“Where were you hiding?” He shoved his hand into his pocket and gave her a heart-melting grin.
“Oh, nothing, I, um, sorry. Coffee?” Emmeline stared at her shoes, avoiding eye contact, and she tried to figure if there was any courage in her jelly-like spine.
“Yes, please?” he said, sounding a little confused.
“Yes coffee, no tart.”
“Are you calling me a tart again?” He laughed weirdly. “What’s wrong?”
“Listen,” she started. This is not going as planned! “We do this all the time, we talk, we talk about coffee, how about we just go ahead and do it?”
His eyes widened.
“I mean, not it, it—oh crap! I meant…” She buried her head in her hands.
“Yes…” He was clearly enjoying her discomfort.
“A date!” she finally managed to blurted out.
“You want to go out on a date with me?” he asked. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I mean, I think so?” Emmeline was dying inside, she was so embarrassed. If only she could have a do-over.
“So, you think you want to go out with me?” He was flat out laughing.
“Put me out of my misery, please,” Emmeline begged, her cheeks burning.
“How about this?” he said, that cocky smile plastered permanently on his face.
“What?”
“Miss Emmeline, queen of the chocolate chip cookies, will you please go out on a date with me?”
“Yes!”
By this time, she was starting to laugh as well. Thank goodness someone knew what they were doing. She wanted to crawl into a hole, but at least she got a date. It wasn’t pretty, but a date was a date.
She gave him her number and crossed her fingers. He called later that day, and they ended up talking for an hour, much less awkwardly on Emmeline’s part especially. It helped that she wasn’t quite as nervous.
They decided to meet that Friday. Emmeline made sure that he knew that she had a kid, and that she would have to wait until Millie was asleep before she could go out. She didn’t want to explain to Millie where she was going and what she was doing. It was really important that if she did start dating again, Millie wouldn’t be exposed to any dud dates. Ideally, Millie would never know Emmeline was going out until she felt like this was a serious thing. She had seen too many kids getting attached to their parents’ new love interest and then having to be separated from them. It wasn’t fair and that just wasn’t going to happen. Emmeline might want a life beyond that of Mom, but Millie didn’t have to know about it. Besides, one date—it could be a disaster.
By the time Friday hit, Pernella was full-out pushy for Emmeline to leave.
“I can’t help but feel like you’re trying to kick me out of the house,” Emmeline said, eyeing Pernella suspiciously.
“Sweetie, that’s because I am. Only old people get cooped up in this house.”
“Listen, I’ve been fine on my own all this time. There is no rush to go out on this date.”
“Only if you call playing hide and seek with the world fine.”
Emmeline rolled her eyes. Over the years Pernella had constantly pointed out new guys that she thought would be potentially a perfect match for her, and she was much relieved that Emmeline had finally picked one out for herself. Pernella was so excited, she went through her own closet, pulled out a tight black skirt that would barely cover her bum and encouraged Emmeline to wear it.
“Seriously, I can’t wear this. It’s not even decent,” Emmeline said, holding the skirt up to her body. “And where did you even get that?”
“But sweetie, if you wear this he won’t be able to keep his hands off you,” Pernella said, ignoring the question.
“Then I’m definably not going to wear it! Listen, the last time I wasn’t careful I ended up seventeen and knocked up. I would like to take this slow.”
“Like a freakin’ turtle!” Pernella chastised her.
“Ha, ha, very funny,” Emmeline said dryly. “Listen, I don’t see you out there.”
“I don’t need to be out there. I have everything that I’ve ever wanted right here. My life was simply the kind that didn’t require a man. I’m that sort of person.”
“Maybe that’s my life too?”
“You want this, you want a family, and there is no way you can deny it. I know you shut down, but Emmeline, it’s been years. And you’re still what, twelve?”
“Ha, ha, I’m twenty-three. But frankly, I feel somewhere around forty.”
“Now that is something we need to correct, and perhaps that is something this Sugar Boy Joel can fix.”
“You’re putting a heck of a lot of pressure on one little date, and I’m already nervous.”
“There won’t be a date unless you go upstairs and get ready.”
“Crap, where does the time go?” She scrambled up the stairs, and threw on a pair of jeans rolled up at the cuff, a black layered tank with embellishments around the scoop neck that complemented her cleavage, and a jacket. She had been so nervous about what to wear that she had Googled it, but as it turned out there were so many ideas of the ideal date clothing that she gave up and decided to put on what she was comfortable in. Besides, it wasn’t like she could go out and buy something new. She was just happy she had something that wasn’t covered in glue or apple sauce. Total win.
She checked on Millie, who was fast asleep, curled up with her blae-blae, the blanket that she always slept with at night. Satisfied that Millie was okay, she threw on a pair of heels, the ones she bought ages ago just in case she went someplace that required something more dressed up than her purple Converse running shoes. She still hadn’t broken them in, and hoped she wouldn’t regret wearing them. They were cute. She looked around the room. Everything was just fine, and there was unfortunately nothing else she could do to stall. Her nerves were starting to play havoc on her stomach.
Deep down, she hoped that she would be enough just as she was. She always felt like that with Nicholas, and on her own she was fine, but now that she was starting to date again, all those insecurities seemed to rear their ugly heads. Mental note, she said to herself, don’t think about Nicholas. She didn’t have a lot of experience dating, but she was pretty sure there was a serious rule against talking about your dead boyfriend on a first date.
Blah!
The idea that she was betraying Nicholas arose in her mind. She tried to push it aside, knowing that she wasn’t doing anything wrong. She did one more look in the mirror and fluffed up her hair. This was it. Time to go.
“Bye, Pernella,” Emmeline said, going out the door.
“Wait, isn’t he going to pick you up?” Pernella called back.
“No!” she exclaimed. “I figured if this guy turns out to be a psychopath the last thing I need is to let him know where I live!”
She jumped into her car and headed in the direction of the restaurant. They had decided on a Chinese restaurant, and he had suggested one not that far from the bakery. He insisted it was the best in town, and was surprised that she hadn’t been there. Emmeline had explained that once she discovered how much she loved cooking, she didn’t often see the point of going out. Besides, it was an expense she couldn’t always afford. If she made it herself, then she could guarantee that it came out just the way she liked. It occurred to her that as she grew up she was becoming more of a control freak. Hopefully Joel wouldn’t mind that either. She repeated his name over and over, letting his name roll off her lips, trying to make it sound natural.
“Hello Joel,” she said, with a forced sultriness.
“Hello, Joel,” she tried again, trying to make it sound natural. She shook her head and wondered what kind of disastrous thing was going to come out of her mouth. It was sure to be epic, if past history was any example.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Emmeline could see Joel waiting for her outside the restaurant when she pulled into the parking lot. She checked the clock; she wasn’t late, he was early. Impressive, since he said that
he was regularly late for his boss. This was a good sign.
She parked the car and walked around to meet him with butterflies in her stomach. Joel sat on the edge of a long granite planter that ran the length the restaurant. She was so nervous, she mostly wanted to run away. She tried to remember what she felt like when she first met Nicholas, but frankly, it hardly counted. They were in high school and they saw each other in the hall. This, she realized, was her first date!
“Crap!” she accidentally said out loud. She hadn’t thought about that before.
“Emmeline!” Joel said, with that grin on his face. Soft lights shone up from the planter, hit his face, and made it practically glow.
I am totally out of my league here! she thought.
Joel kissed her on the cheek as he greeted her, and as they were shown to their seats she managed to make polite talk without saying something stupid, which seemed like a miracle. Emmeline tried to take in her surroundings. She wanted to remember every moment of this night, in case this really was the start of something special. The restaurant was decorated in red, with paper lanterns that hung down with golden tassels. Lacquer work decorated the walls, which were painted a decidedly beige color. The chairs were black, padded with thick cushions, and the tablecloths were a soft amber.
The server handed them a menu each, and they took a few minutes to order. The food came quickly, and he was right, it was really good. It was a shame that she had never been there before. She had totally been missing out.
The evening went by fast, like eating ice cream on a hot day, leaving her wanting more. Emmeline felt like she was in a dream.
If this was what dating is like, sign me up!
When dinner was over, the waiter brought them the bill, which Joel quickly grabbed, leaving no time for Emmeline to even offer. Emmeline took the fortune cookies left behind with the bill and hid them behind her back.
“You have to pick one,” she said.
“Is this some sort of cookie tradition that I’m unaware of?”
“Nah, just what I do. Pick a hand.”
“The left one.”
She handed him the cookie in her left and then pulled the crinkly wrapper off her own. Cracking the cookie in two, she pulled the slip of paper out. She watched as Joel did the same.
“You ready?” she asked. “Read yours first.”
“Food can be sweet and sour, so can your mood,” he read. “So what do you think? Am I sweet or sour?”
Emmeline blushed and squeaked out, “Sweet.” Confidence up, girl, she chastised herself.
“What does yours say?”
“The love you seek is within your reach.” She paused briefly, and then added, “Apparently, the cookie thinks we’re having a good date.”
“That we are,” he answered. There was a brief silence, and then he said, “You know, the best thing about these cookies are the fortunes. They actually taste terrible.”
Emmeline crunched loudly. “Yeah, I know, I don’t know why I always eat them. I think it just doesn’t seem like the meal is complete without them.”
“When in Rome,” he said, and he shoved the dry cookie half into his mouth.
He paid the bill and then walked her to the car, slowly. Emmeline wanted to make the steps last as long as possible. She was on cloud nine. The butterflies in her stomach were gone, and she mostly felt like she was floating.
She really liked him. It wasn’t just that he was easy on the eyes—that was an understatement—but he was interesting. A food blogger for a travel company, he worked from home, and only went into the office from time to time. He had been everywhere. He usually was gone at least three months a year, reviewing restaurants, trying new local cuisine, and then he would come back and write for the rest of the year. It all sounded so glamorous. Before Millie, Emmeline always imagined that she would travel, maybe after college or something, but she never gave it much thought. It was always something way off, not really true. She had been so focused on her friends or passing her exams. Here was someone who had traveled the world, saw things that she could only imagine, things she hadn’t even thought of. For a moment, her world seemed so small. Not that she didn’t love her life. She loved Millie more than anything, but he was opening her eyes to a world of possibilities, and it was exciting.
She clicked the button and unlocked the car, Nicholas’s car. After all these years, it was starting to show its age, but it was fun to drive the little sports car. She leaned against the door, reached out, and grabbed his hand. He squeezed it slightly and moved in close. He smelled like spruce and vanilla and something else deeply masculine that made her want to suck it all in. Her heart beat fast, and she took a deep breath.
He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. She opened her mouth slightly, and he deepened the kiss as she melted into his arms. A few seconds later he backed off, resting his forehead on hers. She felt the electricity of it shock her body back into life. No wonder she was drawn to him the moment she first saw him. This was seriously real. She wanted him to kiss her again, badly. She held on tighter to his hand and smiled shyly, looking at the ground. She knew she’d have to leave—the idea was to take things slowly, and she could see herself jumping in with two feet. Totally opposite to everything that she had promised herself in the days leading up to the date. So far she hadn’t broken any of her resolves, and yet the temptation was great.
“I should probably go,” she said, and bit her lip. “But I won’t, so you can kiss me more.” Her cheeks burned in embarrassment and pleasure at her boldness.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice husky and deep.
Emmeline’s insides turned to goo, and he took her into his arms again. He kissed so intently she could have forgotten her name, forgotten completely who she was. His touch, his lips, his tongue, immediately knew her. Grappling to keep her head, she pulled back.
“I, um,” she said, stumbling to gain control of her thoughts, “should get home. Millie, um, still wakes up in the middle of the night.”
“I guess you better go, then.” He pressed his body into hers and nibbled on her ear for an earth-shattering moment before whispering, “I’ll call you.”
She nodded and fumbled around for the door handle until she could lift it up. Joel stepped back and opened the door the rest of the way, and Emmeline got in, regretfully.
He watched her drive away. As soon as she was well out of Joel’s sight, she started screaming. “Oh. My. Goodness! I can’t believe this is happening! Oh my goodness!” She was grateful that no one could hear her.
She got home and found Pernella fast asleep on the couch, with some sort of horror flick on the TV. There were zombies munching on half a dead chick’s face.
“Yuck,” said Emmeline. Pernella never chose the sweet movies. She put a blanket over her and then went upstairs and checked on Millie. She had got up at some point and was now curled in one of Pernella’s oversized suitcases from the seventies on the floor of her room, with her blae-blae covering her. All of her dolls and stuffies were in another suitcase beside her.
Why a suitcase? Emmeline wondered. That girl had a mind of her own. She pulled the covers down on her bed and picked up Millie, who hardly stirred, and tucked her in with blae-blae. She covered her and kissed her on the forehead.
She left for her own room, excited and exhausted. The entire experience was so overwhelming, and unbelievably perfect. How could anything go wrong?
Emmeline settled into a hot bath, then fell asleep dreaming of honey sweet kisses.
Chapter Twenty-Five
The next morning, while Emmeline was making Millie’s breakfast, she was blasted with questions and some not-so-subtle teases from Pernella, who begged for juicy details that Emmeline was reluctant to give. It was still too new, too fresh. She was still trying to make sense of it all herself. Millie looked thoroughly confused, especially as her mother’s phone kept buzzing with texts from Ginny asking the same questions.
“What is going on, Mom?” she demanded.
“Nothing sweetie, eat your oatmeal,” Emmeline said, placing the breakfast bowl in front of Millie. She turned and gave Pernella the stink eye. Pernella responded by snorting, then popped her headphones back on and continued working on her painting, a self-portrait that she had already named Glorious Being. Emmeline hoped that would be the end of it from both of them. Besides, she didn’t want to jinx it. It had been a great night, so much better than what she had expected. She had floated home on a cloud, and she really hoped that this was something real, but there was always that possibility that he would never call back.
Sadly, Emmeline returned to the pile of bills on the kitchen table. She hated the middle of the month when they all came in, and this morning of all mornings she didn’t feel like dealing with any of them. If only they could all go poof! She thought of the merits of having a golden genie. Callum had finally taken over his parents’ antique store back in Port Hope; perhaps he had one lying around he could lend her to fulfill a couple of wishes.
“I don’t know how you can say nothing when your stupid phone keeps buzzing like it’s on fire. Who is it anyway?” asked Millie.
“It’s just Auntie Ginny. Now can we all talk about something else?” Emmeline growled.
“Seriously, you’re not going to tell me? Is it about my next birthday?”
Her next birthday was so far away now it was hardly worth mentioning. They had Millie’s movie night marathon not that long ago. Emmeline shook her head. Seven-year-olds, especially smart ones, weren’t easy to distract. They knew for sure when you were keeping something from them. Long gone were the days when she could distract her with a cookie. “I went out and had dinner with a friend, you know, sometimes mommies like to do that. Nothing more.”
Millie looked down at her breakfast, unimpressed.
“Mommy,” said Millie very firmly, “I have an announcement. Last night I decided what I am going to be when I grow up.”
“Really?” This was a first. In Emmeline’s dreams, she was hoping that Millie would decide on something like a chiropractor or ophthalmologist. Millie was smart, sometimes startlingly so. Her teachers were already asking to have her tested for the gifted program. Emmeline held them back, not sure that a label of “super smart” was the best thing for her daughter. Still, Millie was an exact type of kid, and never made proclamations without backing them up. If she said she wanted to be something, she meant it. Emmeline was extremely curious what this little body in front of her was dreaming about.
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