by BL Miller
"Well, it's nothing important I guess." She sat down on the leather sofa. "So that woman you tried to help left? I could have told you it wouldn't work." She looked at her younger daughter.
"Those people don't understand what hard work is all about. They just want to sit around and collect a check. I suppose she's filed for unemployment to pick your sister's pocket some more."
"Rose isn't like that, Mother," Susan defended. "She didn't quit because she didn't like to work. There were other reasons."
"There's no excuse for leaving a good paying job except pure laziness. It's in their blood."
"In whose blood, Mother?" Ronnie snapped. "The poor white trash that you love to talk about?" Her hands gripped the back of her chair, knuckles white with the strain. "I'm sure there are people like that, but Rose isn't one of them. She's good and honest and would give her last dime to help another person out."
"Veronica…" Beatrice's tone was low, warning.
"No. I've had it. You badmouth everyone who isn't a blueblood like us. Rose has never ever done anything to earn your dislike, yet you treat her like a bastard at a family reunion." Seething with anger, Ronnie let loose the words that refused to be kept back any longer. "I don't care what you think, Mother, I love Rose and I won't have you talking badly about her, do you understand me?"
Susan took a step back, certain that her mother and sister were about to have a royal battle of words. Never had any of them stood up to her mother and now Ronnie had just announced her defiance on the most taboo of subjects. Beatrice stiffened and pursed her lips.
"I thought that issue was settled years ago or have you forgotten your promise to your poor father?" The matriarch now stood in front of Ronnie's desk, her hands resting on the mahogany top. "You swore to him that you were through with those perverted ideas."
The strain of losing Rose sapped any tact or restraint Ronnie had left. "You think telling me not to love women would make those feelings go away? It didn't. You two forced me to promise that no matter how I felt. What is so wrong with loving another woman?"
"Veronica, think about your position for a minute."
"Fuck my position!" Ronnie shoved away from her chair and took a step forward noting that Susan quickly stepped between them. "Face it, Mother. Your oldest daughter is a lesbian. You can't change that so you'd better learn to accept it. Rose is my lover and I'll give up everything I have in order to keep her." She lowered her voice, the tone deadly serious. "Including my family."
"Maybe this isn't the best time to talk about this," Susan said, trying to guide her older sister away from their mother.
"No Susan," Beatrice bristled. "It's obvious your sister has decided to throw away everything her father and I worked for all these years."
"Why is it so hard for you to accept?" Ronnie shrieked. "It's my life."
"Mother, there is no reason why she can't be that way and still do a good job running the company."
"Whose side are you on, anyway?" The matriarch turned on her younger daughter. "Don't tell me that you accept this, that Jack accepts it."
"It isn't for us to decide who Ronnie loves, Mother." Susan took a deep breath and looked at her older sibling. "And yes, Jack and I do accept Rose," she added.
"I can't believe this." She walked over the couch and retrieved her bag. "I would have thought after poor Tommy's death you would have realized what can happen from hanging out with the wrong element. And just how do you think the shareholders will feel about this?"
"It's none of the damn shareholder's business who I'm sleeping with," Ronnie snapped. "It's not like they can vote me out of office."
"You don't own controlling interest, Veronica. Don't forget that."
"Actually, Mother," Susan interjected. "With Tommy's shares between us we hold fifty percent of the stock. All we need is Frank, Michael, or John to vote with us and we have controlling interest."
"So that's it?" Beatrice's lips were pursed, her frustration obvious. "Fine. If Veronica wants to throw her life away and you're willing to help her, so be it. I'll call a cab from downstairs." She stormed out of the office, leaving the sisters alone again.
"Well that was productive," Ronnie sighed as she sank into her chair. "I finally stand up to her and it doesn't even matter because Rose is gone anyway."
"You know I'm never going to hear the end of this, don't you?" Susan said. "I'll guarantee there'll be a message on my machine when I get home."
"I know, Sis. I'm sorry you had to get in the middle of it." She picked up her pen, the present making her heart ache even more for her beloved Rose.
"Ronnie…do you want me to try and talk to Rose?"
"Do you think it would make any difference? She won't talk to me."
"I don't think it could hurt," Susan said.
"I'd make a deal with the devil if I thought it would get her to talk to me again." She looked up at her sister. "Please. If you think there's anything you can do or say to make her understand how I feel, do it."
"Which motel is she at?"
"The Maverick on Central. About eight miles west of the Arcadia."
"That's almost on the city line of Schenectady, isn't it? The one that puts out all those gaudy Christmas decorations each year?"
"That's the place."
"I'll go talk to her but you need to tell me what really happened that night. She deserves to know the complete truth, not just whatever those papers she found told her."
Ronnie hesitated, then nodded in agreement. "I was out at Sam's…"
***************
"There you go sweetie," Rose said as she put the plate of canned food down for Tabitha. She threw the empty can in the trash just as there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?"
"Susan Cartwright."
"Um…" Rose looked out the peephole, verifying that the redhead was alone. "I'm not really in the mood for company right now," she said softly.
"Rose, it really is rude to leave someone standing outside the door."
"But…" Reluctantly she undid the chain and bolt. She opened the door. "Susan, if this is about Ronnie…"
"Of course it's about Ronnie," the redhead said as she entered the room. "My sister is heartbroken and you won't even give her the chance to explain. Hello, Tabitha."
"Mrrow."
"There is nothing really left to say, is there?"
"You tell me." Susan sat down on one bed and motioned for the young woman to sit on the other.
"She lied to me."
"Yes she did…about the accident. Not about how she feels for you. There's a difference."
"How can anything built on a lie be real?" Rose stood up and limped over to the tiny cube refrigerator to get some bottled water.
"Again, she lied about the accident. Everything else was real, Rose. Her feelings for you are real and you have to know that."
"I know she feels something," the young woman responded after she returned to her seat.
"If you could see her, you'd know that she feels more than something." She reached out and took Rose's hand. "Listen to me. We're talking about my sister here. I know her. She's not one to take people's feelings lightly, especially her own." Susan let go and looked down. "Rose, this is killing her. She's not eating, she's not sleeping, nothing matters to her now."
"It hasn't been a picnic for me either," she confessed.
"Then why not go and talk to her? Come on, Rose. Think about it for a minute. If all she wanted to do was cover her tracks, then why did she stick around at the hospital? Why didn't she just drop you off and let them worry about taking care of you?"
"I don't know…maybe she felt guilty."
"Tell me something Rose, when the two of you, you know…did it feel like guilt to you?"
"No, of course not."
"Then why do you assume that everything she did came from guilt?" Susan smiled inwardly at the confused look on Rose's face. "If she was just guilty, she wouldn't have opened up her home to you. She wouldn't have gone to the lengths sh
e did to take care of you. Look, I know you're hurting too but you have to look at the whole picture. Ronnie loves you."
"How am I supposed to forgive her?" The young woman asked, her voice cracking with emotion.
"It's been six months and I still can't walk without pain. I have scars."
"You see this?" Susan rolled her sleeve up to reveal a small white scar near her elbow. "Ronnie and I were fooling around on our bicycles and she wiped out causing me to fall. I broke my elbow and had to spend the summer in a cast. I still can't extend that arm completely and I know whenever it's going to rain now. Do you think I shouldn't have forgiven her for that?"
"Of course not. It was an accident," Rose said.
"Exactly. It was an accident when she caused me to fall off my bike and it was an accident when she hit you with her car."
"It's not the same, Susan."
"Isn't it? Tell me something, Rose. Do you think she meant to hit you with her car?"
"No."
"Then it was an accident, right? Even if it was her fault it was still an accident." She shifted on the bed, trying to find a spot where the springs weren't trying to poke through the thin blanket.
"What do you remember about that night?"
"Not much," Rose admitted. "I was trying to get home and some men started chasing me. I remember running through the park and then onto Madison. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital."
Susan nodded, the events fitting with her sister's description. "Did you run out from the corner or the middle of the street?"
"I think it was the middle. It was snowing, I don't know."
"Ronnie says she was going up Madison when you darted out from between some parked cars. She said there was no way for her stop in time."
"Then why make up the story about coming up after the accident?"
"She had some wine at dinner and worried she would be arrested for drunk driving. Yes, she lied to cover herself but she made sure you were taken care of. She tried to do the responsible thing, Rose. You have to give her credit for that."
"It was an accident," the young woman whispered. "If she hadn't been drinking…"
"She still would have been unable to avoid you. If you're looking for someone to blame, blame the men who were chasing you."
"But why didn't she tell me the truth later?"
"What happened when you did find out the truth, Rose?"
The young woman looked at her lap. "I left her."
"You never gave her a chance to explain, did you?" She reached out for the woman she considered her sister-in-law. "Rose, the accident wasn't her fault. She may be guilty of bad judgment but not anything else. Do you love Ronnie?"
Lifting her head to show eyes glittering with unshed tears, Rose replied. "Yes."
"Do you think that she would willingly hurt you?"
"No."
"Then why are you punishing her for something she had no control over? Let me take you home, Rose."
*****************
Ronnie was sitting on the couch, the pendant she had given Rose for Christmas in her hands. There had been no word from Susan and the executive feared her sister's intervention would have no effect on Rose. Tears feel freely, dotting her hands with the salty drops. The sound of the sliding glass door opening drew her attention toward the kitchen. When she saw Susan enter the living room alone, Ronnie's heart sank. She opened her mouth to speak but there was nothing to say. Rose was gone and she wasn't coming back.
"Ronnie?"
"It's all right, Susan. I know you tried your best." She stared at the pendant. "Did she…say anything?"
"She said a lot of things, but maybe it would be better if you just asked her yourself." It was then that the sliding glass door closed, alerting Ronnie that Susan was not alone.
"She's here?" She stood up and quickly wiped at the tear streaks on her face. "Is she here?" She sprinted past her sister and into the kitchen without waiting for an answer.
Rose barely had time to set Tabitha on the floor before she found herself caught in Ronnie's powerful arms. The cane clattered to the floor as the tall woman spun her round and round, hugging her tightly. "You're…crushing…me."
"Oh, I'm sorry." Ronnie quickly set her lover down and retrieved the cane. "It's just…well…"
"It's all right," Rose said, reaching out to take the larger hand in her own. She was surprised to see such a haggard expression on Ronnie's face. She realized the separation had been just as hard on her lover as it was on her. "I missed you too."
"Please don't leave again," Ronnie blurted. She had not meant to sound so desperate but the thought of not having the blonde woman in her life was too much to bear. "I'll do anything…just don't leave."
"I can't promise that," Rose said sadly, turning away and leaning her hand against the counter. "I have questions, Ronnie. We need to talk."
"I think that's my cue to leave," Susan piped in from her position in the archway between kitchen and living room. "Sis, get Rose's suitcase from my car."
Ronnie's eyes never left her lover. "Sure…I'll be right back, okay?"
"I'll be here," the young woman replied softly, giving a wan smile. The executive reluctantly opened the sliding glass door and stepped outside. Susan walked over and put her hand on Rose's shoulder. "Are you going to be all right?"
"Yeah," she nodded, turning to face the redhead. "Thanks."
"Rose, I know she hurt you but don't forget how easily you can hurt her too. Be gentle with my sister. She loves you very much." When Ronnie returned, Susan said her good-byes and left.
Once alone, an awkward silence fell over the lovers. They stood in the kitchen lost in their own thoughts and fears. Tabitha padded into the room and spotted the unmarred black of Ronnie's slacks. "Mrrow?" She rubbed up against her tall mistress and began purring.
"Hey there." She bent down and picked up the happy cat. "How have you been? You been taking good care of Mommy?"
"She missed you, you know," Rose said, moving a couple of steps closer. "She kept crying for you and looking at the door." She looked down at the floor. "I kept crying too," she added quietly. Ronnie set Tabitha down and closed the remaining distance between them just as Rose's lip started to quiver. "It just felt like some kind of horrible nightmare that I couldn't wake up from." Ronnie's arms went around her just as the young woman collapsed into tears.
"Okay, Honey. I've got you." She held Rose tight, fearing if she let go she would disappear. "Do you want to go sit on the couch and talk?"
"Sure," the young woman sniffled. "If you want to."
"Whatever you want to do, Rose. If you'd rather sit at the table…"
"No, the couch would be nice." The motel room did not have a couch…well, not one that she had felt safe sitting on. Hands resting on each other's backs, the couple walked into the living room. Rose took her usual cushion at the end while Ronnie hesitated, then sat down at the opposite end instead of the middle. To her surprise, the young woman scooted over to occupy the empty cushion. Ronnie took it as a good sign and rested her hand on Rose's knee.
"I love you, Rose."
"I know." She took a deep breath and looked into the blue eyes that haunted her dreams. "And I love you too. I wouldn't have come back if I didn't."
"I'm sorry about lying to you. I wish there was some way I could make it up."
"Do something now?"
"Anything."
"Tell me what really happened."
"Rose, it's in the past. Why can't…" She was silenced by Rose's finger on her lips.
"Because I need to know what happened," she interrupted. "Please Ronnie. You owe me the truth."
The executive nodded and swallowed. "It happened so fast." She shook her head, the dark tresses waving with the movement. "It was just so quick." Looking into gentle green eyes, she continued. "I never saw you, Rose. I was driving, thinking that I had just wasted the evening with a jerk and all of the sudden there you were. I hit the brakes but with the snow on the ground�
�" Her eyes closed briefly at the memory of the total silence that preceded the horrifying thud.
"There was nothing else I could do." She looked away again, focusing on the grandfather clock.
"There was so much blood, Rose. I thought I killed you. When I realized I hadn't, I put you in my car and drove you to the hospital as fast as I could."
"Why did you stay around?" Ronnie felt a small but insistent hand on her chin, forcing her to meet Rose's gaze. "You did your job, you got me to the hospital. You could have left and no one would ever have known. Why didn't you leave?"