“I can’t believe this has happened.” Jimmy shakes his head as he sits.
I collapse next to him. Shit. Did something bad happen to Mr. Waters? Is he lying in a hospital bed somewhere? Or worse yet, in a morgue? Not Mr. Waters. No. No.
“How could they just sack him like that?”
“Sack him?”
Jimmy stares at me like I’m the village idiot. “You did know Mr. Waters was fired, didn’t you?”
“Fired? That can’t be. He just took us to a win at State. Almost. They wouldn’t fire him.”
“Well, they did. Thanks to Charles.”
“Charles? What does he have to do with anything?” I’m so confused. Mr. Waters could not be fired. This has to be another one of Jimmy’s jokes.
“Charles’s dad called the superintendent and raised a stink because Mr. Waters brought his boyfriend on the trip to State.”
“What?”
“Yep. That bastard stirred up some shit that couldn’t be unstirred. I heard there was an emergency school board meeting yesterday, and they canned Mr. Waters immediately. Didn’t even let him speak. What total bullshit!”
My mind’s reeling. Mr. Waters. Gone. I start shaking. Trembling all over. I feel like I’m going to explode.
Jimmy puts his hand on my shoulder. “Dewey. You okay?”
I can’t breathe. This is not happening.
I hear Jimmy say, “Ma’am, I need to get him to the nurse’s office.” He drags me up from the chair. My knees wobble. Jimmy puts his arms around my waist, holding me up. “Ma’am, I need a little help here,” he says to the substitute teacher. I feel another pair of hands on me.
They push me from the room, supporting me all the way. I need air. No breaths are reaching my lungs. I’m dying.
In the hallway, I see the exit door. I break away from Jimmy and his helper. I fall against the push bar. The door flies open. I fall through it, but I manage to get upright. I hear Jimmy tell the sub to go for help.
Jimmy reaches me, steadies me, as I take deep breaths, trying to gain my life back. At last the air penetrates. My lungs start to work.
“I have to get out of here, Jimmy.” I run for my car, across the lawn, in the parking lot.
“Come back, Dewey,” I hear Jimmy call, but his voice is far away as I reach my car. I start the thing and pull away as I see Jimmy, the sub, and the nurse standing, watching.
I know where I’m heading. The only place where I want to be.
I race down Belknap, not even thinking about a cop lurking around every corner. I have to get there. And I have to get there before I collapse again.
I pull into the drive.
He’s not home yet.
I know that.
I sit on the front step.
Wait.
A long time passes.
I’m numb.
I stare at my watch.
Ninety long minutes since I fled school.
I stare up the street.
A city bus.
He steps out and begins to plod toward his house. When he finally looks up and sees me, he starts to run.
As Jeep reaches me, I stand and fall into his arms.
Chapter 18
LIFE HAS a way of moving things along. Who knew an earth-shattering experience like Mr. Waters getting fired would push me into Jeep’s arms, would make me realize being happy is the most important thing, would change my life totally?
There I was, wanting only Jeep’s comfort. Wanting to feel him hold me. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was only when I calmed down that he asked me what was wrong. Funny. He just knew I needed him, and he didn’t care why at the moment. I told him about the strange day, how nobody talked to me, like I was the plague to be avoided. I’d thought everyone would be happy for me and my win. It was such a shitty day all I wanted was to get to drama class. Then I got to drama and found out Mr. Waters had been fired. Jeep said that’s why nobody talked to me all day. They knew what had happened. They knew how close I was to Mr. Waters. They figured I knew too. They didn’t know if they should say anything or not. Jeep understood all that. Jeep was caring and loving and understanding, and I was a fool for rejecting him.
From that moment, I knew Jeep and I would be together—always. I thought it would be hard for me to accept, but I’d learned, through all this, that love should always win. LOVE, the play, taught me that. And I have Mr. Waters to thank. He had to have known I needed that lesson, as I needed so many lessons he taught me. The school board was wrong. Charles’s dad was wrong. All we need is love.
I hope Charles knows that too.
It took a little while for Jeep to trust me when I told him all this. I’d put him through hell, and even though he stuck by me through it all, Jeep feels things deep inside. I had to keep telling him I loved him, keep reassuring him, until he finally caved and accepted it—and me.
Jeep and I are firmly committed to each other now. None of this, “I’m not that way” stuff. I’m gay, and I intend to live proudly and happily. I know that sounds hokey, but knowing I love Jeep is the greatest revelation ever given to me. I’ve finally embraced the Randy in me.
Unfortunately, I’m still having a hard time letting that be known. That’s the only sore spot between Jeep and me now. I told him I needed time, but Jeep, as understanding as he is, thinks you have to pull off a Band-Aid quickly. He expected me to go straight home and tell my parents. I, however, was chickenshit.
Jeep’s told his mom about us, and she was not happy at first. She might be cool with his being gay, but she’s also ridden the roller coaster I’ve put Jeep on all these months. I know the mother in her was not believing I could change so quickly, so fiercely. But she came around.
Daddy ranted and raved about “that queer teaching our kids all that time.” I still haven’t had the courage to reveal to him his own son is one of those queers too.
I did tell LuLu, and I think she was happier I was using the g-word than she was I was finally with Jeep. That’s not really true, but she smiles every time I say the word gay. She has gone to movies with me and Jeep, and she’s even gone to see Jeep’s band play. I like seeing her because come graduation, she still plans to migrate westward. Hollyweird is calling, she says.
I’ve seen Mr. Waters. Jeep and I went to his apartment. He told me not to worry; he and Glen were planning to move away from Fort Worth. All the way to Chicago. He has a friend there who can get him a job in professional theater. Him and Glen, both. So maybe the drama students of the world have suffered a loss, but I expect to see his name—Rob Waters—in Broadway lights before you know it.
Grandma is giving a graduation party for me and Joey today. Graduation is next weekend, so this Saturday is for me and Jo. The party’s at our house, and Grandma has been cooking food all week. Most of the guests are family, but I’ve invited Butch, LuLu, and Jeep. And Jimmy—maybe he can pick up some new gossip to reveal to me. Who’s sleeping with who in my own family, that sort of stuff. Jimmy’s good, but I really don’t think he’s gonna find any dirt in this family. But if I know Jimmy, he’ll try.
Jo arrives with Aunt Juney and Uncle Bert trailing behind. It is so good to see them all. Joey had said, “I figured Mama, especially, would skip the party. But she and Daddy both said they wouldn’t miss it for anything.” It made me so happy to hear that. And here they were, all smiles. Aunt Juney was even toting a Tupperware container of her famous brownies. Yum.
We are all stuffed by the time the party is winding down. Jeep and Lulu both can’t praise Grandma and her cooking enough. She is beaming, and that makes me a happy camper.
I’m chowing down on my third brownie when Butch leaves Jo’s side to come talk to me. Those two have really become pretty good friends.
Butch says, “Dewey, the brownies are great, aren’t they?”
“Sure are, Butch. Always are.”
“If I’d known how good your aunt makes them, I might have joined your family a long time ago.”
We laugh. I’m happ
y Butch feels so comfortable around us all.
“Dewey, what ya doin’ this summer? You know, before you go off to college in September?”
“I don’t know. Make me some money, I guess. Probably apply to work at Cox’s or Stripling’s.”
“Sounds good. They don’t pay so good, but with your full scholarship, all you’ll need is some pocket money anyway. I’m going for big bucks.”
“So you finally found a better paying job?”
“Sure did. Joined the Marines.”
That hits me like a ton of bricks. “Marines?” I try to keep my voice steady. But I want to scream at him. How could he volunteer to fight in this shitstorm?
“Yeah. The recruiter says I won’t even have to go to Nam. Says when I finish basic, I can pick any job I want—here, Stateside.”
Yeah, sure. They’ll say anything to make their quotas. But if my best friend is going to be shipping out to Vietnam before he knows it, maybe it’s best to just keep what I think to myself. “That’s great, Butch.”
“I plan to send all my paychecks to Mama.”
“I’m glad you finally found a way to really help her a lot. I’m gonna miss you, Butch.”
“Dewey, I’ll be home on leaves. We’ll see each other.”
Sadness is already clouding my thoughts. But I have to stay positive. “Sure, Butch.”
At that moment, Grandpa loudly proclaims, “Attention, please!”
The crowd hushes.
Grandpa continues. “Joanna, Dewey, your grandma and I have a couple of little gifts for you. Come with us.” Grandma has joined him, and they turn. Jo and I catch up, and together Grandpa leads us out the back door and up the driveway. Everybody else is following.
We get to the back parking lot, and the entire group, the whole family and our friends, start cheering.
There, parked side by side, are two cars I’ve never seen before. How they got parked there without me seeing them go up the drive is beyond me. On the left is a cherry red ’66 Ford Fairlane; on the right, a ’65 electric blue Chevelle Malibu. My dream car!
“Kids,” Grandpa says, “your grandma and I are so proud of you. Graduation is a big deal, and these cars are for you two. They’re not new, but we think you’ll get a lot of use out of them anyway. Joanna, you like red, don’t you?” Joey squeals as he hands her car keys. “And Dewey, it hurts my soul to have to pay for a Chevrolet, but your grandma says this is the car you’ve been wanting forever, so I want you to have it.” And he hands me my keys. “And don’t come crying to me if it breaks down on the freeway. It’s not a Ford, you know. What can you expect?”
Everybody laughs at that.
“Go ahead—take ’em for a spin,” Grandpa says. Everybody moves out of the way as Jo gets in her Fairlane. Butch joins her, riding shotgun. I’m wondering now if what they have is more than a friendship. But with Butch’s news he just told me, I banish the thought he and Joey could be romantic. Besides, she’d never let him enlist if they were in love. They back out and head down the drive.
My turn, with LuLu and Jeep fighting over the front passenger seat. I pull out of the driveway, and we glide down the road. It drives like a dream. What a perfect graduation party. What a perfect gift. I have the best family in the universe. The best mother. The best daddy—if he never finds out about Jeep and me, that is. And the best grandparents.
Graduation comes and goes. What can top the party, after all? Yes, it’s a great feeling to get my diploma with the whole family cheering. Even the out-of-towners come back the next weekend for the big ceremony. But somehow it doesn’t feel quite so good with Mr. Waters not here.
Right before we start, Miss Zelko comes up and says, “You did it, Dewey. I’m proud of you. Not everybody can win a full scholarship, can graduate so close to the top of his class. But you used what it takes, didn’t you?”
And together, we say, “Blood, sweat, and tears,” and laugh.
Graduation over, it’s time to find that job. Jeep’s already signed on as a bagger with Safeway. But I want something a little different. I love the way the department stores smell, so I figure that’s the place for me.
I head out in my new car—I call her Milly Malibu, Milly for short—to hand in applications at the finer retailers of Fort Worth. I first head downtown to Stripling’s. At the employment office, they tell me they have all the help they need for this summer. So Cox’s is next. I know someone whose mom is a buyer there, so I go to the Camp Bowie store. I talk to the head of hiring, even toss out my friend’s mom’s name. She takes an application, but she says it may be a while before they need anybody.
I’m about at the end of my rope when I walk into Monnig’s on East Lancaster. Yes, there are lots of locations of all the stores, but getting rejected twice is making me feel like getting a job is harder than I expected.
I head to the employment office. “I’d like to put in an application, please.”
“How soon can you start?” I was not expecting that.
“Uh, we-e-ll.” I sputter as I speak. “Today, I guess. Right now, if that’s what you need.”
“Son, the guy in menswear didn’t come in. I called him, and he told me he was quitting, effective right now. So, yessiree, I need somebody pronto.” He hands me a form. “Fill this out. Let me look it over. If I like what I see, I’ll put you on the sales floor in the next fifteen minutes.”
I do what he says, and within a quarter of an hour, he is introducing me to Becky, a pretty young woman a few years older than I am. “Becky, this here is Dewey. Show him the ropes. Tomorrow, you’ll be back in ladies’ ready-to-wear, like usual. Dewey, don’t let me down.”
I have a crash course in sales, stocking, refolding, and working the register. My head is spinning, but I take it all in.
“Don’t worry, Dewey,” Becky says, “I’ll be right here beside you all the way. And if you’re not totally comfortable by the end of the day, I’ll tell Mr. Shepherd you need another day’s training.” She rolls her eyes. “Ready-to-wear is a big department, but my friend over there can handle it without me for another day, if need be. Shepherd’s a worrier.”
I like Becky. And I like she is a woman of her word. She lets me shadow her for a couple of hours; then she shadows me for the rest of the day. By quitting time, I feel ready. It’s been more fun than stressful.
I’m all ready to act the role of Menswear Salesman the next day. And that’s what I do.
My second day is uneventful. Customers come in, customers go out. They undo shirts, I fold ’em back. They leave things in the dressing rooms, I reshelve and rehang. I turn on my charm, using my award-winning acting skills, and make some big sales. Mr. Shepherd is pleased by the end of the day.
“Great job, Dewey,” he says. “Here’s your schedule.” He thrusts a piece of paper into my hand. “We never discussed it, but I assume you’re okay working some evening shifts?”
“Sure,” I say. I don’t have anything else to do. I only hope my evening shifts are different from Jeep’s mom’s evening shifts. After all, Jeep and I need our alone time.
As Mr. Shepherd walks away, I look at the schedule he’s handed me. Good. Jeep’s mom works Tuesday and Friday nights. Mr. Shepherd has me on Thursday and Saturday. So all is well.
I love my evenings with Jeep. We don’t always wind up in bed, but when we do, we love every minute. Long ago, Jeep told me there was more he had to teach me. And he was not wrong.
Our playtime is incredible. I didn’t know I could feel so good, so loved. Jeep is gentle and kind and considerate—and passionate. And he makes me laugh. Never in my wildest dreams have I experienced what I have with Jeep. Not with Lisa, that’s for sure. First of all, Lisa was always kind of a cold fish. And I admit I was not really into her, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. But Jeep and I are a perfect fit, and everything he teaches me is just what I want to do. Daddy would shit a brick if he knew, but how can this be wrong? So many times, as I leave Jeep’s house, I whistle the Beatles. “All You Need
Is Love,” indeed.
Around the middle of June, after I’ve reluctantly left Jeep’s, there is a letter waiting for me from LuLu when I get home. I rip it open.
Hey, DewDew,
Everything is copacetic here in La-La Land. I found a cheap apartment last week. That fleabag hotel was getting expensive, even for a trust-fund baby like me. I hope you’re getting the big bonuses as Monnig’s top salesman. If anybody can do it, you can. That killer smile will melt even the most heterosexual of your customers.
I’ve got a lead on an agent. A girl I met at an open audition turned me on to him. And don’t worry, I won’t sleep with him to get a contract. I’m not that desperate, yet. Now, if Monty Clift wants me to sleep with him to prove I should be his next leading lady, I’m not averse to that. I hear he pitches for your team, though, so I guess that’s one opportunity I’ll never get.
Say hi to Jeep for me. Tell him to kiss you for LuLu.
I love you, DewDew,
LuLu, the next Dorothy Dandridge
I wipe a tear off my cheek. Why am I crying? I’m happy for LuLu. She’s making her way out there. It’ll be a hard road to travel, but if anybody can do it, it’s my LuLu. I expect to see her accepting an Oscar in the near future.
I miss her. But, as I said, life has a way of moving things along. LuLu has her destiny, and I have mine, I guess. And a free theater degree from North Texas State University is a pretty good destiny. Not to mention a life with Jeep. I’m blessed.
Wednesday, June 23, is just like any other Wednesday. I get to work, set up the cash in the register, then start straightening my department. Five or so minutes after, Becky comes in.
“It’s awful, isn’t it?”
I look at her. Don’t have a clue what she’s talking about. “What’s awful?” I say, as I’m folding a shirt for the second time this morning. I just can’t seem to get it right.
“Judy.”
“Judy? Judy who?”
All You Need Is Love Page 23