‘Jackson. Are we busy tonight?’
‘When are we not busy?’ he replied and flicked his head at the waiting line who were giving Tyler and I the evil eye for walking past them. ‘Owner,’ boomed Jackson as he opened the door for me. I giggled and grabbed Tyler’s hand and led him in.
‘God Mia, it’s impressive,’ he uttered as he looked around at the view, the main stage, the booths and the bar.
‘Thank you. I wanted classy elegance with sexiness thrown in.’
‘It’s got that,’ he laughed.
‘Would you like a private dance?’
‘From you?’ he looked at me amazed.
‘I think that may be kind of weird, how about I get Cindy, she’s my number two here.’
‘Sure, but I don’t see why it would be weird, it’s not like I haven’t seen you in a bikini when we went swimming,’ he reminded me. I frowned as I looked at him. He was right. I only stopped dancing for Gabe. We weren’t a couple anymore, why shouldn’t I start again?
‘Ok, you’re on. Follow me.’
‘Seriously?’ he gasped as I tugged him down to the hostess station to check availability of one of the rooms.
‘Number six is free, Mrs. Austin,’ Jill advised. ‘Any preference on performers? Shey or Max are free at the moment.’
‘Actually, it will be me.’
‘O, right,’ she looked at me surprised.
‘It’s a one off for now, for a friend and I’d appreciate your discretion and two bottles of water to be delivered.’
‘Of course, Mrs. Austin,’ she flushed. I smiled and led Tyler to room six and settled him in.
‘I don’t need two bottles of water,’ he smiled.
‘O, I think you will,’ I giggled. ‘Trust me, you’ll be feeling hot. Give me a few minutes to get changed and I’ll be back.’ I headed over to the dressing room and looked at my wardrobe, trying to find something not too revealing. I settled on my black heels, a pair of small black spandex booty shorts and a black, non-see through bra, then a black body con dress with a full zip down the front, short enough for me to move in until I needed to strip. I dressed up and took a deep breath. Was I really going to do this? Undress and dance sexually, one on one, with another man? I thought how disapproving Gabe would be, then thought of him having had his hands all over Chelsea and it made my mind up for me. I marched straight over to the room with determination. Tyler was already sitting back with one ankle up on his knee, drinking from his bottle of water as I walked in and closed the door. He raised both eyebrows as he scanned the dress.
‘I may need more than two bottles of water,’ he choked.
‘Remember, classy establishment, no touching,’ I warned with a smile as I selected two songs. I picked “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s gone” as my pole track and Marilyn Manson’s version of “Tainted Love” for the lap dance. I tried to forget that Tyler was there as I started my pole routine, but I couldn’t. Every time I looked his way I could read his face, he was aroused, not just by the dance, by me. Even worse than that, so was I. With his blond hair, blue eyes and build he reminded me so much of Gabe. I moved my hips as I slowly undid the zip and shrugged off the dress and he sat forward covering his mouth and trying to hide an obvious erection.
There’s nothing wrong with finding another man attractive and getting turned on, Mia, I reminded myself. I was effectively single. So was Tyler. We got on great, enjoyed each other’s company. If it led to something, so what? All I’d be doing was exactly what Gabe had done to me. The track changed and I walked over to Tyler and gently pushed him back in the seat and started to dance, so close to him that I could feel the heat of his breath on my skin, like a gentle caress. I could hear the quickness of his breathing, and mine too. I pushed his knees together and straddled his lap as I swayed, tantalisingly close to him as his bright blue eyes clouded over with a raw sexual desire, the depths of which I’d not seen in them before.
‘Mia?’ he whispered in a husky tone.
‘Yes,’ I replied breathlessly.
‘I can’t do this friends thing anymore, I want more, I want you,’ he nodded. I sank down, my backside on his knees and he tentatively put his hands on my hips. I drew a quick breath, my chest heaving as we looked at each other. I was in trouble, I knew I was in trouble. The way he was looking at me. I slowly lifted my hands, pushed my fingers into his hair and leaned in and kissed him. One of his hands immediately clamped down on the small of my back and the other moved to clasp the back of my head in a dominant way as he kissed me back, but I froze. It reminded me that my dominant Gabe did that, he took control sexually. Gabe. What the hell was I thinking? Was I doing this as some way of getting back at him? Or was I trying to make myself feel better by using Tyler? Either option didn’t sit comfortably with me at all. I suddenly pulled away and covered my mouth as I looked at Tyler horrified, and tears pricked my eyes. ‘Mia?’ he looked at me confused.
‘I … I need a minute … I’m so sorry,’ I gasped and scrambled up and rushed out of the room. I locked myself in the toilets and started to cry. What was wrong with me? I was single, I was attracted to Tyler, he was to me, there was nothing wrong with what I’d just done, but then why did I feel so damn guilty? Gabe had done this and worse to me, but it felt wrong, so wrong. I quickly wiped my tears away and shook myself down and headed back to the room. I quietly closed the door to see Tyler was pacing in front of the window with my dress in his hands. He looked up as I leaned back on the wall.
‘Mia, I’m so sorry.’
‘No, please don’t apologise. I kissed you first. I just … I suddenly felt so guilty. I mean, I’m still ….’ I huffed out and lifted my left hand. I was still wearing my three rings.
‘You have nothing to feel guilty about, Mia,’ he frowned as he strode over. He stood in front of me and I put my forehead and palms on his firm chest. ‘You’re separated, you’re lonely, we’re attracted to each other, we’ve done nothing wrong. Tell me what you want. You want to go back to just friends? Friends with benefits? To date?’
‘I’m not sure we can be friends anymore Tyler, not when we have this chemistry, and I’m not the friends with benefits kind of girl. That’s how I ended up here, in this mess.’
‘So we either go our separate ways, or we try dating,’ he advised. I looked up at him and bit my lip.
‘I can’t date you, Tyler, but I’m not ready to say goodbye to you either,’ I whispered. I’d had too much loss in my life, and over the last two weeks he’d made me feel safe, given me something to look forward to. ‘I’m still in love with Gabe, I know you probably don’t understand that after what he’s done to me … I’m so sorry, I feel like I’ve led you on.’
‘Don’t. Don’t apologise, Mia. I knew all along. Deep down I knew that you weren’t over him. I mean, it’s so soon, and like you say, you’re still wearing your rings,’ he shook his head as he sighed. ‘Even when you say it’s over, it’s obvious it’s not, I just didn’t want to believe it.’
‘I wanted to be over him, I was so angry at how he treated me,’ I uttered as I wiped my eyes. ‘I promise, I didn’t mean to lead you on. Please believe me. I really care about you and you’ve been so amazing with me.’ I sniffed as tears began to roll down my face. I hated myself. I hated that I’d done this to a genuinely sweet guy.
‘Mia, please don’t cry,’ Tyler uttered and turned to wipe my tears. ‘You never led me on, until you just kissed me you never gave me any indication that we were going to be anything more than friends. This is all my fault. I wanted more, I’m falling in love with you and I couldn’t stay away.’
‘I don’t deserve your love, I don’t deserve anyone, I’m toxic,’ I whispered as he clasped my face.
‘No, you’re not toxic, and yes, you do deserve someone. You were worth the gamble, Mia.’
‘You don’t hate me?’
‘I could never hate you. Sure it’s going to take me some time to get over you, but I’ll never hate you.’
‘You�
�re going to make someone an amazing husband one day, Tyler Jackson. I think I could really have fallen in love with you, but Gabe still owns all of my heart, in spite of everything.’
‘You really think that we could have made this work?’ he asked quietly as he studied my face.
‘I know we could have, but I fell in love with him first and until he’s out of my system I need to be by myself. I need to focus on me. You know I’ve only slept with Gabe? I’ve had so many boyfriends, one after another because I was scared of being alone. I think I just wanted to feel safe and loved, but at the same time I was terrified of it. I know you probably think the worst of Gabe because that’s all I’ve told you, but he opened my heart, he made me love for the first time, he showed me what it was to be loved … he’s done so much for me over the years, he’s such a good man … he was such a good man before …’ I choked another sob at the thought of him with Chelsea, and Tyler quickly pulled me into his arms.
‘I believe you. Any man who won the heart of Mia Page, the renowned Ice Queen of Toddlesworth, had to have some redeeming features,’ he whispered as he kissed the top of my head.
‘The “Ice Queen of Toddlesworth?”’ I uttered as I struggled out of his grasp.
‘It was common knowledge that you wouldn’t sleep with any of the guys you were with, I think that’s what made you all the more desirable to them. Hoping they’d be the one to thaw you.’
‘I’m not sure whether I’m insulted or flattered,’ I pouted as I wiped my face again.
‘Be flattered,’ he smiled. ‘Maisey Parker was known as Penis Parker, she let anyone pull up in there for a pit stop.’ He winked at me and I burst out laughing and shoved his shoulder.
‘Was she really that bad?’
‘From what I hear, I never actually fancied trying. So Ice Queen, what are you going to do? Take him back?’
‘No,’ I replied quickly with a shake of the head. ‘I can’t, not after he slept with that woman. I just don’t know how I’m going to stay strong if he keeps trying to get me back.’
‘You need to be clear it’s over, Mia.’
‘I have been, Tyler. I even lied to him last night and said I’d slept with you and he still told me that he loved me, even thinking that I had. I just don’t know what will convince him to walk away.’
‘Are you really sure you want him to?’
‘Yes. He’s crossed that line and no matter what feelings I still have for him, I’d never be able to trust him again.’
‘So,’ he sighed. ‘What lies ahead for, Mia Page?’
‘I’m going to focus on work, see if I can buy Gabe out and make it my own business and try and find myself somewhere to live. Hopefully in time I’ll get over him and I can think about starting again.’
‘I can’t promise to wait for you, Mia,’ he said softly.
‘I know that, I’d never expect you to. But maybe if one day we’re both single and in that place, then we could see if this could have been something special.’
‘O, I know it would have been,’ he replied with a sad smile that made my heart hurt. I heard a noise outside and Jayne shouting.
‘You can’t go in there, the light’s on. She’s performing.’
‘I don’t give a fuck.’
‘Mr. Austin, please,’ she yelled. I looked around horrified at the same time as Tyler, and standing in the doorway, with a look of complete fury on his face, was Gabe.
‘Get your fucking hands off my wife,’ he roared. Tyler stepped away from me and as Gabe saw what I was wearing, or rather not, then my dress in Tyler’s hand, he charged headlong at him and took him to the ground.
‘Jayne, get Jackson in here, NOW,’ I yelled and saw her nod and activate her ear piece. I turned my attention back to the two of them grappling on the floor. ‘Stop, stop, STOP IT,’ I yelled. I tried to pull Gabe off Tyler, but he jerked out of my grasp, his elbow connecting with my face as he did. I staggered back to the wall holding my mouth and sank to the floor with stars in my eyes. I was vaguely aware of Jackson and Liam hauling Gabe off Tyler, as Cindy came rushing in and crouched at my side.
‘What the hell’s going on, Mia? Are you ok?’
‘I … think so,’ I nodded and she pulled my hand from my face.
‘O no, you’re bleeding. Come on, we need get you cleaned up to see what damage there is.’
‘Mia, baby, are you ok?’ Gabe uttered as he looked at me, distraught. Jackson was holding him under each armpit and had his large palms wrapped around to the back of Gabe’s neck, anchoring him.
‘No, no I’m not.’ I exclaimed as Cindy helped me up. I looked over at Tyler, Liam had one arm up his back, while Tyler was clutching his ribs and I noticed that his shirt was ripped. ‘Liam, please can you let Tyler go, he’s coming with me to get patched up and we’re leaving. Jackson, I think it’s best that you keep Mr. Austin in here, away from us, until I advise you that we’ve gone.’
‘Don’t do this, Mia,’ growled Gabe as he glared at me. His eyes were unfocussed and I realised that he was drunk, seriously drunk.
‘My personal life is no longer any of your concern,’ I shot back. ‘As for our professional relationship, you just barged in here drunk and created a scene, which I won’t tolerate. How would you feel if I did that at AT&F? Jackson will keep an eye on you in here, in private, to save you any embarrassment. Once I’ve gone he’ll discretely escort you off the premises through the fire door, put you into a taxi and send you home. The security team will be notified that you are never to step foot in here drunk, ever again. Owner or not, our business will not suffer from your lack of professionalism. Are we clear?’
‘Perfectly clear, Mrs. Austin.’
‘Thank you Jackson, but I was actually taking to Mr. Austin and I’d prefer you call me Mia from now on.’
‘So that’s how it’s going to be, eh?’ Gabe laughed. ‘Now I’m “Mr. Austin,’” just some fucking work colleague?’
‘That’s how it’s going to be,’ I replied and let Cindy lead Tyler and I out of the room.
‘You’re shitting me?’ gasped Lexi as she helped hold the bag of wrapped frozen peas on my swollen lip after I made it home and filled her in. Tyler thought it was best that he left, in case Gabe turned up to have another go at him, so he’d seen me to the bottom door and had kissed me on the cheek and headed home, with me promising to contact him. I’d come upstairs to find her sitting in the lounge and she was mortified at the state of me.
‘No,’ I mumbled. ‘I shit you not. He just won’t let go, Lexi.’
‘Come on, lie back on the bed and you can fill me in,’ she ordered as she lay down next to me. I gave her the full version, from my dinner, all the way to where Tyler and I had kissed. ‘You kissed Tyler Jackson,’ she exclaimed with a shake of her head.
‘For like five seconds, but I’m so confused,’ I groaned.
‘Why?’
‘I really like him, we get on great and … it’s just so easy being with him, Lexi. I’d like to stay friends, but he wants more than I can offer at the moment. Maybe he’s the sort of guy I could go for in the future. With him there were no arguments, no drama, but …’ I sighed.
‘He’s not Gabe?’
‘Yeah,’ I nodded as my eyes watered. ‘I know I shouldn’t, but I still love him. He was so upset Lex, it’s like he doesn’t want me, but the minute I show some interest in someone else he’s all aggressive and territorial, calling me his wife, like it still means something. It doesn’t mean anything, not after he cheated on me with her.’
‘I wish you’d let me get in there and have it out with him.’
‘Why bother? We’re over. He’s just reacting out of some wounded male pride, still seeing me as his possession. He doesn’t want me, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either. I need him to stay away from me. How can I move on if he’s going to keep turning up, turning my world upside down?’
‘I don’t understand this at all,’ frowned Lexi. ‘If he doesn’t want you anymore, w
hy turn up at your mum’s last night? Why the smack down tonight? Bloody Doug must have rung him to say you’d turned up with Tyler, that’s why he showed up. But if Gabe has moved on, why react so strongly?’
‘I don’t know Lex, but I can’t keep doing this.’
‘Well, I don’t know either,’ she sighed. ‘Part of me thinks that Gabe’s obviously still in love with you and wants you back, and that maybe you should try and have one last conversation with him, clear the air and try again, on your terms. But then part of me thinks screw him, if he could cheat on you with that bitch so quickly, then you should steer clear, try and get over him and then start dating Tyler. He could be really good for you.’
‘I know, he was so sweet, Lex. Most guys would run a mile after what happened tonight, but he didn’t. He held my hand as Cindy was cleaning my face and other than to let me get dressed, he never let go until he said goodnight outside. He’s so like Gabe was it’s untrue. I felt so safe with him.’
‘Did you think about sleeping with Tyler?’
‘Lex,’ I protested.
‘You thought about it, I know you did, so don’t try denying it. My bullshit radar may have been on the fritz with Doug, but it’s been reloaded, recharged, and it’s firing on all batteries.’
‘Cylinders.’
‘It would have batteries not cylinders, how the hell would I pick up a radar gun with cylinders, it would be too heavy.’
‘It’s an expression,’ I sighed with a shake of my head. ‘Firing on all cylinders, not firing on all batteries.’
‘Whatever smarty pants, it’s my bullshit radar, my rules, and I’m currently sniffing some avoidance tactics.’
‘Yes, ok? It crossed my mind. I mean, I’ve never slept with anyone but Gabe and Tyler was lovely, plus he was hot and sexy too.’
‘Do it, ring him back and say you want sex no strings like you did with Gabe. It may do you good and if it doesn’t, if he’s crap, you ignore his calls and move on.’
‘Wow, and here was me thinking you’d made forward progress in maturity.’
‘No one wants shit sex for life, Mia. What are you worried about? It’s not like you’re a virgin and you are officially single. You don’t have to be in love with the guy to bone him.’
Infinite Love (The Austin Series) Page 39