by Ali Vali
The door slammed shut as hard as Carol could muster, considering how little it was opened, leaving Emma alone with a now-angry Cain. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah, it was just a fluke, I’m sure. Nothing to worry about, and since I offered your father my help putting all that feed away, I guess I don’t have a choice but to feel better.” Cain pointed to the large pile of bags.
“He likes you, I can tell. My father, I mean.”
“It’s nice to know someone in the Verde family does.”
“That’s not fair, Cain.” Emma stepped closer so Cain could hear her over the truck.
“I’m an expert on knowing life isn’t fair and on how people feel about me. You didn’t just leave Hayden, Emma. You left me with some shallow reason as to why, and you never looked back.”
“Hayden said the same thing to me, and like you, he isn’t going to forgive me either, is he?”
“Why would you care if I forgive you? Worry about your relationship with your son and if you’re going to have one at all. You killed whatever feelings I had for you with the closing of our front door just as effectively as if you’d used one of the guns you always hated being around. Forgive you? I don’t mention your name or even think about you except for the benefit of my son.”
“Cain, are you ready?” Ross called out across the yard.
“Cain, please, I want to finish,” said Emma.
“We’re not done. Don’t worry. Just not now and not here.”
Cain and Hayden helped stack bags of feed until Ross’s storeroom was filled. The sun was starting to set by the time they were done, and despite the cold, they had all worked up a thin coat of sweat before they brought in the last bag. Ross shook hands with Cain before walking back to the house to get cleaned up for dinner.
“Mom, are you sure you’re all right from this afternoon?” Hayden leaned on one of the stall dividers and studied his mother’s face closely for any residual illness.
“There’s nothing wrong, kiddo. To tell you the truth, it was a temporary thing, kinda like getting kicked in the gut. You know what I mean?”
Hayden sat on a bale of hay across from Cain and stayed silent. He had spent the afternoon listening to Emma talk about growing up on the farm and what a shock it had been to leave Wisconsin. The biggest surprise was that she had ended up with Cain after growing up in such a sheltered place. From her stories, he didn’t think she had in her to take such bold chances and go so against her upbringing.
When Emma spoke of going into the Erin Go Braugh and asking for a job, Hayden realized perhaps Cain wasn’t the only chance taker in the family. As they strolled through Ross’s pastures he found himself enjoying her stories, hearing about a side of Cain he knew nothing about. Emma spoke of her in a tone that had more than a trace of affection, which confused him. If Emma still loved Cain, why wasn’t she with them?
“Let’s go grab a shower and something to eat, then get you to bed, big guy,” said Hayden. “You aren’t as young as you used to be, so we have to watch out for you.”
Cain laughed and threw a wad of hay at him. “Wiseass, huh?”
“I’m your wiseass, though, and I’d like to think I learned all my wise ways from you. Even when I’m being an ass.”
With her chin on one of her fists, Cain looked at her son and sighed. So many things her father had said and taught her came back to mind when she had time to study her own child like this. “I wish you had gotten to meet my father, Hayden. He would’ve loved you, and my mother would have spoiled you until even I wouldn’t have known what to do with you.
“They had three children and they loved us, but I always suspected we were just the down payment on what they really wanted—grandchildren. Whenever I started seeing someone new, my mother used to remind me. ‘I want grandkids someday, lass,’ she’d say in that thick brogue. My dad would just laugh, but he told me one day he had practiced swing pushing until he wasn’t going to get any better without a live subject.”
Hayden moved and sat next to Cain. “As much as I’d have liked to meet them, I’d like to think I did get to know them through all the stories you’ve told me. You know what I figured out?”
“What’s that?”
“I listen to you talk about Grandpa Dalton, and it’s like hearing to a story about you. I look at all those pictures, and I imagine what I’m going to look like when I’m older. And Merrick told me you two had the same hands.” He put his smaller hand next to hers and smiled because the structure and shape were the same, no matter the size difference. “I want to grow up and have people look at me and say, ‘that’s Cain’s kid and he’s just like her.’”
Hayden could count on one hand all the times he’d seen his mother cry, but knew his words had reached deep when tears filled her eyes.
“You are my kid, and I love you, but you’re wrong. People are going to look at you and say we’re alike, but you’re better than I ever thought of being.”
“Thanks, Mom. You ready?” He hugged her and enjoyed the slight citrus smell that always clung to her.
“Hayden, I want you to do me a favor.”
“What?” The way she had asked made him think he wasn’t going to like her request.
“I want you to go up to the house and have dinner with your mother.”
“No. I spent all afternoon with her, and now I want to eat with you and the guys.” He moved a little away from her and crossed his arms over his chest as a way to say his decision was final.
“Son, it’s the last thing I’m going to ask of you while we’re here. After tonight, if you want to spend the next couple of days in the bunkhouse and not see anyone, then I’ll have to respect your decision.”
Not needing any other prodding from Cain, Hayden got up to go get ready for dinner.
He never saw Emma crying behind the first stall in the barn, deeply ashamed she had eavesdropped on their conversation. Listening to the mother and son had proved to her that Hayden had been raised by the same loving person who had stolen her heart so many years before.
For all of Cain’s faults her one best quality hadn’t changed. Even after Emma left, Cain was filled with love and devotion for her family. If Kyle succeeded now, Emma would never gain Hayden’s love or his respect, and he would gladly be sent away anywhere, as long as it meant not having to lay eyes on her again. She was sure now that he would want nothing else to do with her once he found out the extent of her involvement.
The Verde dinner table was again silent as the four people sat eating their meal. In the bunkhouse Cain started an indoor football game that ended up with the ball hitting the overhead light fixture, tilting the camera it hid. The agents in the back room of the barn could only stare in horror at the monitor, now showing the ceiling tiles, and wonder how they were going to get back in again to reset the angle.
“You guys watch it. With my luck I’ll have Carol down here suing me for damages.”
They heard Cain’s reprimand effectively stop the game.
“Why don’t you head into town and eat at the little diner Ross and I tried today, and let me lie down and wait for Hayden. I’m still not feeling well from my bout of barfing today.”
The agents cursed. If Cain wasn’t leaving too, they would be listening to nothing until the others got back, unless Cain was going to be talking in her sleep.
“Don’t forget to try the apple pie with homemade ice cream. It’s to die for. As a matter of fact, bring me back a piece, minus the cold stuff. It might make me feel better.”
Special Agent Rich, the senior agent working for Kyle, sat back in his chair eating an apple and pretending it was the pie Cain had talked about while he listened in case Casey decided to call someone after her henchmen left for dinner. The quiet filling the tape made him want to imitate the napping woman he was monitoring. Had he been paying attention, he would have seen the figure dressed in black crawl toward the nearest fence and head out to the dark pasture.
Chapter Fourteen
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nbsp; Cain slipped the night-vision glasses into place as soon as she cleared the fence and started out at a moderate pace. Since no one expected her arrival, she could take her time. Merrick had walked Hayden and Mook to the house for their dinner with the Verdes; they had instructions to stay there and not step into the bunkhouse until the rest of them got back from town. Cain was outside her final destination less than an hour later and just sat watching for dogs or other security measures.
The woman she had seen earlier stood at the kitchen window. From her movements, Cain guessed she was rinsing dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. She crept closer and, almost in the woman’s plain sight, she attached something to the window before she moved back. Sitting against the fence, she put the headphones on and turned up the volume.
“Jerry, will you pick up those toys all over the den? It’s been too cold to take Hannah outside, and we really made a mess.”
In addition to the woman, Cain could hear a child singing along with a video.
“Are you ready for your bath, Miss Hannah?”
“Yes, Aunt Maddie.”
“You’re such a good girl.”
Through the binoculars, Cain watched Maddie carry the little girl upstairs to the bathroom, then to the bedroom to get her ready for bed. She devoured the sight of the child with shiny black hair and a very familiar face. Hannah’s resemblance to Hayden made Cain ache. And it made her furious. Here, full of energy, was why Emma left. Only Cain viewed the little girl as what Emma had stolen from her.
“Aunt Maddie, where’s Mama?” Hannah put her arms up for her nightgown.
“She’ll be back for you in a couple of days. Do you miss your mama?”
“She said she’s gonna bring me a prize.”
Hannah held a teddy bear up to the side of her face and smiled, making Cain fall in love on the spot.
“I love prizes.”
“A surprise, huh? Well, I’m sure it’s going to be great. Get in here, baby.” Maddie pulled back the blankets on the bed and tucked the little girl in. “You go to sleep, and I’m sure your mama’s going to come and see you real soon.”
“You promise, Aunt Maddie?”
“I promise, baby girl. Your mama’s got something to do, and as soon as she’s done she’ll be coming by to pick you up. Until then you, me, and your uncle Jerry are going to have the best time playing and watching videos.”
“Mama said she was going to see my brother Haygen, but I hadda wait to see him. He lives with my mama Cain far away. Why do you think she doesn’t want me to live with her too like Haygen does?”
“You’re going to have to ask your mama that one, sweetie. I never met Cain, but I’m guessing she loves you a whole world full, and one day maybe she’ll get to show you. Does your mama tell you a lot about Hayden and Mama Cain?”
“Yes. She told me ’cause they’re my family, and Mama said dat’s important.”
“It is, but getting some sleep is important too, so close your eyes and get ready to meet the sandman.”
Cain listened with big tears running down her face when the little charmer said her prayers after the woman left. “God bless my mama, Grandpa Ross, my big brother Haygen, and my mama Cain. Amen.”
Maddie stared out into the night from the kitchen window as she finished the dishes, obviously not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Emma, I hope to hell you know what you’re doing.” The good friend was one of the only people in town who knew the whole story, and the one who had helped Emma through the pregnancy and birth.
Cain gave her no answer as she ran back into the night. She had one more thing to do before retreating to her bed. After carefully climbing up to the roof of the barn, she attached some listening devices so she could monitor the hunters who were stalking her. She knew if anyone caught her up there, she would blow any chance to pull off her plan for Kyle, but she hadn’t built her life on playing it safe. She crouched as she watched Merrick and the guys pull in from dinner, and timed her jump from the roof with the closing of car doors, then slipped back to the window she had left from.
Cain was lying down with her eyes closed, her breath slow and deep, when she heard the group walk in with Hayden. She listened to them get ready for bed, trying not to make too much noise. Then, when the last of the lights clicked off, she sat up and swung her legs off the small twin bed. Her every instinct told her to go up to the house and drag Emma to the next farm and force her to confess to Hannah’s existence.
In bare feet and no coat, she stalked outside and reached the halfway point between the two structures before she stopped herself from taking another step. She was so angry she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to still her emotions. Her fury prevented her from feeling the cold or seeing the woman staring down at her.
From her window, the woman who was the center of Cain’s storm felt a finger of fear drag slowly up her spine. Emma felt completely different than the first time she had looked out and spotted Cain outside her bedroom window.
Thirteen Years Earlier at Emma’s Apartment
Emma leaned against her apartment door, listening to the receding footsteps on the other side. It had been an electric year, enjoying life on Cain’s arm. She was about as far from her father’s dairy farm as she could imagine herself. She had kept her job at the pub and her modest apartment because she didn’t want to ever be thought of as a kept woman.
When she could no longer hear anything out in the hall, Emma moved to the window to watch Cain leave. Instead of getting into her car, she stood near the bottom of the window looking up, apparently knowing she wouldn’t have to wait too long to see Emma again. The well-known Casey smile was in place when she appeared in the window. Tonight that smile undid her. Tonight, she realized, Cain was going to claim something that belonged to her from the moment Emma had laid eyes on her.
“Do you have to be anywhere else right this minute?” she asked, leaning out the window.
“I’ll be wherever you want me to be.”
As an answer she dropped her shirt on Cain’s head and moved away from the window. She laughed when she heard the footsteps out in the hall again, only this time she heard more of a run.
Cain opened the door and found Emma standing there holding an arm over her chest, looking like she wasn’t so sure what to do next. In all their time together she had never teased Cain too much as she got more comfortable with taking their relationship to the next level. Some heavy-duty kissing and groping on her couch with Cain was about the extent of Emma’s experience, and Cain didn’t want to make a wrong move.
“I want you to stay.”
“Come here a minute, baby.” She opened her arms and waited for Emma to move. When her arms wrapped around naked skin she felt Emma relax. “Do you mind if we talk for a minute?”
“No.” Emma sounded so nervous Cain’s libido cooled.
“Let’s sit down.” In a chair with her limpet, she put her fingers under Emma’s chin so she could see her eyes. “You’re the woman I’m going to spend my life with, that’s how I feel about you. If you want the same thing, no one will ever share my bed or my life until it’s over.”
“Thank you for saying that, honey.”
“There’s a reason, and it isn’t what you think. Because I want to spend all my life with you, sweetling, I can be patient. When we make love, it’s going to be the right decision for both of us.”
“Don’t you want to?”
She smiled and placed her palm on Emma’s cheek. “More than anything, but I’m willing to wait. I love you, Emma, and because I do, it means I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Emma closed her eyes and leaned farther into Cain’s caress. “You do?”
“More than anyone or anything else.”
“Could you say it again?” Emma asked as she looked into the eyes she adored.
“I love you, Emma, so very much.”
“I love you too, and I want you to show me.” Emma leaned back a little and moved to straddle Cain’s lap.
Then she picked up a big hand and placed it over one of her breasts.
The move lit a flame in Cain that truly never went out. She got out of the chair and felt Emma’s legs tighten around her waist as they moved to the bedroom. To get Emma to feel even more at ease, she had her lover unbutton her own linen shirt and push it off her shoulders. They both moaned when skin met skin for the first time.
“Tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable, okay?” Cain’s words were some of the last they spoke.
Emma lifted her hips and helped remove her skirt. She was hungry for Cain to put her hands on her body and sate the need growing between her legs. They had touched her before to help her out of chairs, or to hold one of hers when they sat in a dark theater, and sometimes through her clothes when they shared some quiet time in her apartment, but tonight Cain’s hands felt hot.
Cain moved her hands constantly, never keeping them in any one place too long, which was driving Emma insane. As much as she wanted the hand to drift lower, any other need melted away when Cain lowered her head and sucked on her right nipple until it grew hard.
“Please don’t stop.” She clamped her hands around Cain’s head and held her in place. Touching herself had never brought this kind of intensity.
“Relax for me, honey.”
“Cain, relaxed is the last thing I’m feeling right now.” She really wanted to whack the side of Cain’s head when she heard the low chuckle, but doing so might pull the lips away from her body, and that just wouldn’t do. “Could you take your clothes off for me, honey? I want to feel you when you’re loving me.”
Hovering a little over her, Cain pulled her mouth away, which made her open her eyes.
“I love you.” After Cain made the declaration, which she had never made to anyone outside her family, she unbuckled her belt and shed the rest of her clothes. When Cain lay back down, Emma moaned as a trailing hand moved down to her most intimate place.