"I lost interest in her." He lifted his head to look at me. "It wasn’t necessarily intentional. In the beginning, anyways. It's just..." He took a deep breath and sighed, his eyes closing while he bit his bottom lip. "Think about fate. If fate decided that both of you were compatible, you wouldn't really question it, right?"
"Well, if I haven't met the person yet and was told, sure," I voiced.
"Exactly." He opened his eyes again, meeting my curious gaze. "When fate came knocking on my door, I thought Esmeralda and I would hit it off really well. I'd craved a companion and, well, I couldn't be happier to be chosen to finally experience love. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but when we started dating, it didn't take long for me to realize how polar opposite we were. I was younger then, and I think because of my struggle to obtain her love, it was so easy to let go of it."
"Do you regret it?" I inquired. "Do you look back or see her now and think you could have made it work?"
"If I was wiser and took in that no one is perfectly compatible with one another, I would have made things work. However, do I regret it? No."
"Why?"
"I couldn't trust her." He shrugged and let go of my hand, laying back so he could stare up at the ceiling. I followed, and out of habit moved closer to him until I was snuggled right next to him.
His arm made its way around my shoulders, bringing me even closer as we stared up in silence.
"Relationships require trust, and that was the one thing I couldn't do. Fae hold so many secrets in this world, and this academy is simply one aspect of our huge world. I couldn't introduce her to my family without feeling a sense of fear swarm over me. Like a body of water, desperate to suffocate me in its depths. It felt stupid to feel that way. To date a woman that you know fate set you up with, and fear to give her what she deserves to know as your girlfriend."
"Were you afraid of being vulnerable?"
"Maybe?" He sounded unsure. "A part of me is fine with vulnerability. To many male fae, it's a sign of weakness, and that’s why they only show such sides to those who they can wholeheartedly trust. It's like the headmaster. He was clearly displeased with the treatment you received, but if he harbored favoritism towards you in any way, he'd be deemed as weak by his own people."
"I don't think that's right," I mumbled. "But I wasn't raised in such ways either."
"It's good you weren't," he noted. "I think that's why the queen adores you. You're a unique individual with a completely different perspective. We need that. Not just at school. We need our people to start thinking outside of the box of rules and stereotypes they place on both fae and those outside of our race. It's not something that can be easily changed with a snap of one's fingers, but a long-term change."
"So that was why you broke up with her?"
"That's not necessarily how it works," he mumbled. "When fate decides to give you a chance at love, there's a time limit. Think of it as an hourglass that is filled with sand. When the last drops of sand hit the bottom chamber, time is up."
"What happens when you run out of time?"
"Hmm." He grew silent. I was going to tell him not to say if he'd get in trouble, but he whispered, "The rose of that woman's heart wilts away, and it's then her choice to decide on who will be worthy of the opportunity to prove their love to her again."
"The rose wilts? You make it sound as though an actual rose shows up and wilts away when the love dies," I remarked.
"Well, in the world of magic, anything is possible," he stated before chuckling.
"So you're saying if Esmeralda's rose wilted away, and she wanted Xavier to have a chance with her, it would happen?"
"Not necessarily," he answered. "If Xavier already has a love interest, it's not possible. That love interest has to wilt away or she wouldn't get the opportunity for her rose to be presented."
"This sounds like a fairy tale…like Cinderella."
"Cinderella was a light fae," he noted.
"What?" I turned over to my side, still snuggled against him as I lifted my head to give him an intrigued look. "You're lying!"
"Nope." He grinned as he looked down at me with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "She was a light fae while her sisters and stepmother were shadow fae. The prince who was a shadow fae had prayed to meet someone that would light up his world, and his parents decided a ball would be in order for him to get the opportunity to find love. They all wore masks, so he'd only be drawn to the magical auras instead of beauty. He didn't care about power, but rather of the purity of the magic. Regardless of light or darkness, pure intentions are something that will always burn brightly in someone's aura. He met Cinderella and knew she would be the one that would love him and his kingdom unconditionally just by how wondrous and pure her aura was. She ran when the clock struck twelve, needing to be home before her glamour faded away. She didn't leave behind a shoe. Her rose appeared in the depths of his castle and he made it his mission to search the lands to find her. He arrived at the step mother's home, and to test the match, she asked them to create a rose in a color that represents love."
"A color that represents love?" I whispered, completely intrigued by the new story.
"When a male is blessed with a rose, it will sparkle and glow in a certain way. Some can be red, others can be gold or purple. The color is unique to the individual, and no one but those that are connected can figure it out. The prince was disappointed when the stepdaughters made red roses and was about to leave when Cinderella raced out of the home to meet him. With one look he knew it was her, even though she'd worn a mask, but he asked her to present him with a rose of love. Without hesitation, she called to her magic and there bloomed a sparkling blue rose with silver glitter. It was the exact same one that the prince had been secretly carrying the whole time. He pulled it out and they matched. That was how he found her. Then they got married."
"Wow." I was moved by the unique storytelling. "That's completely different from the human tale."
"For good reason," Rain noted. "These roses are special and are kept in protective cases or glass containers to maintain their beauty and glow. Think of it as their heart. If you don't take care of it, the rose will wilt and die. You don't want that getting into the wrong hands. Roses hold extreme power, and not in just the land of the fae. The heart of a woman's love can either build a kingdom up or burn it to the ground. If humans got a hold of that, who knows what they would do with it?"
"So...does the king have a rose for the queen?" I quietly asked.
"Yup, and he protects it like it’s gold. If the queen is happy and content, the kingdom grows and rejoices. You can see when she laughs, how the flowers blossom and dance with her. When she's angry, the world grows hotter than usual, or if she's sad, it rains nonstop. We basically know when the queen's emotions are all over the place because it impacts this kingdom. That's why it’s the king's responsibility to ensure that the queen is happy. It's also the reason why the queen has to be able to protect herself. She's basically the main unit of the kingdom. If she falls, the kingdom will fall, unless the king marries another."
"Wow. That wasn't in any books."
"I'm technically not supposed to tell you." He grinned and kissed my nose when I gave him a shocked look.
"Oops?"
"I trust you," he whispered, and turned to his side as our eyes locked onto one another. "You're the first in a while that I've been willing to trust, but...I can't share everything. Not now."
"You don't have to," I reasoned. "I don't want you feeling pressured to do so."
"I'm not," he assured me. "But I want to eventually tell you. I just have to see how this year goes, that's all."
"Okay." I grinned. "I'll work hard!"
"It’s not about your strength, silly." He pecked a kiss to my lips. "You're brilliantly smart, talented, and going to do just fine this year."
"Then, why do you have to see how the rest of the school year goes?"
We'd already completed half, what was the difference with four more months?<
br />
"My biggest concern is your partner."
"Xavier?" I gave him a confused look. "What does he have to do with us?"
"He may think you're worthy now."
"Why?" I actually laughed. "Just because of a few magic spells that defended everyone, I'm suddenly worthy to him?"
"You got his attention and got a bunch of students to bow down to you."
"Still doesn't seem enough to suddenly make him interested."
"Are you interested in him?"
"No." My voice went cold. "I was a piece of garbage to him. Now I'm worthy? He never checked up on me after that incident. Even when he was supposed to, he felt showing Esmeralda around was far more important. I don't want to love someone like that. He doesn't deserve me."
"What if he's of light?"
"What do light and darkness have to do with it?" I questioned back. "I'm of light and Camilla is of darkness. We're best friends because we respect one another and are there for each other when we need to be. Even if Camilla was sent to protect me or whatever, she didn't need to be friends with me. The same applies to this. Regardless of whether Xavier is good or evil, he thought of me as nothing. He had no hope in my growth, and even if he did in some hidden way, he made no effort of showing it. That's more than enough to prove his intentions in regard to my worth."
The whole idea was making me angry, and I knew tomorrow would be a pain in the butt when we'd have to start working together.
"So no matter of light or darkness, he can't have me."
"What if he gets jealous?"
"About?"
"Us."
"Are you going to tell everyone we're dating?"
"I think it's a little obvious." He smirked when I blushed, remembering how friendly I'd been with him after the attack was over.
"I was being friendly."
"While we held hands." He winked and kissed my forehead. "It's up to you if you want us to be open about us courting."
"Dating."
"Same thing." He rolled his eyes, which made me giggle and eased the anger rumbling inside of me.
"He can be jealous all he wants. He had a chance with me and blew it," I reasoned. "Plus, he hated me at my lowest. No point in trying to redeem himself when I reach my highest. Doesn't matter if he's a prince or whatever."
"You have a point," Rain whispered, and wrapped an arm around my waist. He pulled me against his chest. The action made me blush a little harder as his hand moved down to my butt.
"Rain?"
"He can't have you," he quietly whispered, the words sounding like a quiet vow to the universe. "Not now, and not when he sees just how purely divine you are."
"Purely divine," I whispered.
That same term. What does that truly mean? Is there a hidden meaning to it?
"Can I stay here a little longer?" he whispered into my ear.
"Sure," I replied, feeling rather comfortable against his chest. The fact that he always asked each time when it came to spending the night or moment in the same bed made my heart swell with love for him.
He respected me, which in this world seemed to be a blessing in disguise.
"Rain?"
"Hmm?"
"Am I missing out on something?" I inquired. It was just a feeling, but I felt as though I was only seeing one part of the hidden masterpiece of this world.
"In time, Rosadette," he whispered back, sounding as if he was dozing off. "In due to time...it'll make sense."
My mind buzzed around his response, but I decided not to ask more about it as his breathing slowed.
Closing my eyes, I pondered about a lot of things, but Xavier's hateful eyes that day on the platform was something I could never forget.
Xavier will never have me.
Tense Partnership And Immune To Death
"Is this training really necessary?" I huffed, feeling exhausted after trying to do this silly spell for a good hour. Today had already been draining, as we had studied bits of dark magic used to protect us from lethal situations.
Which included a death chant that marks your body and kills you from the inside out. A delightful way to die...not.
"Yes, because you can't do the spell."
"You want me to be an Esmeralda and command rosebud vines from the ground as if this is going to be on an exam," I complained.
"You never know!"
I lowered my heavy arms while I glared at Xavier, who was staring back at me with his usual impatient stare.
The last month of school had been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing with how much knowledge I was gaining about our kind and even myself as each class taught me something uniquely new and left me craving even more knowledge.
A curse because of these afterschool training sessions with Xavier, which had been nothing but a pain in the ass.
I was struggling to maintain best friend time with Camilla and boyfriend time with Rain because of these rather unnecessary sessions that had become a five-days-a-week type of thing.
I knew that Xavier would be a pain as a partner, especially after I clearly proved him wrong, but all this pointless spell work after class was beginning to take a toll on me.
From what we've been learning in Fae Introduction, it wasn't advised for fae to use magic constantly. Daily at small doses would help with endurance, growth, and familiarity, but using constant flows of magic without purpose was frowned upon.
Training was a purpose, and our magic was like an entity of its own, having the ability to sense if its usage was worth value. If it wasn't for personal growth, training, or protection, all it did was poop you right out.
We were less than three months away from our exam, and apparently, it would be taking place in some forest where we'd have to experience what it's like to be a fae apart from our divine society.
What that meant was beyond me, and Camilla was unsure about it as well. She explained that she was struggling a little bit with the curriculum due to not being raised in the fae realms for her teen years.
She'd missed out on a lot of things she should have already known about, and thus, she was just as clueless as I was. I knew her sharing the truth was not intended to make me feel bad, but realistically, I felt horrible.
It was due to her coming down to protect me and remaining friends with me that she now struggled to fit into whatever equation the shadow fae wanted her to be in, and that was solely my fault.
She kept brushing it off, and I was glad it didn't put a fence between our friendship, but now she was playing catch-up with her partner, who was also a douche.
At least we have another thing in common. We can both complain about what a living hell our partners are and how to get away with murder.
There was just so much to discover in this world, and I felt as though we'd merely grazed the surface. Because of all the studying I'd done prior to this semester, I wasn't behind on what we were being taught.
If all this training was for my personal benefit, maybe it wouldn't feel like such a burden. Xavier was just testing me with all these spells that weren’t even going to be taught this semester, which was really getting annoying.
"This is pointless," I declared. "You of all people know that using magic unnecessarily is a waste of time. Nor is it good for me!" I pointed at him. "The last month has been constant 'do this, do that' while you stand there and scream at me. You make it seem like we're training to go to war, when we're just students. The main point is that I'm doing everything. You want me to be all strong and ready for whenever your mother, the queen, tests us again, but who in the fae heavens said it would be her?! Also, why is it that I'm doing spell work when I was able to take down those shadow people just fine?"
"You shouldn't have been able to do that, to begin with," he huffed. "My mom just made it easier for you."
"Oh please," I brushed off his insecure response. "You know we weren't the only people who took out those shadow spell individuals, and from the gossip, you were simply commanding people around."
&n
bsp; "You shouldn't even be speaking back to me," he growled. "Shut up already and get back to working on the spell."
"I'm not your maid," I snarled and crossed my arms over my chest. "We're partners. You're not my superior and I will speak back to you whenever I desire."
"You little-"
"I'm going home." I was done with this nonsense.
"We're not done."
"I do not care. I'm utterly exhausted. We've stayed an extra hour, meaning I wasted two hours after class for you to scream and shout at me for not being an Esmeralda, and this magic is not at the level of which I should be using it."
"You don't even know that," he argued.
"It's for year twos and threes," I barked back at him, noticing the hint of surprise in his eyes before they coldly narrowed at me.
"If you know it, why can't you do it?!"
"I'm tired!" I raised my voice. "What the hell is your problem today?!"
"What's with all the yelling?"
We both looked at the door to see Prince Rainer. I swear if I wasn't so upset, I would have sighed in relief at his arrival. He frowned at my expression, his eyes moving to the culprit of my obvious anger.
"Xavier." That's all he needed to say for Xavier to roll his eyes and state, "We're training. Don't need you interfering."
"We're done," I grumbled, walking over to the side of the training room to grab my bag.
"We're not done, Rosadette."
"We. Are. Done," I articulated, not even bothering to put my bag over my shoulder as I dragged it to the door. I wasn't even in the mood to hug Rainer right now, my body aching and my head pounding due to my boiling rage.
"Rosade-"
I opened the door and walked forward, only for someone to crash right into me.
"Oof!" I hit the ground hard. A steaming hot hand that held my wrist had my eyes snapping open just as I kicked the person right off of me.
"Ah!" The high-pitched scream was followed by an oomph, and I sat up to see Ella was on the ground groaning while Bella, Monica, and Emily were staring down at her with nervous expressions.
I'd about had it with today, but the burning stinging on my wrist was irritating me. I glanced down at it, noticing the woven black spell that was trying to burn my flesh.
Fae Rose Academy: Year One (For The Purely Divine Book 1) Page 22