I thought I’d had butterflies in my stomach when I’d looked at him in the past, or when he’d said the words “I love you” to me, but nothing compared to this. It was as if a million of them had been released and were working their way up through my body, making me feel like I was floating above the ground. I swayed on my heels and he reached out immediately with his right hand to grip my waist and steady me, leaving barely any space between us as I looked up at him, all blushing schoolgirl in love. I’d rehearsed my vows over and over and didn’t care what anyone else thought of them, I’d written them so that Gabe would understand what they meant, he’d know what I was trying to say.
‘Gabriel Austin. When you found me, I was a worthless chassis, underneath my bonnet was a heart that was just an empty shell, incapable of love, but you rebuilt me. You pieced me back together and filled my heart with so much love it aches every time I look at you. You were the jump leads that I needed to restart me and I never believed I could ever hurt so much when we are apart. I love you, I treasure you and I’m going to keep loving you for the rest of my life and try to give you everything that you ever dreamed of because you deserve it, you deserve to be as happy as you make me every second of every day,’ I looked up at him as I felt tears trickling down my cheeks, my bottom lip wobbling with as much emotion as I could see reflected back in his own face. He let me go for a second and wiped his eyes again before I slipped the platinum wedding band, set with a single black diamond onto his finger. ‘I love you Gabe, you’re my engine, everywhere I go you’re with me, you drive me. I was proud to be your girlfriend, but I’ll be even prouder to be your wife and one day, I hope, the mother of your children. I’m yours, without reservation, for life.’
‘O baby,’ he sighed and hauled me against him and kissed me, knocking the air from my lungs with the passion in it. We broke apart laughing and wiped our eyes as Doug started hollering behind us.
‘He hasn’t actually said “you may now kiss the bride” yet, Gabe.’
‘Sorry,’ muttered Gabe with a quick look at our registrar, who just smiled.
‘I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.’
I giggled as everyone started clapping when Gabe swept me into a Hollywood kiss and didn’t come up for air for over a minute.
‘I love you, Mrs. Austin,’ he murmured against my lips and I melted in his arms.
I tore myself away from my conversation with Gerry as Gabe squeezed my hand under the table and I turned to look at him. I took in a sharp breath as his ecstatic face smiled at me, I don’t think I’d ever seen him look so happy and relaxed.
‘What can I do for you, husband?’
‘Wife,’ he grinned. ‘I haven’t had a minute alone with you all night.’
‘I know,’ I sighed. It was amazing having everyone here, but I really just wanted to spend a few hours in his arms, on our own. ‘Gabe, what you’ve done today I …’ I sighed as I felt myself tearing up again. We’d had champagne with canapés of caviar and smoked salmon blinis, some without caviar just for me, goats cheese crostini and blue cheese and pear on tiny crackers before an amazing meal of scallops in lemon butter, sorbet, tranches of fresh Scottish salmon in hollandaise sauce with asparagus, fine green beans and parmier potatoes and more sorbet. I’d squealed with delight and clapped when they brought out a towering Croquembouche of choux buns filled with French patisserie, drizzled in caramel sauce and covered in spun sugar with lit sparklers sticking out of it. It had been our wedding cake, as Gabe knew I wouldn’t have wanted a traditional one. ‘It’s been the most perfect day I could ever have imagined.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes,’ I nodded vehemently. ‘The décor, the food, you all co-ordinated I …’ I broke off as I smiled at him.
‘Baby,’ he sighed and kissed me again. ‘I’m so glad you’re happy. I was seriously restrained, just to please you.’
‘You do please me Gabe, more than anyone ever has.’ I lifted his left hand and gently pulled off his ring and handed it to him. ‘I had it engraved inside for you.’
‘You did?’ he smiled. ‘I did yours too.’
We burst out laughing when we read the virtually identical inscriptions in our rings. I’d put “Forever & an Engine, all my love Mia x” and he’d put “To my forever, your Engine. Gabe xx.”
‘I’m so happy,’ I whispered.
‘Good, me too. I can’t wait to whisk you away this evening to make love to you and give you your birthday presents. Can’t we just go now?’
‘I’d love that, but our families are here.’
‘We’re spending tomorrow with them.’
‘We are?’
‘Yes, we’re having our Christmas Day lunch in here, all together and then nibbles in the evening. Then we’re leaving the morning of Boxing Day for our honeymoon, just the two of us, baby.’
‘I can’t wait,’ I grinned as I pecked his lips again, but he held his hand behind my head and made it last.
‘God, put her down for a minute son,’ laughed Robert.
‘Robert, leave them be, they’re happy,’ giggled Sofia as she slapped his arm.
‘Ok, who’s for some dancing?’ asked Doug as he stood.
‘Yes please, I need to wear off some of this meal,’ laughed Mum. Gabe hauled me up and led me to the far side of the lake house, where there was a small clear area to act as a dance floor as Doug fiddled with his iPod on the dock and we had our first dance to “How long will I love you” by Ellie Goulding, as Mum and Sofia started crying again.
‘Our song,’ I smiled up at Gabe.
‘Our song,’ he confirmed as he spun me around.
‘Our other song,’ I giggled as he looked surprised when Etta James “At Last” started playing. ‘I picked this one, you’re not the only one who had Doug on the wedding music mix mission.’ Gabe suddenly sighed and buried his face in my neck. ‘Gabe?’
‘I’m sorry, I just … I wish Mum was here to see this.’
‘I wish she was too,’ I whispered as I kissed his hair and stroked the back of his neck. ‘She’d have been so proud of you Gabe, you’re an amazing man and you’re going to be an amazing husband. I love you so much.’
‘Come on Gabe, it’s time for Mia to dance with her old man, you have the rest of your life with her,’ interrupted Gerry.
‘Sure.’ Gabe smiled as he straightened up and I saw him pull himself together quickly. I flashed him a reassuring smile. I’d been worried about him all morning, having the wedding on the anniversary of Tabby’s death meant that he’d missed his annual ritual with his dad visiting her grave today. Robert, Sofia, Gabe and I had all gone two days ago. It had been an emotional experience for all of us, with Sofia and I heading back to the car to leave the two men to have some time alone with her after. Gabe and Robert had insisted they were fine and that Tabby would have been happy to know that Gabe was spending the day celebrating, instead of mourning her, but I knew a small piece of each of them was hurting still.
The party was in full swing with everyone dancing and laughing when Lexi suddenly screamed and I looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway, with his guitar in his hand. She ran over to him and kissed him and I wasn’t the only one who saw Doug wince. He headed out to the balcony, his camera still around his neck.
‘Let me,’ I advised as Gabe went to follow him. I pulled the bi-fold door shut behind me and shivered as the crisp air hit me. That log fire roaring in the room behind had made me forget how cold it was out here. I leaned on the bannister next to Doug and gently shoulder bumped him.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey you,’ he smiled. ‘So best birthday ever?’
‘Hell yeah,’ I grinned. ‘He’s going to have trouble topping this one next year.’
‘You look stunning, Mia. I’m so happy for you both.’
‘Thanks. So how are you doing?’
‘Bloody lousy,’ he sighed as he quickly looked behind us into the room. ‘Part of me misses Sarah, part of me … shit.’
‘Misses Lexi?’
‘Yeah,’ he nodded with a guilty look back at me.
‘Do you love Sarah?’
‘I think so, but Lexi’s still in here as well,’ he frowned as he put his hand over his heart. ‘I thought I was doing ok until he just turned up. She was so happy to see him.’
‘Probably just so happy to know she was having sex again tonight,’ I advised him. ‘He’d said he couldn’t make the wedding so even I’m surprised he’s here. She’s ended it with Dan, you know.’
‘Really?’ he looked at me surprised.
‘She didn’t love him Doug, and she doesn’t love Sam. It’s purely physical, she’s still not over you either.’
‘Don’t tell me that Mia, I’m trying to move on, I was moving on. I can’t wait forever, you know?’
‘I know, but I don’t want to see you all unhappy. Not today. It’s Christmas Eve, it’s my birthday and it’s my wedding day. If that’s not reason to set aside your woes and celebrate I don’t know what is.’
‘Come on then, if twat face is going to bloody play the guitar and sing and show me up, I’m going to slot in a dance at some stage with the prettiest girl in the room tonight.’
‘Just tonight? Charming,’ I winked. ‘And “twat face?” Seriously?’
‘Well, look at him with his rock star good looks and all his bloody money. He’s probably flown over in his private jet and now he’s going to bloody sing and play guitar and make me feel even more inadequate?’
‘Ok, I’ll go with twat face for tonight, just for you, Doug.’
‘Cheers, Mrs. A.’
‘Mrs. A! Holy shit, I’m married,’ I giggled.
‘Yes you are and he’s pacing in there already, throwing looks our way. You’ve got him whipped, Mia.’
‘No, but I’m thinking I could role play one night and dress up dominatrix style with an actual whip, that would put a smile back on his face.’
‘Stop with the visuals,’ he laughed as he opened the door and we stepped back into the warmth. ‘Right, I need to get seriously pissed. Love you, Mrs. A.’
‘Love you too, Doug,’ I smiled and kissed his cheek before heading over to Gabe.
‘Baby you’re freezing,’ he frowned as he rubbed his hands up and down my bare arms. ‘Do you want a drink? We have a fully stocked self-service bar,’ he nodded to the corner.
‘I’d love a Baileys or two.’
‘Your wish is my command, come on, you haven’t had a chance to meet Doug’s parents. Come and sit by the fire and say hello, they were really good to me as a kid. I’ll go get your drink.’
‘Where’s Lexi?’ I asked as Gabe told me he was ready to leave everyone to it. I was more than happy to agree. Watching him all night in his suit, with that happy smile all over his face had me swooning every time I looked over at him.
‘She went to pack an overnight bag for you.’
‘Why? Aren’t you moving into the suite with me tonight?’
‘No, that was never the plan, besides Lexi’s staying in there with Sam, we’re spending the next two nights somewhere else. Not too far away, but far enough that no one can interrupt us until we’re ready to see them.’
‘I’ll go find her then, see you in a minute.’ I pursed my lips for a kiss and carefully made my way up to the hotel, being stopped by everyone I passed in the main hotel who wanted to congratulate me and tell me how stunning my dress was. I rummaged in my bag for my room key and opened the door and froze, unsure of what I was seeing in front of me on my bed. There was a tangle of limbs, and I was sure that there were too many. As it suddenly registered who and what I was seeing my eyes went wide as saucers. ‘Shit,’ I uttered as I closed my eyes and spun around to face the door.
‘Mia?’ came Lexi’s horrified voice.
‘Yes, sorry, I needed my bag, Gabe’s ready to go. I’ll wait outside while you … whatever.’ I quickly opened the door and stepped out into the corridor, closing it behind me. Had I really just seen what I thought I’d seen? Sam, Lexi and Doug in a threesome? I put my fingertips to my temples as I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Lexi and Sam I could believe would do something like that, but Doug? I never thought sweet Doug was the cheating kind for starters, let alone to do that. I heard the door behind me and a sigh.
‘Mia, God I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise, it’s nothing to do with me.’
‘I know but … shit.’
‘Do you have my bag?’ I asked as I deliberately kept my back to her as I tried to take a calming breath.
‘Yes. Are you going to look at me?’
‘I’m not sure I can Lexi, not after … what were you thinking?’
‘I wasn’t. Sam suggested it, Doug was drunk and up for it and I miss him, so I thought why the hell not?’
‘Lexi,’ I sighed.
‘I’m fucking single Mia, I don’t need your permission to have sex with whoever I want.’
‘You’re playing with fire, Lexi,’ I scowled as I spun around to look at her. She wrapped her arms around herself as she stood there in the hotel dressing gown. ‘You know that Doug’s still in love with you, you don’t think he wasn’t already hurting to see Sam turn up here tonight and now you stick him in … in the middle of that.’
‘He’s a grown man, he could have said no.’
‘He’s also a taken man. He’s never cheated on anyone before and you’ve just made a cheater out of him. What about Sarah too? She’s our friend now. I just can’t believe how selfish you’re being.’
‘Selfish?’ she scowled as she placed her hands on her hips.
‘Yes, selfish. You’re putting your own needs above everyone else’s feelings. You want a threesome fine, do whatever the hell you want sexually, go have a bloody orgy for all I care, but don’t fuck around with our best friend who’s already taken and still hurting over you, you’ve taken advantage of him in a drunk emotional state. You think he’s going to wake up in the morning happy about this? Happy that you used him for a bit of a thrill? Not knowing that you’re going to tell him in the morning that you’re still not ready for more and then leave him with a broken heart as well as a belly full of guilt? Did you even think how that may affect him or his relationship with Sarah? Or all of our relationships as friends?’
‘I don’t need a fucking parental style lecture, thanks very much,’ she spat.
‘Well, if you didn’t act like a bloody child I wouldn’t need to give you one. You’re still in love with Doug Lexi, it’s time you grew up and acted like an adult and took ownership of that and either leave him to move on without you if you’re still not ready, or bloody step up and commit to him.’
‘Fuck you, just because you’re all bloody happy don’t be coming up here to rub my face in it,’ she hissed.
‘Fuck me?!’ I gasped.
‘Yes, all self fucking righteous just because you’ve found Mr. Perfect and you’re life’s all fucking wonderful.’
‘I’m “fucking self-righteous?” You’re bang out of order now, Lexi. I met someone that I love and I am happy. It’s my wedding day and I won’t bloody apologise for being happy today of all days, so don’t you dare accuse me of rubbing your face in it, you’re supposed to be happy for me, that’s the job of a best friend. You’ve been supportive of my relationship with Gabe from the start, so where the hell is this coming from?’
‘Everything comes so easy to you, Mia. You have your family, you’re the perfect fucking daughter, girlfriend and student and everyone loves you and you sail along happily. You don’t know what it’s like to live in that perfect bloody shadow.’
‘O my God, Lexi. I’m on the verge of slapping you,’ I seethed as I glared at her. ‘Everything does not come so easy to me. My own father isn’t here, at my own damn wedding to give me away, so I’m hardly the perfect daughter. He didn’t even ring to see if I was ok after what happened and it’s not like he wouldn’t have seen my face all over the bloody news. I work bloody hard to keep my g
rades up, everyone doesn’t love me and how dare you say I sail along happily after … everything that I’ve been through since we moved to Westhampton. I’m fucked up inside, I probably can’t give Gabe the one thing he wants most in life and that’s eating me up. I’ve gone through hell with him after his accident, then his diagnosis and recovery for twelve months and I just lost one of my best friends after some fucking psycho …’ I broke off and wiped my tears away. What the hell was wrong with her? I’d never felt so let down and hurt by anyone in my whole life.
‘Shit, I’m sorry, Mia,’ she whispered as her face fell.
‘Give me my bloody bag,’ I snapped and snatched it out of her hand. ‘Go and enjoy your screwing around, but don’t come running to me when it all goes tits up and you’re upset and in tears, because that’s how this is all going to end Lexi, along with the six of us being friends. Go and do whatever the hell you want because tonight I don’t care. I am happy and if you can’t handle that then that’s your problem. If my perfect life is too much for you then from now on if I need someone I’ll turn to Gabe.’
‘Mia, I …’
‘What the bloody hell is going on?’ roared Gabe as he stepped out of the lift and took one look at my tear streaked face and our body language.
Infinite Love (The Austin Series) Page 11