“Jose you go ahead, and dump that stuff into their glasses,” instructed Elvis. “I’ll slow the class down on the steps, so you can get back and nobody will know.” He ran into the room, opened Elvis’s bag and dumped two capfuls each of the Scope, Brut, and chocolate milk into their desk mates’ ammonia cup. He ran back to his class which as that time was finishing their ascent up the steps to the second floor.
Ms. Blossom, still in her white lab coat, went ahead to unlock the door. She inserted the key, realized she had left the door unlocked, but thought no harm, no foul.
“Everyone back to their desk area and with your group,” she said. “Now we are going to discuss what the color means on the pH scale. As I said previously the scale runs 0 to 14. The colors and their pH level are 2 for red, 4 for purple, 6 for violet, 8 for blue, 10 for blue-green and 12 for green. Now you have to take your colors and list the number that corresponds with that color and put them on your answer sheet.”
However, Missy’s trio had a slight problem. The ammonia based glass had turned colors. It didn’t match any of the colors of other people’s mixtures. Instead it was a brownish mixture. So Missy took the glass held it up to her nose and smelled it. She held it up to Hian, who begrudgingly took a whiff.
“Looks like something ghetto,” quipped Lamont. “Looks like preppie girl messed up.” Silence then filled the air.
Then, about 30 seconds later both Missy and Hian started acting strange. It was as though a spell had been placed on them.
“Yo homey what happened to our mixture?” said Hian, “Ya feeling me, dog; it ain’t right. That stuff is brown like my homey over there, Lamont. Know what I’m saying? Looks like sumthin you’d find in da toilet. You know what I’m saying? While we wuz chillin’, sumthin’ go bad. We’ve got to keep this on the DL.” It came out as ghettoese, something you’d never hear out of him.
Missy then started her bazaar behavior. “This is like like real strange,” she said, in with a valley girl accent. “We were like supposed to have a green glass and we got brown. Oh my God, gag me with a spoon. This is gross. Duh. We were like doing something like wrong. I got to tell this to my BF. This is makin’ me sick.”
Jose, Elvis and Lamont looked at each other in stunned silence. They couldn’t believe the way the pair were speaking.
“Hey, Missy, you okay?” said Lamont. “You ain’t talkin’ right. You sound like one of those valley girls. Hian, you tryin’ to be a brother or something? You need to step off and chill.”
“Dog, we just chillin’,” said Hian. “I gotta give my peeps a holla and tell them about this mixing is tight. This is off the hook.”
“Hi, you sound like ghetto,” said Lamont. “You feeling okay?”
“Duh, looks like we like did something like not right,” Missy answered.
Jose, Elvis and Lamont sat in disbelief. Here was Miss Preppie dumbing and Hian, who hadn’t said 10 words the first four weeks of school, rambling like some angry thug. Marie Adams grabbed the paper the group had to fill out and asked Jose for help.
She realized they had fallen behind in their work.
“Jose what are the answers?” she timidly asked. “I just want to make sure we are right. I’m not sure what these two are trying to prove.”
“Wow,” said Jose, “Missy’s group is asking us for help. Maybe there is hope for us dummies. Write this down – me helping Missy. Man, that’s all right. It proves that once in awhile, the kid’s got game.”
After about 10 minutes of silence at which time they seemed to be rambling in their new personalities as they completed the rest of the worksheet, Missy and Hian returned to normal. Missy asked Marie if she had finished the form. Marie said they still had to do two more items and they should get them from Ms. Blossom’s large desk in the front of the room.
“What was that act by Hian and Missy about?” Elvis asked Lamont and Jose.
“Were they playing games or just being goofy? Or just maybe,” he continued, dropping off to a different thought.
“Lamont, I need you to do me a favor,” Elvis directed at his fellow lab partner.
“Ask if you can see their brown mix and when they’re not looking take a quick snort.
If they see you, tell them I need it to be able to complete the assignment.”
“Sure,” offered Lamont, seemingly not making a connection between the brown mix and the behavior of Missy and Hian. He then he reached over and asked Missy to use their brown glass. Turning his back to everyone, he took a deep five second sniff, then put the glass down. Then everyone went to silence while Jose and Elvis finished the experiments and completed their form.
Ms. Blossom headed their way to check on their work. Just as she arrived, Lamont started blurting out some scientific language that nobody knew he possessed.
“The theory here is that natural substances of the cabbage have the property to change color because of the acidity of the environment,” he blurted out. “One can exploit the properties of the indicator to determine the acidity of the vinegar. We can conclude that the acidity of the concentration is related to the concentration of the hydrogen atoms present. Scientific experimentation has an amazing propensity to separate theory and fact.”
“Wow, Lamont, I am impressed that you got this much out of this experiment,” replied Ms. Blossom, a puzzled look on her face. However, in all her years of teaching she knew that students found different ways to be funny, so it was no big deal for Lamont to act smart.
“This appears to be one of the basic concepts of chemistry,” said Lamont, who then absorbed himself in his work. “It is through experimentation that we can learn more about the world around us.”
“Did you understand what Lamont just said?” Jose asked Elvis. “He sounded like Einstein. Where did he get that stuff? Is he real?” It was obvious Jose did not connect the mixture dots.
“Lamont, you okay?” asked Elvis, after about 10 minutes of silence.
“Yo, dog I am fine,” said Lamont. “Why? Something up? Hey, we done with this assignment yet? We need to clean up and turn it in.”
Ms. Blossom then broke into a speech for the whole class. “You have 10 minutes until the bell,” she instructed. “I need everyone to turn in their paper on my desk and clean up at the sinks. Make sure you dump it all down the drain and clean all your materials. Leave them on the tray on your desk and get ready to go.”
As the trio cleaned up, Elvis was lost in thought. He seemed to be the only one of this group that got the connection between the brown mix and the strange behavior. He realized if there was a connection between the two there was a world of potential for practical jokes. He also knew that by announcing it there in class it might blow the lid off the idea. Therefore, he said nothing, instead acting like the bank robber that had been given the key to the safe without anyone knowing.
The bell to end the third period rang and the students got up to depart the classroom. “Nice working with you guys,” Elvis said to Jose and Lamont as they stood to leave.
“Been real,” said Lamont. “I gotta bounce. Peace out.”
“See you guys at lunch,” answered Jose. “Been real rolling with you guys.”
Elvis looked at the materials the class had just used and placed them into his memory bank, then headed off to his math class.
Ten minutes into class, came an interruption into the class. Over the PA came the request, “Miss Baker, can you send Elvis down to the office? Mr. Diaz wants to see him.”
Elvis strolled to the office, making two stops along the way. He went by the media center to see what was happening, as well as stopping by the janitor’s restroom.
“Elvis, I just want to know where you were when that fire alarm went off last period?” asked Mr. Diaz. “That wasn’t planned and you seem to know about these kind of things. If it was you, you’re getting suspended for 10 days. Remember we have the governor coming in a few weeks and I want to make sure it all goes smoothly. We don’t need any clowning when he is here.”<
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“I didn’t do it and I know nothing about it,” replied Elvis. “I was in chemistry class the entire time. We were working on some experiments. Mr. Diaz, it wasn’t me.
“As far as the governor, I wouldn’t want that to go bad, either.”
“Now go back to class, and understand you’re on a short lease,” Mr. Diaz said.
“Here’s your pass. Get going.” It read return to sender, which was a joke that faculty and administrators often wrote on Elvis’ hall passes.
It was on the trip back to math class that Elvis did the addition. He thought chemical mixture, the right people, the governor and school administration all could add up to a senior prank to remember.
Senior Prank/ Chapter Four
As usual, Jose arrived in the cafeteria first. His class is closest to the cafeteria so he makes sure he gets there, claims their customary table, and waits for the others to arrive. Elvis usually arrives next, then Lamont joins them a few minutes later.
The trio own a table to the far left side of the cafeteria. It’s so they can check out all the babes, watch for food that might be available and be far enough away from any teacher watchdogs to avoid blame. Since they have 50 minutes in the lunchroom, there’s no hurry. It’s a chance to slow down the pace of the day.
“Man, Ellie the redneck is looking good,” said Jose. “Those tight jeans really make her butt look good. Too bad she’d kick my butt if I told her that. She’s really the redneck woman.”
“I second that,” chimed in Lamont. “She’s in a few of my classes and I’ve seen her almost get into it with other girls when they come after her. She’s her own girl and ain’t nobody going to tell her nothing.”
“Hey, Elvis, I talked to Potts about going out for the track team,” said Lamont, “and he said ‘sure, but I know the rules and if I don’t follow them, it’s goodbye.’ He said any clowning I’m gone. He invited me to a practice to see if it’s what I really wanted.
They practice after school Tuesday and Thursday and have exhibition meets every Saturday in November. Think I ought to do it?”
“If that’s what you really want go for it,” answered Elvis.
“You’re fast, so you ought to do it,” said Jose. “Besides, have you ever seen a slow brother? If you’re good, you know Potts ain’t going throw you off the team.
He likes the love. Since it’s your senior year, it’s now or never. I used to think it wouldn’t be worth it, but now I say go for it.”
Elvis then changed the subject bringing up the chemistry class two periods ago when Missy, Hian and even Lamont acted like someone else, not their usual self.
“I was thinking that we might have discovered our answer for a senior prank to remember,” stated Elvis. “If that mixture can change people’s personalities you can use it when the governor comes for his visit. We can show him we are really an All-American school.
“First, I think we need to retest that mixture to see if it really works,” he continued. “We’ll add our ingredients and try it on others. I’m still not sure that it worked. Maybe they were pulling our leg.
“We have to swear here right now not to tell anybody. That includes parents, teachers, girls, anybody. It has to be our secret. If the word is out we’ll get blamed and probably something bad will happen to us.”
Jose offered his thoughts. “Elvis, I never connected the mixture with Lamont’s behavior,” he said. “I figured he was just goofing off. But after watching Missy and Hian maybe you have a point.”
“How was I acting?” asked Lamont. “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing,” Elvis shot back. “You were acting like a brainiac. You started talking real intelligent and scientific like you knew what was going on. Jose and I just sat there in disbelief. Even Ms. Blossom was impressed. She was giving you props.”
Elvis then expanded on their plan. He offered once they got their mixture they would try it on one of the school’s macho jocks and a no nonsense ROTC member.
“It would be interesting to see how these two react,” he offered.
Then either maturity or discontent raised its head.
“I’m not sure about all this,” voiced Lamont. “I can’t afford to get in trouble, especially if I want to run track. I’m not sure you want to mess with things while the governor is here. Besides, sooner or later someone’s going to figure it out.”
“I kinda agree with Lamont,” said Jose. “I don’t want to blow my chance at a car. If something bad happens my old man has already said no car. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. I spent too much time at the family crib now. I need to roll.”
“Chickens, bock, bock, bock, bock,” laughed Elvis, mimicking a chicken sound. “There’s no way we’ll get caught if we do things right. You want to do a senior prank they will talk about for ages, this is the one. Think about it. The governor here and people acting goofy. Think about Winston going wacko.”
Elvis next step was to get some more of the mixture and try it on two other subjects by the end of the day. There were three periods to make it work. He decided he would go to Ms. Blossom’s room in the last 10 minutes of the next period and dump one of the mixtures from someone who was finished into his empty juice bottle. He’d then met the others in the restroom by their criminal justice class, add their items and search out their unknowing test subjects.
He entered into Ms. Blossom’s room under the guise of he was looking for his English notebook. He searched around and as one student stood to dump his group’s mixture, Elvis volunteered to do the task. He walked over to the sink, carefully poured the potion in his bottle, hid the bottle in his pants, washed the glass and gave it back to the student, while shielding his actions.
“Guess the notebook isn’t here,” he said to Ms. Blossom, departing the room. “If you find it, let me know. Thanks.”
Once the trio met in the restroom they added the Scope, Brut and chocolate milk and headed for Mr. Ito’s criminal justice class. Upon entering the room they looked for Teddy “Big Bear” Hamilton. Bear was the school’s top athlete. He was an all state defensive lineman, state wrestling runner-up and home run hitting catcher on the baseball team. Every college in the state wanted him despite his low grades and low test scores. After all sacks, takedowns and hits weren’t part of the college course load; they were part of the expectations of star athletes. Eligibility could be arranged.
Bear was also all man. He was 275 pounds of solid muscle. Despite his status, he shied away from the girls. Instead, weights, workouts and sports were his mates. All he talked about was playing in the Super Bowl or World Series someday. Also, he despised gays, calling them sissies, homos and whatever derogatory name he could.
Elvis had it planned to lure Bear into a trap. He remembered Mr. Ito telling the class that today would be a worksheet assignment in groups. He figured he could get Bear into their group because of Bear’s limited intelligence. He was not a high draft choice in the academic world.
Mr. Ito passed out the worksheets with instructions to use textbooks, notes and handouts to find the answers. Each member of the group had to complete his own page.
This was Mr. Ito’s way of keeping the students busy, and therefore, quiet, so he could watch all the afternoon television judge shows. He’d hand out the worksheets, go sit at his desk and watch Judge Judy and their cohorts. The only problem was that he had a hearing problem and turned his volume up quite loud. This often drowned out the class noise and forced students to talk loud to be able to work. Mr. Ito didn’t seem to mind it when the jailhouse rocked.
Ito was one of the prankster’s favorite targets. In previous years, he had experienced such frivolity as having his picture posted all over the school as a missing child, seeing his classroom door with the sign ‘Class in Media Center Today,’ a laxative in his drink, and the entire class searching for a lost contact lens that never was lost. Because he rarely disciplined students, they were willing to risk misbehavior.
Jose, Lamont and Elvis asked Bear
to join them in the back of the class. Before they slipped the potion into the Bear, they hoped to have some fun with him.
Question one read, “What’s the difference between criminal law and civil law?”
Elvis asked Bear if he knew the answer. “Criminal law means you broke the law and you’re a criminal,” Bear belted out. “I think civil law has something to do with the Civil War.”
“Man, I’m impressed,” said Elvis. “Now write that down. What about question number two?” The question was name three ways one can be punished for a criminal act?
“Suspended, expelled and detention,” offered the Bear.
“Man, you’re on a roll,” Elvis zapped back. “I think we might put down fines, probation and jail since they are about the same thing.
“Bear, I need you to do me a favor. Take a sniff of this,” Elvis said, holding up his juice bottle to Bear’s nose. “Make it a good long whiff.” So, Bear did as asked, with Jose shielding the view of the class. They moved onto question three which read name the two types of damages that can be awarded in a civil judgment?
“I got that right here,” Jose chimed in. “Compensatory which means payback and punitive which means punishment.”
Then something strange happened. Bear looked at Elvis and said in his best gay type voice, “Elvis, did I ever tell you that you are hot?” That’s some bod you got there. You come in under the gaydor. I can’t think straight. Puh-leese. You are so buff and would make a great drag queen. I never realized you…are you lonesome tonight?”
“Whoa,” Elvis interrupted. He was stunned by Bear’s words, but knew it was a result of their mixture. “Bear, I’m ashamed you’re talking like that.”
“Why you being so homophobic, Elvis?” Bear shot back. “You got something against gay people? Lamont and Jose looked at each other, realizing, too, it was their potion that was causing the Bear’s behavior.
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