by Mason, Renea
Marco’s smirk was hard to miss.
“So that’s what they call it these days.”
The doctor held himself tight against my back. And he whispered, “See, she doesn’t even make me hard.” He pressed his pelvis against my back. “But you… Come dance with me.”
“Isn’t that too much touching?”
“There are enough people here to keep everything in check.”
He spun me on the bar stool and grabbed my hand, leading us to the floor. My reluctance slowed our journey.
A white-haired gentleman in a white suit jacket stopped us. “Dr. Vincent.”
“Dr. Monte, it’s good to see you.” The two men gave each other a stiff handshake.
The older man’s curls bounced as he dipped his head. His hand clasped mine and he placed a gentle but wet kiss on the back of it. I wanted to wipe my hand on my dress, but he wouldn’t let go. He stared at me, but his words were intended for Xavier. “Do tell, dear friend, the room has been abuzz wondering who this beauty might be.”
My heart raced waiting for his answer. Would he say colleague? Friend?
He wrapped his arm tighter around my waist. “This is my Elaine.”
The old man’s stare grew unnerving. He kissed my hand again. I tried not to show my shock at Xavier’s words.
“Xavier, you are one lucky man.” He released my hand.
“More so than you know.” They both smiled. “Dr. Monte, if you’ll excuse us, I want to get at least one dance in before I have to speak.”
He gave a slight bow. “Doctor. Elaine.” Dr. Monte turned and Xavier pulled me to the floor.
Once our feet were planted on the dance floor, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. He was so warm, so tall, so…hard. His erection grazed my stomach. I looked up and met his gaze.
His eyes were dark. Not their usual blue. “I told you, she means nothing.”
“If you say so. It’s probably too late to tell you this, but I can’t dance.”
His arm pressed on the small of my back and he lifted our clutched hands.
Hips swayed to the music, causing a delicious friction to build. “You don’t need to know how. Just follow my lead. It’s just like making love. Close your eyes and let your body feel mine.”
The temperature rose six hundred degrees with his comparison. God, he felt so good. The words kept echoing through my head, “My Elaine.” I needed to stop. Nothing good could come of my conventional notions, but he felt so right. The scent of sandalwood and musk filled my nostrils as I laid my head against his hard chest.
The hand on my back rubbed and soothed. He sighed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect. And unlike Roxanne,” he wiggled his hips and rubbed his rock hard cock against my belly, “you have this effect on me, always.” His hand dropped to my hip and rested on the curve of my ass. “God, I wish…”
“You wish what?”
“You don’t know how badly I want to make love to you. To see you wake up in one of my shirts. To roll over and suck on your nipples, while I bury myself inside you. You make me want things that simply aren’t possible. Things I have no business wanting.”
I couldn’t breathe. My mouth grew thick from nervousness.
“Why are you doing this?” Our bodies rubbed together, my nipples hard under the fabric; I wanted him as much as he wanted me. Probably more.
He dipped his head and whispered against my lips, “Because I need you to know how I feel.”
“Why now?”
“Because it’s safe. You’re safe. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you? And I don’t mean a kiss like the one from earlier.” He shivered. “Just kiss you.”
“No.” But I wished he would.
“The moment I first saw you, I wanted you, but I wasn’t ready. Lydia had just passed. I needed to believe that I would never love again…” He broke his gaze and cleared his throat.
What did he just say? Did he say what I think he said?
“Why did you wait so long to contact me?”
He spoke, but he didn’t look me in the eye. “Because I wanted you too much. I can’t do conventional. I’ve never known a normal life and you deserve one. But this burning inside wouldn’t let go. Marco brought us a bottle of cognac one night and suggested I bring you to Paris for a week to get you out of my system.”
“Do you think it’s working?”
He scanned the crowd. “Yes and no. I’m delighted, but it’s agony knowing this time must expire. It’s only fair. I’m broken, Elaine. You deserve a whole man.” He stared into my eyes and I realized we’d stopped dancing. “Speaking of unfair things… I so want to kiss you, but you’d have to answer questions when you get home. A dance you can explain away, but if I kiss you…”
Before I could tell him to damn the consequences, a man in a business suit tapped him on the shoulder and whispered in his ear.
He released our hands, but left his arm around my waist. “Come on, Love. I have to get ready for the speech. You can wait backstage for me if you’d like.”
It wasn’t really a choice since he took my hand and led me through the crowd.
We followed several men in suits down a long hallway and through a set of large double doors. Cords and ropes hung from the rafters and black paint covered the walls.
A tall man, in his early thirties, approached the doctor, and straightened the doctor’s bow tie. “Dr. Vincent. They are eagerly awaiting your announcements. And the protestors are all secured outside. We don’t want a repeat of last time.” He clipped a microphone to the doctor’s lapel.
Xavier straightened his sleeves and adjusted his cufflinks. The man handed him a small cylindrical object with a button on top.
“Just press the button when you are ready to speak. Harry over there…” He pointed to a heavyset man sitting in a glass enclosure. “He’ll monitor the sound and make sure your video displays correctly.”
“Thank you, Nathan. Thorough as always.”
The chill from the air conditioner, the alcohol and my body coming back to earth caused me to shiver. I crossed my arms and stepped out of the way. In the background the audience chatter buzzed through the air.
Xavier turned and took a step toward me. “One last thing.” He bent and placed his lips on mine, gripping my arms.
The shock caused me to stumble and he steadied me and deepened the kiss.
Our lips parted and in that small instant I was no longer cold. His smile only added to the heat that engulfed me. “Wish me luck?”
I smiled back. “Good luck, Doctor.”
“You’ve got to stop calling me that.”
“Why?”
“It puts distance between us.”
“No more than the distance between Paris and New York.”
“Touché.”
Nathan wedged himself between us. “Doctor, you’re on in three.”
“Coming.”
He turned and walked on to the stage. The crowd applauded. Not with the enthusiasm of a rock concert, but rather the appreciation one might experience at a matinee of La Boehme.
He began. “My esteemed colleagues, thank you for coming out tonight…”
A tap on my shoulder pulled my attention from the charismatic man who was bound to be my demise. “Ms. Watkins?”
I turned to see Nathan. “Yes.”
“I am so sorry to bother you, but there is a woman in the hallway requesting to see you.”
“A woman?”
“Yes… She’s ahhh…in a wheel chair.”
That didn’t make sense. The only person I knew in Paris in a wheel chair was Miriam, and she was supposedly ill.
I walked down the corridor in the direction Nathan pointed. When I turned the corner Miriam sat in her chair dressed in the most beautiful beaded gown. Her hair was draped in wispy braids. She was truly beautiful. I couldn’t help but smile.
“Miriam, you look stunning.” I lifted my gaze to the m
an pushing her wheelchair—the undeniably handsome Sebastian. I blushed thinking of things we did earlier.
Her shaky hands reached out for mine. “Sebastian told me everything. Thank you. No need for you to be timid.”
With my hands caught between Miriam’s cold ones I said, “I didn’t know you were going to be here. I’m sorry; I would have looked for you. Sebastian said you were feeling ill. I hope you are feeling better.”
“I am. It’s quite all right. Sebastian spoke with Marco and when he said you were going to attend the fundraiser with Xavier, I asked Sebastian to bring me. I think Sebastian needs to see that I’m really okay with this arrangement.” She caressed his hand and gazed behind her and up at her husband. “I’m not just OK with this, I’m encouraging you. I love you and only want you to be happy.”
He patted her shoulder. “I know. It’s just…” He smiled, but it didn’t hide the pain and awkwardness of the moment.
Miriam returned her sights to me. “Dear Elaine, do try to get him to consider joining you again with the other men. I can already see a difference in him. It’s not good for a man to go so long without intimacy.” She smiled and added, “Plus, surprisingly, I enjoyed hearing what transpired.”
I took a deep breath. Could things get any more bizarre? I struggled to find an appropriate response. I settled for, “I’m sure it will all work out as it’s meant to be.”
“No truer words, my dear. I saw you and Xavier on the dance floor. Speaking of changes…That man loves you.”
I coughed. “No, you’re mistaken. I go back home in a few days. And then, as far as we’re all concerned, none of this happened.”
She laughed. “I’m surprised you could say that with a straight face. Nothing will ever be the same. Not you. Not him. Not us.”
“I’m sorry, but that’s Xavier’s wish…”
“I need you to make me a promise.” She released my hand and reached between her leg and the wheelchair arm.
Making promises to strangers never seemed wise, but what choice did I have?
“Yes. I’ll do my best.”
“Take Sebastian home with you tonight. Make sure that he’s exhausted so that he sleeps late.” She winked and smiled a mischievous smile.
I glanced at Sebastian who stared at the floor. The casualness with which she spoke of Sebastian and I having sex made the strange conversation even more awkward. It was easy to see that he didn’t share her enthusiasm for discussing the topic. Sex with Sebastian would have been easier if Miriam and I had never met.
“And second, Xavier can’t know anything about this.” She handed me a small envelope. “Elaine, have you ever loved someone so much that no matter how wrong they were, your loyalty made you blind?”
I had. My father. I’d defended him long after the investigation pointed to his guilt. Denial, the therapist said, was common among children of serial killers. “Yes. I know the feeling quite well.”
“Did you ever come to terms with it? It’s one thing to accept someone else’s actions, but to realize you’ve lied to yourself…”
Years after his arrest, pieces to the puzzle started to come together. The late nights. His fetish for impeccably clean garden tools. The strange stack of mail I found hidden in his bedroom. I stayed quiet, never voicing my suspicions out loud. The notion that the signs were there all along, but hidden until just in time for his trial, made me sick. Twelve life-sentences. With a new one to be added annually, with each new victim he revealed. “Yes, I’ve done that too.”
“Here.” She handed me the paper. “I loved Lydia like a sister. More than a sister. I promised her that her secrets would go to her grave, but I saw him with you tonight and… He is a good man. Loyalty can sometimes make idiots of us all.” She sighed. “Well…do with it what you want. I’m sorry to put such a burden on you, but I can’t risk that it die with me.”
Sebastian clutched her shoulder. She reached up and grasped his broad, masculine hand with her shaky one.
I looked at Sebastian, pleading with my eyes for clarification.
He shrugged. “I wish I could help, but she hasn’t even told me what this is all about.”
Miriam placed her hand back on her wheelchair control. “I hope you love him as much as I think you do.” Sebastian moved out of her way and she put the chair in reverse.
“Who? Xavier?”
“Darling, it’s called denial. You’ll be angry for not realizing it yourself, but one day soon, you’ll be the woman he always needed. Please, don’t make a fool of me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
She turned her chair so that she faced away from me. Sebastian shot me a sympathetic smile and turned to follow her. Her words echoed off the marble. “It never is when it’s love. Sebastian will catch up with you after he fetches the driver to take me home. Don’t forget what I said.”
I stood holding the small envelope, still trying to process what had happened, as the hum of her wheelchair faded.
Patience was never my virtue, but it wasn’t the right time to look.
****
Applause echoed through the doors into the auditorium from the hall behind me. The note could wait. I couldn’t squash the anticipation I had for seeing the doctor. The turn of events behind stage had my head buzzing. Where would it go? Could it be more? Did he have to be only a memory after this week? Dangerous, dangerous thoughts. I headed for the doors.
Before I reached them, Xavier emerged, his smile brighter than I had ever seen. He grabbed my hand and said, “Come with me.”
His demeanor was so different than the norm. Perhaps the crowd energized him. He all but skipped, dragging me down the long hallway away from the crowd. He turned the corner and pressed my back into the wall. He engulfed my body with his. “God… Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
He didn’t let me answer. He crushed his mouth to mine. So warm. So alive. His lips played with mine while his body rubbed against me. His hips gyrated, pushing his swollen cock against my stomach. His lips trailed across my chin and down, until settling at the base of my throat—sucking and kissing. “I shouldn’t let this happen. If you weren’t leaving soon this would be dangerous, but as long as we are surrounded by people, we’re safe.”
Fire. I was on fire. I was too distracted by his heat and tenacity to ask what he meant.
“In another life, Elaine, you’d be mine. I’d never let you go. It’s scary to think of what you make me feel and it’s only been a few days.” His teeth grazed my neck and his hand grabbed my breast and squeezed. His actions grew more frantic by the moment. I wasn’t certain that we weren’t going to end up fucking in the hallway.
“Why another life?”
His breathing labored and the spice of his cologne intoxicated me. He slid his tongue up my throat and nipped my ear before saying, “Because I can’t give you what you need. I’m broken. I should have left you alone, but I can’t.”
“You’re not broken, Doctor. You’re a puzzle. Let me put you back together.” It was time to push. Untie another one of his strings. I reached down and cupped him through his pants.
His body stiffened. He paused then locked gazes with me. “You don’t know what you’re asking. Besides, I’m afraid some of my pieces are missing.”
“I’m a pretty good artist. I can draw you new ones.” I squeezed his cock.
“Murderer!” A voice bellowed from behind me.
I released him. He turned, shielding my body with his. I leaned to one side to look. A woman, who looked to be in her late thirties, clutched a knife and approached us from the direction of the exit.
Xavier backed up, pinning me against the wall. “Annie, be reasonable. Security will be here soon. Put down the knife. How did you get through?”
“Shut it.” She poked the knife in our direction. “You have to pay for what you did.” She shifted weight from one foot to the other and her mousy brown hair fell into her face.
“I have. Just not in a conventional way.”
“Annie, I paid your family generously. You spent it on drugs. That isn’t my fault.” He grasped my hand.
“You killed her. You should be in jail.”
“Maybe so. But that wasn’t my choice.”
Tears ran down her face.
“I wish you could find peace.”
“Fuck you.” She coughed gasping for air. The wheezing sounded painful.
“You’re ill, Annie. Let me have my driver take you to the hospital.”
“I don’t want your fucking charity.” She sniffled and stared at me. “He’s going to kill you too. Just like my sister.”
He squeezed my hand.
“Put down the knife,” called out a security guard. Several burly men rushed in from the direction of the stage and surrounded her.
Her shoulders slumped forward and she dropped the knife.
She looked up from between the long strands of her stringy hair. “You ruined me. I fucking hate you.”
“Annie, get clean. For the past twenty-plus-years we’ve been through this. I keep atoning. I can’t bring her back. But you can save yourself. I can’t do that for you.”
Two security officers grabbed her by the arms and pinned her against the wall. She didn’t resist, but continued to spew hateful words at the doctor.
Two officers who looked to be with the Paris police approached us. Xavier turned and wrapped his arms around me. “I’m so sorry. I never expected that to happen.”
One of the officers spoke with Xavier in French, but he didn’t release me.
“What did they say?”
“They asked if I wanted to press charges.”
I rubbed his back, trying to sooth him. “And?”
He sighed. “No. I never do.”
The sound of shoes tapping marble filled the hallway as they escorted Annie away.
Xavier released me and took a deep breath. “I’ll call Pierre and have him take you home.”
“If that’s what you want.” It wasn’t what I wanted.
“It’s not, but it’s only fair.”
I laughed, but the sound held a sarcastic edge. “See, I think fair would be you explaining what just happened, but to you sending me away is fair. Shutting me out every time things get uncomfortable, like how you left before I even dressed this afternoon. Or the best yet…making me believe you care when it’s all just a game. If that’s fair, and I stupidly allowed myself to forget the rules, then you’ll have to excuse me.” I turned and walked away from him.