by Rae, Alicia
We walked over to the hammock, and Kyle pushed both of his hands onto it to steady himself as he nervously lowered to a sitting position. I bit my lip, holding back a laugh. I was seriously not sure if the hammock would be strong enough to hold me, let alone him and his muscles.
He lifted his legs and stretched back into the hammock. He sat completely motionless as he waited to make sure it would hold his weight. “I see you trying not to laugh.” Grinning, he patted the space next to him.
A chuckle slipped past my lips. “One wrong move, and we’re going to flip. You know that, right?”
“Yep, so move slowly.”
I carefully braced my palms on the hammock and then slowly lowered myself next to him. Luckily for us, it was a pretty large hammock. I bravely pivoted my hips to snuggle into his side while using my legs to counter the movement. The familiarity of his body against mine was relaxing. Kyle had a way of putting my nerves at ease while ridding my mind of any unwanted thoughts.
“So, what do we do tomorrow?” I asked.
He kissed my forehead as his fingers brushed through my hair. I closed my eyes and welcomed his touch. He always knew how to soothe my uneasiness.
“We’ll take tomorrow one step at a time. We’ll do whatever you feel comfortable doing.”
I was ready to let sleep take me over. “Thank you…for everything,” I murmured. I let out a yawn.
Kyle kissed my temple softly. “Thank you for being my everything.”
***
Tender tiny fingers reached for me, pleading to be held, while the sweetest bluest eyes I had ever seen looked out to me. Little brown curls were wrapped around the smallest ears, and I wanted to run my fingers through the soft hair around the nape of his neck.
But I could not get closer.
I reached and reached, his hand just beyond my grasp each time.
My heartbeat kicked up a notch, and my blood pumped through my veins. My instincts told me I had to clutch on to that tiny hand at any sacrifice even if it cost me my life.
I scrambled, trying to think of a way to touch and grab hold of those precious hands.
Large hands gathered around those little fingers that I was so desperately attempting to get to and pulled them farther away from me.
***
“No! Give him back!” I screamed. I strained to sit up but firm hands wrapped around my waist, holding me down. My body swayed as if I were floating. My eyes darted around frantically, searching for that child, but I could only see darkness. Let me go!
“Lily!” a sleepy, rough voice said in my ear.
Cool air brushed along the exposed skin on my arms, and a chill ran up my spine. “No! Let me go! I need to help him!” Tears streamed down my face as my lungs constricted painfully, and I gasped for my next breath. I need to help that child.
“Lily, you’re dreaming,” Kyle said soothingly in an effort to calm me.
His hands ran up and down the sides of my arms while my body shook uncontrollably.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you,” Kyle said, his voice gentle. He drew me closer to the warmth of his body, keeping the coldness at bay. He hesitated for a moment. “Who did you need to help, Lily?”
I blinked as I inhaled the smell of him. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and sniffled rather loudly against his chest.
My dream rushed to the forefront of my mind.
Baby fingers. I felt slightly confused. I have never dreamed of…
The wheels of my early morning brain continued to turn.
Oh my god. I gasped at my revelation.
“Lily?” Kyle asked nervously, awaiting my response.
“I think I had a dream about…my sister’s baby.” The words felt foreign on my tongue. My heart ached as I mourned another life that had been lost on that day…a life that had never had a real beginning.
“I was trying to reach for him.” I took a deep breath, not knowing if the baby had even been a boy. “His little fingers were outstretched to me, too. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t grab him. Then, someone with large hands swooped him away from me.”
The sun was beginning to rise, and I could see the soft outline of Kyle’s features. He regarded me quietly for a moment, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
“Maybe that was a higher power stepping in, letting you know that he is okay,” he said.
My eyes broadened at Kyle’s words, and I pondered the idea briefly. In a way, it did kind of make sense. It was a better way to perceive my dream than what I had thought of as a bad guy stealing the baby. I exhaled, feeling relief from the positive spin on the scenario.
“I like that point of view better,” I replied quietly.
Kyle’s eyed me nervously as I pivoted on the hammock. He was probably hoping I wouldn’t flip us over. I placed my legs in between his and put my elbows on each side of his chest, looking down at his face.
“Let’s talk about something happier.”
The corner of Kyle’s mouth turned into a sexy grin. “You agreed to move in with me yesterday.”
“Holy shit, I did!” I screeched playfully. “I take it back!”
Kyle growled as he gripped my behind and pulled me up the length of his muscled body until we were face-to-face. His breathing accelerated as his eyes bore into mine. My need for him started in the deepest part of me, begging for release.
“Too late, beautiful. You. Are. Mine.”
Kyle’s mouth closed over my lips. Ours tongues mingled together, stroke for stroke. His hands came up around my face, pulling me against him. I groaned into his mouth and kissed him feverishly. I wanted to be even closer. I needed to feel his skin brushing against my own.
He belongs to me just as much as I belong to him.
I lifted his shirt carefully while trying not to rock us. I kissed his stomach tenderly as my fingers stroked the patch of hair leading from his navel to below his waistline.
Kyle groaned. “Lily, if you keep doing that, you won’t have to worry about us falling. I’ll end up tackling you to the ground.”
I suppressed my grin, taking it as a challenge, as I continued to kiss his stomach, focusing on his abdominal muscles. I wanted to memorize each delicious inch of his body.
Yesterday had emotionally drained both of us. Today, I desperately needed to feel a physical connection with my hands on his body and his on me.
He tensed as I slowly kissed my way up his side, reaching his lower rib cage. His exhale was followed by a shudder that vibrated his body along with mine. My desire for this man flowed throughout every possible nerve ending, intensifying with every touch.
“Lily…”
I heard the urgency in his tone, and I could not help but feel the same way. Kyle turned me onto my back and lifted his leg over mine, ready to straddle me, until the hammock swayed to the right. I squealed while instantly trying to counter the weight, but it was too late. The hammock flipped over and threw us on the ground. Kyle landed on top of me, but he’d braced most of his weight on his forearms and knees.
“You—” I started to say.
He kissed me, and I laughed.
“Made—”
He kissed me again, harder this time.
“Us—”
He took my mouth and deepened the kiss. He tugged at my lower lip before gently sucking it into his mouth, making me groan. His hand grasped the nape of my neck, pulling me even closer, as if he couldn’t get enough of me.
Coherent thoughts fled my mind. All that mattered was making love to this man during the sunrise. I slowly lifted my hips into his pelvis, feeling his erection straining against his jeans. My insides were twisting into knots, needing more.
Drawing back, Kyle glanced around the yard before he quickly removed his jeans and briefs while I looked in each direction, hoping we wouldn’t find anyone nearby.
“Thank God you don’t have neighbors,” he said.
He leaned down over the length of my body and removed my shirt without hesitation. His mouth made its way to
my already hardened nipple.
“I don’t think I could part from your beautiful body right now,” he said quietly.
He closed his lips over the sensitive peak and sucked it into his mouth. My back arched off the dew-covered morning grass, pushing my breast farther into his mouth, as I moaned.
I loved the way my body responded to his touches. It was instant, a deep connection that was always between us. I loved it and craved it. The overwhelming sensations of being desired by the man I loved were more powerful than any words.
Kyle slowly lifted his head, smiling affectionately. I smiled back as I ran my fingers through his hair. I looked into his eyes, seeing all the love I felt for him reflected there. I lowered my hands and caressed his sexy-as-hell morning stubble. My facial expression must have revealed my thoughts because he grinned at me.
“You like my morning stubble?”
I nodded. “Oh yes, it’s sexy.”
Kyle climbed up the length of my body until we were face-to-face. His eyebrows lifted as a boyish smile spread across his face. “Sexy, huh?”
I nodded again.
“I can’t hear you. I think you said I’m sexy,” he teased, rubbing his prickly facial hair across my cheek and neck.
It tickled and turned me on at the same time. As I felt his warm breath across my throat, I chuckled and squirmed, trying to get away, but his grip on my waist tightened.
I started laughing so hard that I could barely talk. “Okay! Okay!”
“Okay, what?” He paused, waiting for my surrender.
“You’re kind of sexy,” I joked.
Kyle’s mouth opened in shock as he pretended to be wounded. “Well, let’s see how sexy I can be.” The sensual threat was complete with dark and dangerous eyes full of promise.
Oh shit.
He lowered his head to place kisses along my jaw. I closed my eyes and withheld my groan of arousal while I loosely draped my arms around his neck. When his tongue licked the lower part of my earlobe, I shivered. His shoulders faintly shook as he chuckled. The contrasting temperature of his warm breath on my cool skin ignited every nerve in my body.
His hand gradually ran across my collarbone, grazed down my left side, and then came back up to my breast. He lowered down until he was eye level with my nipple. With the palm of his hand, he kneaded my breast gently before slowly licking deliberate circles around the peak.
I whimpered softly. Damn. His touches are heavenly.
His tongue teased the center of my breast, and then his lips expanded, drawing my nipple deep into his mouth. My back arched off the ground once again, pushing myself into his touch, as my breathing increased.
I could feel my orgasm starting to creep up. I quickly sealed my lips, not ready to cave. His caresses were just as full of pleasure as they were torture.
His hand moved down from my side and slipped around to my lower back, pulling me against him. I parted my legs, waiting for him to touch me where I needed him most, but his hand gripped my behind instead.
He lifted his head, and those two-toned eyes danced with victory. “Need something, beautiful?”
Completely breathless, I bit my lip and nodded. “You,” I practically panted, “are so sexy.”
My heart practically stopped beating when he smiled. My eyes watered at his beauty. I lifted my hand to his chest and swallowed hard.
“You are the one who is beautiful, Kyle.” My eyes dropped from his to where my hand was caressing over his heart. “Not just on the outside, but also what’s in here.” I looked up to his eyes a second time. “You are an amazing man with the kindest heart. You make me want more.”
Kyle released a deep breath. His eyes were raw with emotion as he raised his hands to cup either side of my cheeks, drawing me closer. His voice was full of sincerity as he said in a low tone, “We are going to have more.”
He kissed me with such passion that I felt as though my heart was opening to pull him in a little deeper.
I lowered my hand between our bodies, reaching for his erection. Kyle moaned as I started stroking up and down his hard length. I loved the way his velvety soft skin felt in my grip, but my body was aching to have him inside me.
I tipped my pelvis and pushed his erection into my slick heat. Gently gathering my hair in his hand, he broke our kiss and leaned his forehead against mine as he let out a deep groan. He shifted his hips and filled me even deeper. I cried out when my orgasm blindsided me. Kyle gritted his teeth as he continued making delicious long strokes, prolonging my pleasure, until a second release rocketed throughout my body. When my muscles contracted around him, his jaw tensed, forming a slight curve on his cheek.
The heat from his body and our movements had made me break out into a light sweat, making his skin slide against mine effortlessly. His hands were everywhere, stroking and caressing me beneath him.
I stretched my hands to grab hold of his broad shoulders as I lifted my hips to meet each of his thrusts. Kyle’s hands gripped my waist, his hold on me tightening, as he plunged harder inside me. His mouth covered mine, and he came with me as I spiraled into another orgasm. His name left my lips as sensations overtook me.
***
After we got dressed, I turned to look at the hammock. My body was spent after making love. I needed a few minutes to catch my breath before beginning my day. Without a word, Kyle held out his hand to me, and we carefully climbed back onto the hammock.
I snuggled my head against his chest while gently laying my leg over his as I rotated onto my side. I took a deep breath and inhaled his masculine scent mixed with my own. I reveled at how my smaller curves nestled into his larger ones, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly. Kyle’s hand caressed my cheek and neck as we lay together quietly. We each seemed to be lost in our own thoughts.
I blinked back tears, thinking of how much he truly meant to me…and how much that scared me. I opened my heart to loving someone again, but if I were to lose anyone else I loved, I knew my heart would shatter beyond repair.
I awoke to Kyle shifting in the hammock. As it swayed, I clutched his shirt with one hand while my other gripped the braided ropes. The light was shining through the trees, straight into my eyes, making me blink several times.
Kyle tilted his head to me and smiled. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
I yawned. “Hi. I can’t believe I fell back asleep. What time is it?”
He kissed my lips softly. “You were tired and in need of some rest.” He glanced at his phone. “It’s just after ten.”
My eyes widened, and I sat up. “Ten o’clock?”
“Whoa!” Kyle said as the hammock shifted from my movement. “Let’s not flip over again.”
I narrowed my eyes at him with a we-already-did-that look. “And whose fault was it we flipped the first time?”
“Oh no! I warned you what would happen if you kept touching me, so that one’s on you.” He laughed. “Besides, even if it was partially my fault, I was prepared when I tackled you to the ground,” he said innocently.
I playfully rolled my eyes at him. “I’m glad it was a well-thought-out plan.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’m always prepared, beautiful,” he replied. He warily leaned over to kiss my cheek with precise movements, so we didn’t tip over. “So, what’s on the agenda today?”
I shrugged, not quite sure what to say. I was here to work on things, so I needed to figure out a plan. I glanced up toward my home. Kyle watched me intently without saying a word, giving me time to ponder.
I sighed and shook my head. I did not want to go inside. I was not even sure if I could go inside. That house was full of memories. They had been happy memories, but now, they hurt. In my eyes, my family home reminded me of a scary haunted house, and as a kid, I’d hated haunted houses. I was pretty sure my Halloween experiences with three teenage male cousins were related to my panic attack issues.
Kyle’s eyes searched mine as I stared at the house. During my internal debate, my heart was beating f
rantically in my chest.
“Do you want to go inside?” he asked softly, breaking the silence.
I turned to face him, still trying to process the million thoughts running through my mind. “Do I want to?” I shook my head. “No.” I was quiet for another moment, and then I sighed. I hated being an adult when it came to making responsible choices. “Need to? Yes,” I added softly.
Kyle lowered his legs to the ground, one at a time, and then stood to his feet. He walked around the tree securing one end of the hammock before stretching his hand out to me. “Moving forward, remember?” he asked encouragingly.
While eyeing his hand, I took a deep breath and let it out. He’s right. I am moving forward. Time to put on those big girl pants again. I can take them off when I come out. I laughed at myself. Nerves had a way of making me act ridiculous.
Kyle smiled when I put my hand in his. Mine looked so small compared to his.
I took a shaky breath and nodded. “Let’s go.”
Although having him stand next to me made me feel stronger and more powerful, my hands shook slightly as we approached the stairs to the back patio. In a supportive gesture, Kyle tightened his grip on me.
Still holding my hand, his other one stopped just above the keypad to the door. He turned to face me. “Are you sure you’re ready? If not, there’s no rush, Lily. We’ll stay in Colorado for as long as you need.”
I put on my brave face. “I’m ready.”
I held my breath as he opened the back door to the mudroom. It was filled with cabinets, a washing machine and dryer, and a cubby compartment for shoes. Two big brown rugs covered most of the floor. My parents had set up this room perfectly for our family’s extra-curricular outdoor activities.
I clenched my hands as we walked through the mudroom and made our way into the kitchen. Mostly, the counters had been cleared. A coffee pot was on the smaller of the two counters, but I didn’t recognize it.
It must belong to one of my cousins.
A couple of dishes were sitting in the sink, but the rest of the room was bare. My heart sank as I thought of all the memories tied to this kitchen. Our family had loved to cook and eat together, and we had genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.