by Mary Carter
“What did Granny Dearest have to say about that little development?” Carla asked.
“I don’t think Yvette is worried about anything but Roger,” Faith said. “Dying has brought out a softer side of her.”
“I see she has you all fooled,” Carla said. “How can you forgive her for keeping him from us for all these years?”
“I think we’re all just worn down,” Faith said. “We’d rather just get along, enjoy the time we have.”
“Well, enjoy away,” Carla said. “I’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.”
“It’s five days until Christmas,” Faith said. “You’re staying.”
“I could be smoking a Cuban cigar right now,” Carla said.
“Why didn’t you go?” Joy asked.
“Fernando had a few complications with his identification,” Carla said.
“Just like you,” Joy said to Faith.
“Ha-ha,” Faith said.
“Fernando hasn’t posted on Facebook for a while,” Joy said. Faith and Hope looked at her. “Harrison got me hooked,” she added.
“He’s in jail,” Carla said. They stared at her. “If you haven’t bought my Christmas gift yet I’d appreciate if you’d donate to his bail fund.”
“You should start a Kickstarter,” Joy said.
“This family is so dysfunctional,” Hope said.
Faith shook her head. “My annual Christmas letter just keeps getting longer.”
“He’s innocent,” Carla said. “They’ve got him mixed up with his cousin who’s in a smuggling ring.”
“And better,” Faith said. “It just keeps getting better.”
“I mean it,” Carla said. “They could be twins.”
“I wish they gave prizes for the most dysfunctional family Christmas,” Joy said.
“Sadly we probably wouldn’t even be in the top ten,” Hope said.
“I’ve never loved anyone like I loved your father,” Carla said. “But I still have to spring Fernando from the pokey.”
Nothing says Merry Christmas like getting your mother’s boyfriend out of the pokey, Hope thought. Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Austin.
Would you like to come over for a nightcap?
Does Santa say ho, ho, ho?
Later, Faith and Joy would recall that Hope was off the sofa, into the mudroom, and out the door before they could even say, “And to all a good night.”
CHAPTER 39
Hope and Austin lay under the covers, holding each other and listening to the wind whistle outside. Just like everything else about his nature, being with him had been so easy and had felt so right. Fireworks, actually, and she was still a bit stunned. They just fit. In more ways than one. She protested when he got out of bed. “You stay,” he said. “I’m going to make us coffee and French toast.” She bit her tongue before she could ask him to marry her. A half an hour later they were eating breakfast in bed.
“I like your mother,” Austin said. Hope felt him for a fever. He laughed and gently knocked her hand away.
“I wish Roger felt the same,” Hope said.
“Do you think of him as your father or as Roger?” Austin asked.
“I guess I think of him as Roger,” Hope said. “But I also love him because part of my father still exists in him.”
“I get that,” Austin said. “You have to mourn the loss of the father you once knew.”
“I’ve spent my life doing that,” Hope said. “We all have.”
“Have you guys talked any more about what you’ll do when Yvette is gone?”
Hope shook her head. “We haven’t known her very long, but it’s already impossible to imagine being here without Yvette.”
“I know,” Austin said. “I feel the same.”
“I want to move into the house,” Hope said. “But we have to see if Joy and Harrison will go for the coffee truck. Faith isn’t sure what she wants either.”
“But you all want Roger to stay on the property,” Austin said.
“Yes, we all agree. And Yvette could surprise us all. Live another couple of years.”
“Are you going to move in either way?”
Hope smiled and rested her head on Austin’s shoulder. “Eager to be neighbors?” she teased.
“Yes,” he said, and kissed the top of her head. As imperfect as they all were, this was turning out to be the best Christmas she could ever imagine. She even had hope that Roger was going to come around. They were together. She smiled every time she imagined all of them gathered around the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve. Only three days away. The silver coffee truck was parked in Austin’s driveway. Yvette was more than willing to let them borrow against their future inheritance, and Faith had talked the seller down a thousand bucks. That was her bossy sister. Hope smiled. She couldn’t wait to surprise Joy and Harrison. She had almost fallen back to sleep when there came a furious pounding on the door.
Austin was out of bed first, and Hope scrambled to put her clothes on. By the time she got to the door, Josh was already inside.
“It’s Granny,” he said. “Come quick.”
* * *
She was in bed, and thrashing from a fever. Faith and Carla were tending to her with cold compresses. Her eyes were open, but it was as if she had no idea anyone was in the room with her. She wouldn’t make eye contact with any of them. “Thomas, Thomas, Thomas,” she repeated over and over. “My Thomas.”
“We need to give her the morphine,” Faith said.
“Thomas, Thomas, Thomas,” she said.
“Just start with the smallest dose,” Austin said. “I’ll call the doctor.”
Hope hurried out of the room. Roger needed to know what was happening. She had to believe that telling him was the right thing to do. She hurried out to the cabin. Mr. Jingles ran out of the barn, barking and running around her in circles. In the distance she spotted Roger, lumbering into the woods. She hurried after him with Mr. Jingles on her heels. She wondered if he knew she was following him for he seemed to pick up his pace. She just hoped he wasn’t going to go too far into the woods. The wind was picking up, and the cold was biting. “Roger,” she shouted. “Please. Wait up.”
* * *
Stephen was seething. How dare Faith not tell him about Josh’s call to a suicide prevention line? He had to hear it from Brittany. He pulled up to the estate and honked. Brittany and Josh thought they were just going to breakfast. Instead, he was taking them home. They’d be angry at first, but it was for their own good. Their mother was too distracted by other family matters to take care of them. They all seemed convinced that Josh was perfectly fine, but he wasn’t going to take that chance. Josh would be angry, sure, but it was for his own good. Stephen had already spoken with his doctor back in San Francisco and arrangements were being made to admit Josh into a psychiatric unit. One threat was all that he was willing to let go by. This was the second cry for help and everyone, including a so-called professional, was just ignoring it.
He smiled as Josh helped Brittany into the car. It’s too bad they couldn’t pack their things or say good-bye to their grandmother, but the longer Stephen waited the less he’d be able to hide his emotions. The sooner he got Josh checked in the better. Holidays were a high risk factor among those considering suicide. He’d been going along to get along, but not anymore. Losing his wife was one thing. He was not going to lose his son.
* * *
Snow was starting to fall. Hope could barely see the back of Roger anymore, and he was completely ignoring her pleas for him to stop. Mr. Jingles was running back and forth between them, and seemed to be getting more and more frantic.
“All right, boy,” Hope said the next time he came around. “I’m going back.” Roger knew the woods much better than she did, she would have to trust that he would be okay. She hated the thought that he wouldn’t get to say good-bye to Yvette. She turned in his direction.
“Yvette is very sick,” she yelled. “I thought you might want to see her.” She’s not going
to make it. Just ahead Roger stopped moving. Well, that was progress. “If you want, we’ll all leave the room so you can be alone with her.” There was no response from him, only the whistling of the wind. “She’s dying,” Hope finally said. “Your mother is dying. You should say good-bye.” She turned and headed back for home, tears pooling in her eyes, and prayers already forming on her lips. She had followed her gut. She only prayed she was right to do so.
* * *
“Where have you been?” Faith asked the minute she was back inside.
“I thought Roger should know,” Hope said. “I followed him into the woods.”
“Your face is beet red.”
“It’s windy and cold,” Hope said.
“I’ll start a fire,” Harrison said. He headed to the fireplace.
“Where is everyone?” Hope asked.
“Joy and Carla are with Yvette, Austin went to get the doctor, and Josh and Brittany are having breakfast with Stephen.”
“What can I do?” Hope hated standing around; she felt as if she were waiting for something awful to happen.
“Why don’t you plug in the tree and put on some Christmas music,” Faith said. “I don’t want the kids to be sad when they get back.”
“Got it.” Hope didn’t think they would be fooled that easily, but a little cheer couldn’t hurt. They all knew this was coming, and they had to pull together. Hopefully Yvette could turn a corner, get well enough to enjoy one last Christmas. And if not, she wanted her to go peacefully with all her family at her side. She looked outside again, into the gray sky. “Should I turn on all the outside lights too?” Maybe that would get Roger’s attention. Oh, who was she kidding. He had heard every word she said. It was his choice whether or not to come and hold his mother’s hand. And if he didn’t, it wasn’t his fault. The doctors were right. Nobody knew what was going on inside Roger’s head. The best any human being could ever do was to love everybody they could as long as they could. Everything else was completely out of your control.
“No,” Faith said. “No, no, no.” She was standing at the kitchen island, dumping items out of her purse.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s gone,” Faith said. “My entire bottle of Xanax is gone.” Just then Faith’s phone vibrated on the island. She looked at the screen. “It’s Charlie.” She snatched it up. “What? There must be some mistake. They’re just having breakfast.” Hope didn’t like the panicked sound in Faith’s voice. “I’ll call you back,” Faith said. She looked at Hope. “Charlie just said she just saw Stephen peeling out of town with the kids in his car.”
“Call them,” Hope said.
“They’re just having breakfast,” Faith said. Hope grabbed the phone and called Stephen. It went to voice mail. She called Josh. His went to voice mail too.
“Try Brittany,” Faith said. “She always answers.” Hope brought up Brittany’s name and called. Voice mail picked up after one ring.
Joy ran out from Yvette’s room. “She’s getting worse,” she called down. “How long until the doctor gets here?”
Faith looked at Hope. Her face was stamped with worry. “I don’t know what to do. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do.”
“Keep calling Stephen,” Hope said.
“Do you think Josh has it?” Faith said. “Did he take the Xanax?”
“What are you guys talking about?” Joy called down.
“Stephen seems to be taking Josh and Brittany out of town and Faith’s bottle of Xanax is missing.”
“A full bottle,” Faith said. She looked at Joy. “Tell me you took it. I won’t be mad at all. Please tell me you took it.” Joy shook her head, her face too overwhelmed with a look of fear. Hope never wanted to see that look on her sisters’ faces again.
“Should I call the police?” Faith said.
“We’re not even sure what’s happening yet,” Hope said.
“He’s not answering!” Faith hung up her phone and swore. “What do we do?”
“Is the doctor here yet?” Carla emerged from Yvette’s room. “We have to give her a higher dose of morphine,” she said. “I think we have to give her the final dose.”
“Did you take my Xanax, Mom?” Faith said. “Tell me you took my Xanax.”
“You have Xanax?” Carla said. “Sure I’ll take one if you’re offering—” She stopped talking and her head jerked up. For a second Hope thought Carla was trying to work out why her daughters looked frightened to death. But then Hope noticed she was looking beyond them. Harrison turned from tending the fire and let out a low whistle. The back door was open. Roger was standing inside the house.
CHAPTER 40
For a second nobody moved. Hope stepped up. “Come in,” she said to Roger. She took his hand and helped him over to the rug where he could take off his boots. He gripped her hand as he kicked them off. “Coat?” she said, reaching for it. He shook his head. “Okay. Come with me. You too, Mom.” She led him down the hall and into Yvette’s room. He didn’t look at anyone, including Carla, but rather kept his eyes glued to the floor as he followed Hope. Hope stopped when she got to Yvette’s door. “Carla is going to go in with you.”
“What?” Carla said from down the hall.
“She’s very sick,” Hope said. “Do you understand?” Roger looked Hope in the eyes and nodded. “I have to help Faith now. Carla is going to stay with you in case you need her. But she won’t bother you. Okay?”
“Okay,” Roger said. He still wouldn’t look at Carla, but he waited until she entered Yvette’s room and then followed her.
“Please, Mom,” Hope said.
“I won’t upset him,” Carla said. “This is about Yvette.”
“Thank you.” Hope hurried back down the hall. She took Faith’s hands in hers. “Go after them.”
“I’m too upset to drive,” Faith said.
“I’ll drive,” Harrison said.
“I’ll come too,” Joy said.
“Keep calling Stephen,” Hope told Joy. Joy nodded.
“What are you going to do?” Faith said.
“Stay here and wait for the doctor,” Hope said. “If you don’t find Stephen in the next half hour, call the police and then call me.”
“Okay,” Faith said. “Okay.” Joy took Faith’s arm.
“I’ve got you,” she said. “We’re going to find them.”
* * *
Roger came to the edge of the bedroom. Yvette could barely lift her head off the pillow, but her eyes lit up when she saw him.
“Mom,” he said. She lifted a shaking hand. After a brief hesitation he stepped forward and took it.
“My boy,” she said. “My boy.” Hope left the room as tears spilled out of her eyes. She found her own mother, also crying, standing in the kitchen.
“He knows who he is,” Carla said.
Hope nodded. “He does in this moment,” she said. “But he’s not the man you used to know.”
“I know,” Carla said. “I know.”
* * *
Faith sat in the back next to Charlie, giving directions to Harrison as she tried to keep her panic under control. She wanted nothing more to find Stephen and ram the back of his car, although she couldn’t do that with her children in the car. She’d never known him to be so vindictive. Then again she’d hurt him a lot this past year. And she should have told him about Josh reaching out to Austin. Her poor boy. They were going to have to get him to a psychiatrist, especially if he had taken her bottle of Xanax. She prayed he hadn’t done anything with them yet. Joy was still trying to reach Stephen on the phone. As per Faith’s instructions, Joy told him they feared that Josh had Faith’s bottle of Xanax.
“This is useless,” Faith said. “He had a head start.” A few minutes later the phone rang. “Please,” Faith prayed aloud.
“It’s Stephen,” Joy said.
“Thank God.” She was going to kill him, but for now she was going to be thankful.
“Where are you?” Joy said into the
phone. “Did you get my message?” Faith pulled over to the side of the road as she listened to Joy’s end of the conversation, which wasn’t much at first.
“Oh my God,” she said.
“What?” Faith said. “Don’t do that.”
“Josh took off,” Joy said.
“What do you mean?”
“Stephen pulled over to a gas station. Josh said he had to use the bathroom. He’s gone.”
Faith swore to herself while Joy wrote down where they were. “He called the police,” Joy said when she hung up. Tears spilled out of Faith’s eyes.
“Let me drive,” Charlie said. Faith didn’t even argue.
“I’ll tell Hope to call Austin,” Harrison said. “Josh called him once, maybe he’ll call him again.”
“He has to be trying to come back to us, right?” Faith said as Joy got in the back with Harrison and Faith took the passenger seat.
“We’ll find him,” Joy said, scrolling through Faith’s phone. “Is it under ‘Josh’? I don’t see it.”
“It’s under Baby Boy.” Faith could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.
“Found it,” Joy said.
“Put it on speaker.” Faith held her breath as Josh’s phone rang. A man’s voice answered after the second ring.
“Who is this?” Faith said. “If you hurt my son I’ll kill you.”
“It’s Austin. Josh called me. I’ve got him.”
“Is he?” Was all Faith managed to squeak out.
“He’s fine,” Austin said.
“Tell her I’m not going with Dad. I’m going to see Granny.”
“He said—”
“I hear you, Josh,” Faith said. “Austin can take you back to Granny’s.”
“Brittany is with Dad at a gas station—”
“I know. We’re going to get her right now.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No, no, I’m not mad. But, Josh—please. Do you have my bottle of Xanax?”
“What?”
“Please, give it to Austin.”
“I don’t have it,” Josh said.
“Did you already take them? Should he drive you to the emergency room?”