by BWWM Club
She sat there in the car staring across the weed choked yard, mentally telling herself that it was going to be no longer than later to finish what she had started. He missed her. Why was he telling her all that? And what was he doing? She put the car into drive and headed to the building.
*****
“That’s Gladys,” Mary-Ann said with an indication of her head. She had left the office to show Leah the disabled department where the physically and mentally handicapped were given back their self worth by being assigned to one job or another. “She lost her husband ten years ago in a terrible car accident that left her totally paralyzed from the waist down but she makes very tasty cookies that we sell to the Sunday school department and elsewhere. She is a fount of faith. She is always the one encouraging you when something goes wrong.”
Leah looked at the woman in the wheelchair. She could not be more than forty years old but her illness had taken a toll on her and her reddish blonde hair was streaked liberally with gray but there was a bright cheerful smile on her face. All around she could see people who were impaired in one way or another, busy doing some chore assigned to them and she realized that here were people with real suffering and instead of being bitter they were all smiles. It was hard to believe.
“Do you think I could talk to her for a little bit?” Leah asked Mary-Ann.
“I am sure she would love to!” Mary-Ann said with a smile as she hurried over to the woman.
Leah went over when she beckoned for her to come and she introduced them. “I have to go back to the office now. Leah you can come back when you are through. See you later Gladys.” With a wave, she hurried away.
“Have a seat my dear,” Gladys indicated one of the many chairs in front of her. “It’s time for my break. Now what do you want to know?” she asked folding her hands in her lap.
Leah looked around her again at the persons in wheelchairs keeping busy and in particular a young boy drawing furiously on a canvas.
“It’s amazing that people can be cheerful in circumstances such as these,” she murmured, her eyes meeting Gladys’ light blue ones.
“Oh, you mean sitting one place in a wheelchair and not able to help ourselves fully?” the woman asked with a smile. “We are not in control my dear. God is and what he chooses is entirely up to him. In whatever situation we find ourselves, we have every right to give thanks because it could always be worse.”
“And you don’t think that’s unfair?”
“Who are we to determine what is fair or unfair?” Gladys gave an elegant shrug of her bony shoulders. “My husband was on loan to me from God and he saw fit to take him back and left me here to continue serving him. While I miss my dear Phillip, I am grateful he has gone home to be with his savior.”
“You don’t feel an ounce of bitterness?” Leah persisted, finding it hard to believe that she was sincere.
“Not one bit.” The woman said with a serene smile. “Negative emotions only weigh you down and make you sick. You cannot help when you die so the best thing to do is to let it go and let the Almighty take control. He knows best.”
“Any children?”
“None. The Lord did not see fit to bless us with any and after trying for years we stopped and set about to enjoy each other. Now I have many children to love and care about. But what about you my dear? You seem to be carrying a heavy load on those lovely shoulders of yours. Aren’t you tired?”
Leah looked at the woman startled and was reminded of how Paul had turned the tides on her. “I am okay.” She said avoiding the woman’s direct stare.
“You’re most certainly not,” she said firmly. “But I am not going to pry; I guess you’ll tell me in your own time. In the meantime, I am afraid I must get back to my cookie dough. Feel free to stop by any time.”
Next she went to the soup kitchen where they were serving lunch for the homeless and the woman in charge, Mabel; a buxom middle aged African American smiled and beckoned her over. “Mary-Ann said you would stop by.” She handed the surprised Leah a ladle. “This is our busiest time of the day until in the evening when it is supper time.” She indicated for Leah to start serving the soup. There were other women around. Two were cutting slices of bread that smelled like they were freshly baked and others were making sure the elderly were seated and comfortable.
“How long have you been doing this?” Leah asked as she passed a bowl to a man who gave her a toothless smile.
“Forever,” the woman said with a laugh. “Six months in fact. I lost my job at the clothing store in town eight months ago and had nowhere to turn. I wandered in here and started attending the sanctuary and I was offered a job here in the soup kitchen which is paying far more than when I worked at the store. I have to say thank God for Mr. Paul; he is one of the rare ones.”
She heard stories like that everywhere she went in the building and when she went back to his office to make some notes, she found herself sitting there looking thoughtful. She had eaten lunch when they had finished serving so now she was full and Mary-Ann had served her coffee and pastry as soon as she came in.
She was getting ready to leave when her phone rang and she knew it was him.
“I understand you have been very busy,” his voice was tinged with amusement.
“Mary-Ann has been informing on me?” she asked with a smile as she settled back in the couch to talk to him.
“I asked her to check up on you.” He told her. “I understand you met Gladys. What do you think of her?”
“I think she is either filled with faith or she is very delusional.”
“Which one are you leaning to?” he asked her.
“I will tell you when I speak to her again.” She said with a smile. “How was your meeting?”
“Productive but I spent most of it thinking of you.”
The silence stretched out for a little bit as Leah tried to control the tremor in her hands. “What are you doing Paul?” she asked finally.
“I don’t know how to answer that.” He told her truthfully. “I just know that I think about you a lot, that’s all.”
“I think we need to change the subject.” She told him stiffly.
“It’s not going to make a difference,” he warned. “Do you miss me?”
“No,” she lied.
“Liar,” he said softly with a laugh. “Be safe driving home.” He said before hanging up the phone. She sat there with the phone in her hands, a frown on her smooth brow. He was presenting a complication that she did not need.
*****
She tackled the weeds as soon as she got home, determined not to think about him and what he had said to her. The evening was decidedly cool and she had put on a light sweater over the old T-shirt she had on.
She had finally asked someone to cut the yard for her and he was coming by tomorrow. She was back on the grass with the trowel in her hands and her mind drifted back to a conversation she had had with her father when she was about sixteen years old. They had been in the garden and she had sat there and watched as he sprinkled seeds inside the hole he had dug.
“Dad do you miss mom?”
He had looked up at her for a minute and then went back to what he was doing. “More than I can tell you baby girl.”
“Why didn’t you remarry?”
He had dust off his hands and patted the velvety grass beside him. “I loved your mother with everything in me and I could never find it inside my heart to be like that for another woman and besides there is the fact that you are around. I would never want to put you through the strain of a stepmother relationship.”
“But aren’t you lonely?” she had persisted.
He had smiled that gentle smile at her and told her. “Who could be lonely with a daughter like you around?” he had pulled her into his arms and tickled her sides until she had started laughing uncontrollably. “But seriously, I have the love of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with me and because of that I never feel alone.”
Leah felt the tears well in her ey
es as she looked around and her mind flashed back to the building Paul had taken her to and she remembered what he had told her about wanting a family.
She stood up languidly and stretched out the kinks from her muscles and went inside. It was getting colder by the minute and she need to take a shower and get something to eat.
*****
Paul glanced at his wrist watch for the third time in as many minutes. It was almost eight o’clock and he wanted to call Leah before he turned in for the night and before it was too late. He was at a dinner held in his honor and if it was not for that he would call it a night. He had told her the truth about missing her and thinking about her a lot. He had spent the better part of last night gazing up at the ceiling unable to go to sleep because he kept remembering how she smelled and the way she tilted her head when she asked a question.
He had spent his time first accumulating wealth and then after he had given his life to the Lord, caught up in ministry and as much as he loved his relationship with the Lord, he always knew that he needed something else to complete the picture. He knew he had found it with Leah. How he was going to convince her that they belonged together was beyond him. But he knew that nothing was impossible where his God was concerned and he was relying on that. Forcing a smile on his lips he turned to the elderly gentleman on his right as he engaged him in conversation.
*****
“I can’t believe you have never done this before,” Gladys said to her as she handed her the rolling pin. “Where have you been?”
“I am wondering the same thing myself,” Leah said with a grin as she pressed the dough carefully like she had been told and watched as the woman deftly poured batter into several baking tins. The Sunday school was having a special treat on Sunday and they had invited the neighborhood children as well. “Where did you learn to bake like this?” she asked the woman curiously.
“I was a Home Economics teacher before the accident and after that I decided to bake in order to make ends meet.” She looked up at the beautiful girl who had come over again and put aside her lap top and note pad to join her in the kitchen. “What about you? Any chance of settling down?”
“Me?” Leah looked startled by the question.
“You are a very beautiful young woman and therefore some fortunate man would love to have you in his life.” Gladys commented, sprinkling cinnamon on the cookies.
“I don’t have time for a relationship right now.” She said firmly, placing the dough into the cookie cutter.
“The only time we have is now my dear. Time is not guaranteed to us.” Gladys told her quietly.
She spent the next hour learning about baking and life lessons from a woman who had no use of her lower body and even stayed around to help the cleaning up process.
She heard from Paul only once when he told her he was going to be in meetings all day and he wanted to know if she was getting along with everyone else.
“I am getting along like a house on fire with everyone. I actually baked cookies today.” She told him enthusiastically.
“Gladys pulled you into baking?” he asked in amusement. He had gotten up this morning and had wanted to call her first thing but he had forced himself not to because it had been too early. After that he had been in meetings but he had called her the first chance he got. “Am I going to taste something of yours when I get there?”
“I am not that good; I’ll probably give you heartburn. Gladys can whip you up a batch.” She told him, not liking where the conversation was going.
“I will see you when I get there,” he told her.
“Okay.”
She spent the night putting her notes together. The smell of freshly cut grass had assailed her nostrils. It was coming to the end of April and the scent of flowers was heavy in the wind. The man had also scraped the weeds and cut grass and put them in garbage bags out front. She made herself a cup of tea and settled back to look at what she had so far. She had written about Gladys. ‘A woman who lost most of what she had but still manages to share smiles and cookies with whomever crosses her path. Is it faith or just someone trying to make the best of a life that had gone horribly wrong? These people attribute their good fortune to God and then to Paul Maitland, but is he really an angel or is he there for the fame and adulation?’ she looked at the article and felt as if she had just betrayed the people who had been so kind to her. And what about Paul? Did she really believe that about him?
She put aside the lap top in frustration. Her instincts had always proved her right and she had always been able to write objectively; but she was afraid that now her mind was crowded with the disturbing feelings she felt whenever she thought about him. She had gone into the soup kitchen again to help out and had listened to the cheerful conversation and the way the women dealt with the homeless people, not like they were better than them. She had even seen one of them leaned over to hug a woman in a tattered spring coat. What was it about these people that made them so happy all the time? What were they hearing that a lot of people including her were not hearing?
She remembered a particular conversation she had had with Gladys: “When did you meet Phillip?”
“He was my high school sweetheart,” the woman had said with a soft laugh.
“You were together from high school?” Leah had asked her incredulously.
“We went to the prom together and we decided then and there that when we were old enough we were going to get married.”
“So he has been the only man for you,” Leah said wonderingly. “Didn’t you ever want to be with anyone else?”
“Why?” the woman had looked at her puzzled. “He was the man God had in store for me so why would I want to be with anyone else?”
“You must have loved each other very much,” Leah had said wistfully.
“If you just wait on the Lord my dear, he will provide someone for you that will make your life complete.” The woman had assured her.
Leah sat there contemplatively. She had spent her life questioning her dad’s religion and wondering how he could be so happy after so many bad things had happened in his life and now she had met a group of people who were able to smile in spite of what was happening in their lives.
With a sigh she got up and went into the kitchen to wash up. She had not heard from Paul since he had called earlier and she found herself missing his voice and the things he said to her. What was happening to her? She wondered.
*****
That night she dreamed that she was on top of the hill where Paul had taken her the other day and he was telling her to jump, he would catch her.
“Don’t you trust me?” his voice was deep and persuasive and he was all the way down looking up at her.
“I can’t, I am afraid I will fall.” She told him tremulously, her body shivering.
“I promise you I won’t let you fall Leah, I just want you to trust me to catch you.” He said persuasively.
“No!” she cried. “My father left me and also my mother, why should I trust you?”
“People leave Leah but God never does,” he told her gently, holding out his hand.
“I can’t,” she sobbed and to her dismay she woke up with tears on her cheeks. She had not cried at her dad’s funeral, not wanting people to see her grief. She had been too busy when she came back home to the empty house trying to sort out his affairs. Then right away she had gone to work at the newspaper but now it was like being with Paul and the people around him was stripping her of the protective covering she had placed over her emotions and she was getting peeled layer by layer.
She pulled the sheets off her and padded to the bathroom to drink some tap water. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her father had often told her that she looked so much like her mother he could not tell them apart and she had seen the large framed photo of her mother in the living room and realized that it was true. She wondered why her father had never resented her for living and her mother for dying and she had asked him one day and he had looked at her shocked.
“You are not responsible for ending your mother’s life baby girl and God knows best. Why on earth would I blame you for that?”
She had still wondered about it and had blamed God for taking her mother away from them. She pulled her hair back and twisted it into a knot at the nape of her neck. She was very disturbed by the dream and wondered what it meant and why was she crying? She rarely cried, having learned to lock her feelings inside her and never letting anyone see her fall apart.
She drank down the water thirstily and then returned to the bedroom. She had decided to change out the childish furniture that her father had left in her room and get some more suited to her adult taste. The pink and white dresser was way too young for her and besides she need to change the color scheme in the room. Her tastes had changed from pink and white to bold reds and greens now. She was a grown woman and her furniture should say it.
She climbed into the bed and pulled the sheets over her, determined not to think about Paul Maitland and the people who worked for him. She needed to get some sleep.
Chapter 4
“I want to show you something,” Paul told her as soon as she got to his office. She had come armed with her tools and had even dressed professionally in dark gray pants and white silk blouse, with her hair pinned on top of her head. She was determined to remain business like and professional to show herself and him that this was strictly business. He had returned last night and had called her first thing this morning.
“What? Another neglected house?” she asked him coolly ignoring the quickening of her heartbeat as she looked at him. He was in dark blue dress pants today with a soft blue cotton shirt and his hair was tousled by the wind and he had not bothered to fix it. He looked so handsome and she found herself wanting to walk straight into his arms and welcome him back.
“It’s something I bought for you. I saw it and it had your name on it.” She had greeted Mary-Ann who had told her to go straight in, he was waiting. She saw him go around his massive desk and came back with a small black pouch in his hands.