I’d been sitting there for around half an hour when Rebecca came by. I’d liked her the moment I met her in the interview, and we’d really seemed to click. I struggled to get myself together in the mornings, but she always looked immaculate: brown hair with perfect big curls, and lacquered nails that changed colour seemingly every couple of days. Today, they were blue.
“How are things going?” she asked.
“Good. I’m just working through these files I started on Friday. The system is similar to what I used in my last job, so learning it isn’t proving to be too taxing.”
She sat on the corner of my desk, frowning.
“I’m not talking about work. I’m talking about you.”
“Me?
“I haven’t told anyone else what happened, but I was concerned that you didn’t have anyone with you.”
I shrugged. “To be honest, I do have a close friend I could have called. But she’s been telling me forever how Evan wasn’t good enough for me. I couldn’t face her.”
She smiled, nodding. “I get that. As long as you’re going to be okay.”
“I’ll get there. I’ve got childcare sorted out for next week, so I’ll just have to finish early this week. I’ll be happy to work out a way to make up the time.”
Rebecca shook her head. “It’s fine. I think you have a pretty good excuse. I had a breakup recently too—spent days away from work. I can’t even imagine what it’s like with children.”
“One of them is too small to really know what’s going on." I held up the photo of my boys that I had on my desk to show her. "We’ll get there. To be honest, I did most things myself anyway.”
She laughed. “Good luck. I’ll leave you to it.”
I sighed when she was out of sight. It was so good to have a boss who cared and understood. My old workplace wouldn’t have been as accommodating. Guess I lucked out.
Just before school was due to finish, I stood outside the gate waiting for Jack to come out. No one noticed me, even though I felt like the odd one out. Evan had been the one who always did the school run in the afternoon. Always the one at home while I worked, it was the one thing he did to help out.
The more I thought about that, the more it angered me.
“Olivia.”
I looked up, and saw Craig coming towards me. Of course he would know by now; Evan had no doubt told his friends, even if he hadn’t bothered to tell me.
“Hey, Craig.”
His face was flushed, as if he’d been running. “I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to see how you were.”
I shrugged. “I’m alive.”
He sighed. “I know what you mean. This whole thing has been a bit of a shock. How are you and the boys holding up?”
In the distance, I could see Jack skipping happily along with his little friends, and I couldn’t help but smile at how he was just getting on with things. The way we all needed to.
“Olivia?”
“Oh. The boys are a bit confused, but we just have to deal. I’m sorry I haven’t called Donna. Dealing with changing day-care hours has been enough to keep me pre-occupied.”
I looked back at him. His jaw had dropped and he was gaping at me as if I were the biggest idiot in the universe. “Craig?”
“Shit. I thought you knew.”
“Thought I knew what?”
“Donna left me for Evan.”
My anger burned all the way home. Thomas and Jack laughed and joked in the back seat as we weaved our way through the traffic, and all I could think about was Craig’s bombshell.
All the times that Evan had been so cruel about Donna. All the times I’d defended her because she was my friend and I was often the only one in the group apart from Craig who gave a crap about her feelings.
Craig had adored her, spent years telling his so called friends to back off and leave her alone. And now she had left him for someone who had called her so many nasty names. The same asshole who thought it was okay to abandon his wife and children without a word.
I was fuming by the time we got home, and I bashed and thumped my way around the kitchen as I threw something together for dinner.
Bastard.
All I’d ever done was try to love him and our children. Ever since we were teenagers, wrapped up in each other, it had just been me with Evan.
And despite our relationship not working that well, we’d kept things together when I fell pregnant with Jack, and then again when Thomas came along. I should have seen it coming.
* * *
By the end of the week, I was saddened at the thought of not having the extra time with the boys anymore. Even the couple of hours more we’d had a day had been fun for all of us. Every night was camp-out night as they cuddled up in bed either side of me. There was no point making them move to their own beds.
On Friday, I went for the last of the school pickups, and spotted Donna somewhere behind Jack as he ran out the gate and into my arms. Turning towards the car, I set off at a brisk pace, with Jack running along behind me.
“Mum, slow down. You’re going too fast,” he said.
“Sorry, sweetie. I just want to get to day-care to get Thomas.”
When we got to the car he mucked around, fidgeting as he climbed his car seat, his hands getting in the way of me buckling him in. “Come on, baby. We have to get going.”
I turned as I closed the door, just in time for Donna to reach the car. She was panting at the effort to get to us in time, and grinned at me.
“Olivia, wait,” she said, bending to catch her breath.
“I don’t have time for this, Donna. I have to go and get Thomas from day-care.”
She looked up at me. “I wanted to check and see if we were okay.”
All around us people were walking to their cars, but I couldn’t help it. After what Craig had told me, I wasn’t about to be civil.
“Why the fuck would we be okay, Donna?”
She chewed her lower lip. “I just thought that if Evan explained everything to you, that you would be able to move on. I mean, I’m really sorry; neither of us wanted to hurt anyone.”
“Explained everything? Donna, if that's he’s told you then he’s lying to you too. Good luck with that.”
I went to walk around the car, and she grabbed my arm.
“What do you mean? He said he talked to you and you were okay. It’s not like you were really together.”
My anger spilled over, and I pulled my arm away. “He told you that?” My voice rose in volume and I couldn’t control it. “Did he also tell you that when he left, he didn’t even have the decency to let me know that he wouldn’t be picking up the kids, and I came home to the cops in my driveway? The school and day-care both called them as a last resort because Evan didn’t give enough of a shit to take them home.”
She frowned, her brow wrinkled in confusion. “That’s not what he said.”
“I don’t give a crap what he said. My reality is that my husband left me without a word. He just took his stuff and left when I wasn’t home, leaving me to pick up the pieces. Same as always.”
“But Olivia …”
“There are no buts, Donna. He is reckless and irresponsible, and you are welcome to him. Don’t ever talk to me again.”
I walked around the car, opening my door. “And for the record,” I yelled, “he fucked me the night before he left, so don’t tell me we weren’t really together.”
She paled at the words and I grinned, sitting down and slamming the door. To hell with her and everyone else. I would take care of my boys and me, no matter what.
“Mum? Are you okay?” Jack’s voice from the backseat made me cringe. He would have heard every word.
“I think we should stop and get ice cream on the way home. What do you think?”
I looked at him in the rear-view mirror. His face had lit up at the thought of the treat that was usually forbidden.
“YAY! Can Thomas have some too?”
That was my boy, always thinking of his
little brother. Both of them were so sweet.
“Of course. I think we should all have some. Maybe we can sit down by the beach and watch the sun go down with fish and chips and ice cream.”
“Can we find a playground?”
I laughed. “Sounds good to me. Let’s go get your brother.”
Chapter Four
That night I sat on the couch, watching a movie with the boys, eating popcorn as the day turned to dusk outside. The front door handle rattled, and then there was silence before it rattled again.
Thump, thump, thump.
“What the hell, Olivia? Let me in.”
I went to the front door and opened it to find Evan, red-faced and fuming on my doorstep. He hadn't told me he'd left, I hadn't told him I changed the locks.
“What do you want?”
“I need to grab some things I forgot. I left my razor in the bathroom.”
I took a deep breath. “The electric one? The one I gave you for your birthday.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I have my bracelet back first?”
He froze, his eyes roaming my face, but I wasn’t going to give an inch.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The new bracelet I was given. It’s gone from my jewellery box. In fact, everything is gone.”
He shuffled from foot to foot, looking at the ground. “Maybe one of the kids took it out.”
“Cut the crap, Evan. Let me guess: you’ve already given it to Donna.”
I heard him swallow, hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. That was exactly where it was.
“Why did you change the locks?” He looked back up at me, narrowing his eyes.
“Are you for real? You. Left. Thankfully, the police were available to pick up our children from school and day-care because you fucked off.”
His jaw dropped, and he gaped at me while my frustration grew. Prickly heat traversed my body, building up in my chest. He’d never seen me this angry, but then I’d never been in this position before. Being deserted—our children being deserted.
Do you even give a crap?
“I thought they’d just call you.”
“I hadn’t updated my contact details. Sure, I should have done that, but you should have been there. You’re their father.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks. Not for me; they’d never be for me, no matter how tender he’d been with me the night before he’d left. All for my boys.
“Why? Why her?” My voice croaked as I said the words, but I couldn’t help it.
“Can I come in, Liv? I don’t want to stand out here.”
“No.”
The taste of iron filled my mouth as I bit down too hard on my lower lip, steeling myself to fend him off.
“Jack? Are you there, Jack? Daddy wants to see you,” he called over my shoulder.
“Fuck you,” I murmured.
“Mummy?” Jack’s voice came from behind and I closed my eyes at the sound.
Please don’t let this get nasty.
“Jack,” Evan said warmly.
Two small hands grabbed onto my waist, and I turned my head to see my eldest boy glaring at his father.
“You left me at school.”
Evan frowned. “I know, buddy. I thought Mum would get you.”
“The policeman did. It was your job.” He was insanely stubborn, and I could already tell Evan wouldn’t get anywhere with him.
"Buddy ..."
Jack let go, running back inside the house.
“You can’t stop me from seeing him,” Evan said.
“I’m not going to try. But, it’ll have to be somewhere other than here.”
He rolled his eyes, turning on his heel. “See you in court, then.”
They were empty words and I knew it. He didn’t have the money or the inclination to take me to court. That would be far too much effort. Even if he did, I had the advantage.
And it was true. I wasn’t going to stand in the way if he wanted to see his children. But I’d had enough of running around after him.
* * *
After the boys were in bed I started sorting through our things. Whatever I could sell without causing us discomfort, I would. I’d been in a position where I could start building a nest egg for emergencies. Now, more than ever, I needed one.
First thing in the box was Evan’s electric shaver. He’d barely used it. No doubt Donna wanted him clean-shaven. Well, tough shit. He’d have to buy disposable razors or go without.
There were boxes of his things, and I shoved those in the back of the garage. If he wanted them, he could come only as far as there to get them.
As I worked, I built a pile of things I could sell. Furniture I’d replaced but not thrown out; things we just didn’t need. It was cathartic just to throw some of the accumulated crap out. Things that reminded me of my life with him.
As much as I had pangs for him, that last night still fresh in my mind, I needed to made a break from the past. There was no turning back now. Tears hung around my cheeks as I dug through boxes, all those memories.
My marriage was over. Time for the new.
Then I found it. Right at the bottom of a box was something long-forgotten, something that had once meant so much to me, but had been set aside with the birth of Jack.
I’d written a book while in high school, and as far as I’d been concerned at the grand old age of seventeen, it was the best thing ever written. I had been going to submit it to a publishing company, make a squillion dollars and be the most famous person who ever lived.
And then I’d discovered I was pregnant.
In an instant all my dreams went out the window as I struggled with my changing relationship with Evan, my mother throwing me out, juggling working and pregnancy and starting a new life.
I flicked through the pages, memories of the hours I’d spent on it flooding through my mind. It seemed so long ago.
Maybe I should submit it somewhere.
But where?
It was time to call it a night. The living room was a mess of emptied boxes, and I didn’t care.
What I wanted to do was to curl up in bed with my book and read, see what my seventeen-year-old mind had come up with. While I’d stopped writing, I’d never stopped reading, and I was sure there were a thousand ideas stashed away in my brain.
Maybe it was time to coax them out.
* * *
In the morning, I called a pawnbroker and arranged an appointment for him to assess the things I’d set aside. Nothing like getting on with your life.
Three hours later, a battered old van pulled up in the driveway making a loud rattling noise, and the boys squealed, not knowing whom it was.
I laughed at their reaction as I got to the door. “Shhh.” I put my finger to my lips as I pulled on the door handle.
The man on the other side was as weathered as the van he drove. A long wispy beard couldn’t cover the smile he had on his face.
“Olivia Grant?”
I nodded. “You must be Mr Johnson.”
He handed me a wrinkled business card. It looked older than I did.
“Call me William. I understand you have some things for me to look at.”
I nodded, opening the door wide for him to make his way through. The boys hid behind me, one on each side.
Thomas’s eyes opened wide. “Are you Santa?”
My jaw dropped. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Mr Johnson.”
His eyes twinkled as he looked between my little boy and I. “Don’t worry about it. Sometimes I help out at the local shopping mall at Christmas time.” He winked at Thomas. “Santa has to have lots of helpers.”
Santa better have some money for us then.
“I’ve moved all the things I’m getting rid of into this room, if you could have a look through and tell me what you think I can get for them?”
He grinned. “Of course, Mrs Grant.”
I chewed on my lower lip while I watched him examining everything. I
don’t know why I was so nervous; I think it was just that the more money I got for these things, the better it was for us. I had plans for some of it, and the rest would be put in the bank. Now I was by myself, if anything went wrong I was the one who had to take care of everything. And I couldn’t do that with no savings.
The whole time he scribbled on a notepad, making notes.
After about half an hour he presented his list to me, and my jaw dropped at how much he was offering.
“If I were you, I’d get a second opinion on that dressing table. Just to check what I think it’s worth. Everything else is straightforward, but that is a much older piece of furniture and solid oak. Given a bit of a clean up, that’ll be worth a lot to someone.”
I was touched. He could have offered me anything for it and I’d have been none the wiser. I’d taken that with me when I’d moved out of Mum’s, and if I’d known it was valuable, I would have sold it years before.
Tears rolled down my cheeks before I even noticed, and I nodded. “Thank you so much.”
“If you like, I can pay you for the other things and take them off your hands today. Just let me know about the other piece.”
I had no words, just nodded at him again. He patted me on the shoulder. “I’m glad you called me. A lot of others out there would have paid you barely anything and taken it off your hands without saying a word. I haven’t stayed in business this long by being dishonest.”
“You are Santa,” I said, laughing.
* * *
By the end of the week, I had another company in to value the dresser. This guy was humourless, and dressed in a suit and tie. I much preferred Santa.
He spent half an hour just looking at the piece of furniture, not giving anything away, until he handed me a piece of paper with a figure on it. A figure that was half of what Mr Johnson had offered me.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“It needs a lot of work.” That was all he said, and I sighed as he just stood, staring at me.
“No thanks.”
The first sign of emotion: he frowned. “It’s a very good price, Mrs Grant.”
“What makes you think that?”
Something Real Page 2