“What could that be?” I lean forward, narrowing my eyes at him playfully.
“From the looks of it, I see you’ve been cramming.” He glances down at my textbook and back up at me. “Would it be safe to say that you’re done with classes today?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes, but I have to work.” I frown.
“Oh, you’re spreading yourself thin.” He chuckles. It’s a deep, raspy chuckle that literally makes me shiver from head to toe.
“My wallet is pretty thin, too,” I answer, smiling brightly to shake whatever it was that I just felt. Cut the crap. I’m still human, and he’s attractive. Stop questioning everything you feel.
“Good point.” He winks as he removes the cap on his lens, pointing the camera at me. “What about after that?”
“Well…I get off at six or so, and I was planning to go back to my apartment to study,” I affirm as I jokingly cover the lens with my hand.
“Can you postpone studying for tonight and help me with my project?” He peeks at me from behind the lens.
“I guess I can put off studying for another night to help you out,” I muse, fluttering my eyelashes.
“Sweet,” he replies, leaning back and exhaling deeply while looking content. “Your place or mine?”
“Oh, boy.” I tap my foot under the table and debate my options. “Let’s do my place. Is that okay?”
“Sure, I don’t have much to bring, just my camera and maybe some backdrops.”
“I’m kind of excited about the idea.”
“Good. I want you relaxed behind the camera. It shows if you’re nervous.” My skin tingles when he touches my cheek with the back of his hand before rising from the table. “I can’t wait to capture those eyes.”
We both look at each other. My gaze is caught in the intensity of his eyes. I try to force myself to look away, but I don’t. I know what my intentions are with all of this. I want my freedom, and I’m getting it. I just have to make sure I pull the reigns before he gets the wrong idea. I swallow the pit lodged in my throat before he leaves. I have to be clear with him.
“Chad?”
“What’s up?” he replies, replacing the cap on the lens of his camera. “Change your mind?” He pouts teasingly.
Everything I wanted to say goes out the window as I watch an infectious smile cross his face, and those blue eyes gleam like sapphires.
“I hate when people are late.”
“I won’t be late. Trust me.”
I spend the next hour studying before I head over to the center to work. I miss the kids and need the break from classes. As I’m getting ready to pack up to leave, I spot Sierra at the counter paying for a coffee and flirting with the barista. Her red hair is pulled back in a sleek ponytail and she’s wearing black tights under a brown suede jacket with brown leather boots. I pray she doesn’t notice me. I’ve had enough drama to deal with the last few hours, and I definitely don’t want to deal with one of the guilty parties. She peers across the room for an empty table when our eyes connect. A smile creeps across her lips and her eyes glint deviously. I never break eye contact with her as I place my books in my backpack. I focus on the tapping of her boots on the floor as she walks across the room preparing myself for whatever she has to dish out. When it comes to Sierra it’s never good.
“Hey, Elle, leaving so soon?” she coos, placing her hand on the back of the chair
“In a minute, what do you want?” I snap under my breath, aware of the other customers in the small café. She has a way of bringing out the bitch in me. I never got the chance to share with her how I truly felt about her after Cane and I broke up.
“No need to be angry.” She says smugly as she pulls out a chair and sits down.
“Right. No need to be such a bitch,” I say insolently. The sound of her voice makes my ears bristle.
“Wow.” She smiles, shaking her head. “She swears.”
“Listen. We don’t have much to talk about.” I narrow my eyes at her.
“I always wondered what Cane loved about you. Could it be the fact that you’re so needy?” She smiles wickedly.
“I ask myself the same question about you. How could Cane be with someone that is such a nasty bitch?” I snap impatiently.
“I’m only a bitch when I don’t get what I want.” She laughs, taking a sip of her coffee. She sets down the cup, scrutinizing me from across the table. “What do guys find so special about you? Yeah, you’re pretty, have a nice body, and gorgeous hair, but I have that, too.” She leans back in her chair, folding her arms across her ample chest. “It must be the whole damsel in distress thing. You’re broken somehow. Guys love that.”
“Fuck you,” I whisper, leaning forward. “You know nothing about me. You like playing these games. You destroyed my relationship with Cane, and now you are making the move on Reed. I know what kind of person you are. You’re the broken one here.”
She laughs mockingly. “You and Reed. Sweet love story. He told me all about it.”
I am momentarily stunned and suck in a breath at the idea of Reed sharing anything about our relationship with Sierra. What could he possibly see in her to share anything so personal like that?
“I think someone needs to focus on their own issues and not others,” I retort, sensing my patience rapidly wearing thin with her and this conversation that is going nowhere.
“Did I hit a nerve?” she scoffs, flipping her ponytail.
“Reed and I are over.” I turn away to watch golden sunbeams bathe the café with light. Saying the words aloud hurt more than anything and sharing them with her hurts worse since she’s the one he’s been spending time with since he’s returned.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She bites her lower lip. “He’s a really nice guy.”
A cynical chuckle escapes my mouth, but inwardly I wince. Imagining her with Reed burns me. Even after what he did to me, he deserves better than Sierra. “Yes, you’re sorry you didn’t hear about us earlier so that you could get your claws into him, too.”
“I’m not after you, Elle. I’m not like that. Reed and I are just friends. Kind of like you and Tyler.” She shifts in her seat and leans toward me, resting on her elbow.
“For someone I barely know, you seem to know a lot about my life.”
“You and Tyler seem like a good fit. Don’t you think? Isn’t his birthday this weekend?”
“It’s none of your business.” I scowl, taking a sip of my coffee.
“If you’re afraid I’m gonna make a move on Tyler, I’m not. He’s not my type.”
“Yeah, he’s too good for you.”
“Seems like he’s not for you either.” She laughs with contempt in her eyes.
“I’m not sure what the point of this conversation is. If it’s to annoy me, you’ve succeeded. You’re delusional if you think I’m going to sit here and chitchat with you about my life.”
“I just want to wish Tyler happy birthday. There is no harm in that. Anyways, I’m going to be meeting Reed later. Is there anything you’d like for me to tell him?”
I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, fighting back the urge to rise and take a swing at her. My bitch switch is flipped on, and my filters are off. Flicking my eyes open, I press my lips firmly together and give her a mocking look, ready to give her more jolt than the caffeine in her damn coffee.
“No, that’s not necessary. Reed’s already called me. Has he told you?” I reply ingenuously, tilting my head to the side. I can tell by her facial expression that she’s ready to blow. The legs of the chair screech across the floor as she abruptly rises from the table. She grabs her coffee without saying a word and turns to leave. Her red ponytail swings angrily from side to side. “One more thing, Sierra,” I snip as she glances over her shoulder. “You better make sure Reed isn’t sneaking around behind your back. It seems I might know a thing or two on how that works. You wouldn’t want a fine piece of ass like Reed to end up with his ex-girlfriend. Now, would you?”
Things at the center have been relatively quiet. The new hires are working well, and the kids seem to love them. That’s all that matters to me. Evelyn still works the front desk and has taken over some of the items that I managed over the summer. I’m glad because it leaves less for me to catch up on.
I sit in the office that Reed walked into so many times. I just can’t seem to shake him. I rest my elbows on the desk and cup my face in my hands. “This is going to get easier,” I mumble under my breath. After seeing Sierra earlier, it angers me more than anything else now.
“Hey.”
I peek up at Evelyn through my fingers and smile warily as she enters the office and gracefully slides into the chair facing me. “What’s going on with you? You have this sad puppy dog look. Something happen?” she asks, studying me.
Shifting my eyes from her to the computer, I sit up and peer past her. I’m not sure that I want to share my recent discovery with her, but she is relentless and will not leave until I tell her. I’d rather sift through what I’ve learned alone.
“Is it that obvious?” I sigh, pressing my lips together. I wish I were better at hiding my emotions.
“Ahh... yes.” She snorts, throwing me a pointed look. “Give me the latest. What’s going on?” she asks, pulling the chair closer to the desk. “Come on,” she begs.
Evelyn can’t take no for an answer, and she has this reoccurring chronic problem with keeping her mouth shut on certain personal matters.
“Promise me that this is between you and me and no one else,” I say as I push my chair closer to the desk.
“You can trust me.”
“Can I?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Yes, come on,” she pleads, waving her hand at me to fill her in as I continue to debate whether telling her is smart on my part, but she’s going to find out sooner or later. “Oh my God! Spill it!” she blurts out impatiently.
“Fine.” I inhale begrudgingly, sensing her anticipation as she leans in closer with her big, brown eyes trained on me.
I nervously begin playing with the cord on the phone, which makes her even more agitated like she’s ready to jump over the desk and pry it out of me. I relent before she does. “Reed is back,” I finally whisper.
“Say what again?” she retorts, her eyes widening.
“I didn’t stutter,” I say, slightly irritated thinking about it. “I saw him the other night...with Sierra.”
“Holy effin shit! That’s crazy. After what she did to you and Cane, she is making the move on Reed?”
“I don’t know what is going on, but it sure looks that way.”
“I knew he was a player,” she answers firmly, shaking her head. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
I don’t know how to respond because I silently don’t agree with her comment, and I’m not sure why, even though the evidence points in that direction. I’m not going to mention the detail that he never showed up to meet me the other night. I think the fact that she knows Reed is back is enough.
“Well, I’ve moved on.” I say, trying to sound convincing. It was going well for a little while and then Reed happened again.
“Are you sure? I mean, you guys were really into each other,” she says softly as if speaking to me gently is going to ease the hurt I feel.
My chest seizes, and for a moment I have this urge to cry, remembering what we had. There is nothing I can do. He can’t fix the damage, and I’m not sure I want to. How many chances do I need to give someone to prove that they care about me and our relationship?
“Can we not talk about him anymore? You had to know, so now you know,” I say, leafing through some papers on my desk.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” she answers, adjusting the sleeves on her low-cut navy blue tunic.
“You’re the only one I’ve told. If anyone other than you and I know, then I’ll know where the leak came from.”
“I promise. Not a peep from me.” She winks. “By the way, we’re overdue for a girls’ night.”
Normally, well, in my previous life, I would have put up a fight about this. Now, I just push the old Elle out of the way.
“All right. I could use one of those right about now.”
“Great. I’ll plan it, and you call Piper. We’re doing shots and Cosmos, and by the end of the night, you won’t even remember who the hell Reed is!”
I finally return to my empty apartment and grab the mail, which consists of a couple of letters from medical schools I applied to down south, a bunch of take-out menus and a Victoria’s Secret catalog. I avoid the letters all together at first. Instead, I flip through the new catalog, not in need of any lingerie or smexy stuff at the moment. I already bought a few pieces in red after Reed left me. I guess it’s safe to assume that maybe his favorite color is red and that he’ll never get to see those pieces on me. His loss, but I guess he’d rather have a redheaded girlfriend instead.
I throw the catalog onto the couch and stare at the letters. I should be excited. I’ve been waiting awhile for a response and here they are in front of me, tangible proof that things are moving along. I made some of my choices based on my life at that particular moment. Now, things have changed, so I need to rethink my options. I need to make a decision soon. I put the letters aside. I need to be in a better mindset.
It’s a little after six, so I grab some leftovers that I brought home from my mom’s house from the fridge. I turn on the TV and kick off my shoes and take inventory of my day. Reed ignored my text from last night, classes were a complete blur and Sierra was the icing on the fucking cake, but I ended up getting the last laugh. It felt great to give her a taste of her own medicine.
After finishing my food, I wash the plate and put it away. I make my way to the bathroom to relax and take a bath before I study when there’s a knock at the door.
“Shit,” I mumble to myself, scurrying to the door and adjusting my black top. “Who is it?” I ask as peek through the peephole.
“Chad.”
Crap. I totally forgot about Chad.
My gaze drops to my clothes, wishing I had something more comfortable instead of my skinny jeans. I hastily check my hair in the mirror and see a pair of sad hazel eyes staring back at me, remnants of when I was happier. I shake my brown hair out of my ponytail and let it cascade down my shoulders before I open the door.
Chad takes my breath away as he stands in front of me wearing the same clothes from earlier today with his sincere face, boyish disheveled blonde hair and sultry eyes. He should stop talking about my eyes; his are just as amazing.
“Come in,” I say, clearing my throat nervously and unable to take my eyes away from him.
“Thanks,” he replies, smiling sweetly as I let him pass by me carrying a large, black camera bag and a couple of backdrops.
He smells good too, masculine and spicy. I shake my head, close the door and shove my hands into my pockets when he turns to face me.
“Sorry, I forgot. I was about to take a bath.”
“Well, don’t let me stop you. Just go ahead and continue what you were doing,” he says with a mischievous wink.
“Funny.” I laugh. Walking past him, I gently nudge him in the ribs. “Can I get you anything?”
“Water is fine,” he answers and sets his bag and backdrops onto the couch. He follows me into the kitchen and leans against the island. The kitchen is a good size, complete with a long counter against the wall, housing plenty of cabinets, stainless steel sink, granite countertops and all black appliances. There is a small table against the wall with two chairs facing each other under a small window that looks out over a small backyard.
“Here you go,” I say, handing him a bottled water from the fridge. “So, what do you have in mind for your photos?” I ask propping myself on the counter with my arms at my side.
“We can do some face shots and then maybe some full body shots.” he says, raising an eyebrow temptingly.
“Ha. Ha.” I laugh softly. “Should I wear something in particular?”
“Thank you.” It comes out a strangled whisper as we continue to gaze at each other. My eyes see how attractive he is, and now my body is sensing something, too. I blush, averting my eyes to my feet before lowering myself to the floor. “Do you need help with anything?” I gaze up at him cautiously. His nearness is comforting and dangerous.
“I’ll take care of everything. You just look...” He stops talking and steps to me, brushing the hair off my shoulder. “Just like you do now.” He smiles, the skin around his hypnotizing eyes crinkling.
I break his gaze again for a moment, overwhelmed by what I see in his eyes. I get these primitive carnal urges just to take everything that is made available to me. I no longer want to play it safe. But why am I what’s stopping me? Just me. I shouldn’t feel regret for anything I do. I need to live for me and nobody else.
“Right there,” Chad whispers. Leaning his face down to mine, he lifts my chin. “I love the look in your eyes right now.”
I draw in a deep breath and smile as my eyes flick down to his lips. His eyes follow mine, and he leans in to kiss me sweetly and tenderly. It lasts only a few seconds, but I can feel the intense blush flood my cheeks and his breathing quicken when our lips touch.
“I’m sorry,” he sputters, rubbing the back of his neck as he pulls away.
“It’s okay.” I look away, seeking refuge from his penetrating eyes. “It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” I reply, speaking truthfully. For once, I didn’t let fear stifle my first instinct. I feel so far away from everything at the moment, in my own place with my own rules, that nothing from the outside invading and overwhelming my every emotion.
He gives me the most genuine smile and kisses my cheek. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
That one word takes on so many meanings to me tonight and moving forward.
After about an hour of taking pictures and a couple of wardrobe changes, Chad is almost at the end of his film and asks me to do a few shots on the bed. I have to say I’m a little uncomfortable about the whole thing, but I relent. I rummage through my closet and drawers I look for something that’s not too revealing as Chad sets up his camera.
Wanting Reed (Break Me) BOOK 2 Page 17