Loving Valentine: A Novella

by Samantha Young

  Remembering how every part of me had come alive as soon as I’d seen Valentine the other day, I knew the answer to that. Not only that, I’d been internet stalking her for years. Scrolled through her Instagram and Facebook photos until my eyes were blurry. After her divorce, I wanted to go to her, but I’d been afraid it would send me back to that place where I constantly pined for her. With distance, the pining was kept at a minimum.

  Yet in doing that, I’d broken her heart as much as she’d broken mine.

  “I need to end things with Elizabeth.”

  Wells clapped me on the shoulder. “About damn time.”

  The right thing to do after breaking up with your girlfriend was to wait at least a month before moving on, right?

  I could barely wait a week. I guess that made me a prick.

  But the heart wants what it wants.

  I’d promised I’d give it some time before I went to Valentine to clear the air between us. But I’d been home on a Friday night, working on some plans for a couple who were building an eco-home on a tiny plot of land in Beacon Hill at the end of one of the historical row houses. It was a miracle we’d even got planning permission.

  Wells and Cherry were out on a date.

  Fingers itching, I reached for my phone and opened Instagram. The first photo that came up on my feed was from Elizabeth’s account. She hadn’t blocked me.

  Now I knew why.

  The photo was of her kissing a guy. It looked like they were in a nightclub. The caption stated, “He’s a better kisser than the last guy I dumped.”

  Nice.

  Elizabeth wasn’t exactly devastated when we broke up. She was more pissed off that I’d ended things.

  “You do not get to break up with me. No one breaks up with me. I’m ending this. And don’t think for one second you can come crawling back when you realize what an epic mistake you just made.”

  She’d swaggered out of the café we were in as if she’d just been told her favorite store didn’t carry her shoe size anymore; not like she’d just ended a six-month relationship.

  Not gonna lie, her reaction made me feel less of a prick.

  And if she wanted to tell the world she dumped me, then have at it.

  I shook my head, disbelieving I’d wasted Peru on her, and typed Valentine’s name into the search. Finding her account, I tapped on her latest photo and felt that goddamn ache grip me tight.

  She was out with Mindy tonight. She’d posted a selfie of them in a bar and tagged the location.

  Jesus, she was so beautiful it killed me.

  Those dimples.

  Those sultry eyes.

  My attention moved to the location tag. They were in a bar near to me.

  Screw it.

  Not fifteen minutes later, I was pushing through the door of the crowded bar, searching the faces of the patrons for Valentine’s.

  I found her sitting at a booth across from Mindy. There was a guy next to Val’s friend but Valentine sat alone. I worked through the crowd and didn’t even say hi before I slid into the booth next to her.

  She looked up at me in shock. She’d pulled her hair into a high ponytail, elongating her eyes, which already looked huge and ‘come fuck-me’ because of the eyeliner she wore. I loved Val’s style. It was feminine and sexy and she did not know just how much all of that it was.

  “Hey, Cupid,” I gave her a coaxing smile.

  A bunch of emotions flashed across her face. None of them positive. Fuck. “What are you doing here?”

  “Saw you here, thought I’d say hi.” I looked at her friend Mindy and the guy I recognized from their shop’s Instagram account. It was Mindy’s boyfriend, Xander. Christ, I sounded like a stalker. I shouldn’t know these things. “Hey, Mindy.” I held out my hand to Xander. “Nice to meet you, I’m Micah.”

  Xander peered at me warily through his thick black-framed glasses but shook my hand. “Hey. Xander.”

  “Uh… dude, you’re in my seat.”

  Glancing up, my stomach dropped. A tall, wiry, good-looking guy was frowning down at me. He had a tray of drinks in his hands.

  This was a double date.

  Valentine was on a date.

  And this guy was exactly her type.

  No, I reminded myself. You are her type.

  I would not repeatedly make the same mistake.

  Feigning ignorance, I grinned and shimmied closer to Valentine, forcing her along the bench toward the wall. “Plenty of room for three.” There was no way I was letting him sit beside her.

  I was pretty sure I heard Mindy cover a snort of laughter with her hand.

  “I’m Micah,” I said as the indie guy reluctantly slid in beside me and began passing out the drinks he’d bought.

  “Uh… Ville.”

  I grinned at the thought. “Ville and Val? Really?”

  “What are you doing?” Valentine hissed under her breath at me.

  I ignored her. “How long have you two known each other.”

  “First date,” Ville flicked a wary look at me and then Val.

  Excellent. Definitely wasn’t going to feel bad then about messing this up for him.

  I turned to Valentine, looked into her huge dark eyes, and I realized in that moment that I couldn’t waste another eleven years of my life. If I didn’t say something now, even if it was humiliating and she rejected me, I would end up without her. And if I said what needed to be said and I still ended up without her, then at least I could say I actually goddamn tried.

  “I broke up with Elizabeth.”

  Valentine gaped at me. “What?”

  “You were right. Not about why I was with her or that a woman needs to look or be a certain way before she interests me,” I glared at her for those unfair comments, “But that sometimes she could be a not very nice person. And I didn’t want to be with someone like that.”

  Valentine stiffened beside me. “Good for you.”

  “You were wrong about everything else.”

  Her eyes flashed angrily. “I don’t think so.”

  “Then you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

  “Did you or did you not call me a screw up and then cut me out of your life when I married Louis?”

  “Wait, you were married?” Ville peered around me to ask.

  Mindy put her palm up to his face, her gaze fixed on us. “Shush it, Valo.”

  “What? It’s Ville.”

  “Ssshh.” She cut him a pleading look and turned back to me, leaning in. “Continue.”

  I tried not to laugh as I turned back to Valentine. She’d transferred her glower to her best friend. “I was the screw up. I was jealous and pissed, and rather than manning up and admitting how I really felt, I let you go. But you should know I have never regretted anything more in my life. And God, Cupid, I have missed the hell out of you.”

  Angry tears filled her eyes. “You can’t do this to me.”

  “Hey, look, I’m clearly in the middle of something here,” Ville said loudly, pushing away from the table. “I’m just gonna go.”

  “No!” Valentine turned to me, expression furious. “You go.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  Her eyes widened in shock.

  “Yeah, okay, see you.” Ville stalked off, pushing through the crowded bar.

  That was fine with me.

  Triumphant, I turned to Val.

  She looked ready to kill me.

  I could deal with that.

  “Don’t look so smug. And let me out of here.” She pushed at my chest. “Seriously… I’m feeling claustrophobic.”

  Sensing her genuine panic, I winced and slid back out of the booth to let her out. “Cupid—”

  “Don’t call me that!” She shoved past me, her face crumpling just before she rushed away.

  I moved to follow her but suddenly Mindy was in my face, holding me off. Xander turned out to be at least two inches taller than me, and he stood at Mindy’s back like her bodyguard.

  I wasn’t g
etting past them without having to go through him.

  Great. I didn’t think beating up Val’s friend would endear her to me.

  “I didn’t mean to…” I ran a hand through my hair in exasperation. “I didn’t come here to upset her.”

  “Why did you come here?” Mindy didn’t look accusatory. In fact, her entire attitude tonight made me think I could have an ally here.

  “Because our wires have been crossed for more than a goddamn decade. And I came here to clear the air. To be honest. Didn’t quite work out.”

  “Val is just pissed because you have the power to hurt her,” Mindy admitted. “But don’t stop trying. As long as you don’t plan to hurt her, don’t stop trying.”

  “I don’t plan to hurt her. I plan to love her.”

  She grinned, her blue eyes brightening. “Then don’t give up. We’ll be at a vintage market in Somerville on Saturday. I’ll DM you the address on Instagram.”

  Feeling a lot more hopeful than I was minutes ago, I raised an eyebrow and teased, “You know my Instagram account?”

  “Oh, please… you clearly stalked Val’s Instagram to find us here. The fact that she stalks you back should come as no surprise.”

  “She stalks me back?” I grinned.

  She rolled her eyes. “You two are hopeless. You better be there on Saturday, Green.”

  “Oh, I’ll be there.”

  8

  Valentine

  “What do you think of this one?” I held up a ‘50s raffia handbag. “It needs a little TLC, but I think we could make this beautiful and make a killing on it.” At the answering silence, I turned to Mindy to find her scanning the outdoor market. Was she looking for someone or something? “What’s with you? You’ve been distracted all morning.”

  Mindy whirled around, her short blond curls flying around her face. “I’m not distracted. You said something about a bag?”

  I held the bag up. “You are definitely distracted.”

  “How much?” she turned the tag and frowned. “Let me try whittle the price down first.”

  I let her take the bag to the seller because she was better at haggling than I was, and turned to see if the woman was selling other accessories with potential.

  “Do you think this is too yellow for me?”

  The familiar voice caught me off guard.

  My eyes flew up from the bin I was raking through to find Micah on the opposite side of it, holding a yellow bikini top to his chest. What the hell was he doing here?

  I straightened, my hands flying to my hips. “I think it’s too in Somerville for you. What are you doing here?”

  First, he hunted me down using Instagram (according to Mindy) and ruined my date, and now he was here? I hadn’t posted I was at this market.

  How did he—

  Mindy!

  Whipping my head in her direction, I found her watching us with avid interest. At my glare she gave me a half-grimace, half-smile, waved the bag at me as if in triumph and then darted off.

  That little interfering… “I’m going to kill her.”

  “Don’t.” Micah dumped the bikini back in the bin he found it in and stepped into my space. I wanted to retreat, but that would only prove to him he affected me. “She’s just trying to help me.”

  “Help you do what? Mess with my head again?”

  He frowned down at me. Those gray eyes of his were too easy to drown in. I wanted to look away. I didn’t want to be sucked back in. “Why did you say what you said in your store if you didn’t want to clear the air between us?”

  “I said what I said because it was true and I wanted you to know I know what kind of person you really are.”

  Hurt flashed in his eyes and guilt crushed me. “You don’t really mean that.”

  “Micah, why are you here?”

  “You know why.” He took hold of my upper arms and bent his head toward mine. His expression was everything I’d ever wanted from him when he looked at me. Yet now I had it, it terrified me. “You have to know that I have always felt the same way. From the moment I first saw you.”

  I shook my head.

  “I just… for so long I felt like I owed your parents. I didn’t want to upset them.”

  “So you wanted me. Just not enough?”

  His grip on me tightened. “You remember the day I came to see you. It was Valentine’s Day and when I got to your apartment, you had that guy there. Your boss.”

  “Hard to forget. You assumed some pretty not nice things.”

  “And what I should have said,” Micah pulled me closer, his breathing uneven, “Was that I was sorry. I was saying all those shitty things because I had come there to tell you I loved you and I wanted to be with you. And I was angry and jealous as hell.”

  Oh my God. I’d been right all along and I’d let my mother make me think differently.

  “Micah.” All that time wasted. “You should have said something. He was just a fling! If you had just said something—”

  “I know. I know.” He pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my neck with a groan. Was this happening? It felt so surreal. “Christ, I know. You have no idea how much I wished I’d said something.”

  “I should have something too,” I whispered, softening easily beneath his touch. I couldn’t let him take all the blame. “It’s on me too.”

  “Go on a date with me.”

  I pulled out of his embrace at the abrupt demand. My heart was racing. Excited butterflies sprung to life in my stomach. But fear had a tight grip on me.

  Micah had the power to devastate me.

  And too many people I’d loved had hurt me already.

  I didn’t know if I could trust that he wouldn’t do it again. “We’re too different.”

  He scowled. “That’s bullshit.”

  I let out a huff of laughter. “It would never work. It’s been years, Micah. We’re strangers now.”

  “No. We’re two sides of the same coin. We got split in half for a while, but we’ll fit good as new again if you’ll let it happen.”

  Oh my God, why did he have to be so romantic? “You have to mean this, Micah. This can’t just be because you miss me and are confusing our old friendship for something else.”

  “We were never friends.”

  I flinched like he’d hit me.

  “I mean,” he hurried to explain, “I never just thought of you as a friend. I don’t go around fantasizing about making love to my friends.”

  Heat stained my cheeks. “Oh.”

  He studied my reaction and his grin turned wicked. “If we’re putting the truth out there, I have been thinking about doing very dirty things to you since the moment I moved down the hall from your bedroom.”

  I burst into laughter, covering my hot face with my hands.

  Was this really happening?

  Gentle but strong fingers curled around my wrists and gave them a little tug. I let Micah lower them from my face.

  “Go on a date with me. Just one date.”

  “I need to think about it.”

  Micah winced. “Cupid, we have been overthinking this since the moment we met. Please. Just one date.”

  His eyes were big and pleading.

  Jesus, he was too handsome for his own good. I groaned, feeling my defenses crumble. “Okay. One date. Just one.”

  Wednesday, September 23rd

  Micah: three days until I see you again.

  Val: u’re really committed to this daily countdown thing, huh?

  Micah: I’m ignoring your lack of enthusiasm.

  Val: That bodes well.

  Micah: I know you. I know what you’re getting at.

  Micah: Trust me, when I’m inside you, you’ll be voraciously enthused.

  Val: Cocky much? Just try to make it thru the 1st (only?) date, Green.

  Micah: I can’t fucking wait. And 1st of many. Definitely not ‘only’.

  Thursday, September 24th

  Micah: are your favorite chocolates still Ferrero Rocher?
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  Val: yes. y?

  Micah: are your favorite flowers still peonies?

  Val: What r u up 2?

  Micah: peonies?

  Val: yes.

  Micah: Send me a pic. I miss your face.

  Val: sent. Send me one too. I may or may not miss urs back.

  Micah: you look beautiful. You always look beautiful.

  Val: Thank u. u look srsly hot. Damn u.

  Micah: you’re so romantic, Cupid.

  Val: I thought that was romantic!

  Friday, September 25th

  Val: So can u at least tell me how I should dress for this super secret date?

  Micah: dress like you.

  Val: helpful

  Micah: I thought so.

  Val: I might dress like Catwoman

  Micah: Yes! Do that!

  Val: I’m not dressing like Catwoman

  Micah: yeah maybe just keep that one for the bedroom.

  Val: aw in ur dreams, Green.

  Micah: since I was 16.

  Saturday, September 26th

  Micah: I can’t believe I get to go on a date with you tonight.

  I stared down at the text I hadn’t answered since this morning. I hadn’t known what to say. What I really wanted to say was, “Me too! I’m a ball of nerves and excitement and feel like all my romantic dreams are coming true.”

  But if I said that, then I was just opening myself up to being hurt by him before we even went on the date.

  A knock sounded on my apartment door and I almost jumped out of my skin. Mindy had taken off with Xander after we closed up shop for the day. She said my nervous energy was making her restless.

  I understood. I was ‘vibing big time’, as Mindy would say.

  Taking a deep breath, shaking out my hands, I cast one last look at my reflection in the long mirror that hung on the wall near our apartment door. I’d worn my favorite ‘50s prom dress just for the occasion. It was a Ted Baker dress more than a few seasons out of style but it had a ‘50s boat neck, fitted waist with a slim brown leather belt and a flared skirt. All in a stunning cherry blossom print silk fabric. It was me, but a little fancier than usual.

  I’d left my hair down, curled it into soft waves with my flat iron, and had spent almost an hour on my make-up.