by Diana Graves
“What does that mean?” he asked.
I made a raspberry and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know, lust. I care for you…” I turned over, suddenly remembering the dream I had. “I had the most amazing dream!” I said with excitement. Damon was awake, looking at me. “You, Damon and I had mind blowing sex.” My fingers played along my lips and I smiled at the memory of having them both. Even in a drugged stupor I knew I could never truly live out that fantasy. I didn’t have that guts to be that open with my sexuality, but it’s nice to dream. “Oh it was just the bee’s knees.”
Damon laughed out loud. “Bee’s Knees?” he chuckled.
“Yup, it was amazzzzzzzzzzzzzing” I giggled and they all laughed at me.
“Well, we love you too,” said Alistair.
I looked at him and for a moment my face was all too serious. I’d never thought of Alistair the same way I’d thought of Damon or Mato. He went from enemy number one to best friend. I’d never considered the idea of us becoming lovers, and I wasn’t sure I ever would. But I had to admit that there was something between us that was intimate. Whatever I’d call my feelings for him they were heavy, like a weight on my heart. I felt that if I ever let myself just think about him like that it would be too much for me to handle. He’s held me against his chest plenty of times. We’ve looked into each other’s eyes and we’ve both felt the connection, the pull, I’m sure of it.
I turned my face back to the ceiling and smiled and I tried to let myself be bubbly and airy again, but it wasn’t happening. My mind was full of serious thoughts. I started telling them a story, a story about a demon waking me from a nightmare to tell me he stole my son. A story about angels and gods and immortal assassins and I didn’t stop telling them everything until I was done, no matter what their comments, questions or attempts were at stopping me from speaking in front of Mato. I told them about Trivia, about who she was. I told them about Nick coming to my rescue but leaving when I confessed my friendship with Alistair. I told them about the man I killed and how I killed him. I told them about The Hunt, the information Katie found and who the Jane Doe was that was killed last night, a woman who just happened to have my name and live within the region mapped out by the ritual sacrifices. I told them that everything was my fault and that eventually Orestes and his men would realize that they made a mistake, and they’d come for me and everyone I love. When I was done I turned my head and looked at them, sitting in silence.
Damon was the first to say anything. Ever the practical man, he asked, “So we kill them, Orestes and his men?”
I sighed with relief. I guess I was expecting to get yelled at, or maybe that would come later, after I purge our baby from my womb. “Raphael seems to think that the answer to that question is in the book Katie found in the library. Katie and I are supposed to go back to the library today, but I’m not sure what help I’d be. I can’t read French.”
“I can,” and Damon pulled his phone from his pocket and pushed a button before bringing it to his ear. “Katie went home around two, so she’ll still be sleeping, but I’m going to leave a message,” he explained as he waited through the rings before the voice mail picked up. “Katie. You and Raina were supposed to go to the library today. When I get home you and I will go together instead. Be ready to go as soon as you wake up. I’ll fill you in on the details when I get home.”
“Raina,” said Mato as he stood and came to my bedside. “I had no idea. You are one uniqueness after another; living vampire, demigoddess and incredibly beautiful on the inside as well as out.”
I did my best not to roll my eyes at him. I’m not sure if I was successful, though. “Hey, don’t waste your charms on me. I’m with another fella,” I said with a smirk.
“You are such a tease,” Mato said. “I like it. There is something appealing to being around a woman I cannot have, yet we both want each other.”
I laughed to hide the gross face I wanted to make, “Whatever.” But I thought to myself, ‘Yes, Raina, play down that dumb shit you just said mere minutes ago about loving him and all of that. I’m sure it will work.’ Shut up, me. By the smile on Mato’s face I was sure he was thinking something along those lines as well. “Oh, shut up,” I said.
“I did not say anything,” he said, but he turned and walked to the far side of the room to sit back down.
I sighed. At least Damon wasn’t mad. He was on his phone with someone else now, a man, but I didn’t recognize the voice as anyone’s I knew.
And then it was Alistair’s turn to come to the bed and talk to me. Would he tease me for my earlier foolishness, give me a few strong words for comfort, or scold me for how stupid I was for hiding such important information from him? None of the above. His eyes were tender with worry as he kneeled before me. Again there was that familiar attraction that seemed both too great to ignore and too strong to give in to.
“Raina, I think the medication is wearing off.”
“Oh,” I hadn’t expected that and it took a moment to figure out what that meant for me. “Oh,” I said with real fear in my voice.
Gabriel came into the room then with two nurses.
“Are we ready to meet this little miracle?” he said.
There was no time for more local anesthetic. I was writhing in pain and the baby was coming. He told me to push and push I did. I screamed every push, bearing down and giving it everything I had. Damon was standing over Gabriel, ready to cut the umbilical cord while Mato and Alistair stood by my head and held each hand. Afterward I would find comfort in the fact that they were both vampires and no matter how hard I squeezed I wouldn’t hurt them, but frankly, in that moment I didn’t give a damn.
“Push!” Gabriel yelled. “She’s crowning.”
“Oh, Goddess!” I screamed.
“I see the head!” Damon yelled as I pushed.
“Stop pushing!” Gabriel said.
“What?” I asked breathlessly. How the hell was I supposed to stop?
“If you continue, you’ll rip. I’m going to cut the perineum and then I’m just going to need just a little cough from you. Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said with a vigorous nod, and I heard the sound of him cut me open, like strong scissors through a thick rubber band and then the pain registered and all I could do was whimper.
“Cough just a little,” he said. I coughed two pathetic fake coughs and then I felt a great relief of pressure. I heard crying moments later and my head hit the pillow. It was done, thank Goddess. “Now, here comes the placenta.” A shiver ran up my spine at the feel of the afterbirth coming out. Ewe, gross.
Gabriel handed the baby to Damon. He wrapped her in a little pink blanket and brought her to my bedside. She was beautiful.
“She has your complexion,” Damon said, and he was right. Her skin was creamy, like mine.
“And your hair,” I said because she had a full head of pitch black hair that, like Damon’s whole body, seemed unreal, too smooth, too shapely.
“She’s beautiful,” said Alistair.
“More importantly, she seems perfectly healthy. You two, or should I say you three, just made history this morning. We may have just witnessed the first successful offspring between a barguest and a human.”
“Hello, Isobel,” I said as Damon handed her to me. She was so tiny.
“At 7:20am on Monday, October 31st, Isobel Kirkland was born weighing six pounds and two ounces,” said Mato with a wide smile and a soft hand on my shoulder.
CHANGING PLANS
I GOT LITTLE to no sleep after I gave birth; only what Isobel and the Bastion’s staff allowed me. It wasn’t often that the vampire collective played host to a new born baby, and many of the Bastion’s day staff made a point to come down to the clinic and see her at some point during their shifts. Aunt Fauna was the first of my family to come back to the hospital to see the baby. Uncle Sonny and Aunt Marge’s three kids came in at a run, making a loud fuss over who got to hold Isobel first. Their obnoxious behavior made
the baby burst into a frightful cry. Marge gave them a harsh talking to and apologized for their manners, or lack thereof.
They weren’t pretending to look human anymore. Sonny and the boys; Morris and Lou were wearing colorful Celtic tunics and Marge and their youngest, Madelyn, were in bright yellow robes with a delicate pattern of fall leaves sown into the hem. In a plain pair of slacks and grey t-shirt, Fauna was dressed simple enough, but her features were loud enough to make up for it. With large round black eyes and bright red hair that dragged on the floor, she came to my bedside.
“She’s beautiful and so tiny,” said Fauna as she stroked a gentle hand down Isobel’s soft hair.
“She is,” I said.
Aunt Marge sneaked in a picture or two of the baby and me. I must have looked quite a state. The few times I got out of bed, I just used the restroom and hopped right back into bed, which meant my hair was a mess. I was still in the same hospital gown I sweated through while giving birth and I could feel how dopy my face must have looked.
“May I,” Sonny asked with his hands out. He meant to take Isobel from me so that the kids could get their pictures taken with her. With tired burning eyes and an aching body, I happily handed her over.
“How do you feel?” asked Fauna.
“I’m just tired and a little tender. The nurses say I’m healing well and fast, like any vampire with a flesh wound.”
“That’s good. I’m sorry we couldn’t stay for the delivery. We wouldn’t be much use if we stayed up till after seven in the morning.”
“I understand. I’m just glad you guys came and spent some time with me last night, and now you’re all back—but, not Maggie.”
Fauna frowned. “You know Maggie.”
I did. She never liked me much. I didn’t understand it, but I’d come to expect it. I was actually surprised that she and Bethany came at all last night. Maybe they got caught up in the excitement, or maybe they only came to see me scream in pain…I didn’t like to think that would be the reason; kind of sadistic. Nah, it was probably the excitement.
“You look so exhausted. Why don’t we take the baby for a walk around the Bastion while you get some sleep, hu? Your mom said that she’d be here soon, with Linn and Ell. We’ll pass Isobel off to them when we have to go so that you can get some real sleep. Does that sound good?”
“What if she gets hungry?”
“We thought you might need a break,” said Sonny. “So we picked up some formula at the grocery store on the way here.”
“Isn’t breast milk best?” I asked.
“It is, but a little infant formula won’t hurt her. We made sure to get the right kind of bottles to avoid gassiness and nipple confusion. See, it looks like a nipple,” Marge said, and she pulled the bottle they bought out of her purse to show me. “Besides, a sleep deprived mom is no good to anyone,” she said as she took a picture of her husband rocking my little lady in his arms.
I wanted to argue with them, but I was exhausted. I felt guilty about it, but I agreed. Sonny leaned over the bed so that I could kiss Isobel and then he left with his kids running after him. Fauna left after him and Marge shut off the lights on her way out. Awe, peace and quiet at long last.
Hours later I was woken by Mom. She was wearing a beautiful ruby red robe with her black and gold hair braided to the floor. She was singing a familiar witch’s lullaby. Standing with her back to me, she rocked Isobel gently back and forth and near the end of the song she slowly turned around and placed her next to me, a sleeping bundle of joy snuggly wrapped in a blanket like a little burrito.
“You were wonderful last night,” Mom whispered. “I’m so proud of you.”
I didn’t respond. I just gave her the cheesiest grin. I always wanted to hear those words from her. I could not express how happy it made me, but I wasn’t sure if I earned her pride. Women give birth all the time. It’s kind of our gig, right?
“The family is worried about you. Lidia told me there were police at your house before you went into labor. They found a body with your name carved into it, and now there are two EI officers guarding your door. Would you mind telling me what’s going on?” she asked.
I was silent for a moment. I wasn’t sure what I could or should say. I didn’t want to scare her, but she had a right to know. “Apparently, gods kill demigods and they were going to kill me, but I changed their minds. However, the men they hired for the job aren’t letting it go. All they have is my name, but they’ve already killed the only other Raina Kirkland that lives around here. That’s why there’s a guard outside my door. That’s why there were police at my house.” Mom gave me a look that was somewhere between disappointment and concern. “Don’t worry. I’ll deal with this.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about you, Raina. You’ve taught me to trust your ability to survive,” she said, but there was worry in her eyes and in her voice, not her posture, though. It was always perfect.
I shook my head to get rid of that subject. She’d reacted better than I thought she would. “What’s going on with your wedding, Mom?”
“It’s been moved to Thursday. That’s the soonest the caterer could reschedule for the reception.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. There have been some other changes, as well. The temple isn’t available for a wedding until next week, but the elves have to leave back to Scotland on Friday, so we’re having the ceremony and reception in Darkness. Ruy is actually happy about that. It was what he wanted in the first place. However, Olathia will have to marry us since the high priestess, Gretchen, isn’t available for Thursday. Olathia can’t be both one of my women of honor and our officiate, so now I’m short one. With that in mind, I was wondering if you might stand beside me at the altar, if you’re feeling up to it that is.”
I just looked at her for a moment, thinking about why she would ask me and not one of her second cousins; Marge, Lidia, Linn or Ell. She could pick any one of them and it would make more sense to me. Even so I said, “Yes, but I don’t have a bride’s maid dress and I won’t fit Olathia’s. She’s so tiny.”
Mom looked too happy. “Actually, Olathia refused to wear the dress I picked out anyway, so I just told her and Fauna to pick out their own. It has to be a long evening dress, lavender and tasteful. No overflowing breasts,” she said with an eye brow raised. Yeah, my breasts were not easily contained.
“Your wedding color is lavender?” I asked.
“Lavender and black, but you can’t wear black,” Mom added because she knew I’d rather wear black than a pastel. Yuck!
“Looks like I’m going shopping,” I said, and I tried to look happy about it. Not that I didn’t like shopping; I just didn’t like shopping for clothes I wouldn’t like.
Mom combed her fingers through my hair. “It’s getting late,” she said. “You better rest some more before your nocturnal visitors arrive.”
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Late,” she said, but she checked her phone to get the exact time while she mumbled. “Linn and Ell took a taxi back to the house about an hour ago—ah, it’s almost five in the afternoon.”
“Fauna was here at noon. I don’t feel like I’ve slept four and a half hours.”
“Then I’ll leave you to get a bit more sleep while you still can, and I’ll see you bright and early Thursday morning in Darkness for hair and makeup. You can bring Katie if you want to. I’ve noticed she’s glued to your hip these days.”
“She’s grown on me.”
“She’s certainly changed a great deal. Good night, sweetie,” she said before she left me alone to fall back to sleep snuggled warm with my baby. My baby…It was so surreal, but it was true. If you told me last week that I’d be a mother to a new born baby, I would have told you that you were out of your ever-loving mind.
ABOUT BARGUESTS
I WOKE UP on my own around seven at night and slipped out of the bed. I’d spent almost the entire day on my backside, getting up only to use the restroom
a few times before heading back to bed. It felt wonderful to have finally gotten some real sleep. I stretched my limbs and looked down at my sleeping babe. Though the room was dark Isobel’s creamy skin had a glow to it like my own. She slept quietly, all snug, but I knew it had been a while since I fed her, so I woke her gently by picking her up and assuming the feeding position. She woke at once and latched on like a pro. Aunt Marge told me to never wake a sleeping baby, but I couldn’t help it. I loved to watch Isobel sleep, but I loved to watch her little movements more. As she fed, I stroked her hair and dreamed of seeing her grow: learning, smiling, drooling, crawling, walking and talking. I couldn’t wait.
Even though I had a fairly even stream of visitors all day and I was sure to have more soon, I craved company. With Isobel in my arms we ventured out into the hall. The traffic on the clinic floor was always light, but right away I was stopped by my EI guards, a tall man named Jim and another man of similar height named Lenny. They made the usual comments one makes when one sees a newborn: so cute, what’s her name, how much does she weigh, yadda yadda yadda. They were questions and comments that I’d heard all day. I didn’t mind it, though. I loved the attention she got. I was a proud mommy with a big grin, until I saw a figure down the hall standing by the elevator. He was wearing a trench coat and had shaggy auburn hair.
“Nick?” I thought out loud and I strained my eyes to see if it was really him, but the man’s face was hidden behind the upturned collar of his long coat. “Excuse me,” I said to the guards and I started walking toward the man, but the elevator doors opened then. I wasn’t going to make it so I took the chance of scaring Isobel and looking foolish and yelled, “Nick!” But the man didn’t even look to see who was yelling. Gabriel and Alistair stepped out of the elevator and Mr. Trench Coat stepped in. If it was Nick, surly he would have wanted to meet his newborn niece even if he was still mad at me. Of course, my room was guarded by EI officers and he was wanted for murder. If it was Nick, he probably took one look at them and got back on the elevator. Damn it.