Infinite Love (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘I’d imagine not. Now, I am transferring the property in New York over to your name as well. You can use it if you chose to come and work with me while you are required over here, or simply as a holiday home for when you both come to visit us. I’ll be moving in with her as it’s more suitable to our needs,’ he advised and I saw him flick a glance Sofia’s way.

  ‘Dad, you’re not dying are you?’ Gabe asked, his voice full of concern.

  ‘No.’ Robert roared with laughter. ‘Just having a spring clean of my finances with getting married. But that does bring me nicely onto point four. My will. The properties in Westhampton and New York are now yours and if I were to die you would inherit majority controlling shares in Austin, Turner & Finch as part of my business assets, but I hope you appreciate that I need to factor Sofia into my personal finances now.’

  ‘Yes, of course I do, I mean you’ve just handed me property worth about four million pounds and a company worth a few million too, I’m not going to complain about your personal finances, Dad.’

  ‘We need to work on your valuation skills, Gabriel,’ Robert laughed again. ‘You can’t afford to underestimate like that in business.’

  ‘I think I need some water,’ I interrupted. ‘Sorry, this is all a bit much.’

  ‘Allow me,’ smiled Sofia and stuck her head out of the door to attract the bar staffs attention.

  ‘So, my will. I will alter it to leave a fifty-fifty split if that is alright with you?’

  ‘Yes of course Dad, but I don’t need anymore. I don’t mind you leaving it all to Sofia.’

  ‘Sofia doesn’t need any of it either and was quite adamant that she didn’t want to be included. Weren’t you, darling?’ he asked he smiled up at her.

  ‘Yes, I told him to leave me out of it. I have been upfront with Robert about my finances and he was rather intimidated to know that I was better off than his is,’ she giggled as she kissed the top of his head.

  ‘Then I don’t understand,’ Gabe replied with a look of confusion on his face, which reflected that on my own.

  ‘Hmmm, yes point five rather aptly. Shall I?’ he asked looking over at Sofia. She smiled and nodded and reached for his hand over the table. ‘I sincerely hope that we are not about to cause you both distress given what you have both been through recently and in the past,’ he nodded at Gabe. ‘But I intend to split my will to ensure that all of my children are covered in it equally.’

  ‘I’m still not with it. You’re telling me I have a brother or sister out there somewhere?’

  ‘O,’ I gasped as I realised what was happening and looked over at Sofia. She gave me an apologetic smile.

  ‘Gabriel I …’ his dad stopped and blew out a breath as he ran his hand through his hair, obviously worried about vocalising the fact, and Sofia bit her lip as she looked at me.

  ‘Gabe,’ I hooked my fingers under his chin and turned his face toward me. ‘You don’t have a brother or sister out there somewhere, your dad is trying to tell you that Sofia is pregnant,’ I said softly as I held his gaze. His eyes widened as he looked at me and I tried to work out if it was a good reaction or not. I kissed him and let go and he quickly looked at his dad.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Yes, she’s eight weeks, so early days and no one else knows and we’d like to keep it that way, at least until she’s had the scan and tests. I’m so sorry to break it to you like this after … after everything.’ He reached over and squeezed my hand and I gave him a grateful smile. We all looked up as Gabe’s chair suddenly scrapped back and he stood up and I took a deep breath prepared for the fall out.

  ‘O my God,’ he uttered. ‘I’m going to be a big brother? That’s bloody fantastic.’ I burst out laughing and Robert and Sofia looked at each other and let out a sigh of relief. Gabe quickly walked around to where Sofia was sitting and she slowly stood up. ‘You were worried about telling me your news? Again!’ he exclaimed.

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘You’ve already lost one sibling and you and Mia are trying so hard to have your own, it just didn’t seem fair.’

  ‘I’m dealing with the past Sofia and the problems Mia and I are having are ours, please don’t let it ruin your happy news. I’m so pleased for you both.’ He gave her a big hug and I saw her wiping her eyes over his shoulder.

  ‘Congratulations Robert,’ I smiled as we stood up and we gave each other a hug.

  ‘Are you really ok with this?’ he whispered.

  ‘I am, people all around the world are having babies, I can’t sulk about them all. Besides, I get to be cool Aunt Mia without all the hassle.’

  ‘Think again, Mia,’ Sofia laughed. ‘I plan on convincing you both to move to New York so I can have you on tap for all of the hassle.’

  ‘Wow, I knew there was an evil step-mother-in-law under that nice facade,’ I laughed as Gabe and I swapped over so I could give her a hug. Some water was brought in for us and we sat down and she took my hands in hers as Gabe and his dad chatted.

  ‘I’m so sorry Mia, it is such bad timing.’

  ‘Please don’t Sofia, I could be trying forever and you can’t keep stalling waiting for me. I’m so happy for you both. Was it planned?’

  ‘Yes, but …’

  ‘You didn’t expect to get caught so quickly?’

  ‘O Mia, this doesn’t seem right.’

  ‘Nonsense, but if you keep getting caught and spewing them out and I’m still struggling you can throw one my way,’ I grinned.

  ‘That sounds just like something Lexi would say,’ she laughed.

  ‘You’re the second person to say that to me tonight, should I be worried?’ I laughed. ‘So when are you due?’

  ‘Sometime late January,’ she smiled. ‘I’m not showing yet, thank goodness.’

  ‘How are you feeling? Morning sickness, cravings?’

  We sat chatting until there was a knock on the door and Doug poked his head around.

  ‘Sorry to interrupt, everyone was wondering where the guests of honour had disappeared to.’

  ‘Sorry Doug, we’ll be right out,’ advised Robert and waited for the door to close before turning back to us. ‘Well, I’ll have all this paperwork sent over to you, you should get a lawyer to check it out,’ he winked and Gabe laughed. ‘If you can please try and keep the pregnancy under your hats, especially from Doug, you know what he’s like with secrets.’

  ‘No problem. We’ll see you back in there, I’d just like a few minutes with Mia,’ Gabe said as his dad gathered up the papers.

  ‘See you in a moment,’ smiled Sofia and they headed out.

  ‘Are you really ok?’ we both asked each other at the same time and started laughing.

  ‘Sorry, you go first,’ he smiled as he sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

  ‘No you, this is a double whammy for you.’

  ‘I’m really happy for them, I always regretted never having a brother or sister and now I get to have one when I’m all grown up. I can teach them things and they’ll look up to me. I’ve think I’ve come to terms with the past.’

  ‘What about the present?’

  ‘I won’t lie, it stings a bit. Especially as they didn’t expect it to happen so quickly and here’s us trying so hard,’ he sighed. ‘Is that really horrible of me?’

  ‘No, I understand exactly where you’re coming from. I don’t begrudge anyone having a baby, and I’m genuinely excited for them, but it does hurt a little that we can’t.’

  ‘It’s not final Mia, we’re going to try again. Why don’t we try next month? Imagine if you did get pregnant, you’d have someone to share it with.’

  ‘That would be nice,’ I nodded. ‘But also a little freaky, you’d have a sibling the same sort of age as your own child.’

  ‘Maybe that’s why we weren’t meant to have one before. Our son or daughter would have been older than their Aunt or Uncle.’

  ‘Ok stop, that’s one mind fuck that’s just freaking me out,’ I laughed.

  ‘God I love you so much
, you’re so brave,’ he sighed as he ran his fingers through my hair.

  ‘So are you, it’s just as hard for you going through this with me. You want this baby just as much as I do.’

  ‘We’ll get there Mia, one way or another, it will be us one day,’ he said confidently as he smiled and kissed me. I kissed him back and closed my eyes, not letting him see the fear in mine that I really wondered if it ever would be our turn.

  Summer

  We were approaching the back end of the summer holidays. I’d refused to go away for a long break, wanting to be on top of my studies ready for our final year and to keep running my classes at Greyson’s. It was going exceedingly well, our projections for profit on alcohol had been nowhere near the amounts we were actually making, the staff all seemed happy with their working environments and our waiting list was growing by the day. Robert had signed over the house in Westhampton and, naturally, Gabe had wasted no time in calling in Tom the Architect to discuss knocking the kitchen diner through to his dad’s old lounge and reconfiguring the kitchen, so that we’d have one huge family room, keeping Gabe’s lounge as the formal one. He was also talking of turning the front guest bedroom, opposite his, into a nursery and I’d had to beg him to slow down. I didn’t want to jinx anything by getting too ahead of ourselves. The structural alterations were with the planner, along with an extension to the Orangery to add on a home gym and dance studio for me.

  The New York apartment was now also in Gabe’s name and we’d had one week over there to order some new accessories, linen and furniture. I’d insisted I was not putting up with Robert’s designer sofa, and we were keeping Robert’s room for the guest room and making it a bit less masculine and more homely. We’d spent time with Sofia, who was really showing by now, and her pregnancy was right on track with no complications so far. Other than Lexi and Mum, Sofia was the only person I confided in about my health. I’d tried to hide how painful my periods were again from Gabe. I hated that he constantly worried about me all the time and didn’t want to cause any additional stress. I was dreading coming on again next week, as if the daily agony and tiredness weren’t bad enough, I then had the added pressure of another round of egg extractions and implants and the agonising wait to see if we could get pregnant. “Third time lucky,” Gabe kept telling me, and I so wanted to believe that it was true.

  We sat in Dr. Walker’s waiting room again, and unlike last time we sat in silence. I could feel the nervous tension radiating off Gabe and as I felt the same. I had no idea what to say to reassure him that it was going to be ok if I wasn’t pregnant, because I knew that there was nothing that he could say to me to make it easier. We just sat holding hands tightly, Gabe’s knee bobbing up and down as he tapped his foot on the floor and me biting my thumbnail avoiding eye contact with the other pregnant women flashing sympathetic looks our way now and again.

  ‘Mr. & Mrs. Austin,’ called Dr. Walker. I looked at Gabe and he blew out a deep breath and nodded. We walked in and took a seat, our fingers still tightly wrapped around each other’s. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t available to do your extraction and implant this time around,’ she advised. We’d had a Dr. Shelby instead, she wasn’t as friendly as Dr. Walker and not been as comfortable seeing her. ‘So Mia, how are you feeling?

  ‘Nervous,’ I replied, thinking what a stupid question to ask me at this particular moment in time.

  ‘No more pelvic pain since your ruptured cyst?’ she asked. Damn it. Hiding the truth from Gabe was one thing, lying to our doctor was another thing altogether.

  ‘I, ermmm … I’ve been finding my periods rather difficult actually,’ I replied quietly and gulped as Gabe whipped his head around to give me one of his looks.

  ‘In what way?’

  ‘A lot of low back and stomach pain, stabbing pains in my side as if I’m being run through with a hot poker, nausea, sickness and extreme fatigue.’ I felt Gabe’s hand crushing mine, letting me know how unhappy he was.

  ‘Well, I’m sorry to advise that this round has failed again, you’re not pregnant. I conferred with Dr. Well’s after your admittance to hospital back in May and we are in agreement that not only are your cycles causing your condition to continue to progress, but the stimulants that we’re providing you with are exacerbating the issue and leaving you at risk of more cysts that could either rupture again or require repeated surgeries to remove them.’

  ‘What are you saying Dr. Walker?’ asked Gabe as I looked at the ceiling. Why did this keep happening to us?

  ‘I’m saying that I’m not convinced that the IVF treatment is beneficial to Mia’s overall health, which is why …’

  ‘You want me to stop?’ I gasped in horror. This was it, this was the only way I was ever going to be able to give birth to Gabe’s child and she was telling me that she didn’t want me to carry on? I felt Gabe’s thumb stroking the back of my hand as he ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath.

  ‘The decision has to be yours, Mia. It’s your body. I would maybe suggest going back on the pill for a few months while you consider your options.’

  I looked over at Gabe to see him frowning. As far as he was concerned there were no other options.

  ‘Are you up to the party? Do you think we ought to cancel?’

  ‘Gabriel Austin,’ I chastised as I got dressed. ‘It’s your twenty-first birthday party, you’ll cancel over my dead body.’

  ‘But if you’re not feeling up to it,’ he protested.

  ‘Gabe, I’m not ill, I’m just upset, and all our family and friends are coming. I’ve been looking forward to seeing them all together as well.’

  ‘But you were so looking forward to sitting and grilling Sofia if you were…’ he sighed.

  ‘I know,’ I nodded. ‘It will be our time next time. It has to be our time next time. I don’t know how many failed attempts I can endure, Gabe,’ I whispered. He came and gave me big hug.

  ‘Who’d have thought the girl I spotted two years ago and battled to get her to go out with me would be so desperate for a baby?’ he said gently as he kissed my hair. I had to let this go, we could try again, I was just so disappointed. I needed to be strong for him, he was hurting too and he didn’t need to worry about me.

  ‘Whatever.’ I teased him with a roll of my eyes and he kissed my cheek.

  I wore my white and gold feather dress to the party. Gabe was in his navy suit with a white shirt and I reached up to undo an extra button on his chest. He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Raising the hotness factor,’ I shrugged. We stepped out of the lift into 26 and I was assaulted with a load of screams and Mandy, Jess and Lizzie throwing themselves at me. ‘Hey guys, missed me by any chance?’ I laughed as we all hugged.

  ‘Just a bit, it’s been too long, Mia,’ advised Lizzie.

  ‘I know, I’m sorry. Now I have transport I’ll have to come home one weekend without Gabe, so we can all go out and have a girls night,’ I nodded. That would do me good. I watched Gabe’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline and he left me with them as he went to see our parents who were impatiently waiting. We’d told them over the phone, but hadn’t seen them yet and I tried to focus on my conversation with the girls as I kept one eye on what was going on. I was desperate to go and have a hug from Mum and Sofia.

  ‘Hey girls, who’s for some free champagne before lunch? Open bar, on Robert,’ Lexi announced, sensing that I wanted a few minutes without them.

  ‘Hell yeah, I’m down with some of that action,’ announced Jess and I flashed Lexi a grateful smile. ‘Coming, Mia?’

  ‘In a minute, just want to say hello to Mum first.’ I virtually ran to her and we threw our arms around each other.

  ‘O Mia, I’m so sorry sweetheart,’ she sighed. ‘Please don’t give up. You need to keep trying. How are you coping?’ She pulled back and clasped my face to study me.

  ‘I’ll be fine, I was just so disappointed, Mum. I really thought it would happen. I’m not going to be glum though, it’s
Gabe’s birthday and we already have a baby due in the family and that’s all exciting. Sofia, how are you? Wow, your bump has grown since I last saw you.’

  ‘Yes,’ she laughed as we awkwardly hugged around it. ‘Robert teases me that I’m getting fat. He narrowly missed a wooden chopping board that I flung at his head last week.’

  ‘You never?’ I giggled.

  ‘I did. It will be your turn one day, Mia, I truly believe that. In spite of everything you look amazingly well.’

  ‘You too.’

  ‘Can I tell you a secret?’

  ‘Of course you can,’ I smiled.

  ‘I’m keeping everything crossed that you get pregnant next time. If we both had babies next year it would be wonderful for them to grow up together. You could move to New York when Gabe’s graduated.’

  ‘Move to where?’ gasped Mum.

  ‘I’m not moving anywhere for now Mum, but we have a lot to fill you in on. Let me say hello to Gerry and Robert first. Where’s Georgie?’

  ‘She’s really sorry, but she couldn’t get the time off. She’s sent me with a card and present for Gabe and to tell you that she was really sorry.’

  December

  ‘Morning, Mia,’ Gabe smiled as I opened my eyes.

  ‘Gabe, you can call me that name again, I won’t have a complete melt down every time you call me “baby” you know.’

  ‘I know,’ he sighed. ‘I just don’t want to make things any harder for you when it’s just not happening for us.’

  ‘Have I been that bad?’ I frowned. It was Christmas Eve, the anniversary of his mum’s death, my twenty-first birthday and our Wedding anniversary. It was also just over three months since our last failed attempt. Our third failed attempt. After Gabe’s party I’d spent a few days feeling sorry for myself and crying, before I’d decided that life had to go on. I’d thrown myself in my dancing, work and studying. Gabe and I had been really supportive of each other emotionally, and physically too. Sex took our minds off it, relieved the tension and kept us close. I’d read that lots of couples didn’t fare so well after failed IVF attempts, that it could tear people apart and I was determined that we weren’t going to be one of those statistics.