“This looks great, but I don’t see why it all won’t wait until we get back. Come with me now, and you can open up the bakery later,” he said. He put her arms around her and pulled her close.
“I don’t think you’re listening to me. There’s a lot more reasons why I can’t go beyond the bakery.”
“You could have told me all this yesterday so I wouldn’t have wasted all day working on our trip—you know, the one you agreed to go on.” His arms dropped to his sides, and Emmeline felt the air cool around her. Guilt wracked her body.
The telephone rang, and Emmeline went to get it.
“I think you could let that go. We’re talking here,” Joel called after her.
Emmeline ignored him, grateful for the break.
“Hello,” she said into the receiver.
“Who is it?” asked Joel.
“Shhh,” Emmeline answered him. “It’s Callum.”
“Really, you’re talking to him now? What could he say that’s more important than what we’re discussing? That guy is always creeping around, showing up. Was this whole thing his idea? You were so happy yesterday. What did he put into your head?”
Emmeline put her hand over the receiver. “Joel, that was exactly what I was going to tell Callum. But you know what? I’ll get to you when I’m done here. Callum, I’m back, what’s going on?”
Joel was pissed, she could tell. She could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. She hadn’t expected him to be happy that she wasn’t coming, but she was really hoping that he would be supportive and say things like, “We’ll make it work,” or, “I’ll come back and visit you half way through the year.”
“What was that, Callum? I missed what you said.” It was hard to pay attention; her eyes were glued on Joel.
Joel scowled at her. “You know, perhaps I’ll come back when you’re not so preoccupied with him, and you’re ready to come back to your senses. You’re giving up everything, for what? You’ve never even been on your own, and now you think you can open up an entire business with no experience. I bet Callum is just loving this. He gets to swoop in and save the day as if this is what he meant to do all along. Plan one, get rid of me. Plan two, get you to move back to Port Hope. Plan three, get in your pants.”
Emmeline hastily said goodbye and hung up the phone. “You are sounding crazy.”
“I’d be crazy if I didn’t say what is really going on here.”
“What is really going on here is that I actually have a chance to do something for me for the first time in years. This is what I’ve wanted since Millie was a tiny little baby, and I finally have this perfect place for me to do it. That is it. I have no idea why you think that I’m running back to Port Hope straight into Callum’s arms. There has never been anything between us. We’ve never even kissed.”
“I doubt that. There is no way a guy would stay around like he does without a little something on the side. It’s the reason why you’ve kept Millie away from me.”
“I kept Millie away from you because you lied to me, and set my kid up for an incredible disappointment.”
“So now you’re throwing that in my face. I told you it wasn’t my fault. She was crazy.”
“Crazy or not, you—the situation that you created screwed that up. Then Pernella got sick, and then you were away. You have to admit a lot has been going on. That’s the reason why, not because I’m sleeping with him!” Emmeline’s voice was rising with every word. She needed to calm down. She didn’t want to wake Millie, but it was getting harder and harder to hold her temper.
“And as soon as Pernella got sick, did you call me? No, it was Callum.”
“He’s the closest thing Millie has to a dad. Of course I’d call him.”
“But he isn’t, is he? And if he has his way, no one else will ever be.”
“Not at this rate. I think it’s time for you to leave.”
“So, you’ve made a fool out of me, and now you’re kicking me out. Nice.”
Emmeline went to the door and held it open as Joel stormed though. As soon as he was on the other side, she slammed it shut.
Jerk.
The phone rang again. She picked it up without thinking.
“Are you okay?” asked a very concerned Callum.
“Yes!” she shouted. “Arggg. I don’t know, I think Joel and I just broke up. Do you have any idea how jealous he is of you?”
“Me?”
“Yes. It’s crazy. He just lost his mind when you called, completely unreasonable.”
“Is he upset about the bakery?”
“Yes, well, no.” Emmeline started to explain the trip and what happened over the past few days.
“You did the right thing. Any guy who would react like that isn’t worth it. You wouldn’t want to be away and then have jerk decide he didn’t like something and leave you stranded.”
“I don’t think he’d do that. I’m hoping he’s just disappointed. Doesn’t excuse him for accusing me of cheating on him with you.”
“Want me to come over? We could fool around a bit and put his fears to rest once and for all.”
“You are not helping. This is probably the reason why Joel is so jealous.”
Callum chuckled on the other end.
“Callum,” Emmeline began. She waited a moment, and then said, “When you say those things, are you actually serious?”
There was no answer on the other end.
Chapter Forty-One
The silence on the other end of the phone was killing her. “Well, Callum? I feel like an idiot, but I seriously need to know.” She shifted her weight uncomfortably back and forth as she waited for a response.
“Emmeline, you know me, probably better than anyone else, and I didn’t think there was anything in this world that I wouldn’t do for you until now. But while you’re mad about some other guy, still hung up on him, I’m not going to answer that question.”
Emmeline’s mouth flopped open. She knew it was true; her heart thought it was going to stop. She slowly slid her back down the wall behind her until she sat in a slump on the floor. “Callum, I…I just thought, I mean, after all this time, I never actually thought…”
“Listen, we can talk about this some other time, maybe when you’ve calmed down and Joel is out of your system. I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, but I am not going to make this one.”
“You are too good to us.”
“No, no I’m not. Listen, I’m no saint. And maybe I should have said whatever it is I should have said a long time ago, but I didn’t. Let’s just for the moment leave it as: we have fun together, and I am there for the two of you. I would really like to change the subject now. Please. I promise, we’ll have this conversation—one day.”
Emmeline bit her lip. She was just going to have to accept that as her answer—for now. It didn’t matter, though. She knew the truth; it was clear for the first time. Callum’s flirting, his need to be there. Joel had been right, Callum wanted her. Didn’t excuse Joel from being a jerk, but perhaps his jealousy might be well-founded.
She breathed slowly, taking it all in. The past twenty-four hours had practically given her whiplash. Joel, agreeing to go on that amazing trip, then realizing that she couldn’t. Millie’s news, Callum. Her body felt electric, her mind buzzing frantically from one thing to another with no control. Did she feel for Callum what he felt for her? She couldn’t tell. She was so messed up right now she couldn’t tell her left from her right, up from down, love from lust—or even from friendship. Callum was right, she needed to get her bearings. There would be plenty of time after she moved to her new home to figure things out.
She didn’t want to mess everything up any more than she already had. For now, all she needed to do was focus on the direction her life was pulling her: east. Back to her hometown, home to her parents, where perhaps they could patch up years of damage. Home to where her friends were, home to finally deal with Nicholas’s family, a nightmare she had been avoiding for years. She nev
er asked again how they were doing. If they were even still there? How was Erik? Emmeline had left Port Hope and never looked back, never imagining that she would ever return.
Emmeline hung up the phone, emotionally exhausted. She crawled up the stairs and under her covers, stopping only to peek in on Millie, who had slept straight through the drama. At least she had shielded Millie from most of it.
Emmeline pulled the covers over her head. It felt like only a second had passed when she felt Millie’s cold toes under them beside her.
“Pancakes, please,” said the bright-eyed little girl an inch from Emmeline’s face.
Emmeline groaned. “How about cereal?”
“It’s Saturday. Saturdays are pancake days, not cereal days, silly.”
“Do you think that we could make an exception today?”
“Mo-om!” Millie said, drawing the word out. Emmeline knew she was beat. Pancakes it was—again.
Defeated, she threw on a housecoat, the one she wore when she was feeling like crap. It was soft and warm, with small little flowers on it. She slowly walked down the stairs.
“Mom, did I tell you I have to be at the theater this morning at ten?”
Emmeline peeked at the clock. “Okay,” she said, grateful there was still a couple of hours before then. She absentmindedly started to make the recipe that she had done a million times since Millie first discovered her undying adoration for pancakes.
“Millie, what would you say if we had a chance to open up our very own bakery?” Perhaps while she was feeling like this, it wasn’t a good idea to ask. Yet she couldn’t help it; things needed to be dealt with.
“Mommy! That would be amazing!” Millie hopped and skipped around the kitchen.
“What if we needed to move so that we could do it?”
“Move where?”
“Anywhere.” Emmeline wanted to test the waters first.
“But what about Grammy Pernella?”
“Grammy Pernella isn’t moving back in here. She’s staying where she is. We’ve gone over this.”
“This is where her room is. This is her house. She is coming back.” Millie’s skipping had stopped, and she put her hands on her tiny hips.
“Sweetie. Life changes. That means Pernella’s does too.”
Millie grunted in disgust.
“Listen, we all have to try new things. So tell me, what do you think of us going on a new adventure?”
“Maybe…”
“Nothing is settled at the moment. I would just like to hear what you think. Moving wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”
“Maybe…”
“I was thinking about the building that we inherited back in Port Hope. It’s right downtown. It would be perfect for a bakery. We could live there too.”
“I have never lived in Port Hope.”
“Yes, you have, but when you were a baby.”
“I think I like it here.”
“But it’s time for us to start thinking about what is best for us. I think moving to Port Hope would be really good for us.”
Millie scowled, and Emmeline changed the subject. That was good enough for now. They ate their breakfast together, and then Emmeline reluctantly got dressed. She checked her phone on and off to see if Joel had called. She had no idea what she’d say if he even did, and she wasn’t sure what was worse, him calling, or the cold silence.
She dropped Millie off and promised to take her to see Pernella after class. Instead of waiting around, Emmeline drove back home in a daze. She walked into the dining room and sat on one of the blue and white upholstered chairs. The pictures she had done were still scattered on the table. She picked each one up and examined them. Was this truly what she wanted?
She knew in her gut it was. It didn’t make her feel any better. This whole thing was scary. What if she failed? She could put their entire future in jeopardy.
***
She picked Millie up a few hours later, and drove over to the nursing home. They found Pernella in her fourth-floor room, dressed in black tights and a sparkly sweatshirt that hung off her shoulder.
“Who broke you guys?” Pernella asked immediately.
“What are you talking about?” Emmeline asked, trying to cover up what she was feeling inside.
“Oh Grammy! Mommy says you’re really not coming home,” cried Millie.
“Millie! What is it that you are bubbling about? I am home!”
“No, you’re not,” Millie said defiantly.
“Millie, this is my home. I am happy here. Aren’t you happy for me?”
Millie little lip jutted forward, and Pernella patted her knee, signaling her to come over and sit on it. Millie did, and Pernella wrapped her arms around her waist and then kissed her on the head. “What else is going on?”
“Mommy told me that we might be moving too.”
“I know, sweetie pie. You and your mommy have a great chance to do something wonderful. I am so happy for you.”
Emmeline had talked this through with Pernella a few times over the past few days.
“But it’s in some town that I haven’t been to since I was a baby.” Millie was losing her bravado, starting to sound upset. “I don’t want to go.”
“Your mom told me her plan a little while ago,” Pernella replied, sitting up straighter. “It’s back in your old world. I don’t think it will be a problem. You’ll get to know your grandparents better, you’ll get to see where your mommy lived when she was a little girl. You know strife brings out your truth.”
Emmeline stiffened. These were the words that she needed to hear too, and yet didn’t want to. Millie looked at Pernella like she was from Mars.
“Now, Emmeline, your turn. Confess. What is going on with you?”
“Perhaps it’s been too much strife these days. Joel and I broke up last night. He wasn’t exactly excited about the bakery.”
“If he wasn’t excited about your dreams then he was a complete idiot, love.”
“I don’t know. Perhaps I’m getting in over my head. Pernella, are you sure you don’t want to move home?” Suddenly that felt like the best thing. Things could just stay the same. The idea was warm and comforting.
Pernella looked at the two of them in amazement. “Did you guys expect me to prop you up and make you feel better just because things are changing?”
“Grammy, we can’t leave you!” whined Millie.
“And that is your excuse for not moving on with your life?” Pernella gave them both the stink eye.
Emmeline glanced at Millie, who wore the same sheepish expression.
“Well…” Emmeline began.
“I think you should go. I am nobody’s crutch,” said Pernella. “Have I not taught you anything?”
“You have, but…” Emmeline started again.
“Nope. Out you go, and come back when you’re not feeling sorry for yourself.”
Emmeline knew Pernella was right. She was about to embark on her dream, and all she could do was be miserable.
“Millie,” Emmeline said, picking up her daughter’s hand. “I am nervous too. Do you think that perhaps we could try and be brave?”
Millie forced a nod.
“Millie, why don’t you tell Grammy all about the play?”
That took up an entire hour, as she gave her all the details about the play and her ideas on how to make it better. She beamed as she told Pernella that she was getting to direct an entire scene, and the theater school had never let a seven-year-old do that before. She was the first.
“You’re a trailblazer, girl,” Pernella praised her.
When they left that afternoon, Emmeline decided she needed to get out of her funk. She spent the rest of the day working on bakery details, the boring ones that made her head hurt—finances, move-in dates, insurance policies—and sent it all on to Ginny to double check.
She brought up her courage and called Joel that night. She wanted him to be happy on his trip. She wanted him to live it to the fullest, and if he wanted to, when
he came back, they could see what could happen from there. Joel was still mad.
“You’re just trying to get rid of me!” he accused her. “No. wait, I’m being a jerk. I really wanted you to come. I really am going to miss you. I really want you to come.”
“I can’t, it isn’t the time for me to pick up and leave. You need to understand this. I don’t want to leave everything so miserable. What we had was pretty good.”
“Had. That’s a horrible word.”
“It just has to be like this.” Tears burned the corners of her eyes. She forced them back; no more crying. Time to woman up.
“No changing your mind?”
“No changing my mind. I’ve relied on other people my whole life; it’s time for that to change.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. I need to go. I just didn’t want you to go with us still in a fight.”
Joel was quiet for a moment, and then said, “Goodbye, Emmeline Hope.”
“Goodbye, Joel.”
Emmeline buried herself for the next few hours in laundry and dishes. She and Millie watched a movie, and before she went to bed she called Callum. He made her laugh, and she felt better than she ever imagined she’d feel at that moment.
Chapter Forty-Two
The next month passed in a blur of meetings with the bank and lawyers and a million calls back and forth with Ginny, who helped guide her through the process. Emmeline snuck down to Port Hope while Millie was in school to sign official papers with the law firm her grandmother had dealt with, and was given a set of keys. Ginny and Callum were by her side as she gazed on the vacant building that she now officially owned. The outside brick had been painted blue, probably eighty years ago, and it was attached on either side to similarly styled buildings. A large picture window still had the historical society’s logo on the front; that most definitely would have to come down soon. Emmeline had no idea how to do that, but Callum was already giving her advice. Not on style, but on how to take the sign down, how to fix the wooden door, and how to reframe the window for better impact.
Emmeline pulled out the key the lawyer’s office had just given her. She jiggled the key into the lock and pulled open the door. A large, open room with dingy white floors greeted her. The walls were a pale gray, and in some places screws that probably hung pictures were still present. A plastic chair that had been left behind lay on its side.
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