And that right there was why he couldn’t give up on Cal. He saw the good that was in him and didn’t want Cal to be another casualty. Sebastian was a good man and he deserved someone that looked after others the way he did. I didn’t look out for others. I put them in danger because I only thought of me.
“You didn’t give up on Cal, though. You tried to help him.”
“Fat lot of good that did. I ended up getting him killed.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“Damn straight it was.”
“No, it wasn’t. It was my fault. I pushed to go along. I was the one that Cal jumped in front of to save. I was the one that just had to be a part of all the action! This was all my fault!” I yelled to keep from crying. My tears would not help anyone right now.
“It was his job. That’s what he signed on for. Same as in the military.”
“Then how could you say it was your fault?”
He turned away from me with a sneer, the first sign of his anger since I came downstairs. I knew I shouldn’t push. He’d been drinking and wasn’t in the right state of mind, but the investigator in me needed to know why he thought this was his fault.
“Tell me, Sebastian. You weren’t the one that Cal jumped in front of. You killed the man that shot him. You tried to save his life. How can you say this is your fault?”
“Because I couldn’t fucking see!”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Sebastian
“WHAT DO YOU mean, you couldn’t see?”
Her voice was soft and comforting. I didn’t deserve that right now. I had gotten my teammate killed. I should have been more aware. We cleared the warehouse, sure, but anyone could have been hiding. It was dark in there and we couldn’t see in every corner. I was so eager to find out what was being hidden that I wasn’t being as watchful as I should have been.
“Sebastian.”
I turned and looked at her. Her sweet face was red and swollen from all the crying she’d done. It broke my heart when she cried over Cal. She was out of her mind when he died and I had to pry her away from his body. When she slumped in my arms, the only thought I had was getting her back here and protecting her from all she had seen tonight.
I knew Cal had come to mean something to her when I heard them talking at dinner. He had been telling her the story of how his wife and child died and she had comforted him. I didn’t want to intrude on Cal finally talking to someone about it, so I went back to the bedroom to give them some time.
Cal hadn’t received much sympathy after his family was killed. Everyone understood where his head was, but that didn’t take away the sting of betrayal. It had taken me working with him again to truly understand how much his betrayal had hurt his soul. He had been an honorable man in an impossible situation and I let him down.
“Sebastian.”
I realized that Maggie had been saying my name for a good five minutes. I shook the alcohol from my brain and tried to clear the fog.
“Nothing. You should go back to sleep.”
“Not until you tell me what you meant.”
“Damn it, Freckles. Can you just listen to me?”
“No. You’re blaming yourself and I want to know why.”
“Aren’t you doing the same thing?” I snapped.
“I have a good reason. I was the one he jumped in front of.”
“And if you weren’t there, it would have been one of us. Either way, he’d probably still be dead because Cal would have jumped in front of me, too.”
“Then why do you feel guilty?” She pushed.
“Because I couldn’t see the guy!”
“No one saw him,” she shouted back at me.
“I should have seen him. This is why I’m not in the field anymore.”
She looked confused. “Is this because of your eye?”
“Ding, ding, ding.” I said mockingly. “I shouldn’t have been in the field. I have poor vision out of my left eye. The way I was standing, I should have been able to see the front door, but I couldn’t. Any other guy on my team would have seen it sooner.”
“No. Cal was standing to the left of you. He had a better angle and he would have seen first. If he didn’t see until the last minute, then you couldn’t have seen either.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m a liability out there.”
“Let me ask you something. When we walk somewhere, why do you always take my left side?”
“Because I can’t see out of my fucking eye. That’s the only way I can protect you.”
“So despite your vision problems, you still find a way to compensate and make sure I stay safe?”
“It’s not the same. I do what I have to, but that doesn’t mean that I’m the best person for the job. I should have assigned someone else.”
“But Darren insisted it be you.”
“And I should have fucking told him no.”
“And I would have been dead that first day. Maybe you do have a slight disadvantage, but you’ve kept me alive despite my lack of rule following abilities. This was not on you.”
“I’m the team leader. It will always be on me. If the guys can’t trust me to have their backs out there then I don’t belong out there!” I roared.
“Cal trusted you! Didn’t you hear those words he said to you? Do you think he would have said them if they weren’t true? He was dying. Why would he lie?”
Anger coursed through me with every word she spoke. She kept getting closer to me, pushing me toward an explosion. I gripped the back of my neck and closed my eyes, willing myself to reel in my anger before I hurt her.
“Freckles, you need to get out my face, right now.”
“No, I’m not backing down from you. You shouldn’t be punishing yourself for something that you couldn’t have avoided.”
“Get out of my face, Maggie! I don’t need your shit right now!”
I started pacing, trying to work down my anger so I didn’t do something stupid.
“You’re pissed because Cal died and I get that, but I think what upsets you more is that you weren’t able to save him.”
“Well, no shit, Sherlock. He died and I didn’t save him,” I yelled as I pounded my chest.
“Not what I meant. He died before you had a chance to prove to him that he deserved a second chance. You’re pissed because he died feeling like he let his whole team down and didn’t deserve to be a part of anything. But guess what? Nothing you could have said would have fixed him. If he wasn’t ready to accept what happened and accept that the team still wanted him, then nothing you said or did would have made him see it, and more than letting his team down, he let his family down.”
Bullshit. I grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her up against the wall, pinning her hands above her head. I was so mad right now that I didn’t trust myself not to hurt Maggie. Why did she have to keep pushing?
“Shut the fuck up. He didn’t let them down. He tried everything he could to save them. Sometimes there just isn’t anything you can do. Bad shit happens and no matter how hard you try, people still die.”
Her eyes turned sad and a single tear fell from her lash, rolling down her face. “Sometimes bad shit happens,” she whispered. “We both feel guilty, but we both need to let it go. Cal’s happy now. He’s with his family.” More tears fell over her beautiful cheeks. “Did you see him smile right before he died? He said Jenna’s name. He was going home to her, to see his wife and kids again. He was at peace. Let him be at peace.”
My anger deflated like a balloon and I pulled Maggie to me, wrapping her tightly in my arms. Her warm body soothed my aching soul. The tighter she held me, the more I needed her. I kissed her cheek over and over again as I told her how sorry I was for yelling at her. Her soft whimpers ceased as she looked up into my eyes and lifted up to press a gentle kiss on my lips.
A charge shot through me as I kissed her harder and deeper. I couldn’t get her close enough to me. I lifted her in my arms and carried her upstairs where I lai
d her down on the bed and lifted off her shirt as I kissed every inch of her perfect body. Her full breasts heaved with desire as I slowly released her bra and laved her rosy nipples with my tongue. Her moans urged me on as my erection grew painfully hard.
Kissing my way down her body, I slowly popped the button on her pants and lowered the zipper. As I pulled her jeans from her body, I kissed down each leg and back up until my mouth hovered over her panties.
“Please, Sebastian. Kiss me.”
I ran my tongue over her panties where her clit was. Her liquid heat could be felt through the thin material of her silky panties. I couldn’t get enough of her. I ripped the material from her body with a growl and dove back between her legs to taste her sweet honey. With every moan, I licked her and teased her with my tongue. It wasn’t until her sweet taste filled my mouth that I finally gave in to my desire and pulled myself from her.
I quickly rid myself of my clothes before settling back between her legs. Her face was flush with desire making me pause to really study the woman before me. She was everything I wanted and needed. She challenged me and drove me crazy, but she also calmed me. Her tenacity matched my own leaving me feeling like I had found my perfect match. I wasn’t sure if this was love, but I knew I didn’t want to let her go any time soon.
I slowly pushed inside her, watching her beautiful, vibrant, green eyes as they slowly drifted closed in pleasure. I rocked in and out of her slowly, cataloguing every breath and emotion that crossed her face. I pushed slow and deep, listening for the little catch of her breath when I thrust in to the hilt.
I felt her delicate, little hand reach behind our joined bodies and gently pull my balls.
“Oh, God. Maggie..”
Her eyes popped open and she stared at me with a slight smile. “You called me Maggie,” she said quietly. Then she smiled widely at me. “Don’t make a habit out of it.”
I bent down and kissed her long and deep, pouring all the love I was feeling into it. I wasn’t sure I was ready to say it, but I could damn well show her how much I needed her.
A few more thrusts and I was pulling out just in the knick of time and spilling my seed on her beautiful skin.
“Damn, I’m gonna have to start using condoms.”
“You know, you could take me back to my place to get my birth control.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Well, it may not be, but it’ll throw me off if I don’t get back on soon.”
“Alright. We’ll go over there in the morning. How’s your head?” I felt the small bump on her head, seeing her wince as I ran my fingers over it.”
“Okay. Just a small headache.”
“Let’s get some sleep. It’ll feel better in the morning.”
I didn’t like the idea of going to sleep right now, not when there was no one else here to keep watch, but I needed some sleep. I had Rob staying at the office to watch the monitors since no one could get out here until tomorrow afternoon. My phone was next to me and he would alert me the moment anything seemed suspicious.
I pulled Maggie back against me and wrapped my arms around her. I couldn’t wait for this case to be over so we could both move on, hopefully together.
✯✯✯✯✯
“So, let me get this straight. Your neighbor, Aggie, has a thing for your other neighbor, Harry, but they’re both in their seventies and neither is making a move?”
“Something like that. Neither will admit it, but every time Harry’s around, Aggie starts fluffing her feathers.”
I looked at her in confusion. “What does that even mean?”
“It means she’s preening for him, you know, she’s trying to make herself presentable for him. Then he gets all macho and starts puffing out his chest, which is pretty funny when you see a seventy year old do that. They should just get together already. It’s disturbing to watch old people flirt.”
“Why would that be disturbing? Are you going to stop having sex when you get old?”
“No, of course not, but I don’t want to imagine all the wrinkles and things..drooping. It can’t be very attractive.”
Images of my grandma and grandpa floated through my mind and suddenly I was seeing my half naked grandparents kissing passionately. A shudder ran through me as I tried to wipe the image from my brain.
“Enough said. I think that’s enough for my imagination for one day.”
She laughed at me and I glanced over to see her gorgeous green eyes light up. Damn, she took my breath away. Realizing that I was staring at her when I should be paying attention to the road, I cleared my throat and paid extra special attention to the yellow lines in front of me.
We pulled up in front of her house a few minutes later and I shut off the engine as I looked at her house. There was a board over her front window, but other than that, everything appeared fine.
The front door of the house to her right opened and a man dressed in trousers with suspenders and a white t-shirt stepped out holding a shotgun. From this distance, I was guessing a Remington 1100, a decent shotgun.
My eyes drifted to movement in the house to her left. The curtains moving gave way to the fact that she had some very nosy neighbors. I couldn’t say that made me totally unhappy given her penchant for trouble.
“Looks like your neighbors are here to greet you.”
“Yeah, they’re quite nosy, but they mean well. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”
I put my hand on her arm, stalling her movement. “Wait. I’ll take you to Harry’s house and you can wait with him while I check out your house.”
She rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue. Finally. We walked over to where Harry was staring at me with murder in his eyes. He took in where my hand was holding Maggie’s and narrowed his eyes.
“Boy, you want to tell me what you think you’re doing on my property?”
“Just dropping Freckles off with you so I can check out her house.”
“That true, Girlie?”
“It’s fine, Harry. Will you two put your guns away?”
Since I didn’t have mine out, I could only assume that she was talking about a different weapon.
“Do you know how to use that thing?” I asked Harry.
“Of course I do, you shithead. You point it at the bad guy and pull the trigger.”
Not quite that simple, but he was obviously busting my balls. Still I wanted to see just how protective he was of Maggie.
“It’s a nice gun. I just wanted to make sure you actually knew how to use it and it wasn’t just decoration.”
“Boy, I served my country long before you even had hair on your ass.”
“What branch?”
“Marines.”
“Oohrah!”
“Served for nine years, mostly in Vietnam, lance corporal. You?”
“Ten years in Iraq and Afghanistan. Captain.”
Harry stared me down for a minute before nodding. “Come inside, girlie.” Maggie handed me her house keys and then walked toward the door. Harry stepped to the side so Maggie could pass, but turned back to me.
“Haven’t seen anything since she’s been gone, but then I ain’t as quick as I used to be.”
I nodded and walked over to Maggie’s house, pulling my weapon as I approached her door. I quietly unlocked it and pushed the door in, scanning the house. There were still small specks of glass on the floor, but otherwise it looked pretty clean. If someone broke in here, they didn’t leave any traces behind. I cleared each room, then holstered my weapon and grabbed Maggie’s birth control pills that were laying on the bathroom counter before making my way back to Harry’s.
Maggie was sitting at the kitchen table when I walked in, sipping coffee and looking through a photo album.
“It’s all clear.”
“Hello?” An older woman’s sing song voice came from the front. “Harry, did I see Maggie come in here?”
The three of us made our way to the living room where an old lady stood running her little hands
over her hair. She flushed when we walked in.
“Maggie, dear. It’s good to see you doing well.” She turned to Harry and gave a cute, little smile. “Harry, you look well today.”
Harry seemed to grow three sizes bigger as he straighten his back. “Did three laps around the neighborhood this morning.”
“I saw. You need to watch it or old Mrs. Craggle will pounce on you. She’s had her eye on you ever since Mr. Sims broke his hip a few months ago.”
He growled low in his throat. “That old hen is crazy if she thinks I’d ever fancy her. Who dyes their hair silver? It’s just not normal. I prefer my ladies to have a natural look,” he said as he raised an eyebrow at her.
“Well, I have a feeling that’s not the only thing about her that’s fake. Have you seen her t-”
“Aggie! Please. We do not need to hear the rest of that sentence,” Maggie said desperately.
“Dear, you need to get your head out of the gutter. I was going to say her teeth. They’re obviously false teeth.” She turned with a smile to Harry. “I still have all mine.”
“You know, I just saw the doc and got the all clear for more..strenuous exercise.”
“Really? Maybe we’ll have to go down to that new gym and try out those exercise balls. They’re supposed to be great for stretching.”
“And maybe relax a little in the hot tub when we’re done. I hear it’s a good way to wind down after exercise.”
“As long as you promise to walk me home afterward. I would hate to be all alone, you know, in case I got a leg cramp and needed you to rub it out.”
Good God, this was like watching old people soft porn. The way they were looking at one another, we needed to leave before one of them broke a hip trying to mount the other. Luckily, my phone rang interrupting the strange old people foreplay.
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