‘No. I like London too much.’
‘But she said —’
‘I’m sure she did. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it was true. Ella, please, sit down. Calm down. Everything’s fine.’
‘How can it be? Haven’t I ruined everything?’
‘Of course not. Let me go and make some tea. And while I’m doing that, I want you to take a look at this.’ He handed me a folder of paperwork.
‘What is it?’
‘Take a look and you’ll see.’
He left the room. I opened the folder. It was the architect’s drawings for his renovations. I couldn’t understand it. I’d just ruined his decades-long love affair and he wanted me to look at renovation plans?
I went out into the kitchen with them. ‘Lucas, we can’t talk about this now.’
He looked up from the kettle. ‘Why not? I’ve been trying to get you to talk about it with me since you got here. Now seems as good a time as any.’
‘Lucas, don’t you realise what happened today? I made a mess of everything for you with Henrietta and her husband.’
‘No, you didn’t.’
‘Lucas, I did. And I’ve done the same thing with the job you gave me. I’ve been here two weeks and I still haven’t got any closer to finding out who’s behind the thefts. I know how important it is. I’ll keep trying, I promise —’
‘Ella, forget about the thefts.’
‘I won’t. I promise I’ll work out which of the tutors it is, even if —’
‘You won’t be able to.’
‘I will. I just haven’t concentrated enough on it yet.’
‘Ella, listen to me, please. You won’t be able to find out which tutor is to blame because none of them are. Because nothing was stolen.’
‘Pardon?’
He repeated it.
‘But you said —’
‘Yes.’
‘You emailed me. You asked me to come to London —’
‘To give you something to do. To stop you running.’
I could only look at him.
‘It was my idea and then Charlie backed me up. We thought if I said I needed your help, if I gave you a job, you would stay here out of loyalty —’
‘But why?’
‘Because one of us had to try something.’
‘Why?’
‘To stop you tormenting yourself and the rest of us with you.’
I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, Lucas. I can’t listen to this.’
‘Ella, you have to. We need you to stop running. Not just from Aidan, not just from Jess. From all of us.’
‘That’s not fair, Lucas. It’s not true.’
‘It is true. When I saw Aidan a month ago, I realised I couldn’t stand back any longer. I had to do something.’
‘That’s why you asked me here?’
He nodded. ‘We tried to get Aidan here too. We haven’t managed it yet.’
‘Here to London?’
‘Yes. But he’s stopped answering Charlie’s messages. He’s gone quiet on us.’
I hesitated. ‘No, he hasn’t.’
‘What?’
Tell him. ‘I’ve had a letter.’
‘From Aidan? Sent to this house?’
I nodded. ‘I got it two days ago.’
‘What does it say?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You don’t know?’
‘I haven’t read it yet.’
An unreadable expression crossed Lucas’s face. I couldn’t tell if it was anger or disappointment or something else. ‘What a surprise.’
‘Lucas, I couldn’t —’
‘Ella, you could have. But you chose not to. You could have opened all of his letters. You could have stayed with him and helped him at any stage over the past twenty months. You chose not to. You chose to punish him for something that wasn’t his fault. As you’ve done to Jess. Punished her for something she must have wished again and again had never happened.’
I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. I ignored what he said about Aidan. I focused on Jess instead. ‘How can you know that? Have you talked to her?’
‘I didn’t need to. I could imagine how she feels.’
‘Lucas, no —’
‘Yes, Ella.’ He paused. ‘Because what happened to Jess with Felix nearly happened to me too.’
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak.
‘You need to hear this, Ella. It happened the night I was looking after him in Canberra. Do you remember? The night before I left? When I insisted you and Aidan go out for a drink together on your own, for an hour?’
I nodded.
‘Something happened that night.’
I could only stare mutely at him.
‘He loves fruit, you said. Oranges especially. Just give him small pieces, though, won’t you? So I did. I put him into his highchair, just as you’d shown me. I put the cut orange in a bowl and I gave him one segment. He loved it. I gave him another. He loved that too. I went back out into the kitchen to get more. And in the five seconds I was gone, he started choking. He’d put another whole piece in his mouth. When I came back in, his face was blue. I panicked. I pulled him out of the chair and I turned him upside down and I hit his back and reached into his mouth until the orange came out, until he started crying and I knew, thank God, I knew he was okay.’
I didn’t move. I didn’t say a word.
‘Twenty minutes later you and Aidan came back home.’
I remembered. We had the glow of two drinks and an hour in each other’s company on us. We walked in and there was Lucas on the sofa, Felix happy and sleepy on his lap. Lucas was reading to him. I could even remember the book. It was Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert.
I found my voice at last. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I was too shocked that night. I was leaving the next day. I decided you and Aidan didn’t need to know. But that’s why I know how Jess feels. Because I was five seconds from feeling it myself.’
Behind us, the phone rang. We ignored it. The answering machine clicked on. It was one of Lucas’s clients, wanting an extra tutoring session.
The room was too quiet afterwards. I didn’t know how I felt. Shocked. Exhausted.
‘Lucas —’
He held up his hand. ‘Let’s stop there for now, Ella. It’s been a difficult morning for us all.’
‘I have to tell you this. Jess is in London.’
‘I know. Charlie told me.’
‘Charlie knew? And he didn’t tell me?’
Lucas didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. I’d told Charlie not to tell me anything about Jess or Aidan.
‘Lucas, is Aidan —’ I stopped.
He waited.
‘Has Aidan —’ I couldn’t say the words. Has Aidan met someone new?
‘Has Aidan recovered? Is that what you want to know?’
I nodded.
‘Aidan is broken-hearted. From what I could tell, he has no life beyond his work and his guilt.’
‘Why has he written to me again?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Has he met someone? Does he want a divorce? Is that why he’s writing to me?’
‘I don’t know, Ella. Aidan is your husband. Ask him yourself. Read his letter. Please. Now.’
If I’d had it, I would have taken it out then, read it in front of Lucas. I told him where it was. In my notebook, on the table in Henrietta’s living room.
To my astonishment, he started to laugh. Not just chuckle. He roared laughing.
‘It’s not funny, Lucas.’
‘Oh, it is, Ella. It is.’ He reached for his coat, picked up his glasses. ‘Come on. Put on your coat.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘Where do you think? To visit Dr and Mrs Samson, of course.’
Chapter Thirty-six
From: Charlie Baum
To: Walter Baum
Re: Jess
Dad, am writing from Logan airport. Got the last seat on a flig
ht leaving Boston this morning. Will be in London by late afternoon UK time. Will go straight to Jess’s hotel. I’ll ring you from there. She’ll be fine. Don’t worry.
From: Charlie Baum
To: Lucy Baum
Re: Thank you
On board, about to switch phone off. I’ll call from London as soon as I can, hopefully with good news. Thank you. For everything. Please thank your boss from me for giving you the time off as well. I’ll be back as soon as I can.
Please kiss the kids goodnight from me. And good morning too.
I love you, Lucy.
C xx
Chapter Thirty-seven
We hailed a taxi on Bayswater Road. ‘This is a bad idea, Lucas.’
‘It’s an excellent idea.’
‘They’ll kill us.’
‘They can’t kill us, Ella. It’s illegal. Who are you so frightened of? Henrietta or her husband?’
‘Both of them.’
‘There’s no need. I’ve known Henrietta since she was eighteen years old, remember. We met on our first day at university. I’ve known Claude since he was twenty. He was an old bore at that age and he still is. Don’t tell me – the editing project he mentioned was about his family?’
‘Yes, his father and —’
‘His grandfather, who revolutionised medical science in Britain, blah blah blah? He’s been going on about that for as long as I’ve known him. I could write that book myself, I’ve heard the stories so often. Many a good dinner party has been ruined by his ancestors.’
‘You socialise with him?’
‘Of course. He’s one of my oldest friends. A bore, as I said, but good company if you can keep him off the subject of his family. And cricket. He’s very widely read. That’s one of the reasons he and Henrietta have managed to stay together for so long.’
‘Because they like discussing books?’
‘No, they both like to read. Which means they don’t have to talk to each other.’
‘Lucas, I am very confused.’
‘Let me explain, Ella. Henrietta is wonderful in many ways, but she has an unfortunate weakness for the finer things in life. Good food, expensive wine, luxury holidays. That’s one of the reasons she never wanted to leave Claude for me. I couldn’t offer the same things.’
She’d said as much to me, I remembered.
‘She stayed with me one weekend when he was away, at some tedious family history conference probably, thousands of people droning on about great-uncle Sylvester or some such thing. I can’t imagine anything worse. Anyway, Henrietta came to stay. Ella, I thought you were obsessive about cleaning. She was worse. I’d had visions of a weekend in bed together —’
‘Lucas —’
‘Ella, are you embarrassed? You really are sweet. I was alive and kicking in the swinging sixties, remember.’ He dropped his voice to a whisper. ‘I’ve even taken drugs.’
‘I don’t want to hear.’ I was only half joking.
He smiled. ‘I didn’t inhale, of course. Or did I? I can’t remember. I was probably drunk at the time. The fact is, Henrietta refused to sleep with me that weekend. She said the bed was too small and the attic made her claustrophobic. We moved downstairs to another bedroom. She said there were spiderwebs. I got rid of the spiderwebs. She said the sheets weren’t clean enough. I changed them. It was like having Mrs Beeton to stay. We did nothing but discuss household maintenance. Eventually we booked into a hotel. She only agreed to stay with me again if I promised to make the bed with her sheets.’ He laughed again. ‘She’d always arrive with new ones, fresh from the shop. It must have cost her a fortune over the years.’ He leaned forward. ‘Ah, here we are.’
I tensed.
‘Don’t be frightened, Ella. They’re just people. Old people, at that.’
We got out. I stood back as he pressed the intercom. A male voice answered. ‘Get lost.’
‘Let us in, Claude. You’ve already frightened one Fox away today. It won’t work with two.’
‘You’ve done enough damage —’
‘I’ll do more if you don’t let me in.’
The buzz sounded. The gate opened. Lucas started to walk up the steps.
I took his sleeve. ‘They’ve just painted the front door. We have to go around the side.’
‘The servants’ entrance? How apt.’ He let himself in and called out. ‘Henrietta? Claude? Are you lying in a bloodied mess somewhere or having an early G & T?’
‘I told you on the phone I never wanted to see you again, Lucas.’
I spun around. It was Henrietta’s voice. I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
‘So you did,’ Lucas called back. ‘I must have forgotten. In the conservatory, then?’
I hadn’t noticed the door when I’d been there earlier. Lucas opened it. It was a large conservatory, old-style, filled with plants. At the end was a glass table with four chairs. Henrietta and Claude were sitting there, both with drinks in their hands. It wasn’t noon yet.
‘Now, who will apologise to Ella first?’ Lucas said. ‘Henrietta? Claude? Or shall we go in alphabetical order?’
‘Fuck off, Fox,’ Dr Samson said. His tone was mild.
I couldn’t believe it. Where was the shouting? The anger? The talk of divorce?
‘We’d both love a drink, thanks so much for asking,’ Lucas said. ‘But actually we’ve dropped by to collect something Ella left behind this morning, when the two of you rudely chased her out.’
Henrietta rolled her eyes. ‘We didn’t chase her out. Frankly, Lucas, she ran.’
‘Your word against hers. We’ll have to review the security footage. So, her notebook? Have you seen it?’
‘It’s upstairs still, I imagine,’ Henrietta said. ‘Wherever she left it.’
I spoke for the first time. ‘May I —’
‘Of course, Ella.’ It was Lucas who gave me permission. ‘Can you find your way? I’ll wait here.’
I ran upstairs. The notebook was there, on the table. It was still open at the same page. I picked it up and quickly checked inside. Aidan’s letter was there. I stood in the middle of the room, counted to twenty and then went back downstairs again.
Lucas was sitting down now too. It all looked so social, so friendly. ‘All fine, Ella?’
I nodded. I had to ask. Him, not them. ‘Lucas, is everything okay? I haven’t ruined everything?’
Dr Samson answered me. ‘Everything’s fine, Ella. I must apologise. Lucas tells me you were very upset about this morning. Don’t be. Henrietta and I are constantly divorcing. She takes a notion, rings her solicitor, he reminds her that she won’t get a bean if she leaves me, so she stays. Isn’t that right, darling?’
Darling?
Henrietta nodded. Sulkily, like a child.
Dr Samson smiled at her. ‘Why do we put up with her, Lucas?’
‘God only knows,’ Lucas said. ‘You found your notebook, Ella? Ready for home?’
‘Yes, please,’ I said.
We were at the door when Dr Samson called my name. I turned around.
‘I would still like to see samples of your editorial work, Ella. And your references. If you’re still interested, of course.’
‘For God’s sake, Claude,’ Lucas said. ‘Ella’s my niece, remember. You think I’d let her work for you? That project of yours is so dull it would take years off her life. Find some other poor sap to do it. Lovely to see you both. Goodbye, now.’
We were barely out of earshot before he spoke.
‘You didn’t mind me turning down that job on your behalf, Ella, did you? Trust me, he would have driven you demented.’
I didn’t mind at all, I told him. I’d already decided I wanted as little as possible to do with Henrietta or her husband.
It wasn’t until we were walking down their street that I started asking more questions. Lucas was very relaxed and very forthcoming. Yes, Dr Samson had always known about their affair. Yes, since the beginning. Yes, he had had affairs of his own too. No, it wasn’t a c
onventional situation, but it worked for the three of them. Yes, Lucas agreed, he’d been flexible about the truth with me over the years, but it was for the tutors’ sake more than anyone’s. Henrietta had felt it was better if they didn’t know the extent of her relationship with Lucas. She only ever stayed the night at Lucas’s house when the tutors were away, for that reason too. He hadn’t deliberately hidden it from me either. He’d simply felt it didn’t matter if I knew the whole story or not. His private life was his private life.
He glanced at me. ‘So, Ella, are you shocked? Or disappointed?’
‘Astonished?’ I said.
‘That people our age can get up to these shenanigans?’
That was partly it, I said. But mostly, I realised I was relieved. Lucas wouldn’t be moving to France. He wouldn’t be selling the house. As for whether he was leaving it to me or not, I didn’t care. He could leave it to the university, if he wanted. To a dogs’ home. I told him as much.
‘Dogs?’ he said. ‘A foxes’ home, surely?’
‘To whichever you want. It’s your house. But I don’t want to think about it yet. You’re not going anywhere for a long while.’
‘I’m sixty-three, Ella. I will be going somewhere, some day. And the house will be yours, whether you like it or not. I couldn’t hand it over to any dogs or foxes. Imagine the mess they might make. How could I bear that?’ He glanced across at me. ‘Do you know, that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile today? You haven’t done nearly enough smiling since you got here.’
The noise of the traffic on Kensington High Street made it difficult to talk. We kept walking, finally reaching Kensington Gardens. I expected him to take the path that would lead across to his house. Instead, he turned right.
We were silent at first. The trees around us were bare, not even the smallest of buds evident. Far off in the distance I could hear the sound of a saw or a lawn mower. Ahead, there were dogs barking. Behind us, traffic. We walked until we reached the Serpentine, the stretch of water that marked the border between Kensington Gardens and Hyde Park. Only a few other people were around. The wind was cold. I turned up the collar on my coat and pushed my hands deep into my pockets. The breeze was whipping the surface of the water. I watched a ripple make its way right across, a duck bobbing up and down in its wake.
The House of Memories Page 26