by Kamryn Hart
She swallowed nervously and closed Russel’s door as she left. She tiptoed up the stairs to the room Cedric had been staying in since he arrived. It was probably his parents’ before. It was big and had its own fancy bathroom, the one Stella used for her bath.
Before she was even standing outside his room, she noticed light seeping through into the dark hall from the small crack underneath the wood door. Why was his light still on? Was Cedric Snow having a hard time sleeping too?
As soon as she made it to the door, the light flickered off. Now he was going to bed?
Stella opened the door without knocking. She wasn’t quiet about it either. It slammed into the wall, announcing her presence with a bang. Cedric was standing at the edge of his bed, about to crawl in. His eyes flashed gold in the dark as he stared at her. She guessed she had startled him, but he had his mask on again. His emotions were unreadable even to her sensitive nose.
He wasn’t wearing a shirt, so his fair and flawless skin was beautifully on display. He was nice to look at. Hopefully, he’d be nice to touch intimately as well.
“What?” he asked. “Is something wrong?”
“I want sex,” Stella said bluntly.
Cedric balked. He replied, “I don’t.”
“Lie. I know how attracted you are to me. I can smell it on you, and I’ve seen it.” Her eyes went to where his cock was once again announcing Cedric’s want for her, his need.
Sighing, Cedric rubbed his eyes tiredly. “Why do you want sex all of a sudden? I thought you didn’t like me.”
Instead of answering, Stella walked up to him, shifted on her tiptoes, grabbed the back of his neck, and pulled him down so their lips met in a fierce kiss. Cedric sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, and Stella was afraid he’d jerk away, so she held him tighter, kissed him deeper.
In between kissing him, she let her lips linger against his and said, “I want sex all of a sudden because I want to thank you.”
This time Cedric kissed her. This kiss was different than the ones she was giving him. It was soft and tentative, his tongue lightly brushing her lips as if tasting her was a privilege, an expensive meal he was determined to savor every bite of. It made her shiver and the space between her thighs warmer.
“No,” Cedric said against her lips. Then he stopped kissing her, broke her grasp around his neck and shied away from her, but he couldn’t get far because the bed was a step behind him, trapping him there unless he wanted to shove past her.
“B-but I thought you wanted…” Stella didn’t know what to say. She knew Cedric wanted her, so why was he refusing her now? How else was she supposed to convince him to keep her and Russel?
Stella tried again. “I thought you wanted sex. I thought if I gave you what you wanted, you’d keep me and Russel forever.”
Cedric’s unreadable eyes, filled with emotion. They filled with hurt. The pain was so clear there, Stella felt it like a punch in the gut.
“You can’t buy me with sex,” he said quietly.
He inched around her, trying to escape, but Stella grabbed his arm. “No! Cedric, I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just… I’m so afraid Tyler will come back. I’m so afraid Russel will never have anything like this again. You’ve given him so much, and I don’t want it taken away. I’m only an omega wolf, and Tyler’s an alpha. I wasn’t strong enough to set us free.”
She took a breath. “I don’t know if he’s still out there, if he’s looking for us. I hope he isn’t, but he could be. I can’t keep Russel safe on my own.”
Tears leaked out of her eyes, and she angrily wiped them away. Now it looked like she was trying to buy Cedric with tears, but she wasn’t. She was doing the hardest thing for her. She was opening up to him. She was telling him the truth, trusting him. What he did with that was up to him.
Cedric tentatively reached out his hand and brushed his fingers across her cheek, catching a stray tear. His voice was low as he said, “I know a good pack of wolves who would keep you and Russel safe. That way Russel can grow up in a pack. I know how important that is for wolves. Hell, I lived with that same pack for a couple months myself. It was… life changing.
“I’m a damn bird, but I saw the value of having a pack, of having a family there to support and help you. They did that for me. Blue Pack. Nickolas Sipe is their Alpha, and he’s good. Very good. They took me in after saving me from a shifter collector in Idaho. That was what happened to me. That’s why I disappeared. A couple of witches stole my soul and sold me. The rumors, the speculation on the news, none of that was true, but it may as well have been. It was entirely possible I would have disappeared for another woman because that was the kind of guy I was. I was never a good husband or a good father, but that wolf pack made me see things differently. I even learned to forgive the witch who broke me because there’s always more to every story, isn’t there?
“I came back because I wanted to fix things and be the kind of man I learned I wanted to be. This is my life, not my parents’, and these are my choices. You have choices too, Stella. No one is controlling you anymore. You can start over with a new pack that will treat you right.”
Stella’s heart sank and she shook her head. “No,” she said quietly. “I don’t want a wolf pack. I want to stay here with you. Russel wants to stay here with you.”
Cedric withdrew his hand back to his side and slipped out of her now slack grip. He sat on the edge of his bed and looked at her thoughtfully.
“Can I sit by you?” Stella asked, not wanting to chance chasing him away.
Cedric held his hand out to his side, indicating the space next to him. Cautiously, she sat beside him, not close enough to touch, but close enough she could feel the heat of his body radiating out from him.
“I want to tell you everything,” she said.
“I’m all ears,” he replied.
“I used to be a part of a normal wolf pack. Sort of. I was the only pup in the pack because wolves were having a hard time conceiving or only having children born without the wolf. Wolfless kids weren’t allowed to stay because… they weren’t wolf.” She sighed. “I was valued, the pride and joy of the pack. I was the shining star of Ford Pack. Tyler’s pack. Tyler Ford was our Alpha, and he was good. Once.
“He kept us safe and cared for us. We were a nomadic pack, but everywhere we went felt like home because we had each other. We were happy. I was happy, if not a little lonely.
“There were several pairs of mated wolves in our pack, but still I was the only pup. As the years went on and that fact stayed the same, things started to break. Tyler couldn’t figure out what he was doing wrong. As Alpha, he took all of this on his own shoulders even though there was nothing he could have done about it. That’s what an Alpha does. An Alpha carries the burdens of their entire pack. We met other packs with the same problem we had, but that didn’t matter because we were Tyler’s pack. We were his responsibility.
“No one noticed soon enough, but Tyler was losing it. He became angry and bitter. More and more each day, he was falling into madness. Berserker. He was slowly letting the Berserker eat him.
“One day, when I was fourteen, he snapped. He went full-on Berserker and killed every fucking one of his packmates—except for me. Somewhere in the back of his broken mind, he still considered me valuable. His shining star. He took me, raped and claimed me over and over.”
Cedric tensed at her side and cautiously placed his hand on her knee. She welcomed the comfort and placed her hand on top of his as she let out a shuddering breath. The Lunas Sigil on her left forearm sent warmth through her bloodstream and helped soothe her as well, a reaction to Cedric’s touch.
“I got pregnant with Russel,” she continued. “I tried to run from Tyler more times than I can count. Then I started worrying about the baby inside of me. Sometimes, Tyler would hurt me if I ran, so I stopped. I didn’t want the baby to get hurt because of me. That didn’t seem right somehow—even thoug
h it was a baby I hadn’t even asked for.” She bit her lip. “I was fourteen and so scared of everything happening. I hate that I thought like that now. Russel is the best thing to ever happen to me.
“Tyler ended up settling into a rhythm. He’d move around constantly, kind of like he did when he had an entire pack. He’d find other she-wolves and keep them, and when he couldn’t find them, he went for humans. Some of them turned wolf because of the poison in his Berserker fangs, others went as rabid and wild as him.
“When I gave birth to Russel, I still kept quiet for a while. I couldn’t escape with a baby if I couldn’t escape by myself, so I focused on keeping Russel safe instead. Tyler still took me whenever he wanted though. It seemed to be the only thing that calmed him down. Kind of. But any trace of the Alpha I knew was long gone the night he killed everyone and raped me for the first time.
“I got pregnant again, but I couldn’t stand going through what I went through with Russel all over again. I couldn’t have another baby all by myself in some condemned building. Russel almost died because of that and because I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.”
She took a breath to calm down. She was on the verge of getting hysterical. “I decided we couldn’t stick around. Russel was four, I was pregnant, and I tried to run again, but Tyler found me of course. He hurt me badly for running, so badly he killed my second baby by ripping me open. I almost bled out that night, but I somehow lived through it. I haven’t gotten pregnant again since then, and I’m honestly glad for that.”
Tears were streaming down her face now. She couldn’t stop them. It still hurt to think about Russel’s baby brother or sister. But maybe that baby ended up being the lucky one. At least they never had to live like she and Russel had. Now that the tears had started, she couldn’t stop the sobbing. Her entire body ached, the memory of Tyler cutting her open made her lower stomach burn with pain, and she curled in on herself.
Cedric’s arm was around her, comforting as he ran his fingers down her back and held her close. He didn’t say a word. He just held her while she tried to get her pain under control.
She took a deep breath and spoke again. “I hate that this fucked up life is the only one Russel has ever known. As he got older, Tyler started noticing him, seeing him as a threat. I took many more beatings for my son, and I would have done it forever if I had to. But then, a few days ago, Tyler kidnapped a teen human girl who came from money. A grizzly shifter came for her a couple days ago. He looked like a mercenary, an illegal man-for-hire type, and he brought down Tyler’s latest territory. Alerted the cops and everything. Russel and I escaped, and we found your cabin.”
“Stella,” Cedric said softly. He grabbed hold of her and held her close. He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t have to. The way he held her said enough. She clung to him in return, amazed that she found him, a ray of light, after so many years in the dark. She nuzzled his chest, savoring the feel of his skin. He was nice to touch.
“I can’t fall asleep,” she whispered. “Can I sleep with you? No sex or whatever. Just you’re so warm and I…”
“Sleep with me,” he said, kissing the top of her head.
When he let her go, Stella crawled under the covers and he crawled in next to her. Her heart beat a little faster when she felt him close to her again, touching her, his chest against her back. She rolled over to face him and wiggled to get even closer. He experimentally wrapped his arm around her, and she touched his face, tracing the curve of his strong jaw and feeling the texture of his day-old scruff. She could see him perfectly well in the dark thanks to her wolf.
“I like you, Cedric Snow. I have no idea what you were like before this, but the Cedric I know, the one who treats my son like a treasure, the one who colored a picture with his little girl, the one I saw who let his woman go when she had fallen in love with someone else, is a very good man.”
Cedric let out a little laugh. “I like you, too. You are one sexy, courageous mama wolf. You’ve given your son absolutely everything you ever could, and you’re still doing that. He is a lucky kid, Stella. Even with all the shit, he probably got the best mother in the world. Russel is going to be just fine. Because of you.”
“Sweet talker,” Stella accused, but she couldn’t stop the smile on her face. It was nice to have someone talk this way about her. So, she placed her lips on his and kissed him sweetly in return just because she wanted to. Just because of everything he said.
Oh, Cedric tasted so good. She teased at the edges of his mouth with her tongue until he finally let her in. She ravaged his mouth, explored every inch. She wanted to devour him. She wanted to keep him. Maybe he felt the same way because he kissed her back as thoroughly. He twined his leg with hers and she gasped as some part of his body pressed into the front of her sex. A moan bubbled up in her throat.
“Sorry,” Cedric said as he stilled. “Getting carried away.” Reluctantly, he moved back, kissed her forehead and held her. “No more kissing. Sleep, Stella. Get some sleep.”
“Goodnight, Cedric,” she murmured.
“Goodnight, Stella. Have sweet dreams.”
Chapter 14
THE WARMTH OF THE woman sleeping next to him had Cedric’s brain in a haze. Light was just starting to creep in through the window. He was awake. Sort of. Stella was in his arms, her head underneath his chin, her hands and arms folded up between them. She was breathing deeply, golden strands of her hair were caught on her moist lips. Was he dreaming?
No, he could feel her right there. She spoke to him last night, told him everything. Tyler was the Berserker Rogue was looking for. He had to be. Unfortunately, Cedric had absolutely nothing that could help the panther shifter with his hunt. Tyler was long gone by now or the cops had put him down. Maybe Rogue’s job was over. Then again, if he was still alive, there was always a chance the Berserker wolf would go back to his territory even if he had to retreat for a time. Cedric would have to ask Stella where Tyler was keeping them. Maybe Rogue would find something after all. It was better safe than sorry. And Stella might know more about Tyler’s moving patterns—if he had any. Too bad his damn phone didn’t work in the cabin.
God, Cedric was fucking hard this morning, though. He went to bed hard. Stella had him all riled up, but sex was not what she needed last night. After what she had been through, he sure as hell wasn’t going to push for sex. If she decided she wanted to do it with him, he would make sure it was the best experience of her life, but only if she wanted it.
Damn. When she came in last night and said she wanted sex, he had a billion confused feelings and thoughts. It probably didn’t help that he was having a hard time sleeping last night too. He was tired. His brain was short-circuiting. But part of him was a “hell yes” and the other part was a “hell no.” He didn’t want to fuck. He wanted to make love to her. And he was certain she didn’t understand the latter. She was trying to get him to keep her and Russel, and she was trying to pay him with sex. He was not interested in that one bit.
And Stella had nothing to fear. He already wanted to keep her and Russel.
Stella let out a little moan that made Cedric’s skin prickle. She rolled over so her back was facing him. Then she scooted back into him, rubbing her ass against his hard-on. Cedric let out a tortured groan in response. This wolf was going to be the death of him.
He was about to move away, or move Stella away, but then he saw her eyes were open. She was, in fact, rubbing against him intentionally. She moved more urgently, letting out another moan.
“I don’t want to buy you with sex, Cedric,” she said. “I just really want to be with you right now. Is that okay? I feel like I’m going to fall apart if I can’t have you.”
Cedric gripped her hip tightly, trying to steady himself. “If you’re willing to risk me falling in love with you,” he said breathlessly.
Stella stopped moving for a moment—but only a moment. “Maybe I’ll fall in love with you, too.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Yes, Cedric. Yes. Please.”
They were totally doing this then. Cedric wouldn’t say no to that. This wasn’t like last night.
He got up on his arms and legs and rolled Stella onto her back so he could press down on her and kiss her hard. Stella let out gasping moans of pleasure as she kissed him back just as fiercely. They danced in time with the other in perfect synchronization.
Cedric nibbled on her jaw after breaking their kiss. Stella’s hands explored every part of his arms, shoulders, and back that she could reach. Cedric let up so she could touch him how she wanted to for a moment as he held himself above her. She moved her hands to his chest and lightly scratched at his skin as she traced his pecks, brushed his nipples, kneaded his abs. He shivered all over. It felt so good.
Stella grabbed the bottom of her sweater and tried to wiggle out of it. Cedric assisted her in shedding the thing. She wasn’t wearing a bra, so her large breasts were bared before him. God, she was breathtaking. He moved one of his hands because he had to touch her. He palmed one full breast and then the other. He was gentle because she was still healing from some bruising. Soon she wouldn’t be so breakable. Soon she would be plump, healthy and happy. He threw back his head in pure bliss as he moaned. Stella felt better than he could have ever imagined. The most beautiful woman in the world. That was what she was.
He pressed his lips gently to all the scars on her skin, paying special attention to every inch of her torso. She let out little helpless sounds as she held his right arm, the one he was using to support himself, tightly, pressing their Lunas Sigils together, sharing their energy in every way.
Cedric traced the deep scar marring her lower stomach, indenting her flesh. It was a stark white against the natural tan of her skin. She flinched at his touch. He stopped.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, confused.
“No, no,” Stella whispered. “It just… it looks terrible, doesn’t it?”
“No. Every inch of you is perfect.” And he meant that.
Her eyelids fluttered, the lilac of her eyes twinkling underneath like stars. “Keep going.”