by Ali Vali
From that day she couldn’t bring herself to forgive her daughter the mistake Cain had been. To see the proof of that mistake in her house was more than she should have to endure.
*
Hayden detoured into the living room after he bounced off the last step, wanting to see who had driven up. Peering out the window he could see he was mistaken; actually someone was pulling away from the bunkhouse. It struck him as odd that anyone living in the area would be driving a dark sedan instead of a truck or SUV.
“Problem?” Emma asked, studying Hayden’s back as he looked out the window. She was wiping flour off her hands, wondering what he found so fascinating in a place where almost nothing ever happened. As a child she’d never wasted time gazing out windows to the empty fields beyond. She spent her time reading and expanding her horizons through books like Little Women and The Secret Garden.
Her life in Haywood tempered the different lessons in those pages, and her mother had filled in the gaps of what was right and wrong, and good and evil. Though Cain had added to Emma’s experiences, her moniker of Hayseed was never too far off.
“Are we expecting company?” Hayden didn’t really need an answer as he watched the car drive to the gate and take a left onto the road. He was more interested in what Emma’s response would be.
“Not that I’m aware of. Why, is someone out there?”
“Not anymore.” He turned away from the window and went to sit at the kitchen table with Mook.
Behind him Emma glanced out the window to try and see what Hayden was talking about. The only thing moving in the yard was her father on his tractor, hauling a load of feed to the fence line.
She washed the breakfast dishes and put them away. A couple of hours later she stepped out on the porch to search for Hayden and found him reading a book, while Mook kept an eye on the road as if he were expecting someone.
“Would you like to go for a walk?” asked Emma.
Hayden put his book down and shrugged. “Sure, there’s some stuff I’d like to ask you.”
“That’d be great. What would you like to talk about?”
Mook put his sunglasses on and followed far enough behind to ensure their conversation would be private as long as they didn’t start screaming at each other. The three followed the dirt road Hayden had jogged on that morning.
Emma put her hands in the pockets of her coat to keep them warm and waited to hear what Hayden had on his mind. The crunch of dead leaves under their feet sounded almost magnified as they walked up the path behind the house. It led to an open field Ross used to grow hay for his animals in the summer. Now the ground was frozen and covered in leaves from the nearby woods.
“Why did you leave us?”
Emma hadn’t expected the question, even though she’d listened in on his conversation with Cain the night before. She would have thought Cain had settled this issue long ago in her blunt, forthright manner. “I’m sure Cain told you the answer to that already, Hayden, so are you just testing me?”
Hayden sighed in frustration. Emma was going to give him the same runaround Cain always did on the subject. “Unlike you, I don’t ask questions just to make conversation. I want to know. Did Mom hurt you or something? Is that it? Because she won’t tell me.”
“Really? And please don’t ever think that about Cain. I don’t like what she does, but she never hurt me.” She waved her hands to emphasize the denial.
It surprised him, though, how quickly Emma had come to his mother’s defense. “Cain thought it best for you to answer that question, not her.”
“The Cain I knew would’ve answered something so simple easily enough, so it just surprises me she didn’t.”
“Maybe that’s what your problem is—you don’t know my mother at all. Maybe you never did.”
Emma stuffed her hands into her coat again and looked back at the big blond trailing them. Mook was far enough away so he couldn’t hear what she had to say and report it back to Cain. “I’m not stupid enough to think Cain has sheltered you from what the Casey family does for a living. I just hope you know it doesn’t have to be your destiny.”
“I didn’t ask what you thought about my mother. I asked why you left us.”
Emma sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to let it go. As much as she didn’t want to, she was going to have to answer him. Her memories of that day, every grotesque moment of it, were still a raw spot in her soul. She still grappled with the consequences when the events played in her mind.
Chapter Seven
Four Years Earlier at the Casey Residence
“Mrs. Casey?” Carmen the housekeeper stood in the doorway of the sunroom waiting to be acknowledged. She had seen Emma make her way into the house and away from the mob in the yard.
Emma’s attention jumped from the cake table to the door. Carmen was, as always, quiet as a cat. “Please, Carmen, I’ve been here long enough for you to start calling me Emma. We certainly spend enough time together.”
“And as enjoyable as it is, your name to me is Mrs. Casey,” she said with a smile. “I need the key to the cellar, ma’am. We’ve gone through more liquor than we put out, and there’s a couple of hours to go yet.”
The basement, a rarity in New Orleans, was filled with cases of the best brands on the market, and in this case all of them legal. Cain was a gambler by nature when it came to business, but in her home everything was legitimate.
The key Carmen needed was in the top drawer of Cain’s desk, which was why she’d gone in search of Emma. She enjoyed a high level of Cain’s trust, but no way would she chance the mobster coming inside and finding her anywhere near her private office.
“Don’t go jinxing us, Carmen. We’ve gone all afternoon with the whole of Cain’s family having a good time, and there hasn’t been one fistfight yet.”
Emma’s teasing made Carmen laugh as she accepted the key and headed off to replenish the bar.
Two of the guys who worked at the pub were waiting to do the heavy lifting, leaving Emma to her moment of peace once more. Outside, Cain was holding up a plate to the maid cutting the large lemon cake, their son waiting with a fork in his hand. She was about to sit in the sunroom and close her eyes a minute when she felt the hard body press against her back and a large hand clamp over her mouth. Even with all the people in attendance and the room’s great view of the yard, not one person noticed when the man pulled her away and dragged her to a guest room near Cain’s office.
When the door closed she heard his breathing and felt sick to her stomach when he pressed his crotch into her bottom.
“You believe in God, Emma?”
His speech sounded slurred, which she attributed to the liquor that had flowed so freely all afternoon.
“Do you know how God punishes the perverts of this world for being perverts?”
“Please don’t do this.”
He only pressed harder into her and laughed. “I asked you a question.” He moved his hand from her throat and squeezed one of her breasts to the point of pain. “So answer me.”
“My mother certainly thinks so, but God won’t punish you near as much as Cain will if you do this.”
“My cousin Cain plays at being a man, but she doesn’t have what it takes.” His hand moved lower to her abdomen, and Emma fought the urge to vomit. “She’s led a charmed life, though, and I’m thinking I want a taste of the sweetest charm she has.”
He pushed her so hard she landed in the middle of the bed, and before she could move he was on top of her, pressing her face into the mattress, yanking up her skirt. Her thoughts flew to Cain and how badly she needed her. Her tears began when she heard his zipper and his sickly laugh.
Outside, Cain looked around for the third time, not seeing Emma in the crowd, so she patted Hayden on the shoulder and pointed to Mook. Merrick and Lou broke away from the festivities when they saw her head into the house. The same laugh that was terrifying Emma zeroed Cain in on the closed door.
Once inside, Cain and her guards reali
zed immediately what was happening when Danny turned and they saw the evidence of his intentions in his hand. In two strides Cain reached the bed and jerked him back into Lou, who dragged the idiot out of the room before Emma could straighten her skirt and sit up.
“It’s all right, love.” Cain’s voice sounded soothing, but Emma could feel the tension building in the lanky frame. “I’m sorry for not getting here sooner, but it’s all right now.”
“He tried to…” She couldn’t finish.
“I know, sweetling, but you’re safe now.” Cain pressed her palm to her lover’s cheek and offered the only comfort she could at the moment. “And I promise you this won’t ever happen again. No one comes into our home and touches what’s mine. No one.”
She pulled Emma closer and looked at Merrick over the blond head. “Clear the grounds and bring Hayden upstairs to our room. I want him to sit with his mother while I take care of this. And make sure Carmen sees to Marie.”
Merrick left without a word, and Lou and his charge disappeared into the cellar. With no windows and cinder-block walls, the space made a wonderful wine cellar, but in this instance it would serve as a great place to swallow all of the screams that would issue from it.
“Cain, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” They had started toward the stairs and Cain stopped, confused by the request.
“He just scared me, and I know you don’t think so, but he doesn’t deserve what you have in mind.”
Cain took a deep breath in an effort to control her rage, not wanting to scare Emma anymore, but she couldn’t resist picking up an expensive vase and flinging it at the wall. “This can’t go unanswered, love, you know that. What he did—”
“He did to me,” said Emma. “So I’m asking you to let him live. I won’t have his death on my conscience for a ‘what if.’ God is forgiving, but not that forgiving.” A bit of her mother seeped into her speech, but she really didn’t believe in taking someone’s life. And from what she was seeing in Cain’s eyes, that was exactly what was going to happen to Danny if she didn’t do anything to stop it. “Promise me on what we have together you’ll respect my wishes. I want your word.”
“Why? After what he did today, why?”
She gazed up at Cain, trying to find the right words. “Because this time it happened to me, and I don’t believe this behavior warrants such a rash act. That’s the best way I can explain how I feel about it.”
Emma’s reasoning wasn’t good enough, and the logical part of Cain’s brain told her to send her upstairs with their son and be done with what had to happen. The guy had crossed an unforgivable line, and the price was his life. Cain knew that, but the trust in Emma’s eyes made her turn away from logic and tell her what she wanted to hear. No matter the cost, Cain didn’t want to destroy how Emma felt about her so she answered with her heart. “I give you my word.”
“Thank you.”
Hours passed after the brief conversation, and when Hayden had fallen asleep, Emma went in search of her partner. The house was quiet and the sun had just set, so it was easy to hear the squeak of the cellar door as it opened.
“Get rid of him.”
Cain’s voice and her words made Emma grab the banister to keep her feet. When she turned the corner, she stopped. She felt sick when she saw the blood splattered across Cain’s shirt and pants, and her crimson hands. “You promised me. I thought your word meant something to you.”
In their time together she had never thought of Cain as a liar, but before her stood not only a liar, but also a vicious killer. A killer covered in the evidence of her crime, who had committed the act with her wife and son in the house.
“I promised you, and I kept my word.” The blue eyes never wavered, and she delivered the words calmly.
All her mother’s warnings crashed down on her. She sank into the nearest chair, disgusted with her own naiveté. She had wanted to believe so badly in Cain that she had refused to see what was right in front of her. How much more plainly could Cain show her the depth of her deceptions? This time she was covered in the truth of what she was and what she was capable of. Emma felt her heart turn cold at the fact that she was sharing her life, her bed, and her soul with a killer. To make it worse, she had given this devil a child to perpetuate what the Casey family stood for.
She loved Cain, but she couldn’t ignore this evil woman who stood there and blatantly lied to her. Despite their love, she had time to salvage as much of her family as she could. She refused to become as guilty as Cain. She refused to teach Hayden that murder, revenge, and dishonesty were codes to center his life around.
“I said I kept my word,” repeated Cain.
“Thank you.” Those two empty words were all Emma could think to add.
“At a birthday party for your aunt Marie that Cain and I hosted, one of the guests got drunk and tried something he should’ve known better about, considering who I was and who I lived with. But I guess he thought Cain would tolerate it since the Irish whiskey was flowing as well as the ale, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. You were about to turn seven, and I remember looking out into the yard and seeing Cain help you get a piece of cake.”
Emma took her gloved hands out of her pockets and brought them up to hug herself from the sudden chill the memories had brought on. She realized her voice sounded detached and devoid of emotion, which was a lie. With every detail she retold, she relived the anguish.
“I don’t think anyone noticed when this guy dragged me into one of the bedrooms. Just when I thought something horrible was going to happen to me, somebody jerked the guy’s body off me. One second I was in terror, and the next I was in the arms of someone I knew would keep me safe.”
“Cain?” Hayden looked at her for the first time since they’d left the house.
“Yes, it was Cain. I don’t know how she knew, but she saved me.”
“So as her reward, you left her?”
His voice sounded so incredulous his mother almost laughed. Her son wasn’t yet twelve, but he already thought like the heir to the Casey name. Every sacrifice she’d made to get Hayden back was in vain. Cain was too ingrained where it mattered most—his heart.
“I didn’t leave because of that, Hayden. After she calmed me down and let someone take me upstairs with you, she cleared the grounds. I waited up because I was so worried about her, and because I wanted her to hold me and make the humiliation go away. After what seemed an eternity, I went downstairs to look for her. The man was gone, but Cain hadn’t cleaned up yet.
“I saw her hands. Her hands and her clothes are etched into my brain, and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t live like that any more. There was so much blood. She was covered in it, so much so that it felt like it would taint all of us like a flood. The sight of it made me sick.
“I didn’t want to be responsible for getting someone hurt, or worse, just because I shared a bed with the head of the Casey family. I’m sorry if that’s hard for you to hear, but it’s the truth.”
She put her hand on Hayden’s arm to get him to stop walking. When he paused, she thought she had gotten through to him and he’d understood her position.
“Mom protected you, and you left because of it?”
Hearing it put like that, her actions didn’t make much sense to her either. “I’m not one of my father’s cows, Hayden. I don’t belong to Cain like some piece of furniture. As much as I respect her sense of family and honor, this isn’t feudal Japan where I’m expected to walk four steps behind her. I was her wife, and I wanted to have some say in what happened in my life and the lives of my children.
“But she told me she didn’t kill the guy like she wanted to because I asked for his life. I thought it was a job for the police—not Cain’s hands or the muzzle of her gun. Do you understand all of Cain? What she’s capable of, under the right circumstances?”
“I understand better than you. But you left one more person out there just waiting to hurt her or me. All because you were weak. Did you thin
k of that when you were being so charitable? Sure, you did what you thought was right. But I can’t respect you for it. You and your clear conscience. Too bad you didn’t care as much about Mom and me. Why didn’t you ever stop to think about me?” The anger that had been bottled up for four years came pouring out until Hayden was screaming at her.
Hayden’s words hit her like physical blows, so she moved a little away from him, and her eyes filled with tears again. “Listen to you. No eleven-year-old should have to think that. This doesn’t have to be your life, son. I more than care about you, I love you. It killed a big part of me to walk away. You, Cain, and Marie were my family. You’re still a part of my family, and I want you to know you have options other than Cain.” When Hayden didn’t object she moved back close enough to put her hand on the sleeve of his coat.
“What, I could come live here and learn to milk cows? Better yet, I could spend the rest of my life trying to get Grandmother Carol to not look at me like she hates everything about my family and me. No, thank you. You wanted me here so we could get to know each other. Well, you’re no one I want to waste my time getting to know better, lady.” He jerked his arm out of her grasp and walked farther away from her, wiping his eyes as he went.
Emma just watched him leave, not thinking of anything that would make him stop. The hope she had so fragilely pieced together when she left for New Orleans to see him again shattered with every step he took away from her. She was sure this defeat would hurt as much as giving up her life with Cain.
Hayden turned back toward the house, ignoring Mook as he passed. He wanted nothing more than to leave when Cain arrived. Coming here was a mistake, and Cain would have to respect his wishes about not caring to have a relationship with Emma. He had done his part. He had tried because of the precious memories he still clung to when he remembered his mother. This time around he would walk away, and she could spend the rest of her days reliving the pain of loss.