by Lacey Silks
I sighed without intending to. “All the time. Coming to Pace was one of the hardest decisions of my life.”
“But you didn’t have a choice.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Look at it this way. Your family of” – she quickly looked up and counted in her head – “six has grown to a family of millions.”
She waited for my reaction. “Because you’re like a Father of the whole church.”
“Yes, I get it, Kate.”
I just wanted to hear her speak some more. I bet half the time she didn’t even realize the impact of her words. What I didn’t get was how easy it was to be in her company. It was so easy to get lost in a conversation with her.
“Sorry. You look grumpy today.”
“It’s one of those days, you know. When your faith is tested and the choices you make end up affecting more than your own life, you begin to wonder whether you’re making the right choices.”
I glanced across the table and held her gaze, savoring the genuine smile. I wasn’t sure how long we’d been staring, but on my next blink, I cleared my throat. “Hey, I think I found another clue to your family roots.”
“Really?”
“I asked Father John about your mother. I didn’t ask him directly, so I didn’t mention that she’s your mother. Get this – the two of them used to be in love.”
“What?”
“Yeah, and then she fell in trouble with the Cortez brothers and had to leave town.”
“My mother knew the Cortez family?”
“Yeah, Father John thought she’d died, so he decided to become a priest. Also, he called her Anna. Not Joan or Joanna, just Anna. So, I was thinking that maybe your mother said John, not Jack after all.”
“Hhm, maybe – but I don’t think so. I mean, she’s ill. It’s all she’s said in the past half year. Do you think she remembers him? Do you think I should bring her to Pace?” After a quick thought, she added, “No, I can’t do that. It’s too risky.”
“Not yet, Kate, but maybe soon.” If Cortez was on the move and Anna had left town because she was in trouble, then it wasn’t safe for her to come back. “We need to find out where Cortez is hanging out first. I’ll call Brook. He can help.”
She shivered.
“And it makes sense to wait until Father John is healthy enough.” Lying to Kate wasn’t in my plan, but it was better not to trouble her. I didn’t want her to panic and leave town as well.
“There’s more.”
“More? That must have been some talk the two of you had.”
She had no idea.
“Anna’s parents, your grandparents, are buried in a chapel just outside of town. Their house used to stand there. I haven’t found the papers yet, but that land should still belong to your mother.”
“Really?”
I nodded.
“Do you think my brother’s there as well? I’ve combed through the cemetery at least a dozen times, and I couldn’t find him.”
Her eyes were so focused on me that I couldn’t take my gaze away from her. “Possibly. I don’t know. I know it’s a lot to take in”
“Right. I’m going to have to speak with Father John. Maybe he could tell me stories about Mom.”
“That sounds like a great idea. What are the plans for today?”
She took a sip of her coffee and swept a tissue across her lips. An urge to pocket it tingled in my palm. Her hand was trembling, but so was my heart. I wanted to take her in my arms and celebrate this news with her a little differently, but that would have been wrong.
“Well, we have geocaching this morning. The students will use GPS technology to find treasures. They need to use the cardinal coordinates to check in at different points around the camp. Once they collect all the treasures, they return to base camp. I’ll be walking around to see if anyone needs help with the GPS.”
“Do you need me to do anything?”
“It would help if you could stay at base, wait for them to return, and mark down each student. Or just be there if they’re fumbling with their equipment.”
I saw her cheeks turn pink as she caught onto her words a few seconds too late.
“I can definitely do that. Will they be venturing behind the cabins in the forest?” I asked, feeling my brow rise, watching her face with more interest. The beautiful shade on her cheeks intensified to a full rose bloom and I felt a sudden rush through my veins. Was she thinking about last night? And why did I want her to? Why was I trying to influence her?
“Well, a little, but not too far. We wouldn’t want them to get lost.”
“I have some good news for you, then. The maintenance guys said that the washrooms will be fixed and we’ll have running water by the evening.”
“That’s wonderful because some of these teens sweat like… well, animals.”
“It’s all right to say pigs, because they do sweat like pigs.”
She chuckled. “I for one can’t wait for a nice shower later on. It’s a wonder how humans survived without running water.”
“There are always rivers, lakes, and streams,” I suggested.
In fact, there was a wide stream just west of the camp, about a five-minute walk. With the heat wave that they were forecasting for the remaining two days of the retreat, a swim in a river would definitely feel refreshing.
“I guess you’re right. May as well use what God gave us, right?”
She had no clue that at her words, my mind drifted in a more intimate direction. With a body like hers, it would have been a sin not to imagine it being used for what it was intended to do; and at this moment, I wanted to believe that she had been created only for me, to use as I pleased. She was created to sin with me. Except I couldn’t.
“Right.” The limits of my self-control were being tested as the tightness in my pants became more uncomfortable.
Kate set her fork aside and finished her coffee. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I have to drag Lola out of bed. She was talking all night about…” she paused, and I wondered what she wanted to say. “…girl things.”
Girl things. What did that even mean?
“She’s having trouble forgetting someone.”
“Oh, well, don’t let me keep you, then.”
“I’ll see you later, Father.”
A little dejected, I watched her walk away and decided that I was definitely much happier around Kate.
I finished my breakfast and returned to my room to check my messages. There were none, which meant that I was doing my job right. It meant that I could stay at this parish until I found where Cortez had moved to. I was so close, I could feel it.
You find Cortez and you’ll find the woman. I recalled my brother’s words.
The morning of geocaching passed smoothly. Maybe I should have expected that from tech-savvy teenagers. My bigger issue would be fulfilling my role as a respectable priest around Kate. When I’d agreed to be assigned to this parish, I hadn’t expected this beautiful woman to be filling every spare second of my thoughts. I hadn’t expected to find anyone this captivating.
Once the students had caught all their treasures, we had lunch, followed by an hour of quiet time. Taking the peaceful opportunity, I grabbed my towel and headed out into the woods. The small creek nearby had been calling my name through every scorching second of this heat wave, and the black thick clothing I was wearing didn’t help with the sweat factor. If I waited until the evening for the bathrooms, I was afraid I’d attract a few skunks from the woods.
Moments later I was staring at a peaceful creek. I removed my shoes and clothes, folded them at the shore, and walked in waist-deep before submerging. The heat washed off my body in an instant. I lay back on the surface and let the stream carry me a few feet, and then swam back to my spot. It felt like barely any time had passed since I’d been living a carefree life. One where women were plentiful and my balls never got a chance to fill.
The good old days.
I swam to the other side of the shore
and then back, when I heard a splash. I turned toward the sound, but no one was there, and so I swam forward, down the stream and around the curve, where I saw her. I stopped and stood in the middle as Kate swam with her back turned to me. I could have called out to her, but watching her move around so flawlessly was much more rewarding. She stood up, water dripping down her bare back right over the upper curve of her pear-shaped ass, and I realized that like me, she was naked. I didn’t dare move and run the risk of her hearing me. Watching drops cascade down her body was a much better option. The water pushed against her lower back, just above the crease of her ass. God, was she ever gorgeous and perfect!
When she turned around, all I could do was watch her. I stared at her perfect silhouette as she twisted, imagined my hands on her hips pulling her closer, my mouth on her skin tasting her flavors, and my body fully pressed against hers, learning to blend with her curves. My imagination was running amok, and my dick swelled with lust.
Our gazes finally connected. Her mouth opened slightly as she scanned me from the bottom up and back down again. Though I was waist-deep, it didn’t stop her from taking an inhalation of appreciation. After what seemed like forever, yet not long enough, her hands flew up to her perfect breasts where her pink nipples had peaked, covering them.
“Father! I’m so sorry,” she called out, then submerged down to her neck. “I didn’t think anyone else would be here.”
“Neither did I.”
Biting her lip and trying to look everywhere but at me, Kate slowly side-stepped toward the shore.
“Kate, there’s no need to be embarrassed. We’re both human.”
“I recall you saying that before. But you’re a—”
“Yes, I’m a priest.” I wanted to sigh, but that would have been inappropriate. It would still take some time for me to get used to the consequences that came along with the job. Consequences such as not being able to sink deep into Kate.
“Kate, I’m sorry. If I’d known you would be here, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Really, it’s my fault. I’m the one who shouldn’t have come.” Her cheeks and neck were flushed red. It was a perfect tone that complemented her tanned skin.
“Of course you should have. It’s a public place, I just didn’t think anyone would be here.”
“Turn around, please,” she asked, when she arrived at the shore.
I obliged, and I heard her leave the stream and then fumble around with her clothes.
“Kate, wait. I’ll go upstream, where I should have stayed, and you can finish your swim.”
“It’s all right. I’m done now.”
I could have argued. I could have found a million reasons she should have accepted my invitation and remained with me. I could have made up a thousand stories to persuade her to stay, but it would have been wrong and reckless — dangerous, in fact — and so I didn’t. I waited until she got dressed and left, willing the hardness in my dick to go down. It wouldn’t budge.
“I’ll see you at the camp, Father.”
By the time I turned around, I only saw the wave of her hand. If it were a different time and a different place, perhaps today could have gone better. A perfect day would have ended with me sucking on those delicate folds between her legs.
I took a few more cool dips, which infuriatingly weren’t cold enough, and got dressed. By the time I reached the camp, Kate was sitting on the bench underneath a wooden gazebo in the common area. As soon as she saw me, she ran up to me, worry beaming out of her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Father.”
“Kate, it’s all right. I promise, I didn’t see anything,” I lied.
Another lie. Another sin.
“But I did, Father.”
I felt my brows rise.
“Well, not those parts.” She pointed to my zipper. Knowing she was looking there forced my blood south and I fought against nature to will down the wood that was about to get more visible.
“Which parts, then?”
“All the other parts. You know, your chest.” Her breath shortened as her gaze traveled upward. “Your arms and abs as well,” she said shyly.
Yet I wanted to hear more. “What else, Kate?”
“I know this is not a confession, but I have to get this off my chest.” She shut her eyes and I waited, wondering what other tempting words would come out of that perfect mouth of hers. “And that sprinkle of hair below your navel. I… I saw too much, and you’re a…”
She was cute and hot and if she reminded me that I was a priest again, I swore I would show her that I was also a man.
“Were you turned on, Kate?”
Would she answer the inappropriate question?
“I know I shouldn’t have been, and I’m so truly sorry for that.”
Her innocence and honesty drew me into her world. She didn’t even know it, but her revelations to me, out in the open and not in a confessional where I always tuned her out, were such a turn on that I could barely keep myself upright. I found that when I actually listened to her, concentrating was impossible.
“It’s already forgotten Kate.” But a priest should reprimand her, shouldn’t he? He should have suggested that despite her admission, inappropriate thoughts about a priest weren’t welcome. And so I leaned into her, and whispered, “Perhaps it’s time to have an internal chat with yourself, Kate. Listen to your instinct. Listen to the angel on your shoulder, not the devil when you’re making choices.”
What I failed to realize was that Kate was not an angel. Nothing even close. She was a temptress in disguise who would continue testing the limits of my patience.
Chapter 14
Kate
I hadn’t thought this trip would be difficult until I saw Father Cameron in his underwear two nights ago, and then again, almost naked swimming in the river yesterday afternoon. Actually, I was pretty sure that he had been naked, but the damn creek was deep enough that I could barely see below his waistline. That was enough to send my imagination on another rollercoaster ride. Then I slid down the shameless path when I openly talked about all the parts of him that I’d seen, and I could tell he liked listening to me talk. From that moment forth, I couldn’t look at him the same way. Worse yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about him in ways that no one should have. My shame was slowly turning into an aphrodisiac, and I loved every minute of it. He was turned on too. I could tell when I saw him grow and slightly lift over the water’s surface.
I turned on a priest. I’m so burning alive for this.
And if Lola knew, she’d never let me live it down.
What the hell am I doing?
I wanted to believe that Father Cameron had chosen the wrong calling. I wanted to believe that he shouldn’t have become a priest, but that would be wrong. Then again, this so-called wrong felt so right that I was beginning to question my faith.
Tonight was the last night of the retreat. For the past two days, each time I saw Father Cameron, I tried not to think about him in all his naked glory. Every time we spoke, I pretended that his muscled body was just another human body. Yet when I lay in bed at night, that body became the focal point of my obsession. How fair was it that he of all people wasn't available? A body like his was meant to be sinned with, not to be covered by clerical robes and unflattering clothes. Except Father Cameron’s attire didn’t matter. When I looked at him, the world spun quicker while time slowed, and the universe no longer made any sense.
And so on this last evening, I tapped my fingers over the night table beside my bed, wondering whether he was in his cabin, lost in prayer, begging for the sins of his patrons to be forgiven; and God only knew, since I had plenty, he could be there a long time.
“What’s the matter with you?” Lola asked.
“Everything is fine.”
“Is that why you’re looking at Father Cameron like he’s one giant lollipop you’d like to lick over and over again?”
“Eww, Lola. I’m not looking at him that way.”
Was I? Of course I
was; I’d just hoped that no one else had noticed.
“All right, a candy cane, then?”
“No, Lola. No sweets.”
“You prefer beef jerky?”
“Oh, just stop it, will you? I’m going to check if all the lights are out.”
“Make sure you check Father Cameron’s as well!” she called out, as the door to our cabin shut behind me.
I knocked on the first girls’ cabin, saying, “Lights out, ladies.”
The switch turned off. I went around the campsite’s perimeter and somehow ended up at the edge of the forest, right behind Father Cameron’s cabin. My legs had carried me to the same spot where I’d ogled him undressing on our first night here, and I couldn’t have been happier.
I leaned back against the same tree and waited, staring into Father Cameron’s dark window, wondering whether he was asleep. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, yet I didn’t budge. The idea of seeing him naked was titillating. I should have buried that brewing yearning deep inside me – burned it if I could – but letting it go was more difficult than quitting smoking after a lifetime of cigarettes.
The thought of confiding in Father Cameron in a confessional crossed my mind, but that felt wrong as well.
A light flicked on in Father Cameron’s cabin. Protected by the darkness of the night, I braced my back deeper against the tree. My feet remained pinned to the ground as if I’d been planted there since the beginning of time.
Wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, he came out of his bathroom, sat on a couch, and turned on his laptop. I held my breath. Extending his legs out on the table he looked like any other man. Father Cameron reached for a bottle of cold beer and tilting his head back, put it to his lips. That was the first time I ever wondered about the temperature of his mouth after he’d had a few sips. The thoughts sent that delightful shiver over my spine, and I gently rubbed my back against the tree.
I should leave.
As I stepped to the side, Father Cameron reached for his zipper, and I returned to my spot. I held my breath while he unfastened it. I watched him scroll through the screen. A few clicks later, he shimmied out of his pants and lowered them to his knees. My heart rate sped as his hand slowly slipped underneath his boxer-briefs.