by Brogan, Kim
“No! Are you an idiot? If you love him, you owe to both of you to try. My God, you all live in a bubble so insular you can’t even take chances on the unknown. I take chances and I get my teeth kicked in, but at least I know I still bleed. If we pricked you, would you bleed?”
“Oh, let’s not get dramatic.”
“No, heavens let’s not feel anything. It’s so much easier than feeling the pain of rejection. So what if you actually live happily ever after? Too great a risk, isn’t it?”
“My, my, Maggie, you really are a romantic.”
“No, I’m a pragmatist. You can only feel love if you’re willing to get hurt. Sorry, those are the rules. They suck, but then I didn’t make them. Bye Fiona, I’ll see you later.”
I jumped out of the car and headed to the ticket booth, still shaking my head and wondering if I even wanted to be a part of a world where what other people thought of you defined who you were, where feelings were denied to insure that this imaginary kingdom continued. After all, what was a title? It was something out of a feudal system that had died centuries ago. As an American, it meant nothing more to me than good fodder for a Merchant-Ivory movie.
As I waited on the platform, I managed to find a seat on one of the three benches that flanked the wall of the ticket booth. It had started raining, but I was underneath the platform’s roof watching the heavy drops splatter on the dust of the train that waited to take people to London. I could smell that iron-like smell that comes from rain when it first starts and knew we were in for a good, heavy storm.
The only thing that was clear to me was that I now felt sorry for Henry. I had been hoodwinked into thinking he didn’t have a care in the world, that life for him was a smooth path with nothing more than a few pieces of gravel to hinder his way. In fact, Henry’s life was a sham and at the root of it was a man that had loved a woman for decades, but had been rejected. What was sadder was that she loved him too, but was afraid that by committing she would eventually lose both his love and friendship. They were even more pathetic than I was.
I went back to Campbell’s and waited up erroneously believing that he would come back to the townhouse. I didn’t realize he was closer to their estate, Robscott Manor, in Saffron Walden and would go there. I waited, but no one called so I went to bed.
Sunday morning the phone rang and I ran down to pick it up, almost losing my balance on the stairs and falling. After stumbling, I managed to get to the phone before the answering machine picked up.
“Hello?”
“Mags, dear?”
It was Henry.
“Henry, where are you?”
“I’m at the hospital with Campbell. He asked me to let you know his father died about half an hour ago.”
“Oh, God. Please tell him that I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, darling, not right now. We’re headed to Robscott Manor to help make the arrangements. Campbell specifically asked me to invite you.”
“I don’t have a car.”
“Oh, yes, that’s right. Hmmm. Do you have enough money for the train to Saffron Walden? I could pick you up there?”
“I can’t miss anymore school. Is Gemma with Campbell?”
“Yes, of course.” He sounded surprised by the question. “Why do you ask?”
“Just that I don’t know what good I’d do being there. I don’t want to cause problems or be a burden.”
“I tell you what. You go to school tomorrow and I’ll keep you informed on what’s going on.”
I nodded at the same time I responded, “Okay. Please tell Campbell…” I stopped. What I wanted to tell Campbell and what I could tell Henry to tell Campbell were two different things. “Tell Campbell that I’m sorry for his loss and that if I can do anything, bring him anything from home, or …well, whatever, to just call.”
“Righto. I’ll talk to you soon.”
We hung up and I had a nagging feeling that I should have gone, but in reality, I didn’t know what good I could do and I really did need to get caught up in school. The following morning I went to Dean Hopkins and explained about the Earl of Falkirk dying and that I would need time to attend the funeral. He wasn’t that sympathetic.
“It was my understanding that you are dating Lord Guilford and not Lord Adair. I doubt Lord Adair and his family really require your presence in order to make it through these trying times.”
I was pissed. What did he know about my relationship with Lord Adair? Nada. I tried to control my temper, “Dean Hopkins, it was Lord Adair who specifically requested my presence. We’re good friends.”
He was sitting with his palms together, fingers touching his lips as in prayer. He finally looked at me over his glasses. “Miss McGee, you may attend the funeral and miss your classes if you have the permission of your instructors to make up the work.”
I wasn’t sure if he was done so I waited. He finally put down his hands and looked over at me, “Is there something else, Miss McGee?”
I shook my head, jumped up, grabbed my backpack and jettisoned myself out of his office, running across the lawns to my instructors’ offices, knocking on the door of my English Jurisprudence instructor. He wasn’t in so I went down to my International Law instructor. He wasn’t in either. I finally found my Estates instructor and explained the situation. Being a few years younger than me, and hearing that Lord Adair had asked for my presence, he acquiesced and even gave me the work for the following week, should I need more time off. He reminded me of the fact that he taught estates and I was about to witness the transference of a large estate from one Earl to another. So, in essence, in these eyes, I was on an elaborate field trip.
This was just what I needed. Once I had one instructor’s approval, I was able to truthfully tell my other instructors that everyone was accommodating me so far. To some degree or another they assisted me by giving me the lesson plans, insuring that I wouldn’t get too far behind. I was extremely grateful and rather pleased that it looked as if there was a light school load for the next week.
I attended class for the next four days, while constantly checking my cell phone for messages, but I didn’t receive any. At the end of Friday, I crossed Parker’s Piece in a real downpour, getting back to the townhouse soaking wet. I put the kettle on first before stripping out of my clothes and into sweats and a T-shirt.
I found some lunchmeat and made a sandwich, promising myself that I would buy more lunchmeat for Campbell the next day. Sitting at the breakfast bar, I tried to call Henry, but there was no response.
I spent the next four hours working on the week’s assignments, doing the reading and writing an essay on the North Sea Convention. I was bleary eyed by ten, so I put my work down and went up to take a shower. The water felt nice and warm against my cold skin. I used my Lavender shampoo and volumizing conditioner, shaved my legs and then turned off the water. Reaching for a towel I saw the door to the bathroom fly open. I jumped back in the tub, up against the tile, banging my head as I screamed for my life.
He didn’t hesitate; rapidly crossing the eight feet, he scooped me up and held me, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I was so excited about seeing you and when you didn’t answer me, I was worried. You can’t imagine how relieved I was when I came up the stairs and heard the shower.”
“Campbell, what are you doing here?”
“I had to get away, I was suffocating. I told everyone that I had received a text requesting that I take a look at one of the petri dishes from the dorms. I told Henry as I left, that I would drive back tomorrow. I think he knows I’m coming to see you. As I rolled up the window he said, “Tell her that I’ll see her tomorrow.”
I let out a breath. Just when I had given up on this group Campbell runs back to be with me. He clung onto my naked body, his hand running up and down my back, face buried in the crook of my neck. His rain coat was cool from having come in from the rain, his hair damp and falling down into his eyes.
“Maggie, I just need
ed to be with you tonight. I don’t want to think about Gemma, Henry, or the Earl of Falkirk. I want to sleep in your arms tonight. I have to bury my father tomorrow and I have to get some sleep. But, I can’t sleep in that sepulcher of a house tonight…I feel my father all around me.”
I ran my hand through his wet brown hair and held him for several minutes before I started to shiver. He placed his hands on my face and tilted it up to kiss me. Grazing his lips across my lips, Campbell rubbed his nose next to mine.
He smiled, “Come on, let’s get you warmed up, you’re shaking.”
I nodded and he put an arm around me as we made our way to the guest room. I wasn’t sure what to do, put on a gown or lay back and think of England. He took off his coat and threw it on the chair. Sitting on the bed, he started to untie his shoes, slipping them off as he continued to talk to me.
“It will be impossible for me continue to work at Addenbrooks and handle the estate affairs. I’m going through my father’s calendar for the year and there are meetings already scheduled out a year from now. He has several charity events and then dates for meeting with the estate managers, not to mention the daily work running the various businesses.” Campbell’s voice seemed to get tighter as he talked about it.
I came to the conclusion as he continued to moan about the upcoming year that he best thing for him was for me to slip into bed naked and shag him until he fell asleep. The guy definitely needed to get laid.
“Honey, just get undressed and come to bed. We’ll deal with the Earl’s calendar tomorrow.”
He looked at me and smiled. “You know, that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in days.”
He pulled off his pants and hung them neatly over the chair. The cable knit sweater was next and then the boxers. I liked watching him undress. He was so methodical and so handsome taking each piece off like a judge disrobing. I wanted to giggle, but he was in his own world and I didn’t want him to know I found him slightly silly because of the effort he took to undress properly. I mean, come on, he had a naked woman waiting for him.
He climbed into bed, finally noticing my loving gaze and gave me a broad grin. “God, you don’t know what a welcomed sight you are. I really didn’t want you to leave the other night.”
“You didn’t need to hear us snipe at each other. Look how stressed you are. And your Mother seemed to be much more comfortable when Gemma was around.”
“Gemma worked for years with my father before running off with the Stock Boy. My mother trusts her because she knows that Gemma is familiar with the estate, the family business and the people we’ll have to deal with and all its machinations. So you see why this is complicated? Gemma is genuinely the one person my mother can depend on…it certainly isn’t me.”
I heard the groan and realized it was coming from me. Gemma was an essential person to the solution of his emotional and financial dilemma. Could this get any worse?
Chapter 16
Two and a Half Lovers
He snickered and then grabbed a handful of her hair. It felt like silk in his hands. Campbell rubbed it between his fingers, and then slowly dropped it. They touched noses. Campbell’s was cold next to Maggie’s. He kissed the tip of her nose as his hand slipped down her spine to the small of her back.
Maggie leaned in and kissed Campbell as softly as possible, gently biting his lower lip. He took a deep breath, breathing in her mango shampoo and conditioner. His fingers slipped over the curve of her ass. Pulling her into his hips, they continued to share deep kisses, tongues making love as they did.
She could feel the excitement stir between them as his erection grew stronger, pushing into her thigh. Reaching down, she slipped a hand under his balls, fondling them individually and then stroking up his shaft sending his heart into overdrive. Something felt different tonight; he had a hunger to be with her. He wanted the sex, but he wanted the connection more.
Maggie could feel his need for her and she couldn’t help but respond. Despite all the obstacles in front of her, this was the first time that she knew she was in love, heart and soul, with this man. A wave of sadness washed through her as she embraced how she felt. She knew that in two months, she would be leaving England, Campbell, and her heart.
Campbell could feel something change in Maggie, a subtle shift in her emotions. She seemed to have faded and then come back. “Maggie, where did you go?”
“Home. I just went home for a minute.” She leaned in and kissed him again, her hand sliding up and down the thick, solid, shaft.
Campbell pushed Maggie’s shoulder down to the pillow and stared into her eyes as her hand continued to give him pleasure by stroking him in a steady rhythm that increased as he kissed her again. Feeling between her legs he was excited to feel how wet she was. He pulled away and then pushed her legs open slowly with his knee, not taking his eyes off of hers as he felt between the folds with the tip of his erection. It was slow and sensual as he pushed up inside of her.
She felt as if they were melding together. It was more than pleasure, it was spiritual, a slow spiritual dance in which neither of them could take their eyes off the other.
“Maggie?” Campbell whispered as he pushed inside her.
“Yes?” she whispered back as she felt him pull out and then slide back in.
“I love you.”
Maggie studied his eyes. Is it the sex talking? No, there’s love there, I know it. Nodding, Maggie smiled and reached up to kiss him, “I love you too.”
Campbell closed his eyes as his face contorted from his ejaculation. She squeezed down with her muscles making him involuntarily toss his head back as the climax overtook him. “Oh, yes.” His voice was deep, husky. He fell on top of her, but didn’t pull out. Pulling her onto her side, he reached down between her wet thighs and started to rub. He was still hard enough that she could clamp down around him as he played with her clit.
Maggie started to moan, holding onto his head, kissing him. Sticking her tongue as far inside of his mouth as she could, she tasted him until the wave came. Campbell watched as she pulled her head back to take a deep breath. He began sucking her hard, ripe, nipples sending the orgasm through her body like white lightening searing her womb. She clamped down again on his semi-flaccid penis, milking it until the waves subsided. Campbell slowly pulled out and put his hand gently on her breast, not in a sexual gesture, but one of intimacy.
“Can you wait until we get through the funeral before I tell Gemma? I need to walk a very fine line. My family needs her right now. I can’t afford to alienate her.”
She took his face in her hands. “I can wait.”
“Great.” He kissed her. “I’m tired.”
Maggie kissed him on the lips. “Go to sleep, honey. Go to sleep.”
He put his head on her breasts like he used to when they were living together, falling asleep almost immediately, his dark eyelashes resting on his cheeks and his face looking young and handsome and relaxed for the first time in days.
*********************
Fiona wished she had worn different shoes. These were just slightly too big, making it difficult to scurry from the car and up the steps to the front door. She found the brick, pulled it out, rummaged for the key and put the brick back. Opening the door, Fiona heard someone fiddling with the lock downstairs in the kitchen and knew she had very little time. She shot up the stairs, bursting through the bedroom door, closed it and started grabbing men’s clothing up in her arms.
Two sets of eyes flew wide open, staring up in shock from the bed. Fiona put a finger to her mouth to keep them from talking and mouthed the word, Gemma! Campbell jumped up naked as Fiona pushed his clothes into his arms and pointed to the space next to the wardrobe where he wouldn’t be seen if someone barged in. They could hear someone just starting up the from the first floor stairs. Fiona threw off her sweater and climbed in bed, shoes and all. Just as Gemma burst through the guest room door, Fiona planted a kiss on Maggie’s lips, shocking both Maggie and Campbell who tried despe
rately to flatten himself out against the wall.
“I’ve caught…” Gemma only then realized what she had caught. Not Campbell with Maggie, but Fiona. She was terribly confused.
Fiona and Maggie both pulled the duvet up to their necks. Fiona screamed, “What the hell do you think you’re doing! Get the fuck out of here Gemma!”
Gemma was so dazed that she didn’t see Campbell’s belt on the floor under the chair, but Maggie and Fiona did. She backed out of the room and closed the door behind her. Fiona put a hand up to keep anyone from saying anything or moving. Footsteps went down the hall to the master bedroom and then finally back down the stairs to the first floor.
Fiona looked at Campbell who was hastily putting on his clothes, “Well? What’s the story going to be? Why is your bed made and why aren’t you here? What do we tell her?”
Campbell thought as he did up his trousers and in hushed tones said. “I was here, but went over to Downing early this morning. At that moment, his muffled cell phone rang from the pocket of his trousers. He quickly took it out and looked at the I.D. Putting a finger up to his lips, he opened up the phone to answer.
“Hello...Yes, I’m over at Downing. I couldn’t sleep, but I’m on my way back home, where are you?”
There was a deep silence, “Yes, well start the kettle and, if you don’t mind, can you scrounge up some breakfast, I’m famished. Yes, I’ll be there in five minutes.”
He hung up and looked at Fiona and Maggie still in bed. “I’ve got to sneak out the front and pretend that I’m coming back from Downing.”
Fiona nodded. “I’ll go down and be righteously indignant which, along with cooking breakfast, should keep her preoccupied.”
Campbell gave Maggie a look of longing. “Soon, dear. Let’s just get through today.” He leaned over Fiona and kissed Maggie passionately as she leaned in towards him.
Fiona grimaced, “Break it up you two! We need to get cracking. Maggie you need a shower, you smell like Campbell and sex all rolled into one.”