Now was as good a time as any. I just had to tell Eli that Ella was the interested Cowan, not me. I just had to reattach the connection between my mouth and brain, although the way he was looking down at me made that incredibly difficult. At least my hands – sweaty as they were – stayed well out of attempted touching range.
“I…” I cleared my throat and tried again. “I’m not interested, Eli. My sister, Ella–”
“I know who your sister is,” he said slowly, a hint of humour playing at the corner of his actually quite kissable lips.
Focus! “Good. So, she’s the…interested.” Oh my God, he’s coming closer!
Based on the wide smile that lit his face, I’d said that bit out loud. “Kissing you is a little hard from over here,” he replied as he edged closer.
It took my hand far too long to move to his chest and halt his progress. I even looked down for good measure. “Eli…” I breathed out, willing myself to get some control. “I’m serious,” I said softly.
I felt him take a step back and looked up to see he’d shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’d just like to point out that just because Ella’s apparently interested, that doesn’t mean you can’t be.”
I nodded, conceding that, then realised what he could infer from that. “No!” I said quickly. “No. I mean, you’re technically correct in theory, but in practice no. Just Ella.”
“And is there a reason why she’s not the one I’m in a supplies cupboard with?”
I huffed. “Believe me, we’d all rather it be her than me.”
“And if I don’t?”
I frowned at him for a moment. “Look, Ella wants you to ask her to the formal–”
“If she wants to go with me, why doesn’t she just ask me?”
Stupid, obstinate, headstrong butthole! “I don’t ask questions, Eli. I just do as I’m told–”
“That’s a dangerous way to live, Chloe. And if I told you to kiss me now?”
My frown was a little more long-lived this time. “I… You could try.”
The corner of his lip tipped up. “I just did and you stopped me.”
I groaned in annoyance. “The point is that I am only here to…encourage you to ask Ella to the formal.”
“In this particular cupboard?” he asked sceptically. “Does it have magic powers? You make a request and it comes true?” He looked around in faux-excitement.
I crossed my arms so I didn’t feel inclined to hit him. “Unlikely. Just… I’m not interested, okay? So you can stop with the…” I petered to a stop as he turned that honey gaze on me again. My heart didn’t just thud, it skipped, but not in a way that felt like a good thing.
“Is there something wrong with her?” he asked.
“With who?” I breathed.
“Ella.”
“Why?”
“If she’s sent you, then I’m going to assume there’s something wrong with her. I mean, she looks normal and all. But…is there like something under her dress or something?”
I frowned. Again. “Not that I’m aware of.”
“So why did she send you?”
I sighed, trying not to lose my shit with him again. “Because she did.”
“Is she just really good at hiding how nervous I make her?”
“Look. No offense, but her ego rivals yours. So, no. The both of you are too arrogant for anything to make you nervous.”
“That is so not true. I get nervous.”
“Pfft. Yeah. Sure.”
“Are we going to have another attempted negotiation?” he asked and we shared a split-second smile.
“No,” I told him firmly. “I’ve got a job to do.”
“You still haven’t actually explained why it’s your job to what…woo me for your older sister,” he pointed out.
I threw my arms in the air. “Because that’s my life, Eli. Okay? Ella does what Ella wants. Ella gets what Ella wants. But she never does any actual work for it because she has me to do it for her. So can you just do me this one favour and lay off flirting with me and just…I dunno, focus on her or whatever.”
He looked at me for what felt like the longest time, but was probably in actuality only a couple of heart beats. I felt totally naked under that deep, searching gaze. He was looking at me like he’d never seen me before. I’d expected to see teasing on his face, humoured disbelief at the least because outside a storybook who lives the sort of life I do? But there was none of that. He just watched me like he was trying to fit together a puzzle with some of the pieces missing.
My heart started thudding again and I had to break that awkwardness. “What?” I asked him.
“I’m just… Look. I was kinda taking the piss before. I’ll admit. Watching the way you reacted to me was…fun. But you’re serious about this Ella thing aren’t you?”
I nodded, feeling exposed and on the brink of humiliation. “Yes. I just… She’s interested. Very interested. Me? I’m…very not. I’m just the vanguard making sure it’s…safe or whatever for the princess. I’m the…opening act, priming for the main event. I’m the stand-in for the leading lady.”
Eli looked me over again and there still wasn’t any sign of teasing. “You really believe that?”
I nodded. “It’s my life, Eli.”
“I’ll make you a deal.”
My brows furrowed, not sure where this was going. “What kind of deal?”
“I won’t flirt with you…on purpose, if you tell me why you’re not interested.”
I swallowed. “Because Ella is.”
He looked down as he shook his head with a sad smile. “Please don’t tell me that’s the only reason.”
I frowned. “Why not?”
He looked up at me through his lashes. “Because a guy could get all sorts of hopes up if that was the only reason.”
I took a deep breath and managed to stop my mouth blurting out that he could hope all the hopes he wanted, because that was definitely not the only reason. Was it?
“You’re just not my type,” I told him.
“Which is either code for you’re a total snob or there is no other reason.” He grinned.
“You’re a serial flirt and don’t care what kind of heartbreak or mess you leave in your wake.”
He tipped his head to the side. “On the surface, maybe.”
“Because you’ve got a soft gooey centre?”
“You said it, not me.”
“What about Hailey?” I asked, suspiciously.
He shrugged. “I…suggested to her that if she was still with Jack then it would be better we didn’t go out.”
I crossed my arms, not believing it. “Really?”
He nodded. “She said they could not be going out…”
“And?” I pressed when he didn’t continue.
“I told her anything she had with Jack was worth more than I could give her.”
“Because all you want are one night stands?”
“I thought you weren’t going to get argumentative?”
I deflated. “Sorry.”
He blinked. “Why are you apologising?”
“Because I did say that. And I meant it too. You just…”
He gave me that crooked smile. “I just what?”
I huffed. “Nothing.”
“Look, for what it’s worth, I’m not going to lie and say the idea of one night stands don’t have a certain appeal. I’m a teenage boy who has the idea thrown at him from all angles on a daily basis. But there’s a difference between a girl you want to hook-up with and a girl you want to be with…”
“If you tell me you haven’t met the right girl yet, I might throw up,” I warned him.
He laughed. “I’d have no idea if I have.”
“But there’s a caveat on that statement.”
He nodded. “Sure there is.”
“Are you going to tell me what it is?”
He shrugged. “Maybe I’m not the right gu
y for the right girl yet.”
“Are you suggesting you have the power of growth and change within you?” I teased.
“And I don’t think I’m the only one.”
“I’m fine just the way I am. Thank you.”
“Are you?”
That felt far too poignant. We were delving into his insufficiencies, not mine. I shook myself out and looked around. “We should get back to Govi.”
“Yes,” Eli said almost sullenly. “We couldn’t possibly leave Govi waiting.”
I looked at him for a moment, wondering what that tone was. But I chose to let it go.
“Just find the card and a ream of printer paper.”
He saluted me. “Aye, aye, captain.”
I grabbed some glue, a couple of old ice cream containers, and some paintbrushes while Eli got the other things, then we headed back to Govi and our trees.
Govi had managed to get one trunk finished and was in the process of attaching the branches. He smiled as we walked over.
“I thought you guys had got lost,” he said.
I smiled back. “Nope. All good. We–”
“Had trouble finding the glue,” Eli finished and I looked at him quizzically.
“I’m surprised it wasn’t locked away to stop us degenerates huffing it,” Govi chuckled.
I snorted. “It would probably go well with Brenda’s magic mushrooms.”
Govi barked a loud laugh. “That it would. Here, give us a hand, would you? I need to grab some more tape.”
I climbed the ladder to take the branch from him and he ran off. I turned to see where he was going and my foot slipped. But Eli was there with a hand on me to steady me. I looked down at him and he swallowed.
“I… That wasn’t meant to be…”
I bit my lip in an effort not to smile. “An incomplete sentence?” I finished for him.
He gave me that half-smirk but, even though it was just as hot, it was a lot less cocky now. “I was going to say I wasn’t trying to… You know.”
I nodded. “I appreciate that. Thanks.”
He nodded as well. “I’d like to point out this is very unnatural for me, though.”
I laughed. “You want props for being a decent guy now?”
He sniffed and looked away to hide a smile. “Fair point.”
“Hey!” Govi cried excitedly as he came back. “There is physical contact occurring and Gin appears fully functional!”
I went bright red and flaming hot as Eli failed to stifle a laugh and I muttered, “Thanks, Govi…”
We all laughed together and went back to work.
It had to be said that the three of us worked well as a team. The boys were both tall so I took over possession of the ladder and they helped me with holding a branch, passing me paper, or holding up the container of papier-mâché mix. We talked about very little of interest, but we had fun and joked around as we came closer and closer to finishing our first tree. I felt more natural and less weird around Eli with Govi there and without the heavy flirtation Eli had aimed my way before.
So it was all going well until I misjudged my placement and dropped a soggy piece of paper on Eli’s head.
Govi and I looked at each other and then back at Eli, who had one eye closed against the glue that was dripping into his eye as the other glared at me in humoured annoyance.
“Gin…?” Govi said slowly.
“Yeah…?” I replied in kind.
“Is it just me or has Eli got a little…”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Eli uttered an ‘Oi,’ in protest and flung the soggy paper at his friend, who ducked but failed to avoid the projectile.
Govi scooped up a ball of newspaper and threw it back at Eli, who laughed and managed to duck out of the way. As he was lording it over Govi, the soggy piece of paper landed on his chest. Laughter cut short he looked down at it.
“Gin, little help?” Govi called in mock fear.
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m staying out of th–”
I looked down at my hip where the soggy piece of paper was now sitting, then back up to Eli. “Really?”
He nodded unapologetically. “Um. Yep. It seems so.”
The papier-mâché mix was sitting on the top of the ladder so I dipped my hand into it and flicked it at him. Govi packed out laughing as Eli looked at me in a poor attempt at angry.
“Is that how it’s going to be?” Eli laughed.
“Gin! Dump it!” Govi giggled and I looked at the container then at Eli.
“No! No! No!” Eli said as he reached to pull the container out of my reach.
I lunged for it at the same time and the ladder wobbled alarmingly. Eli tried to right it, but ended up pulling it the wrong way. We locked eyes for a second, then him, me, the ladder and the papier-mâché mix fell in a pile of laughter, added to by Govi.
“Oh, that was gold!” Govi hooted as I looked Eli and me over.
Papier-mâché mix had gone everywhere. On our clothes, the floor, the ladder.
“It’s a good thing we put down the extra newspaper,” Eli said, a smile in his voice.
I looked at him and realised just how close we were. “Yeah.”
“You okay?”
I nodded. “Yep.”
“Come on then,” Govi said, coming over and holding his hands out to me. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
I disentangled myself from Eli, with much cheek heating, and let Govi pull me up.
“Of course, we could just let it dry and peel it off?” Govi asked. His eyes suggested he was laughing at my predicament, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it.
We packed up as best we could, then headed for the bathrooms.
“Can we not forget the short meeting on Sunday please, people?” Milly called as we left. “I want to make sure everything’s ready for Monday! That goes for the rest of you, too.”
Quicksilver and Sweetness
I pulled into the school carpark on Sunday in a foul mood.
I’d tried to politely suggest to Ella that she could take an hour out of her day to go to the committee meeting, but she’d assured me that she just had to run through her lines for the play. My mother had then stepped in and ‘reminded’ me that it was a privilege to be part of something that no other Year Eleven was part of. I’d had the audacity to mutter that was because it wasn’t their jobs and been called ungrateful for all the opportunities I was given in my life.
So really, foul didn’t properly cover it.
I was indulging in a bit of a wallow, my music turned up loud while I was locked in my car before I went inside. I was lost enough in ‘Something Just Like This’ that it took me a moment to realise that the extra thudding wasn’t coming from Spotify, but on the car.
I stopped singing and opened my eyes. And what I saw made me smile.
Govi was tapping on the bonnet along to the beat like it was a drum and grinning while he sang along. When he saw me watching him he threw out his arms and took a bow. I turned the volume down and just heard his muffled shout of, “Chloe Cowan!”
I turned off the car, grabbed my stuff and got out.
“Something just like…this?” he asked cheekily and I laughed.
Nodding, I answered, “Definitely.”
“Oi, Slacks McGee!” someone called and I looked over to see two guys at a station wagon closer to the school building, with a third hunched over in the boot.
The someone who’d called out was a dark blond haired someone I recognised but didn’t know. Same with the black haired guy he was with. But when the one in the boot stuck his head out, it was Eli.
“Hold your damned horses!” Govi called back.
“That’s the way it’s gonna be, little darlin’!” the blond sang.
“We’ll be riding on the horses, yeah,” Eli joined in.
“Way up in the sky, little darlin’,” the guy with the black hair joined far less enthusiastically.
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“And if you fall, I’ll pick you up,” Govi joined and did just that to me, ignoring my yelp of surprise.
“Pick you up!” they all finished while I was trying to keep hold of my book and my bag.
“Oh my God,” I laughed as I dangled in Govi’s very capable arms. “That song is so old!”
“It is the Aussie pub song,” the blond said.
“It’s not,” the other guy said as Govi and Eli sighed, “Lake!” exasperatedly.
Lake shrugged. “What? It is!”
The guy with the black hair – who had to be Ramsey – frowned. “Do you want a repeat of me kicking your arse?”
Govi sniggered as he put me down. “Sorry boys, we don’t have three hours for Lake to fix his hair after.”
“Sorry,” Lake said, sparing a quick glare for Govi. “Who beat whose arse?”
“I distinctly remember…”
Govi swayed towards me and drowned out Lake and Ramsey’s argument. “I promise we love each other,” he assured me.
I nodded. “Of course you do.”
Govi leant his cheek on my head. “We’re like brothers. Hence, we fight like brothers. Sometimes I think the closer you are with someone the more often you fight with them. But the true test of that ironclad bond is…” He seemed to be waiting for something and I looked back at Lake and Ramsey.
After a few more moments of fighting, Ramsey pointed at Lake with a scoff and they both burst out laughing. Eli laughed with them, his smile becoming softer for a moment as he looked at me. Then Lake patted Ramsey’s arm and they both turned to help Eli get one of the big boxes out of the boot.
I watched them in confusion. “Is what?” I asked Govi.
“Is that when it’s over, nothing’s changed. Like you and Rica.” Govi touched his hand to my arm for a moment then went to help the boys.
I thought about that for a moment. I might not have known that in a familial sense, but he was right. Rica and I squabbled over things all the time – expressing differences of opinions and sometimes just for the sake of it – but I always considered them insignificant. We could argue over religion or sport or musicians or books and, no matter how heated or that – on closer inspection – we were actually discussing fundamental differences in life beliefs, we still thought the world of each other.
The Stand-In: my life as an understudy Page 10