He runs a hand through his hair again. “I didn’t intentionally hide anything from you. I’ve got shit in my past that just fucking hurts for me to even think about, let alone talk about. Shit that I’ve never talked about to anyone, ever. But I…” He clears his throat and moves just a little bit closer to her. “I want to tell you everything. You’re the only person that I’ve ever wanted to talk to. I want you to know me. Know who I am. I know you probably hate me right now – I don’t blame you if you do – but will you please just give me a chance to explain? Please? That’s all I’m asking.”
“I already gave you a chance to explain everything, and you didn’t. You refused to tell me anything.”
“You’re not being fair here, Myra. You knew Sabrina was listening and I was standing there in my fucking boxers. You said I could come over later, that we could talk. But you never gave me that chance. Instead you just ran out of town and didn’t even bother to take my damn calls.”
Myra’s eyes flash with anger. “I never told you that you could come over later. That’s just something you assumed. I told you that I needed answers right then. Don’t you dare try to turn all of this around on me. Do you have any idea how it felt to have you run out on me after our night together? You… you just left me standing there, with no explanation… with nothing.”
He grimaces. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“I trusted you. I trusted that you’d let me know you were okay. That you’d explain what was going on. But you never bothered.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m really fucking sorry for doing that to you. I should’ve called you but I fucked up.”
“Do you know what it felt like to find out you had an ex-wife the way I did, who was standing there in your house practically naked, wearing your wedding ring? Do you have any idea how I felt when I found out that you left me to be with her?” Myra asks, her voice breaking, her eyes glistening with tears.
“I know it looked bad, but I didn’t do anything wrong, I—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong?” Myra yells.
Dylan groans, squeezing his eyes shut. “No. No, I didn’t mean it that way. I did everything wrong. I fucked everything up. Everything’s my fault.”
His chest tightens as he watches her lip tremble. She drags in a heavy breath. “I’m tired, Dylan. I’m so tired of men lying to me. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m just… done.”
Dylan closes the distance between them. “Well, I’m not done with you. And don’t you dare lump me in with that shithead of a sleaze ex of yours because I’m nothing like him. I didn’t cheat on you, I—”
“You don’t think I haven’t heard that before? That’s all Trent ever said. He justified everything with those three little words: ‘I didn’t cheat’. I’m so sick and tired—”
“Don’t say that fucker’s name again. That piece of shit has nothing to do with us. I’m not justifying anything; I’m telling you the facts. I didn’t fuck Sabrina. I didn’t think about fucking Sabrina. I have no intentions of fucking her or being with her in any way possible now or in the future. What she and I had was over a long time ago. All I want is you, goddamn it. I only want you, Myra, only you.”
A soft sob escapes her before she drops down on the bed, burying her face in her hands. He quickly sits down next to her. “I fucked up; I know I did,” he continues. “And I’m so sorry. If I could, I’d go back and do everything differently. But I can’t. All I can do is beg you to forgive me and ask you to give me another chance. It’s fucking killing me to know that I’ve hurt you so much.”
His hand hovers over her hair that’s draped across her face like a curtain between them. It trembles with the urge to push it back, to touch her, to just be able to see her face. To know what she’s thinking right now. Mid-air, he clenches his hand into a tight fist. It physically hurts him to not be able to touch her.
Sniffling, she wipes her eyes on her sleeves and stares down at her lap. He stays quiet, giving her a moment. Watching her fingers in her lap fidget with the ends of her sweater sleeves, he waits for her to say something; give him some kind of reaction, but she doesn’t.
He clears his throat. “I know I’m not worth a second chance; I know I’m not, but I… I need you,” he says in a soft voice. “Myra, I need you so fucking badly. You make me – feel – again. I’ve been numb. For so damn long. You don’t know what it’s been like for me these last couple of years. Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this, and I’ll do it. Please.”
His chest burns, his heart beating painfully in his chest as he waits for her to answer. After what seems like an eternity, she pushes her hair behind her ear and clears her throat. “I need… I need some time,” she says in a quiet voice, her eyes on her clasped hands in her lap, “… to think.”
“Yeah… Okay. I can do that.”
She takes in a deep breath. “How long will you be here… in town?”
He angles himself towards her. “I’ll be here for as long as it takes,” he tells her with all of the sincerity he can muster.
Myra looks up, making eye contact with him for just a moment before nodding and looking back down at her hands again. “I’ll call you… tomorrow.”
He blows out a heavy breath. “Okay. Good. That’s good. Thank you. Just… just give me an opportunity to talk, okay? After that, if you still feel the same way about me… then… well…” he stammers, running a hand through his hair. She looks up at him and nods.
He stands and realizes he still has the rose he brought in his hand. “I felt like a stupid ass for buying this,” he says, holding it up, “but just… I want you to know that it comes from… here.” He puts his hand over his heart and holds the rose out to her.
Her eyes linger on his hand that rests on his chest before she reaches out and takes the rose from him. Closing her eyes, she brings it to her nose for a moment before staring down at it intently.
“Well, I guess I’ll head out,” he says uncomfortably.
Myra lays the rose gently on the bed before standing and walking to the door and opening it. Silently, he follows her back down the stairs and past the dining room.
“Hey, where are you guys off to?” Susie shouts out at them.
Myra groans but opens the door anyway. Dylan stops and looks down at her. “So you’ll call me…” he asks in a low voice, “… tomorrow?”
Myra nods just as Susie steps out into the hallway. “What’s going on?” she asks, her eyes darting between Myra and Dylan.
Myra sighs. “Dylan’s leaving.”
“Why?” Susie asks, frowning.
“He just is,” Myra says.
“But—” Susie starts to say before Dylan interrupts.
“I have to go,” he says to Susie. “But thank you for the dinner offer.”
He looks back into Myra’s eyes for a moment and whispers, “Bye,” before stepping out into the chilly Philadelphia air.
* * *
“What the hell is going on?” Susie demands before Myra even gets the door shut.
She takes in a deep breath before she turns around. “Nothing…”
Susie steps closer to her, her eyes narrowing. “Have you been crying?”
“No, let’s go back and finish dinner,” she says, avoiding Susie’s eyes. She tries to walk past her, but Susie grabs her arm.
“Do I need to go chase that gorgeous hunk down and pull out a can of Susie whoop-ass?”
“No, let’s just go eat.”
“I don’t think so. You’ve got lots of explaining to do, little missy.”
“There’s nothing to explain.”
“Get your lying bony buns upstairs and to my bedroom pronto,” Susie says. “I need to go talk to Jeff for a minute and then I’ll be up there. You and I need to partake in some el communicado.”
Susie turns and marches off before Myra can respond.
As if on auto-pilot, she puts one foot in front of the other and makes her way slowly upstairs. Her mind, her emotions, just everything is a
jumbled mess. She feels like she doesn’t know which way is up anymore. She still can’t believe Dylan showed up like he did – that he flew all the way out here just to see her. She felt like she was going to pass out when she saw him standing there with that rose in his hand looking so unbelievably handsome and nervous.
The things he said to her... and the look in his eyes when he said it. Her resolve almost completely crumbled when he told her that she was all he wanted. There was so much sincerity in his voice. But can she trust him again? She’s not so sure.
She looks up when Susie enters the bedroom and her brows pull together when she sees Susie juggling a huge plate of food and a can of Diet Coke. “I just totally whored myself out to Jeff,” Susie says, huffing. She sets the food and Diet Coke on the nightstand. “I’m a complete and total prostitute. I had to promise that filthy man a bunch of sexing just to get him to bathe the boys and put them to bed. Why do I have to stoop to sexual deals just to get his lazy ass to do the stuff he’s supposed to do already? Do you see the inequality here? Imagine if the tables were turned. Can you see me saying, ‘Uh, Jeff? The only way I’ll vacuum tonight is if you lick my pussy’. Yeah, that wouldn’t happen in a billion years.”
Myra smiles and shakes her head as Susie plops on the bed. She grabs the plate and puts it in her lap. “Want some?” she asks. “I brought extra.”
Myra shakes her head and tries not to smile at the huge pile of food on Susie’s plate.
Susie shrugs and picks up a biscuit and crams it in her mouth. Goony, Susie’s mutt dog, makes an appearance, his head popping up on the side of the bed, eyeballing Susie’s plate of food.
Susie growls at him and waves her hands frantically, shooing him away. She finally swallows her bite. “Goony, you stink bomb, I forgot I locked you in here. Go lay on your bed, you mangy mutt. Right now,” Susie shouts, pointing at his bed in the corner. “You know I don’t share my food, now scoot!”
“When are you going to get that poor thing groomed? His hair’s so long he can’t even see.” Myra watches as he waddles over to his bed. She can’t help but smile at how funny he looks.
“I like him all grungy. I can use him as a back-up mop. All I have to do is shove a stick up his ass and grab a bucket, and I’m good to go,” Susie says with a giggle.
“Shame on you,” Myra says, cracking a smile and shaking her head as she continues to watch him. “He looks like a hairball with legs.”
“All right, enough about Goony and his ugly. You’re just trying to distract me. So what did that scruffy, super-sexy, I-stalked-you-two-thousand-miles-with-a-rose romantic hunk of hot ass do exactly?” Susie asks.
Before Myra can respond, Susie shakes her head and holds up her hand. “Wait a minute. I need a moment. Because I just know that asshat did something atrocious and I’m going to go all bi-polar on his fine ass and hate the man’s guts in about five seconds flat, so let me get this out of the way first.”
Susie closes her eyes and leans her head back against the headboard and smiles. Myra frowns at her when she doesn’t say anything. Finally, she opens her eyes and sighs heavily. “Myra. Do you get how super fine that man is?”
Myra rolls her eyes and huffs. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“But I have to. He is so very fine and very delectable and edible and can I just say that I’d actually forgotten how truly super yummy he is with those jeans hanging off his hips and those work boots he wears? And oh holy hell, don’t get me started on that hair and that scruffy face. I truly apologize for my lustful tendencies towards your man, but my god, you are one lucky woman to have had that man between your legs.”
“Oh my god,” Myra shouts. “Did you have to say that? Can you be any cruder?”
“Yes, I could be cruder, but I’m holding back right now. I’m super-duper sorry,” Susie says before cramming a mouthful of mashed potatoes into her mouth, “but I can’t help it.” She stops for a moment to swallow her food. “There’s just something about that man that brings out the ultra perv in me. He’s like a walking porn show or something. Okay. Now that I’ve got that out of my system, what did he do? I’m ready.”
Myra sighs and plays with the edge of the comforter. “There’s not much to talk about.”
“Bullshit. Spill, woman, I don’t have all day here because I’m probably going to go for another plate as soon as I finish this one off so hurry up.”
“We just kind of got into an argument before I left town. That’s all.”
“What kind of argument?” she asks before taking a swig of Diet Coke.
“It was over nothing really.”
“Double bullshit! Are you hiding things from me because of what happened with my dad?”
“No,” Myra protests weakly as she stares at her hands.
“Mmhm…” Susie hums. Myra glances at her and notices that she’s staring at Myra’s nose with a funny look on her face. “What?” Myra asks rubbing her nose, thinking there’s something on it.
“Yep… that schnozz of yours has definitely gotten longer – since you’ve been lying your ass off to me! I can’t believe you’ve been keeping important shit from me.”
“I haven’t—”
“Yes, you have. I’ve been asking you all week how Dylan’s doing, is he missing you, have you been missing him. I’ve even teased you about missing that gigantic elephant dick of his and every time, you’ve just pretended that everything was fine.”
Myra sighs and continues to stare down at the comforter.
“Myra, look at me,” Susie says. Myra reluctantly looks up. “Honey, you’ve been incredible this week. You’ve been my rock. You’ve been there for me every second and listened to me pour my heart out and let me cry and snot all over your shoulder. You’ve been the absolute bestest friend a person could possibly ever wish for. And I know what you’re trying to do. You are so sweet and absolutely selfless. Now let me be your bestest friend and tell me what’s going on. Because I can tell you’re hurting. It’s been written on your face since that sexalicious man showed up in the dining room.”
Myra clears her throat. “I just didn’t want to burden you. With everything that you’ve got going on…”
“Burden me, baby. I promise you that I’m okay.”
Myra sighs and continues staring down at the comforter.
Susie crosses her arms over her chest. “Start talking or I swear I will drive my fat ass to every hotel in Philly and hunt that man down and demand answers directly from him and you know I will.”
“Okay, okay,” Myra says. She takes in a deep breath. “Well… you know the morning after we had… sex… and he suddenly left?”
“Yes. You told me it was a family thing and not a big deal.”
“Well, that’s not exactly the truth.”
“Mmhm… and that’s why your nose groweth,” Susie says, pointing her fork at her.
“Sorry. I was going to tell you what happened, but then your dad… Anyway, he… Dylan – left me that morning to go be with… Sabrina.”
“What?” Susie says in a low voice, lowering her fork but still holding it in mid-air.
“Sabrina is his ex-wife.”
“What the…?”
“Yep… he was married and never bothered to tell me. I went by his house the next morning to check on him, to see if he was all right. And Sabrina answered the door… wearing only his shirt and her wedding ring. She told me she was his ex and that they were working on getting back together.”
Susie finally lowers her fork. “Holy horse shit,” she whispers, her eyes wide, her mouth parted slightly.
“Eventually Dylan came to the door... in only his boxers. I thought for sure they’d slept together. And he was not happy to see me there. Of course he denied that anything happened. I know it’s probably stupidly naïve and dumb, but I did believe him. And today, he adamantly denied it again. Anyway, I demanded that he tell me what was going on but he refused. He said he didn’t want to talk while she was there and wanted to come over
later. So I went back home, packed a bag and had every intention of just catching the first flight out to come visit you for a while, to get some space from him. But then you called, about your dad. I left before he got a chance to come over.”
Susie’s expression turns furious. “That. Fucking. Turd. That sorry low-down piece of dog shit. I knew it! I knew he’d make me go bi-polar again. I’m going to kick his beautiful, round ass so hard that he’s going to wear those ass cheeks on his forehead. I’m going to rip his big balls from that gorgeous body of his, blend them up in a mixer, and serve them to him in a frosty cup with a bendy straw. I’m going to—”
“Stop! You’re not going to doing anything. I know you’re protective of me, and I appreciate it, but this is my problem. And I’m going to deal with it. Somehow…” Myra’s voice waivers.
“I can’t believe he did that. What a slimy, scuzzy, maggot brain. Why does that asshead have to be so gorgeous? I hate that about him. I wish he was ugly. He needs to pay for this. I’m going to—”
“Wait. He told me he got your address off of a card you sent. Did you send me a card?”
“A card?” Susie asks her brows furrowed for a few seconds before she throws her head back and laughs. “Oh, Lordy, I totally forgot about that.” She throws Myra a devilish smile. “I made you a ‘You Got Dicked’ card.”
“You what?”
Susie giggles like crazy. “Oh, god, it’s hilarious. You’re going to die laughing. You should have seen me Googling pictures of dicks. I ended up making myself horny and had to have a consultation with Mr. Gigantopolis.” Susie cackles like a hyena.
“Ugh, that’s disgusting.”
“Sorry,” Susie says, still laughing. “I’m just kidding. Well, kind of. Anyway, I sent it to you right before I found out about dad.”
“I can’t believe you did that.”
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