by Rae, Alicia
I wasn’t sure what had happened. “I was laughing, explaining each of the pictures to you. I wanted you to see what my life used to be like with my family.”
I lost myself in the moment again, replaying that morning in my mind.
“And then?” Kyle quietly prompted.
“And then, it hit me.” I pressed my hand against my heart. “Right here. Hard. I’ll never get another picture with her and my parents. I’ll never get another new memory. What I have is all I will ever get to keep,” I vented.
“But the ones you have, Lily, are so great and perfect in every way.” He gestured to the box. “You have so many happy ones, and no one can ever take that away from you.”
“I know. It just makes me want more.”
“I’m so sorry that your time with your family was cut short.” He caressed my cheek. “But I’m happy you have so many great memories of them.”
I could see the moment when the thought crossed his mind.
“Wait. I thought you were the one with the camera?” he asked.
I chuckled halfheartedly. “I was. Annie was, too.”
Kyle still looked confused.
“I was the nature photographer, and Annie was the twenty-four/seven personal family photographer.”
His eyebrow rose in question.
Another chuckle escaped me. “I know. It’s shocking.”
“So, you’ve never photographed people?” he asked.
“Not really. I like to photograph buildings, the outdoors, and sunsets. I was more particular. Annie photographed candid moments. She wanted every smile and every embarrassing happenstance whether the person cared or not.”
“It sounds like she was stubborn,” he teased. He wrapped his arms around my waist, eradicating any space between us.
I nodded. “She was.”
“So, stubbornness was a family trait?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Nope.”
Kyle chuckled and kissed my cheek affectionately. “That is exactly the answer I would expect from a stubborn person,” he joked to lighten the mood.
I knew he was trying to distract me from crying again, and I was relieved.
“Come on, my stubborn girl, let’s finish this up.”
As we went through the box, I told Kyle endless stories as we looked at pictures of vacations with my parents, quality time our family had spent together, and outdoor excursions with my cousins. I recalled how my sister and I had shared similar imaginations and how my parents showed unconditional love for us and each other. I had so many memories that would never be forgotten. I would cherish them forever.
Kyle left to make us turkey sandwiches. We ate in the room while sorting out the furniture. I wanted to keep Annie’s bedspread and furniture set. I wanted it in my home, and someday, I hoped to pass it down to my children. Although that would be far, far into the future, I knew I would be glad to have it. The thought of parting with it was inconceivable.
I kept her enormous white teddy bear. Kyle had given me those quizzical eyes when he saw it. I laughed and told him the story of when Annie and I had each received one for Christmas. We had each slept with ours every night for years. When I held it in my hands, it made me feel closer to Annie. It gave me comfort through my sadness.
Going through her clothes was tougher than I’d imagined. I made a pile to keep and another to donate. I wasn’t sure what I would do with the ones I kept, but a few held memories, and I simply couldn’t part with them. Kyle had reassured me that I should have no regrets and keep anything I wanted. He was right. I had no one to explain my reasons to.
I put aside a few keepsakes that would have meaning to my aunt and cousins.
Sitting in the middle of all the piles, I was completely surrounded by Annie. Powerful emotions—yearning, loss, emptiness—flowed through me, but I also felt small moments of comfort. The reactions I felt to each item were wild and without reason. I didn’t fully understand them, but I accepted them, knowing I needed to let them out.
It was midnight by the time we left the room. As I lay in bed, snuggling into Kyle’s warmth, I felt lighter for the first time. I truly hoped the worst was over. I fell asleep, dreaming of a lighter, happier future…a future with Kyle.
My morning started with me feeling anxious and stressed. Company would be coming over, and everything suddenly looked like a complete disaster. Jason, as promised, showed up bright and early. It made me recall that he was an early bird, too. Darn birds.
By ten, my body finally kicked into gear, and I was delegating tasks efficiently. Kyle handling a mop and Jason maneuvering a vacuum were sights to behold. At one point, Kyle even had a wood cleaner bottle and rag tucked into his pockets while he was cleaning the windows. I tried to tell him he could carry it all in a bucket, but he insisted that he was good.
Jason and Kyle’s relationship seemed to be strengthening. Mesmerized by their interactions, I watched them banter and laugh back and forth. They worked side by side as if they’d known each other for years. Just as they were about to go outside, the doorbell rang.
Aunt Lucie was at the door with her hands full of food and supplies. She offered a shy, hesitant smile. My heart clenched at her uneasiness.
“I thought I could help?” she asked softly.
I smiled, feeling very thankful for the offer. “Of course.” I gestured her inside.
“Jason told me how you were putting him to work.” Aunt Lucie chuckled. “So, I thought we could cook together.”
“That would be wonderful,” I assured her.
We walked into the kitchen and sorted through the bags. Since the men were already outside, the house was quiet.
“This is quite a bit of food for ten people, Aunt Lucie.” I laughed.
“Oh, Meg and A.J. are coming, too. I also figured you could use the leftovers, so you wouldn’t have to cook during your stay.”
As I pulled out the Crock-Pot for the pork, I wondered why Meg was still home. “Isn’t Meg supposed to be back at college?”
“She is.” Aunt Lucie nodded. “When she found out you were back, she came to visit for the weekend again. She’s only staying until Sunday afternoon.”
“Oh.” I was a bit surprised, but I was glad that I would be able to see her again.
My aunt began working her magic in the kitchen. “It will be wonderful to have everyone together again. How is your friend in Florida, dear?”
“Thankfully, Luke is expected to make a full recovery. How are you all doing?”
“We are well and happy to see you again.” She placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled lovingly. “Did you finish Annie’s room like you wanted?”
I let out a small breath. “I did.”
“You are so brave, dear. We are so proud of you.” Aunt Lucie hugged me and then held me at arm’s length. “You are so much like your mother, Lily. She had a tender, loving heart of gold. She was so strong and independent.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “You girls were her world. She loved you both so much.”
I blinked back tears and let out a sad smile. “I know. We loved her, too.”
“She would want you to be happy, dear. Both your parents would be so proud of you and the life you are starting with Kyle.” Her tears were freely flowing now.
“I know.” I hugged her hard. “I miss them so much.”
“Me, too, sweetie,” she whispered as we pulled apart.
“Shall we get back to the food now?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Aunt Lucie nodded with a smile. “Yes.”
We worked together to prepare all the food. Cooking for eleven people wasn’t a difficult task, but with three cousins and Kyle, it was like cooking for twenty. We made potatoes, veggies, fruit dishes, appetizers, and an extra-large pot of pulled pork. We had enough food to feed a small village.
Aunt Lucie was a great cook, and she loved to teach her tricks of the trade. Family gatherings had been a huge part of my childhood. All the girls had spent many hours in the kitchen while
the men, each with a beer in hand, had always congregated around the grill. Laughter always surrounded us.
Jason and Kyle walked in through the back door connected to the kitchen. They were covered in sweat and dirt. It was perfect timing because Aunt Lucie and I had just finished preparing all the food. Now, we just had to let it cook, and then we’d be ready to serve it when everyone arrived.
“I’m heading out to go take a quick shower, and then I’ll be back later,” Jason said to everyone.
Aunt Lucie spoke up first. “I better head home, too, so I can be back in time to finish preparing the food,” she said.
“Thank you both for all of your help today,” I replied.
Jason and Aunt Lucie started to make their way to the door.
“Yes, thank you,” Kyle added.
“You’re most welcome, dear. See you both later,” Aunt Lucie replied before stepping out the door with Jason.
Kyle and I waved good-bye before closing the door. Changing my attention to Kyle, I focused in on all that mud again.
“Were you two doing chores or playing in the dirt?” I wondered out loud while roaming my eyes over his forearms.
Kyle grinned and closed the distance between us. Energy immediately swirled between us.
Instead of running away from his sweaty hands, my eyes betrayed me as they traveled up and down his dirty work shirt.
I drew in a swift breath, instantly wishing he were shirtless.
“A bit of both,” Kyle finally answered as he wrapped his grimy hands around me.
I squealed and chuckled as I tried to evade him.
“Want to be dirty with me?” he asked with a playful, sexy tone.
“No!”
Kyle cut me off with a kiss.
I pushed against his chest, laughing. “You’ll get me muddy!”
He rubbed his chest against mine. He gave me a sexy grin, and my body responded against my freewill.
“I like you dirty,” he whispered roughly against my ear.
When he sucked my earlobe into his mouth, I moaned involuntary. Kyle chuckled. Before I could reply, I was tossed over his shoulders. As he headed for the stairs, I laughed while gripping his waist for balance.
“Time for a shower,” he demanded.
“This manhandling is getting out of control!” I smacked his ass, hoping it was a hard hit.
“It’s just getting started, beautiful,” Kyle said in amusement while tightening his hold.
I pinched the curve of his behind for stronger effect, but it backfired as he laughed harder. He continued his way up the stairs without breaking his stride. He was sexy and confident.
“You wanna play rough?” His tone sounded hot and urgent.
One hand tightened around my waist, firmly holding me in place. I soon felt the other leave my body only to reach that ticklish spot in between my thighs. The sensation was intensified from being held upside down.
I wiggled, trying to free myself. “Stop! Stop!” I squealed.
Kyle placed me on the bathroom vanity ever so gently. His eyes rapidly switched from a smile to heated passion. Power and strength radiated from his body while those eyes devoured me. His presence dominated the small bathroom, making my heartbeat accelerate a notch.
My breathing wavered as he leaned forward.
“You want me to take you here on the counter or in the shower underneath the warm water?” he breathed along my throat. His lips lightly grazed my skin with underlying promise.
Oh god. My insides begged for it to be right here, right now.
As if reading my mind, he stepped forward until his erection was pressing against my sex. When his lips kissed my throat, I groaned. I wrapped my legs around his waist while my fingers locked at the nape of his neck. I needed to feel his touch, his love for me.
My shirt and lace bra hit the floor. His groan of appreciation and hunger filled my ears. My pulse pumped throughout my body while I stripped off his shirt and then eagerly lowered his shorts and briefs.
His skin was slick with sweat. Dried dirt was smeared from the side of his wrist all the way up his forearm. It was surprisingly sexy and turned me on even more. I stroked my hand along its trail, feeling the gritty dirt along the hardness of his muscles.
He was sweaty and dirty yet hot as hell. I licked my tongue across my bottom lip while my eyes bore into the dark depths of his. Heat filled my cheeks as I realized he knew where my thoughts were. His hand curled around the nape of my neck, tugging me closer, and then his lips brushed against my throat once again.
“I fucking love the feel of your skin,” he rasped against my ear. “It’s so soft, so delicate.” He placed soft kisses down the length of my neck. His lips lingered as if he couldn’t break the contact.
My breathing became deep and uneven, matching Kyle’s. The tension between my thighs increased. I felt as though all my blood was rushing to the center of my core. My hips rocked against him, pleading for more. My body had a mind of its own, and it wanted Kyle. It always wanted Kyle.
“Hold on to me,” he commanded, his voice strained with desire.
His hands went for my shorts, and I lifted my hips to help him as he pulled them off my body with force. I needed him now. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist until I felt the tip of his thick erection brush along my wet core.
As my sex tried to pull him in, the muscles in his jaw clenched, and he let out a deep breath. His hands tightened over my thighs while his mouth descended on mine urgently. My thighs clenched as I sank into the kiss, caressing my tongue along his. With every kiss, his erection penetrated me slowly, going slightly deeper each time. My delicate tissues squeezed around him, building the pleasure in my core.
Kyle thrust forward, and I rocked along with him, taking me closer to that edge I so desperately wanted to tip over. He groaned deeply as his body shook with pleasure. Each measured stroke made my groin constrict in response. The pressure within my abdomen was building at an increasing speed, and I knew I couldn’t hold back long. His effect on me was overwhelming.
Kyle’s hands cupped the upper part of my thighs, and he lifted me off the counter. My mind was entangled with sensations spiraling out of control. As he stroked precisely along my tender flesh, my orgasm slammed into me. I cried out against his neck as I roughly clasped onto his arms. Light exploded behind my eyes as ecstasy flowed outward from my center.
I barely realized we had entered the bedroom until Kyle gently lowered us to the bed. All the while, his hard length stayed inside me. My eyes landed on his face. This man’s desire and love for me was evident in his eyes.
I could feel his love for me. It was the most precious, exquisite feeling I’d ever experienced. He was healing the broken pieces of my soul. Seeing his pure male satisfaction from pleasing his woman was just plain hot. It made my insides stir and beg for more.
Kyle’s mouth stroked my lips delicately with every touch. As his hands caressed up and down my sides, my nerve endings came alive. My inner muscles clenched around him while he drove into me. I reached for him, wanting to feel his bare skin and muscles beneath my hands.
My breaths came in and out, perfectly in sync with his thrusts. My insides tightened as I felt that familiar pull deep within my gut. I gripped him hard, trying to prolong my release. I wanted to revel in each sensation and feel it intensify.
Kyle’s hands ran possessively down the curve of my waist until they clasped around my hips. A low growl emanated from his throat. “Let go, Lily.”
He tensed above me and then shifted his hips in two perfect circles while keeping his gaze on me. With blood thrumming in my ears, I released my orgasm on a cry. Kyle let out a shiver as he came, slowly pulling in and out to prolong our releases.
He collapsed on top of me, and I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of his bare chest and stomach against mine. My fingertips ran soothingly up to his neck until I touched his hairline. Then, I made the descent to the top of his muscular shoulders.
Kyle moaned agains
t my throat before kissing it. “God, that feels good,” he groaned, snuggling closer to me. “Don’t stop. Ever.”
I chuckled and kissed his shoulder. Our breathing was finally starting to even out, and my post-orgasm brain fog was clearing. Then, reality hit full force. Dinner!
“Oh my god! What time is it?” I tried to jump up, but the solid chest above me effectively blocked me.
Kyle bit back a grin as I let out a laugh. It was so not funny, but here I was, laughing.
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Jason said everyone would arrive at six, so we still have an hour.” He lifted off the bed and helped me to my feet. “Time to clean up, beautiful.”
He headed to the bathroom, and I followed closely on his heel.
Entering the shower, we bathed in our usual routine of washing each other. In between cleansing, we caressed and embraced each other with small kisses here and there.
After we finished drying off, Kyle walked into the bedroom to dress while I blow-dried my hair. I applied light foundation and blush, wanting to keep my make-up light. I started applying mascara just as Kyle walked back in.
I smiled at his reflection in the mirror.
He kissed my cheek and then tilted his head. “You look beautiful without makeup,” he said kindly.
“It’s a girl thing.” I laughed. “It makes me feel pretty.”
Kyle frowned. “You are pretty.” He swept the hair off my neck and kissed my skin gently. “Even prettier without it.”
I pivoted in his embrace and kissed his soft, sweet lips. “Thank you,” I murmured. Turning to face the mirror again, I went back to applying mascara on my opposing eye.
He laughed softly.
“What’s so funny?” I opened my mouth back into an O-shape to finish my lower lashes.
“Why do you have your mouth opened like that?” Moving behind me, Kyle put his hands on the counter, his arms surrounding me and closing me in.
“Uh…” I shrugged, my back touching his chest. “Habit?”
He bit his lip to keep from chuckling. When I elbowed him in the chest, he broke out into a full belly laugh.