by Pamela Fryer
“Do I know anyone else with red hair?”
“And a black Labrador,” Geoffrey added.
Colin’s gaze flicked over him. “When we were in high school, Sonja had a black Lab named Rocky.”
Emily was even more confused. “This doesn’t make any sense. Who was in the alley?”
Geoffrey swiveled toward her and took her hand. “Are you sure you saw a woman?”
She didn’t answer. She wasn’t sure of anything, anymore.
He looked over his shoulder. “Gran, when did you last see Stinky Stan?”
“Who?” Emily asked shrilly.
“He’s a transient who hangs around here,” Millie told her. “I give him leftovers from the kitchen, so sometimes he sleeps in the alley. He’s never bothered anyone, so I let him be.”
Geoffrey faced her. “Are you sure it wasn’t a man you saw in the alley? Mike was thinking—”
She shot to her feet. “He thinks I’m crazy. He didn’t believe me that there was someone in the house, and now he thinks I saw a bum in the alley.”
“You’ve suffered a very traumatic experience. If you did fight with this Sonja girl that night, it’s possible your mind is conjuring a threat to compensate.”
“Now you sound like Dr. Lohman.”
“I believe you saw something,” Geoffrey said quickly. “But even you said you only saw a shape.”
“I heard a woman curse.”
“Maybe he was headed up the alley, and you startled him when you knocked the boxes over,” Gran Millie offered. “He does have sort of a high-pitched, raspy voice.”
Colin stepped close and slipped his arms around her. “It doesn’t matter. You’re safe now. It’s all over. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Emily didn’t know how to put into words what she needed to say. No matter how gentle she was, she knew Geoffrey would be hurt.
A long moment’s silence passed as they all waited for her. Like entrants in a contest waiting to see who won, it seemed they all held their breath in anticipation.
“I need to see my parents,” she finally said. “Colin, where is my car?”
Geoffrey glanced away. A sharp strike beat in her chest.
Colin smiled, obviously feeling like he was the winner. “At their house in Palos Verdes, with what’s left of your stuff.”
Emily realized the magnitude of what her family and friends must have gone through over the last month. “What about the house in Seaport?”
“It’s empty. Your parents put it back on the market.”
She should have expected as much. It was still technically their house; she had only been renting it. But the idea of her things being sold, or donated, broke her heart. That was her life, and as foreign as it still felt, now it was nothing more than garage-sale remnants. She swallowed, forcing the thought away. Why did she suddenly feel depressed, as if a great event had just come to an end?
Because I’ve realized that my life isn’t here, but it isn’t there anymore, either.
She took a deep breath. Wherever she chose it to be, her life needed to be rebuilt. She could survive. She wouldn’t let this thing beat her.
She glanced back at Geoffrey. He stood quietly beside his grandmother, eyes downcast.
“Gran Millie, I know I only started here, but I’d like to keep my job.”
Millie’s expression brightened. “Of course. Customers adore you.”
“What about your job at Northwest?” Colin interjected.
She turned back to face him. His expression had turned almost as forlorn as Geoffrey’s. “I can hardly sail with a broken arm. Besides, I don’t remember sailing.”
His eyes grew wide. “Nothing? Jesus, Emily. You hold a captain’s rating.”
She shook her head. “Not a thing.”
“But you live in Astoria.”
She couldn’t do this, not now. She took a breath, gathering her resolve. “I need to speak to Geoffrey alone. Could you wait outside at the car?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He threw an uneasy glance at Geoffrey and Gran Millie, and then turned and headed out.
Sensing their need to be alone, Millie gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the forehead. “I’m here when you need me, honey pie.” She then hurried away, subtly wiping the corner of her eye.
Emily took Geoffrey’s hand. His was limp; he didn’t squeeze her fingers as he always did.
“Geoffrey—”
He forced a smile. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.”
“Yes, I do.”
This wasn’t fair! Was she being punished? Whoever said “it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” had never had to choose between two men.
Her heart swelled with love and it took every ounce of strength she had to prepare to walk out the door.
“You said you didn’t want an answer until I remembered my past.”
He glanced at her hand where his mother’s ring still adorned her finger.
“I still don’t have an answer for you.” The first sting of tears burned. She blinked them away. “But I meant what I said. I love you, Geoffrey. Nothing will ever change that.”
Now his fingers did squeeze. “I know.”
“I have to see my parents, or I wouldn’t leave at all.”
He only nodded.
“I’ll be back in a couple of days.”
He slipped his hand around her neck and pulled her close. Emily met his lips eagerly, drinking in his kiss like a lifesaving elixir. His tender touch renewed her strength and filled her with hope.
He kept his eyes closed for a few seconds, as if savoring a last taste of her.
“Be careful. I believe you about the woman in the alley.” He mustered a thin smile. “As much as I hate to say this...” His gaze flicked past her to the window. “Don’t go anywhere alone.”
She held his hand as they moved apart. “Don’t worry. I’m not taking any chances.” Finally, with arms outstretched, she had to release him.
A seizure of pain filled her chest as she walked toward the door. She wanted to turn around, to take a last look at this man she had come to love so dearly, but she knew it would be her undoing. Instead, she concentrated on what she knew she had to do next.
* * *
With a heart turned to solid stone, Geoffrey watched her leave the building.
Leave him.
That man, Colin Ridgley—her fiancé—stood outside looking through the window. When Emily stepped through the door, he pulled her under his arm.
That quickly, she was gone.
Gran Millie reached up and put a hand on his shoulder.
“You okay there, sport?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’m destined to lose.”
She rubbed a circle on his back, like she used to do when he was little. “Don’t say that. No use anticipating the worst.”
He turned and faced his grandmother.
She smiled wanly. “I’ve got a feeling about her. She’s special, that one.”
As if he didn’t know that better than Gran did.
His grandmother gave his hand a pat. “She’ll be back.”
Inside, he wasn’t so sure. But it wasn’t himself he was worried about; it was Emily.
“I just let the woman I love walk out of here with the person who very well may have pushed her overboard.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Colin took her under his arm and buried his nose in her hair as they walked to his Jeep. “I still almost can’t believe it.” He breathed deep and sighed a hot breath against her neck. “I never gave up on you.”
She laughed. There was something wonderful about being near him, remembering him. They had a lifetime of memories together she was eager to reclaim as her memories. Memories someone had tried to take away from her.
He was like a book she’d read a long time ago. Opening the cover again would refresh her memory of the story within.
Still, she cou
ldn’t escape the uneasy feeling things were not as perfect as they should be. “Let me drive. You’re distracted.”
“Sure. That way I can stare at you the whole way back.”
He handed her the keys and jogged around to the passenger side. In the back of her mind she knew if it were Geoffrey, he would have opened the door for her. They were two very different men, she realized. It only made her situation harder.
She started the Jeep and pulled onto the narrow highway. As her memory started slipping back, like a trickle of water slowly filling a bucket, she suddenly remembered Newport. Not what she knew of it now, but having visited it once before. They’d sailed into Copper Marina on the other side of the inlet. Still, though she remembered coming in on the boat, she didn’t remember anything about operating it.
“My father is going to drop ten years when he sees you.”
She couldn’t wait to see him, too. Since the seventh grade, when her family’s financial problems began and her father started drinking, Graham had been like her surrogate parent.
“You never told me who was on board that day.” She could feel him watching her as she drove. She hoped she didn’t sound too suspicious.
“You don’t really think someone has been trying to kill you, do you?” When she didn’t answer, he went on. “Well, Sonja, as you know. Tim, Sean, Will, Joseph, Chelsie, Jessica, me, my father...the passengers from the charter that day, but they were seasick as hell, puking their guts up below.”
She tried to picture their friends. The only one who would come to mind was Graham.
“And Sonja has red hair?”
“You don’t remember them at all?” He slid his hand over her thigh as he slipped closer on his seat. “Don’t worry. It will all come back to you when you see them.”
“I meant what I said, Colin. You can’t tell anyone else about me until I say it’s okay. I’m visiting my parents, then I’m coming back to Newport.”
“Maybe after you see them, you won’t want to.”
It was pointless going round and round with him about it. A peculiar ache started in her stomach and grew stronger as they left town and merged onto the main highway north.
“Be straight with me.” She used her firm voice. “Did we break up?”
He leaned away. “No. No way.”
“Then why did I take off my ring?”
Colin pushed back into his seat. He glanced out his own window, avoiding her gaze. Another familiar trait of his.
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t. You didn’t take it off in front of me.” After a moment’s silence, he added, “Are you asking because of that guy?”
“Geoffrey.”
“Whatever.” From the corner of her eye, she could see him gritting his teeth, as though saying Geoffrey’s name tasted bad. “I saw him kiss you.”
The need to defend herself sat sourly. “He and I have become very close.” After she’d said it, she wished she hadn’t. He had no right to intrude.
Something had happened between them that Colin wasn’t telling her; she could feel it.
“How close?” Colin demanded. “Did you sleep with him?”
She scowled at him before quickly turning her eyes back to the road. “No.”
“What really happened to your arm?”
She supposed that question was fair. “The night of the storm, I walked in front of a car.”
“His car.”
“Yes, his car,” she snapped. “He took me to the hospital and paid my medical bills.”
“And you’ve been with him this entire time?” This time when Colin spoke, there was so much hurt in his voice she couldn’t hold onto her irritation, even though she had the inescapable feeling she was angry with him for something she didn’t yet remember.
“He’s been very generous. You should be grateful.”
“Of course he was,” Colin drawled. “He wanted a piece of ass.”
“Colin!”
“Emily, look at yourself in the mirror sometime. You’re gorgeous. What man wouldn’t want to take you home? He was probably trying to keep you from remembering.”
“He would never do that.” Her anger mounted. He was out of bounds with accusations like that. She tried to imagine how he felt, and remembered he’d always had a jealous streak. Still, he was pushing her buttons the wrong way.
“You heard him,” Colin continued. “He found the missing person’s report this morning, but he didn’t say anything.”
She pulled the Jeep to a stop behind a line of traffic at the last stoplight before Highway 1’s speed limit increased.
“Colin, listen. He was a perfect gentleman the whole time and he only acted in my best interests. It was either stay with him, or in a women’s shelter.”
He shifted closer again. “I suppose that was better than staying at a shelter.” He forced his voice to remain low, but he still wore a scowl. “Remind me to send him a thank-you note, or something,” he finished in a sarcastic tone.
Emily glanced sideways. “How did you find me?”
Maybe knowing how he found her would help her discover how her attacker had found her, too.
“I saw your lifejacket on a boat in Freeport yesterday. They told me they found it on the jetty across from that restaurant.”
Yesterday. Whoever had been following her, they’d found her long before that.
“Was anyone helping you look for me?”
“Chelsie, Sean, Tim, and Joe. They all were, for a while. Then everyone started to think I was crazy and I should accept that you were gone. Everyone went to your funeral except me.”
She glanced at him, somewhat surprised. “You didn’t go to my funeral?”
He shook his head. “I knew you weren’t dead. I could feel you, alive.” He put his hand over his heart. “In here.”
Heat bloomed in her middle and a whole new rush of tears stung her eyes. “You never gave up on me.”
“I told you that. I love you. I could never give up on you.”
Her throat choked up and she could only manage a whisper. “I love you too, Colin.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Colin flipped open his phone. He glanced at her as he spoke to his father. “Can you meet me at the Atkinson’s new house in about a half hour?”
She heard Graham’s voice buzzing through the earpiece. She couldn’t wait to see him, and her parents, and the looks on their faces when they saw her.
“Just meet me there. Dad, relax. You gotta trust me. Do you remember how to find it?”
She merged left, preparing to take the exit toward Palos Verdes. So far, she remembered where she was going.
“I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. All right, see you.” He flipped the phone shut. He slid closer on the seat and nuzzled her. “I would rather go to a hotel. I need to touch you.”
She wanted to touch him, too. To close her eyes, let herself be drawn into his embrace, try to forget all this had happened. She was sure, broken arm aside, she would almost be able to imagine the last three weeks had never happened.
But she couldn’t do that. She didn’t want to forget Geoffrey. An unbearable ache had been twisting in her gut since leaving Newport. Since leaving him.
Her life with Colin had been set. She had her job, her engagement, her future. Now she had Geoffrey to consider too. Life with him and his wonderful family had been joyous and right.
But now she recognized a new feeling, or rather a memory, that she’d wanted to break free of the old life, where everything had been decided for her. Of course, not in such a drastic way, but deep inside Emily knew she’d been yearning to make her own choices.
Was that why she’d refused to set a date for the wedding for so long? So many parts of her past were still ungraspable, and now it was even more frustrating that she could see shapes and shadows but not be able to make them out clearly.
“I need some time,” she said simply. “A lot’s happened, and I still don’t remember everything.”
“I don�
��t understand it, but I’ll give you all the time you need.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him. “Okay, don’t tell me. Right up here at...Thorndike?”
The sky had gone from dusky purple to rich sapphire sprinkled with diamond chips. They pulled down the long gravel road through the pine trees leading to her parents’ tiny woodland home. The windows glowed with golden light.
Her red Prelude with its dented door and cracked windshield sat in the driveway. Familiarity swelled through her with pleasing warmth. Cherry Pit, she jokingly called the car. Her parents’ Oldsmobile sedan was parked in front of the garage door.
She stopped the Jeep beside Graham’s pickup at the back of the circular drive and turned it off.
The front door opened and Graham came out, followed by her parents. When they saw her slip out of the front seat, her mother cried out and covered her mouth.
Graham froze, and then ran toward her. “I don’t believe it!” He stopped only for an instant to hold her at arm’s length, and then hauled her into a hug. He stepped back again, staring at her as though he still couldn’t believe his eyes.
“Hi, Graham.”
Her mother ran up and threw her arms around Emily. “My baby!” She rocked back and forth, sobbing.
“Mom.” Her mother’s familiar scent and the scratchy apron she never took off brought memories flooding back.
She heard her father’s slow steps and the crunch of his cane spearing the gravel. She turned from her mother and approached him, giving a tentative hug. Emily realized the bad memories were as vivid as the good. She leaned back and smiled.
All at once, all three fired questions and exclamations.
“Now, now, everyone, let her come inside,” Colin said. He never strayed more than a few feet from her side. “We’ve been on the road for three hours.”
They sat her down in the front room. Her mother blotted her eyes with a tissue and passed the box around.
“Did I tell you?” Colin asked his father. “I knew she wasn’t dead.”
Graham swiped at his eye with a thumb. “You certainly did. I’m sorry I doubted you. I’m sorry, Emily.”