"Hey. I'm going out for some air, you wanna come?"
"No thanks." My clipped response was the same one I'd been using all week long, my eyes scanning the new device I'd been given to store my notes as I studied a thick, ancient book from the queen's private library.
"Rose." Camilla sounded desperate to try and reach me from the depths of my study-driven state. "You need a break."
"No thanks," I responded yet again.
"This isn't healthy!" Camilla stressed. "I know what they did was bad, uncalled for, and very un-fae like, but pushing yourself day and night and secluding yourself in your room isn't how you're supposed to prepare for school. You're going to have to face everyone when you get a grasp of everything and you don't want to look like a zombie."
Why does it matter? I'm not beautiful, not even close to these graceful beings. It shouldn't matter if I have bags under my eyes or even look like I lost ten pounds in five days.
I'm sure that was what happened, seeing as all the lavish clothes didn't fit perfectly anymore.
Not like I was wearing them either.
I'd packed all the clothes into boxes provided by Camilla and sent them back to where they came from - to Xavier's front step.
I wasn't going to accept fake kindness. I knew I'd have to confront him when I started attending classes. I could only imagine what kind of lecture he got from the queen, if he got one at all.
He was a prince, after all. Surely he could do whatever he wanted.
After accepting the queen's invite to be her chosen apprentice, I was told I'd be given four solid months to prepare for school life. Obviously, I was at a disadvantage with my inability to conduct magic with the snap of my fingers, but the queen assured me that I'd be ready within three.
I figured it was impossible, but I wasn't going to question the queen's assumptions of me. She must see something special in me, to take me under her wing when there were far better potentials out there.
So far, I'd secluded myself in my room, requesting all my meals to be left outside the door. I'm sure others would talk about how I'm acting like a spoiled princess, but I didn't have the energy to mingle with the very people that smiled and tried to deem themselves as friends.
They didn't deserve my presence, and I wasn't going to entertain them when I had a new goal in mind.
I'd get vengeance in the best way possible, and it started with me dedicating my body, mind, and soul to learning about my kind. Knowing their strengths and weaknesses would help me so that when I started school in the new year, I'd be ready.
I felt that was the very reason why the queen wasn't throwing me right into the school curriculum like she should have. If she did, with my vulnerable, human way of thinking, I'd be eaten alive in the most extravagant way to make it look less dreadful than it should have been.
Eaten alive with fae etiquette.
I was confident that the moment I started classes, my "break" would be used against me. I wasn't going to fall for their fake smiles when behind the shadows they were talking poorly about me.
My lingering silence had Camilla sighing. "I'm going for a walk and pulling you out of those sheets to shower! You smell!"
Do I? Hmm. It could be my willingness to join the trash pit where I apparently belong.
"No thanks," I repeated, which only made her growl at my ignorance. "That's it, I'm going to go beat someone up!"
As a best friend, I should have told her that I did not to condone violence to let out her anger, but if it meant Ella, Monica, or some other bully fae was going to get hurt, I couldn’t care less about the results.
The door slammed shut, triggering my gaze to move from the tablet to the white door frame.
With a frown, I lowered the tablet and looked at the dreadful outfit I'd been wearing; one of my two outfits.
Taking a slight sniff of the wretched cloth, I cringed and pulled my head right back at the foul smell.
"Okay. Shower on the to-do list," I quietly declared. Bookmarking the spot I'd been on, I rose up from the little study fort I made in the corner of our dorm room. It looked as though I'd walked from a dump and entered a massive room of elegance.
My fort consisted of water bottles, empty trays of food, books, and a large blanket that was hovering over it all. A makeshift tent to seclude me from the world.
Walking into the empty closet, I missed the colorful scene of clothing I knew I'd never be able to afford. The softness of the silky underwear that was bought on my behalf compared to the rags I’d brought from my human lifestyle.
My charitable mindset was tainted by a dream I'd wished to enjoy. It hurt to realize my fake reality and know I couldn't shift my mind back to the old one.
Is this me?
That was the question haunting me every day this week, and I was far too afraid to surrender myself to the new reality I would have to face whether I liked it or not.
There was a slight knock at the door, and I walked out of my closet to open it. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Camilla's effort to get me walking and avoid whatever an embolism was.
Human medical terminology wasn't very useful in a world with magic and healing fairies.
"Camilla. I'm going to shower, so leave me..." I trailed off as the door opened and there stood Prince Rainer. I blinked, taking in his tall nature and casual clothes.
A red t-shirt with ROYAL in big letters and white sweat pants was the highlight of my entire stay here so far. Never could I have thought fae wore normal clothes like us humans.
His hair was down, accenting the soft features of his slightly tanned complexion, and I'm sure if you didn't pay attention to his flat chest, you would think he was a girl.
"Prince Rainer." I bowed my head in respect, and he chuckled. "Please. In these clothes, do not worry about formalities. Just call me Rain."
"Rain? Is that your real name?" I inquired before I blushed. "I-I mean, it's probably the shortened version of your last name, right?"
"Hahaha, no. My first name is actually Rainer. Our kingdom doesn't like revealing our family names unless necessary. That resulted in me being called Prince Rainer, and many people think our kingdom is Rainer. It's rather amusing when you know the secret to it."
I grinned and nodded in agreement. "I can only imagine laughing silently."
Lowering my gaze to the bag in his right hand, I looked back up with an innocent expression. "Did you need to bring something for Camilla? She's not here, but I can put it in her room if you like?"
Rain smiled. "No, I'm actually here on your behalf."
"Me?" I questioned in shock. "Why?"
"I've been asked to bring you out to somewhere," he proudly stated.
"Um..." I trailed off, looking down at my attire. "I'm sorry, Prin-"
"Rain," he smiled as he corrected me.
"Rain." I grinned slightly and continued, "I have nothing to wear. Sorry for the cheesy Cinderella moment."
"Didn’t Prince Xavier get you a bunch of clothes?" he inquired. "The only reason why I know is because my sister is the one that helped create them."
"Your sister?" I inquired. "I thought you were the only child?"
I felt bad for being nosey and bowed my head slightly. "Sorry for the disrespect. My curiosity often outweighs my common sense. I'm still learning how to converse with the fae."
Rain smirked and walked past me. I closed and locked the door, figuring he must want some privacy since the walls apparently had ears if you had conversations in the hallways versus our rooms.
Camilla had done some spell to ensure nothing would leave the barricade of our room, which was another good protocol to have if the prince himself was visiting me.
"The fae communicate just as humans do. The only difference is I am of royal heritage. However, that doesn't apply between us, Rosadette. Please be at ease."
"Thank you." I could rest easy, but I still felt a little embarrassed at my outfit and the little corner I'd been practically living in. "I do have to apologize for my ou
tlook and, well...study nest, if I can even call it that."
"The queen was worried you'd get lost in studies and forget about self-care," he noted and offered the bag to me. "I figured it would be nice to dress up a little and walk about. You have to see the queen a little later, but that gives a few hours’ time to do whatever."
I looked at the bag, slowly taking it from his grasp and peering into it to see folded clothes. From the mere material that had bits of sparkles of glitter, it looked expensive.
"Rain...I can't-"
"As much as I'd be fine with you coming naked, Rosadette, I think wearing a simple dress would be good to meet the queen."
My face burned red and I pressed the bag to my chest. "Thank you, Rain,"
"Your very welcome, Rosadette." He beamed happily. Casually putting his hands in his pockets, he looked at my fort. "You've been studying really hard."
I nodded and shuffled over to my fort, picking up the tablet and ancient book sitting on the floor before kicking the single wardrobe pole that I'd been using to keep the blanket afloat with the help of some heavy dictionaries.
This was my way of hiding the evidence, even though I'd have to do a major clean of it later.
"I...wanted to study in solitude. Can't do it anywhere else but here. I don't necessarily like studying in my room where I sleep. It makes it hard to differentiate sleeping and studying," I explained.
"That's a good way of looking at it." He bobbed his head in approval. "Though, I can help make a better fort."
"Can you?" I asked excitedly, but I frowned and quickly shut my happy feelings down. "I should do it on my own. I can think of something."
He frowned and walked up to me.
"Rosadette." His eyes looked questionably at mine, trying to find what I was trying to hide. "When you're around me, can you just act like your usual self?"
"I am my usual self," I noted.
"I mean the girl who first entered our world with bright eyes and joyous wonder that hugged around you. Your aura glowed like a blooming flower, and you were ready to explore every part of this world."
"I'm still that person," I argued.
"No." He shook his head. "Part of that died on that platform."
We were both silent, the memory reminding me of the dark, embarrassing moment. I'd tried desperately not to think of it, but in the depths of the night, it would draw its big head - forcing me to relive the moment and hear the cruel words that made a wound in my fragile heart.
"Back then I didn't have to question my future," I muttered, glancing at the flat blanket that covered the mess I'd received safe haven from. "Now I'm on a path towards a questioning future, one I'm not sure I truly want."
"Is it because you've only gotten to see the faulty beauty of our kind?" His question had me look back at him. His gaze was serious, and the red in his eyes sparkled with curiosity.
"You trusted people you thought wouldn't lead you astray, including Prince Xavier, right?"
When I nodded, he closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm rather disappointed in Xavier, but he's one of those odd individuals that you can't predict where he's going or what he’s aiming to achieve. In his mind, he most likely thought the ridicule and commentary would make you stronger. He never takes into account that in order to become strong, one has to come crashing down and face what made them crumble first."
Pulling his hands from his pockets, he moved a few strands of my hair, which was probably horrifying to look at, and yet his eyes so graciously gave me their full attention.
"Does that excuse what had happened? No. It does not. It doesn't push away the fact that they hurt you. That their commentary sliced at you like a sword against your flesh. You're feeling the aftermath of that resonating pain, and as your wounds are fighting to heal, you’d rather use that destructive energy that you wished you carried to use against those people to enhance your wisdom."
He eyed me again, his eyes lowering down to my feet and right back up.
"However, you're not doing it right, Rose."
It was weird how my shortened name sounded so perfect when it came out from his lips.
"I'm not?"
"You've lost a lot of weight, have you not? I actually liked your curves."
I blushed at his obvious admiration, looking away and trying not to focus on my racing heart. "Just a little."
"Twelve and a half pounds," he noted.
"How...no. It was only ten."
"When was the last time you checked?" he inquired.
"Two days ago."
"Go check," he dared, but my gut told me he'd somehow be completely right. I went to check anyway, Rain following me up to the doorway of the washroom. I quickly stepped on the scale, not caring about the clothes I wore seeing as the simple gown probably weighed nothing with how thin and worn down it was.
How did he get the exact number?
"Y-You're right! What voodoo did you do?!"
"Magic, Rose." He seemed pleased with my reaction. "And that's the Rose I like to see."
I turned around to look at him.
"You never met me prior to the exam," I noted.
"No. I observed from afar. Whenever a potential person like yourself gets the attention of our sister kingdom, we have to observe and see if they’re a potential threat. Silly, old rules, but you can't fully trust partnerships, can you?"
"No," I mumbled, remembering how Xavier was supposed to be my partner but never once stood up for me when we were on the same team.
"Xavier's actions really hurt you." He hit my insecurities right on.
"I come from a beautiful, rich country," I whispered, a bitter smile forming on my lips. "A place only those born of luxury can enjoy. I was the unfortunate one. The orphan dumped by my parents and left to be the pitiful child of my village. It was only luck that I met Camilla, who became my sole best friend. I knew nothing of her fae heritage, but she was rich, with the best clothes and a beautiful home with walk-in closets and a lovely bed. I should have envied her, like the many people around me, but I didn't. I stayed true to who I was and accepted that everyone isn't cut from the same cloth. I won't deny my craving to live a different life, to not believe that my parents could abandon me with only my name and nothing more, but sometimes life gives you lemons, and you just have to make that lemonade."
I struggled not to lower my head as I continued, "I was told by a drunk man to go to some shrine on the night before my birthday. Right at twelve, something crazy happened, and that was when Xavier arrived with a bunch of soldiers and basically wanted to whisk me away to his world. He threatened to put Camilla in a coma, which was the reason I punched him in the face. That landed me into this world where I found out I was fae and given the chance to attend Fae Rose. He saw where I came from. He entered the place I called home, even though it was basically a mud house of the sorts. He knew my insecurities and fears, and right before the exam, he saw how exhausted I was after a solid week of studying as hard as I could."
I fought not to tear up, but the more I thought about it, the easier it was for my tears to pool in my purple eyes.
"When someone sees you at your most vulnerable...aren't they supposed to show even a pinch of pity? I'd say empathy, but that word is on another scale, it seems, for someone like Xavier. He could barely say a compliment in my direction, but he had no problem with degrading comments and pointing out my flaws. Yet, I didn’t want to bring him down. I wanted to prove I was worthy of his time and to walk by his side. For what? At the end of the day, he stood there and watched his people, individuals who look to him for guidance on their behavior, mock me. He approved of their trickery, knowing it would lead to both of us failing. I should hate him."
"You don't, do you?"
"No." I shook my head. "I pity someone like that."
"Why?"
"Because they are those individuals that will never realize something valuable until its gone." I grinned, letting my tears fall as I looked up at Rain. "I feel like a piece of coal, hidden i
n the depths of a dark cave, in a land I know nothing of, but what if there's a small, tiny chance, within those black surroundings, there's a small jewel that's worth millions? A spark that people would treasure if it was in their possession. I wish to be that very coal. One that hides the true gem that will shine amongst the darkness and shine brightly. It's a big dream to have, but it's one I envision when the nightmares leave me in shambles at night."
"You can be more than just a shining star, Rosadette." The pain in Rain's voice made more tears fall.
"You just met me, and yet you can talk as if you've known me for centuries."
"I've just met you, but I'm fond of your bravery." He picked up my hand, lifting it until his lips pressed against the back of it. Those lips, so warm and tender, had me shivering as my eyes closed slightly at the connection.
"You could have stayed down when your people yelled for you to crumble. You could have chilled here, sulking underneath your blanket fort and staying here until you were sent back home. You could have let their words push you to a dark place, somewhere you may not have come out from. Yet, you didn't. Or should I say your spirit wouldn't let you."
"My spirit?"
"The driving force inside of each individual. Regardless of being fae or human, we all have spirit. It’s like our soul, but it’s the energy within us that projects our true desires in life. When you dream or see yourself as a person with no boundaries, that's usually your spirit which portrays the highest you that sometimes you yourself haven't acknowledged or proclaimed."
"The spirit," I repeated. "One you haven't acknowledged or proclaimed."
"There's a lot to the fae world that you'll discover, Rosadette. Hiding here won't aid you in discovery."
"Okay," I whispered, and looked at the bag of clothes I'd put next to the scale. "We still have time, right?"
"If we don't, I'd simply make more." He winked and let go of my hand. "Take all the time you need. I'll work on the fort."
He closed the door before I could argue, leaving that department closed for discussion. Seeing as he didn't mind my atrocious smell, I'm sure a few uncleaned plates and stacks of coffee mugs wouldn't bother him.
Fae Rose Academy: Year One (For The Purely Divine Book 1) Page 15