and throw a body-crushing punch to Choice’s chest, causing the air to shoot from his body. He tumbled backward with Jah and Nitty still coming at him. But when most would have tried to catch their fall, Choice fell back and concentrated on wrapping his hand around the wood-grain handle of the 9 mm. When he hit the ground, the shiny chrome caught the two men off guard, but it was too late as Choice let it go. The shots made niggas scatter like roaches. One shot hit Jah in the stomach, the other in the chest. Nitty had stopped in his tracks and made a dash to get in the barbershop door, but one of the stylists had locked it when she heard the commotion. Two more shots rang out, one catching Nitty in his thigh and the other going through the barbershop door. Choice heard the sirens coming fast; he was in Virginia Beach and had forgotten how fast their reaction time was. He hit the side of the building in full stride. Janelle slid into the driver’s seat and slowly pulled away. Her heart was beating fast. She was so confused she went the opposite way of Choice. As she turned the corner on the side of a 7-Eleven, Choice came running from behind the building.
He jumped in. “Hit the interstate,” he said. “Quickly, but cautiously. I didn’t get in the truck because I didn’t want to involve you, especially on no highway chase. I ain’t never getting locked up down here again.”
“How did you know to come up behind the building? Anyone else would have run into the neighborhood,” she said.
“Instinct, ma, maybe I knew you’d be there,” he said, smiling.
“I was there, baby.” She looked over at her man as they flew down Wesleyan Drive. She was doing seventy in a thirty-five.
“Slow down,” he said. “Slow down.”
“My bad. I’m over here scared as shit. Mind racing, heart racing. Whoa!”
“Go right,” he said as she made her way onto 264, headed toward Richmond.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“New York, baby. I’m going home.”
Janelle kept driving with all kinds of thoughts roaming through her head. Damn, she thought, my life just did a 180 in seconds. What about her place, her clothes, her sister, and her baby? Damn! Would Niecy be all right? She convinced herself that Choice had her best interest at heart, at least she hoped so. Choice hadn’t said a word in the last three hours.
“What way I go,” she asked as they came up on Washington, DC.
“Stay on 95, follow Baltimore signs.”
“Relax your mind, baby. I’m trying to and you shocked the shit out of me. That shit happened so fast.”
“Can’t relax ’til I get to New York,” he said shortly.
She reached out toward him and held out her hand; he looked over into her face. She could see the confusion in his eyes. She wanted to get somewhere, wrap her arms around him, and tell him everything was going to be okay, but she knew this nigga had just caught two bodies and she could only imagine what he was feeling.
“That big motherfucker was soft. That nigga was straight weak. I was gonna fuck him up. Then go to his boy ass. Weak-ass country niggas. Took two of them to handle a little nigga,” he said, frustrated.
“I saw that shit. When Nitty got in it, I was jumping out the truck to help you. By the time I got out,” she said, hunching her shoulders, “You, you, you . . .” she said, holding her palm up as if to say, “You know what stopped me.”
“I was gonna shoot a fair one. Me and him,” he said as she paid the toll.
“Choice, you had no choice. You know they would of stomped yo’ ass out and probably fucked me up, too. You would have been laid out in Bayside Hospital, fucked up. That would have had me feeling worse than I do now. Is that shit fucking with you? If it is, don’t let it, that shit was self-defense, they both had you by one hundred pounds.”
“Baby, I’m worried about getting caught, fuck them niggas. It is what it is,” he said calmly. He reached over and turned up the radio, leaned back, and let the best of Jadakiss take him down the New Jersey Turnpike. He began to relax. Jadakiss had taken him away, and by the looks of Janelle, she had relaxed a little more. Actually, thoughts of Niecy, Lowe, Danyelle, and Reece penetrated her thoughts. Things were good just a few months ago. Now they were all distant, all over their men.
“Take exit thirteen towards the Verrazono and keep straight ’til you see the BQE.”
“BQE? What’s that?” she asked, confused
“Brooklyn Queens Expressway, you’ll see it. When you do, wake me up,” he said, and within minutes he was out. When Janelle whipped the Escalade right on to the BQE, she woke Choice up and he guided her into Brooklyn, where Fort Greene projects became home.
It had been a couple of weeks since their first sexual encounter. And it had happened three more times. Niecy stared into what would soon be her baby’s room. The crib, the dresser, the changing table, pampers, and all the accessories any newborn would need were there. Poppa had made sure that she had everything she could possibly need. He was treating her the same, and she was there to listen, console, and not judge. And that was what he fell for. Even though things were okay, she still got depressed, and worried about her baby being late; they were going to induce labor in two days and she hadn’t heard from Janelle. Her phone and Choice’s phone were off and that had her in a frenzy. She went and picked up her phone to dial Danyelle.
“What up, girl, is it time?”
“Hell, naw. Just called you.”
“No, you didn’t. You wanna know if I heard from yo’ sister,” Danyelle said. “Hell, no, but that bitch know better. She know she suppose to find some way to hollah and let us know what’s going on. He could have killed her, we don’t know shit,” she added.
“I know. I need her Danyelle, I need my sister,” Niecy said, crying.
“She know, she’ll be back in time. Just chill. Let me check a few things and I’ll call you back,” Danyelle said. She hated to hear anybody crying.
“What the deal?” Lowe said, answering the phone.
“You know what it is, Niecy just called me.”
“She in labor yet?” Lowe asked, excited.
“Hell, naw, she upset and want her sister. She crying and shit and I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell her shut the hell up. Janelle just being selfish and thinking about Janelle. She up in Ch
oice ass because she want to be; she ain’t shoot nobody, she ain’t gotta run. She on some bullshit. She know where she need to be. Selfish bitch. Tell Niecy we here, fuck Janelle. And I’ma tell her about herself when I see her instead of ignoring her ass.”
“If we see her. She might be dead. Girl, you know them New York niggas crazy,” Danyelle said.
“Don’t say that shit. She all right. Speaking of crazy, it just pulled up. Later,” she said, hanging up the phone.
“Who was you talking to?” Dundee asked.
“Danyelle.”
“What you know?” he asked firmly.
“Nothing.”
“If you knew, would you tell me?”
“No, I keep telling you, your business is yo’ business. I don’t get involved; my girl shit is our shit. Girl shit that we been fucking wit’ for years don’t got shit to do with y’all niggas. And being that she ain’t hustling, she ain’t got shit to do with you. Now get the fuck out my face.” She was tired of his controlling acts and his questions. She braced herself as he punched her in the back of the head and lifted her off her feet by her neck. She fought until her body went limp, then he tossed her ass on the floor.
“I usually beat yo’ ass, but now I’m on some new shit: choking bitches out. That’s my new shit, choking hoes out,” he said, heading upstairs and leaving her on the floor. “I’m taking care of yo’ dumb ass, and you telling me you ain’t gonna tell me about the nigga who fucked up my money. You must be out yo’ mind.” Dundee stripped down and jumped in the shower. When he returned downstairs, he saw Lowe sitting on the couch, crying.
“I can’t take this no more. You gonna fuck around and kill me. And I ain’t did shit to you. I’m here for you to love and cherish, not fuck, beat on, and treat like shit. Where did all this shit come from? You act like I did something wrong.”
“You be on that bullshit, like you can do what the fuck you want and it don’t mean shit. Yeah, you nice and shit, but no bitch run me or own me. You need to recognize who the fuck I am.”