by Audrey Storm
“I hope you work in a relaxing environment at least. I think it's important to be reminded that there's more to the world than work. There's so much beauty out here. Too many people deny themselves this pleasure. I see it in my clients all the time. I try to tell them that they need to take some time for themselves but they just come in for a massage and think that it will cure all their ills. Are you happy Andrea?”
The question took me by surprise and I wasn't sure how to answer it. How are you supposed to answer a question like that?
“Am I happy? Is anyone?”
“I'm happy,” she replied. That did not surprise me. She was happiness personified. “All you have to do is look around you and see happiness,” she said, and smiled widely. She started to skip and I brought my hand to my face in laughter. She took my hands and tried to get me to skip along with her but I couldn't. It wasn't in my programming. Eventually she took the hint and stopped but there was an air of disappointment about her and I felt as though I had let her down, destroyed some illusion she had of me. I felt sorry for myself as well because deep down I wanted to skip. I wanted to remember what it was like to enjoy life yet I seemed determined to turn away from every opportunity. I longed for her to start again. This time I would join her, I told myself, but she carried on walking, looking deep into the forest for a new adventure or a new secret, looking away from me. Had I ruined things already?
We reached a small piece of the field where we decided to set up our tents. I'd bought one from a store recently and had never thrown one up before. Of course Lisa was doing well with hers, and the others were seeming to manage it as well but I was having some difficulty. I managed to get a few poles in place but then it collapsed and I found myself flailing about with my hands, trying to escape the grip of the cloth as it enveloped me. I heard their laughing and then a hand shot through the purple world, and red hair came through in flashes. I reached out and grasped the hand, and was pulled out with the tent looking ruined, like a fallen parachute. I hopped up and almost fell into Clara's arms.
“Would you like some help?” Clara offered. Usually I had a problem with accepting help. Pride had always been my biggest downfall but I wasn't going to let that happen here. I gladly accepted her offer and she showed me how to rig the tent so that it wouldn't fall down. Soon enough the other three were helping me as well, and I had a little home away from home. We nodded at each other, proud that we had overcome this first hurdle, and discussed what to do next. The drive had taken a few hours and it was a little past midday. We unpacked some sandwiches and decided to have an explore.
“How you hold up Andrea, getting withdrawal symptoms yet?” Kira said. I laughed it off but I was actually missing my extra limbs. I'd gotten so used to being connected all the time that being away from it felt like I was cut off.
“At least we're hear to take your mind off it,” Simone said, and we all walked forward. The ground was uneven and tough to walk across. There was no clear path either.
“We're not going to get lost, are we?” I said, trying to hide the fear from my voice.
“Since when were you afraid of being lost?” Simone asked. She was right. When I was younger I would have been the first one to scamper off but something had changed. Somewhere along the way I had grown cautious and lost some of my childhood spark. As we walked on the rest of them chatted while I reflected on what had been lost. When I regained my senses I looked up to see Clara in deep discussion with Kira and I felt jealous again. I wanted her all to myself.
We walked for what seemed like miles and finally the world opened up to a wide expanse of water. The sun rippled along the blue surface and it looked like the light was dancing. We ran to the shore and gazed out at the canoes. Other people were swimming too and we were reminded that we were not alone. The day was warm and the walk had made our bodies prickle with sweat. Before I knew what was happening Clara had pulled off her clothes and was standing on the edge of the shore in just her bra and panties.
I almost fainted.
Everything was there. Everything that was supposed to be hidden in dark bedrooms and secret nights was out in the open for everyone to see. Clara's gorgeous body, flawless skin, tattoos of symbols and foreign languages winding around her waist. Each one a memory. So many memories of a life lived. How old was she again? As old as the earth. She smiled at me and beckoned me into the water. I refused. I shook my head. I retreated into my usual shell. Clara shrugged and then she was gone, leaving only foamy ripple of water. Lisa, Kira, and Simone all went as well, all of them frolicked and now it was too late for me. I had missed my chance. I burned with shame and watched Clara as she splashed about. Her red hair was heavy and matted against her head, her body soaked and glistened as the sun kissed it. How I wished to kiss it and be in that water with her to feel the heat of her body close to mine, to tug at the last remnants of her clothing and make it so that she was completely naked with me, only me.
Instead I turned and made my way back into the dry woods where the trees witnessed my sorrow.
Chapter 6
I was back at camp. I knew they'd all be disappointed in me but the only one I cared about was Clara. I wanted to show her that I was her type of people but I had failed the first two tests. No longer would she look at me as an equal but I was one of those people. The city people. The ones who she had always battled against. The ones who had limited imagination. As if to prove the point I had tried to connect with the outside world via my cell but it was utterly futile and I passed the time by thinking about her. Who else? In some other universe where I was smarter I would have jumped in the lake first and really shown her that I wasn't like she thought, like Lisa had told her, that I was different and could be a free spirit too. We would have danced in the water, and hidden under the surface our limbs would have found each other. While the others swam and played we would be drowning in a world of our own making. We would be finding each other, looking into each other’s eyes as the abyss below housed our secret touches. Each finger would explore a little further. Would push the boundaries. Would she be the aggressor or would I? She was more experienced, I could tell that, and more used to throwing caution to the wind but I wanted it more, I was more hungry, and if given the right encouragement I would go all the way without hesitation.
I imagined the way her soft skin would feel and respond to my touch, and the intensity of the sensations that she would elicit in mine. She was all my fantasies rolled into one, the woman I had been waiting for, the one that made it all worthwhile and yet she was still out of reach, and maybe I was not the one that she was waiting for. Though I found myself burning with excited arousal it was tempered with this bittersweet recrimination and I could not give myself fully to the desire swelling within me, because every time it seemed to unrealistic and I didn't want to torture myself with things that would never be. That could never be.
Before too long they returned. Clara was still dripping wet. I was sitting at the entry to my tent with my hands clasped over my knees. I looked up at her and focused on a single drip that trickled down her leg.
“You missed some good water there,” she said as she grabbed a towel from her own tent and began to vigorously rub herself.
“Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm just, well, it's been a while since I've been swimming.” I offered. I knew it was a lame excuse but it was better than the truth.
“No worries, still got a long way to go this weekend. I'll make a camper out of you yet,” she said, and winked at me. Suddenly my heart was filled with hope and elation seized y soul. I rose and unlike the forlorn figure I had been when they had returned I tried to press them for the next activity, the next adventure. I wanted to show them that I was still the same old Andrea, that I could still be fun, that we could still be rogues just like we were in childhood.
“I'm pretty pooped. I haven't exercised like that for ages! I think it'll be time to get dinner going soon,” Simone said, dashing my hopes. Kira went into her tent and began to read a book. Lisa p
ulled out some notes. Plans for the wedding. Simone and I shared a look. Neither of us had been asked to be bridesmaids and we were wondering if the invitation was ever going to be forthcoming. Clara bent down to the floor and placed her wrists on her knees. She shook the hair away from her face and closed her eyes. I watched in awe, giving her silence as she meditated. I wanted to know what was going on in her head. I wanted to sit beside her and roll through the subconscious haze with her but I knew that it was personal territory and that was a part of her that I'd never be close to.
“I was talking with her, she's single you know,” Simone said. I flushed crimson and walked away from Clara, hoping that we were out of earshot.
“Yeah, like that matters, look at her,” I whispered harshly. Simone shook her head.
“When was the last time you had a date, or, you know, fun of any kind?”
“That's not important,” I said. Simone narrowed her eyes. By ignoring the question I had answered it.
“It's obvious that you like her. You're here for three days. Make the most of it. I love you Andrea, we all do, but loosen up and have some fun,” she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. Then she walked away. Have some fun. If only it were that simple.
Chapter 7
The words echoed through my mind throughout the rest of the day. Did I really stand a chance with her? I'd never been good at making the first move, especially not when they looked as good as Clara. And it had been so long since I'd actually had anything of substance. I tried to relax and focus on enjoying the weekend with my friends. Clara was just a bonus, an enigma, a wild card that was going to do as she pleased.
The night drew in. The moon hung high in the sky, bathing everything in a silvery glow. We lit a fire in the middle of our camp. It crackled and danced and warmed everything. I was entranced by the orange hue. It reminded me of Clara, like she was fire that had come to life. Would I get burned if I got too close? She came down and sat beside me. We were sitting on logs. Parts of me were warmed by the fire; other parts were cold, but when Clara took a seat beside me and her leg touched mine everything went hot at the same time. We passed around meat on a plate and served up rudimentary food. It was hardly gourmet stuff but it had a magical quality to it as well. This was our food and nobody could take that away from us. The fire danced in our eyes. The meat sizzled and it burned the roof of my mouth as I took a bite. I didn't know whether to spit it out or swallow it. In the end I endured the pain and felt it scorch my throat. I imagined it was the same feeling that would come from kissing Clara. She wasn't like a lady at all. This was her place. This was where she belonged and she reveled in it. She tore the meat off the bones like a carnivore. A wild animal. And yet there was something sensual about her as well as she chewed the meat in her mouth. Our eyes met and wickedness flashed in hers. For the first time it was like she was looking at me and only at me. Kira, Simone, and Lisa fell away and there was just the two of us.
They joked and chatted among themselves but it felt like me and Clara were having our own conversation, even though we weren't saying anything. I dropped my paper plate to the floor when I finished with it and when I rose back up I was met by Clara's thumb so close to my mouth that she might as well have put it in there. I wanted to kiss it and suck it.
“You had some food there,” she said, and tended to my messiness with tenderness and understanding. I dipped my head in submissive gratitude and licked my lips, making sure there was nothing else there. But I could still feel her thumb. Our legs were still touching and it seemed perfectly natural. I knew that the moment they were ripped apart it would feel like I had lost one of my own limbs. Clara leaned forward and toasted a marshmallow. She pulled it back and bit half of it, then offered it to me. It was chewy and messy and I could feel its stickiness in my teeth. Clara smiled and showed me the mess in her mouth, like she was inviting me to join it. I mimicked her position and it was like I was young again, playing with the girls, seeing who could be the most disgusting.
We swallowed our marshmallows and continued to look at each other in the flickering light. Both knowing that something was happening. I was scared. Was she? I couldn't imagine so. I wanted the other three to be gone so I could be myself with Clara and show her everything that had been burning inside me since we had first met. Had it only been a matter of hours? It felt as though I had been aware of her for eons. Perhaps we were two souls destined to dance throughout life, twisting and gliding across the floor only to part when the music ended, getting close to being together and then falling apart.
The night stretched endlessly before us and it seemed like the darkness would never end but I knew that it would have to. The light of the sun would rise up and claim this mystical, ethereal feeling from us. I only had limited time. We talked about everything and nothing. I don't even remember what was said I only know that I was enchanted. She said words in her lilting voice. I replied with stumbling words, somehow I managed to say the right things and made her laugh.
She got closer and closer until we were whispering, sharing secrets with each other, creating a world of our own. Before this day we had been strangers and neither of us had known the other had existed yet now we were linked in an extricable way. Our lives would never be the same after this. I knew that for sure. She slipped her hand over my thigh. I nestled more closely to her, dipping my head towards her, giving her a coy look with my wide eyes. My breath was halting and I was so afraid that something would come and interrupt this perfect, blissful moment.
But it didn't.
Chapter 8
Her arm slipped around my waist. I sidled so close to her that I was almost on her lap. I pressed my head into her neck and smelled her fragrance, a mixture of that same fruity perfume that had so overwhelmed me in the car earlier, but now it was mixed in with an earthy smell and a salty smell, but it was all her, and I was intoxicated. My eyes were glassy and hazy. The other girls had gone to bed. I didn't know when. Had they ever been there? The fire was dwindling, turning to embers, soon there would only be ashes left but not of our passion. Not of our...dare I say it...love.
“I'm going to make you do something you've never done before,” she said, and gripped my hand. I looked up at her, resisting like usual, but she gave me a pouting look and I knew that I wasn't going to be able to refuse this invitation. I let myself be pulled up and we ran away into the darkness.
When we emerged by the lake I couldn't believe it. This time there was nobody else around. I gazed out at the beautiful sight of the water before me, then I turned when I heard the sound of clothes being pulled off. Once again Clara was stripping down but this time she wasn't stopping at her underwear. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra. It fell away and my mouth fell down. Her breasts were large, round, pert, and her nipples stuck out, pointing directly at me. She wriggled out of her panties, showing me her most intimate area, baring everything to me and the moon. She sauntered forward and before I knew it we were locked in an embrace. Her blazing lips were locked with mine and her tongue was deep in my throat. Her hands ran around my hair and my back, pulling me into her, using all the tricks she used in her profession to find the tender parts of my body and make the pleasure ooze out, and my flailing arms eventually wrapped around her body. My fingers ran down her naked flesh and I felt goosebumps ripple over the skin. On the balmy night I knew it wasn't the temperature causing these, but my touch. I smiled as I dug my nails into her skin and made her gasp. A hot breath passed between us and she smiled a sultry smile.
She ran her hands down the sides of my body, deliberately not touching my breasts, saving that for later, and took the ends of my top in between her fingers and slowly pulled it over my head. She turned me around and unclasped my bra, then I felt her hands come around my body and play with my breasts, pinching my nipples. My head leaned back against the nape of her neck and my eyes squeezed shut. I felt her breasts press against my back, and then, deeper, her heartbeat thundering against mine. My hands reached up and pulled her hand
down, lower, to my wetness that was on fire, to the place in between my thighs were my entire body cried out in sweet anguish. I felt her smile as she touched my. I almost crumpled in her embrace. Her fingers were inside me and danced around, feeling their way to my sweet spots. It was like she had been making love to me all her life because she knew exactly what to do to drive me crazy. I twisted my head, desperately trying to reach her lips for another fiery kiss but she kept just out of reach.
She slipped the rest of my clothes off and then we were both naked. She turned me around and we kissed madly again. This time my hand found hers and it was my turn to drive her crazy. Our hands worked magic with each other, stroking and teasing each other as the moon shone down upon us, two goddesses in the light of life.
“I had no idea you wanted this,” I said, my doubts now quelled, and my mind seized by a furious lust. I buried myself in her red hair and kissed her neck. We were deep inside each other now, joined and unbroken.
“Lisa told me you were uptight. Thought it'd be a challenge. Glad you made it easy though,” she said, kissing me again, “thought I was done with this. Thought romance was dead.”
“Guess we've given it the kiss of life,” I said, and we were silenced by each other again. Part of me wondered what she meant by that. Who would have broken her heart? I didn't know where she had come from or what her dreams were but there was plenty of time to figure that out. That was something to do in the morning light, when we could reflect on the afterglow of our lovemaking and smile in the glory of the dawn. For now we were lost in the a cocoon of our own making, still writhing together. I felt my body grow weak as it trembled all over. We edged closer to the shore, the grass softer under our feet. I could feel ourselves tumbling down and eventually it happened. We rolled and twisted until she rested on top of me. Her red hair brushed against my body as she kissed my breasts and sucked on my nipples, then moved down, her breath warm and hot on that cool summer's night. I felt her on my inner thighs and then she was inside me again, my own juices mixing with her saliva, my legs tensing and my muscles clenching all through my body. I looked down, sharp moans escaped my throat, rising up from deep inside me in a place where very few had dared to tread. All I saw was a mass of red hair pleasuring me, pleasing me, sending me to another world. Her hands groped at my breasts and my skin and I was hers, all hers.